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Happiness

Stop Saying “Yes” when its clearly a “No”

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Make the choice to stop doing it. Literally chose to stop. Period.

Stop saying yes to relationships you know are a no.

Stop saying yes to people you don’t want to date.

Stop swiping right when it’s a left.

Stop saying yes to someone who treats you like a massive maybe.

Stop saying yes to partners who don’t share your values or sense of humour.

Stop saying yes to mediocre connections and communication.

Stop saying yes to mediocre, half-ass sex in your relationship.

Stop saying yes to dating people you don’t respect, who don’t inspire you and call you forward to grow.

Stop saying yes to ‘acquaintances’ who are clearly a no.

Stop saying yes to jobs you hate, bosses who cross the line and projects that leave you sitting in your car white knuckling the steering wheel while yelling at the top of your lungs cause you can’t fucking take working there anymore and you’re on the verge of a breakdown…

Stop saying yes to working for companies you don’t like, making products you would never use, and services that leave you feeling like a total fraud.

Stop. Making. Everyone. Happy. But. YOU.

Look, I get it. You have bills to pay, a family to provide for, and a future to build.

But who’s future are you building? The one you want or the one someone else has asked you to do?

So how do we shift? How do we be more selfish and choose ourselves?

Here’s the deal: everyone is selfish. All the time.

However, most people spend the majority of their time and energy trying to create the illusion they’re not.

They find jobs, causes, partners and friends all to create the illusion that they are selfless. They surround themselves with people who constantly need them, people who will reaffirm that they are a needed, important, and ‘good’ person.

But for those who want to lean into the discomfort of choosing themselves and start saying yes to the things that matter, there are a few things we need to know.

  1. What Being Selfish Is and Isn’t.

Being selfish is not about spiting people, intentionally hurting others, going out of your way to offend people, or recklessly choosing yourself at the expense of others (neglecting children, physically endangering others because of your behaviour).

Being selfish IS choosing to set good boundaries, being self aware, respecting what you need to perform and show up for the people you love most.

Healthy selfishness is the understanding that when you take care of your own needs first, you can better provide for the people who really matter to you.

2. Know That Happiness And Success Require Selfishness

Want to know one of the biggest things holding you back from success, happiness, real love, intimacy, great sex, and connection?

You would rather be selfless than happy (or any of those other qualities).

I’ll prove it to you.

Let’s use happiness to make this simple.

Think about someone you love deeply. Maybe your wife, husband, children, or family member.

Picture them in your mind.

Now imagine saying to them “I’d rather be happy than have you.”

You’re in a compromised position aren’t you?

Most people can’t imagine saying that because it would make them seem selfish, mean, or look like a complete asshole.

You don’t want to admit that when it comes down to it, but you would chose someone else even if it cost you happiness.

Let’s take it one step further.

Think of that person who you love so much.

Now imagine asking them, “Would you rather see me happy or be with you?”

The majority of people (the ones who have healthy boundaries and aren’t so attached to you that they can’t live without you) are going to say, “I want you to be happy.”

Isn’t it ironic that the people we love most want US to be happy, yet we are constantly making choices just to appease them?

Here’s the cycle people get stuck in trying to avoid being seen as selfish:

We want to be happy –> happiness depends on us owning what we want –> we think what we want will hurt other people –> we compromise or settle –> we aren’t fully happy –> we realize this and want to be happy…. and so it goes.

So what do we do? How do we change the trend now that we know happiness and success require some selfishness?

We need to…

3. Learn How To Say No

First, think of someone who you think is very happy or very successful (those two things don’t always go hand in hand).

What makes them this way? Their bank account? Their perfectly straight, white teeth? Their nice car, big house, or the amount of travel they do every year?

Nope.

It’s their ability to say no to the shit that doesn’t interest them.

But this can be overwhelming at first. For most people, they have either become so skilled at saying yes to everything that the “No” facing them seems HUGE and insurmountable.

Because of this, we must start small.

When it comes to breaking the cycle, don’t try and make a big gesture (ie: getting divorced, buying the BMW you’ve always wanted and refusing to pick up the kids from school anymore so you can get in your 18 holes of golf after work. Those are just mid-life crisis indicators).

Start by noticing the small things you’re saying yes to on a daily basis that don’t work for you.

Maybe it’s a call with someone who just isn’t a priority (notice how you’d rather say ‘don’t have time for’).

Maybe it’s agreeing to go to the dinner with friends when what you know you need is a night in.

Start from these small “No” opportunities.

Start to shift your language to focus more on priorities than time. Where you would normally say “I don’t have time for that,” replace the word time with the word priorities. It will feel uncomfortable at first, but you get used to it.

Finally, get comfortable being selfish.

Do one thing every single week that’s only for you.

Schedule it, block it off, and make it a top priority.

Maybe its going to see a movie solo, doing a scotch tasting, catching a sports game, grabbing your camera and going on that photo hike you’ve been dreaming of.

Whatever the activity is, do it consistently and notice how you begin to shift.

Good luck on real challenge of choosing yourself first.

__________

Connor BeatonConnor Beaton  is the founder of ManTalks  — an international organization dedicated to promoting modern men’s growth, purpose, and fulfillment.

ManTalks has grown to cities across North America, with several new communities forming this year.

He is also a podcast host and international speaker, having shared his message on stages around North America including TEDx.

Connor has been featured on platforms like Forbes, HeForShe, The Good Men Project, UN Women, CBC, CNN, the National Post and more.

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Man Of The Week – Benjamin Ritter

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Benjamin Ritter has worked in the fields of public health, interpersonal development, and healthcare for the past 8 years. The last 2 years he has worked as an executive at Presence Saints Mary and Elizabeth Medical Center (PSMEMC), and runs his own consultancy practice focused on interpersonal development, dating and relationships. Ben has cultivated his leadership skills through personal and professional experiences. Through his career working in interpersonal development he has also solidified mentoring, coaching, and teaching techniques towards creating, and sustaining positive behavioral change.

Ben is a man of many talents, from authoring the book The Essentials – your one stop shop to life improvement and success with women, to hosting a live dating and relationship advice show through Dose.com, curating the Interfaith Relationships workshop, the Value Systems workshop, and co-hosting the Suave Lover podcast; featured multiple times as a top podcast in the area of Sexuality on iTunes, and host of the Live for Yourself podcast. He is a freelance writer in the topics of interpersonal development, dating, and relationships for Huffington Post, AskMen, TheGoodMenProject, ManTalks, and Elite Daily, and has been featured as an expert in a variety of other sources. Through his consultancy he has helped countless men and women with their personal development, dating, and relationship issues. He can be reached through his main website at: www.benjamin-ritter.com

Ben will also be speaking at the very first ManTalks Chicago event centred around ‘Mentorship’ on November 7th, 2016. Click here for more details and to RSVP.

Age: 31

What do you do? (Work)
Through workshops, and one on one consulting I lead people towards the change they want to see in themselves in their personal and professional lives.

Why do you do it?
Everyone has the opportunity to be satisfied and fulfilled in their personal and professional lives, but those aren’t courses that are included in school curriculums. Satisfied and fulfilled people create more satisfaction and fulfillment and are more likely to impact the world in a positive way. Improving public health through personal development and social relationships is my passion.

How do you make a difference in the world? (Work, business, life, family, self)
Eventually I would like to do something on a grander scale, even though I have no idea the impact of the personal transformations that I instigate. My background in public health began with the desire to impact public health policy and maybe that is in my future but current I spark and build people into their ideal version of themselves while reframing what “ideal” means, as well as improve their dating lives and relationships. Professionally and personally I also try to bring the values of personal respect, genuine interest, and the desire for others to succeed into every single one of my relationships.

What are 3 defining moments in your life?
1) My first personal heartbreak. The memory of a love lost, and how it affected me personally was an incredible learning experience even at a young age.
2) My first professional heartbreak (losing my purpose), which ultimately led me to reframing my perspective on happiness, success, fulfillment, and dating/relationships.
3) Working a variety of jobs, especially hospitality (construction, dog walking, deli, server, retail, camp counselor, day care, a variety of brand ambassador gigs, modeling, acting, bartending, corporate healthcare, public health departments, and more – less a moment, more an experience). These experiences, especially working in hospitality has unbelievably impacted my character, and understanding of others.

What is your life purpose?
My life purpose is to value each moment and the greatness that can be found within any experience while continuing to spread my appreciation, respect, and genuine interest in the world and the people around me, and hopefully affecting positive social change on the way.

How did you tap into it?
I tapped into my purpose by failing, and having to critically think about purpose and what happiness actually is, and what it represents. Never-ending realism with gratitude helps me consistently tap into my purpose.

Who is your Role-Model or Mentor?
I think that I am a product of a generation, and have specific character traits that make it very difficult for me to have a mentor unless it’s through a structured program such as life-coaching. I am extremely lucky to have such great parents, and specifically I have looked up to the intelligence, compassion, perseverance, social skill and strength that my father has displayed throughout my life.

Do you have any daily habits? If so, what are they?
Practically every day I wake up and review the to-do list I created the night before. I focus on some of the quick ones initially and then move down the list. I also immediately stretch, do ab exercises, and drink about half a gallon of water in the morning. Later in the day I also workout with one day off during the week, which is incredibly helpful for my mind and body. Part of my day is also focusing on my relationships; calling my father and a couple friends.

When do you know your work/life balance is off?
My work/life balance is incredibly important to me and it is rarely off, just out of focus. I tend to get short tempered, frustrated, and sad when I am not living according to my values. That could be my professional or personal life is focused in areas that it should not be.

Vulnerability is a challenge for most men – share a vulnerable moment from your life with us. What did you learn from it?
The moment I lost the purpose I dedicated a large portion of my life towards; despite knowing that it wasn’t right for me, it still is one of the most heart wrenching memories I have. It exemplifies the effect an investment of your mind and body can have on your health and taught me how to properly manage and invest in “your purpose”. Also it’s important to know that emotions are normal, the ups and downs are part of life, feeling them and accepting them allows you to move on and forwards.

If you are or were going to be a mentor for another man, what is one piece of advice you would give him?
There are so many pieces of advice I would want to give. If I had to choose only one, I would explain that there are no standard templates for living and never to allow someone else’s template control and impose on your life.

How do you be the best partner (Boyfriend/Husband- past or present)
Work towards tomorrow. Any fight in the bigger scheme of things is insignificant when you remember that you are going to be together. Your partner almost always has your best interest at heart. Give them the benefit of the doubt.

Do you support any Charities or Not-for-profits? (Which one(s) and why?)
Sports and soccer specifically has always played a huge role in my life. I love the Chicago Fire Foundation for what they provide to the in need and at risk youth of Chicago. I also love what Cease Fire is doing. There are just so many people doing such great things.

If your life had a theme song, what would it be?
Lean on me by Bill Withers

Where do you see yourself in 3 years?
Transforming future and current leaders like I am now but on a grander scale. I hopefully will have written another book by then, and have taken my work in-person to a variety of cities around the world.

What legacy do you want to leave for future generations?
I would like there to be a movement towards institutionalized learning based on facts in regards to personal development, dating, attraction, sexuality, and relationships.

What One book would you recommend for any Man?
Reframing by Richard Bandler and John Grinder

 
If you know a Man that is making a positive impact on the world, we would love to hear from you! Contact us at [email protected]

Man Of The Week – Mike Abramowitz

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Mike Abramowitz is our newest Man Of The Week for his incredible journey in unlocking potential and impacting the lives of hundreds he’s worked with. Today Mike is a District Executive for Vector Marketing and the Founder of G.R.A.B. Tomorrow, which is a life skills development agency for young professionals in the greater Pinellas County area. Since earning his bachelors degree in industrial engineering with a minor in leadership studies from the University of South Florida in 2008, Mike has made a career in helping young professionals open their mindsets to what’s possible when they fully commit to creating a strong foundation for their lives outside of the classroom. Mike has a passion for providing tools, skills, and unlocking potential that’s buried under socio-economic conditions & circumstances, lack of coaching, and fears that aspiring leaders face. He influences his students to understand that “Someday is NOW” and gives strategies to take immediate action and G.R.A.B. tomorrow (Grow, Re-evaluate, Appreciate, Believe).
Age:  31

What do you do? (Work)
I am a District Executive for Vector Marketing and Cutco Cutlery, founder of PB&J for Tampa Bay, which is an effort to feed 25,000 homeless people this year in the Tampa Bay area, and the founder of The G.R.A.B. Community, which is a community where young professionals develop life skills and take control of their lives outside of the classroom in order to GRAB Tomorrow.
Why do you do it?
I have a passion for providing tools, skills, and unlocking potential that’s buried under socio-economic conditions and circumstances, lack of coaching, and fears that aspiring leaders face.  Ive been blessed with abilities that others around me are still searching for. I help them find it.
How do you make a difference in the world? (Work, business, life, family, self)
Since earning my bachelor’s degree in industrial engineering with a minor in leadership studies from the University of South Florida in 2008, I have made a career in helping young professionals open their mindsets to what’s possible when they fully commit to creating a strong foundation for their lives.  I’ve trained and coached 4000+ young professionals to be entrepreneurs and sales representatives.  I’ve interviewed 10,000+ applicants.  As a keynote speaker, I have influenced 20,000+ audience members inside and outside of the classroom through 300+ hours of speaking.  Through PB&J for Tampa Bay, we have provided 25,000+ meals to those less fortunate.
What are 3 defining moments in your life?
 – Witnessing my mother battle with cancer for 4 years and seeing her be strong and weak at the same time. This unlocked an inner strength in myself that I never knew existed.
– Losing my best friend in a fatal car crash when we were both 27 years old because it gave me such an appreciation for living a life versus just being alive.
– Losing my my investment properties and $130,000 during the market collapse and realizing that my self-worth is not tied to my net-worth.
What is your life purpose?
To help those around me unlock their potential, appreciate life, and not be victims to their circumstances regardless of how much adversity that they experience.  The best success stories had some of the toughest challenges.  To help people move past their past and into a future filled with opportunity, possibility, gratitude, and excitement.
How did you tap into it?
By surrounding myself around people who care enough about me to challenge my patterns, thoughts, and habits in order to prove to myself what my life could look like through a different lens.  My potential was buried and those around me helped me unlock it, including perspectives from books and seminars from people that I have never met personally.
Who is your Role-Model or Mentor?
– Mom for her strength and love
– Dad for his kind heart to strangers and ambition
– Michael Jordan for his work ethic and determination through challenges
– Tony Robbins for his wisdom and principles he lives his life by
– Matt King for his constant support, encouragement, and perspectives

Do you have any daily habits? If so, what are they?
A friend of mine, Hal Elrod from the Miracle Morning Community, introduced me to a philosophy called SAVERS, which has been a game changer for the past decade of my life. When I am at my best, I begin my day with the following:
S – Silence/Meditation/Deep Breathing
A – Affirmations/Incantations
V – Vision Board
E – Exercise/Yoga/Stretching/Foam Rolling
R – Read
S – Scribe/Journal through my thoughts/emotions and plans for that day
By giving myself clarity and intention for my day, it allows me to stay present and focused throughout my day.
 When do you know your work/life balance is off?
My work/life balance is always off.  I do not desire balance in my life.  I desire CANI – (Constant And Never-ending Improvement) Balance to me is having an equal distribution of my time dedicated to certain areas. A great book by Matthew Kelly titled Off-Balance helped me become aware of being present with my life and invest time into the people, places, things, and activities that are in alignment with driving long term satisfaction and happiness. So, the key is being present.  When I feel like I am distracted or not present, I will grab my journal and answer the following questions:
– How do I feel?
– Why do I feel this way?
– How do I want to feel?
– What actions can I take to feel this way?
– Then I take some deep breaths and get back to being present.  I choose to control my emotions when I become aware that I am not fully engaged in my life.
 Vulnerability is a challenge for most men – share a vulnerable moment from your life with us.
After my mother passed away, my dad and I took a trip to Hawaii to get quality time together and really connect.  My expectation going into the trip was to help him understand the tension that has been built amongst some family members about him having a girlfriend only 3 months after his wife (my mother) died.  A lot of animosity and discomfort to say the least.  So, my goal was to create some level of resolve and keep the family together.
After a first attempt of bringing this to his attention, I was shut down.  He had a shield over his emotions and would not let me in.  He reacted as if he didn’t care about what others thought and he needed to focus on his sanity, not others.  He began to push me away, as if he didn’t need me in his life either.  At 21 years old, of course this would hurt anyone, but tapping into a very vulnerable place, I made an important point to my dad that would hurt him and elevate our relationship at the same time.
“I need you to be mom and dad right now.” — unsure of where these words came from, but they poured out of my mouth.  “Im not ready to bury my mother, but I had to.  You’re not prepared to be both parents, but I am asking you to.  I need you now more than ever.  I need your encouragement, your emotional support, and your love.  Do not push me away.” — as tears pour down my cheeks.
Although my dad did not receive my request initially, he understood that I was not coming from a place of anger towards him, but from a position of pain, suffering, and trauma.  By him seeing and hearing that I needed him, truly below the surface of conscious emotion, I unlocked the beginning of a relationship with my dad that continues to flourish.  He is my best friend.

 What did you learn from it?
I learned that no matter how painful it is to risk vulnerability by sharing my feelings with someone else, it will always benefit me.  If I don’t communicate my feelings, I might be chasing after something that can never satisfy me.  If my dad neglected or rejected me, I would still need to survive without him and I would not invest my energy into an unwanted space.  By communicating, I can begin to create resolve and build a new, stronger relationship moving forward.

 If you are or were going to be a mentor for another man, what is one piece of advice you would give him?
Live with purpose and gratitude.  Stay focused on what truly brings you passion or aggressively find that and appreciate that journey and the people on it with you.
 How do you be the best partner (Boyfriend/Husband- past or present)
– Admit when I am wrong.
– Apologize when I simply react instead of giving a thought out response.
– Know her Love Language and satisfy that need whenever I see fit.  It will be one of the following: words, touch, time, service, gifts.  My girlfriend’s is words, so I consciously give text messages, leave notes, give compliments, give praise, and appreciate her whenever I can.  Not because I am supposed to and not to manipulate, just simply to make sure she receives love the way she desires to.
– Cuddling.
– Putting the phone away when we are together.
– Ask her about her day before telling about mine.
– Actively Listen.

 Do you support any Charities or Not-for-profits? (Which one(s) and why?)
“PB&J for Tampa Bay” is an effort to feed 25,000 homeless people this year in the Tampa Bay area. We recognize that those less fortunate, who find themselves upon hard times, should never be overlooked or given up on. Life is unpredictable and at any moment the tragedy of an unforeseen circumstance or disaster could leave even the most stable person in a similar situation.
If your life had a theme song, what would it be?
Miley Cyrus – The Climb
Where do you see yourself in 3 years?
Physical – Best shape of my life at 185 pounds, able to do 10 pull ups, 50 push ups, and eliminate my back pain
Financial – 20 streams of income
Career – 10+ books released, international speaker, running a thriving business in the Hall of Fame with my company
Contribution – Expand PB&J for Tampa Bay to USA and have 100+ locations nationwide feeding 600,000+ per year
Mental – read 50+ more books
Adventure – traveled to a few of my dream locations, including an African Safari, South American Jungle Waterfall tour, sky dive (anywhere), ski Whistler
Relationships – married and having my first born, hosted a family reunion, have a dog
What legacy do you want to leave for future generations?
 I want people to be “good-finders” in themselves and in those around them. Everyone deserves to feel good.
In an unjust situation, I want someone to find their inner patience and acceptance. In a thriving situation, I want someone to share with others and spread those vibes.  The pay-it-forward concept will eventually catch up to the local community, into the city, into the state, into the country, and then the world … one person at a time.
What One book would you recommend for any Man?
Daring Greatly by Brene Brown
If you know a Man that is making a positive impact on the world, we would love to hear from you! Contact us at [email protected]

Man Of The Week – Giovanni Marsico

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Our newest Man Of The Week is a Giovanni Marsico, a man of many talents, from a connector of driven entrepreneurs, to an author of his upcoming book titled ‘The Gifted Entrepreneur’. Today, Giovanni is the founder and president of Archangel Academy, a coaching and mastermind organization that shares marketing, innovation and revenue-generating strategies with entrepreneurs that aim to give back to the world. By using the concept of “gifting it forward” Giovanni has created a culture of sharing his gifts with people, and for them to “gift it forward” with the aim of becoming the best version of ourselves, and to positively impact those around us every single day. Giovanni believes each and every one of us has the power to change the world, and he helps make this a reality by instilling the same belief in other Gifted Entrepreneurs. To make this dream a reality, Giovanni sets aside half the profits from Archangel to provide micro loans for entrepreneurs around the world.
If you’re in the Greater Toronto Area on April 18th, you won’t want to miss Giovanni speak live at our first ever ManTalks Toronto event, Pursuit of Purpose. For more details, click here.

Age – 39

What do you do? (Work)
I am a talent scout, curator, and connector of superheroes – mission-driven entrepreneurs and leaders that are creating a positive impact for humanity – through my Archangel community and live events.

Why do you do it?
The work I do is the full expression of my gifts completely aligned with my path, my dreams, and my heart. I have the privilege of serving people I love by doing what I love.

How do you make a difference in the world? (Work, business, life, family, self)
It starts with striving to become a better version of myself every day, and positively impacting the people around me every day. I use the phrase ‘gift it forward’ – I try my best to share my gifts with people in my tribe so that they can share their gifts with people in theirs. The impact becomes exponential.

What are 3 defining moments in your life?
1 – March 4, 1994 – The day I hosted my first ever large-scale event and discovered you could make money doing what you love. We had 1000 people attend.  I was 17 at the time.
2 – March 27, 2008 – I call this the darkest day of my life. My marriage had just failed. A few weeks earlier I had a panic attack so extreme I thought I was having a heart attack and had an ambulance rush me to the hospital. A business venture failed because I couldn’t handle the emotional state I was in. I was in complete depression and contemplated suicide. My son (who was 3 at the time) was my angel. I knew I had to fight for him and since then my life has been on an amazing upswing.
3 – February 1, 2015 – It was a few days after my annual Archangel event and I had an experience that I describe as a ‘bliss attack’ – the emotional opposite of a panic attack. It felt as if I was experiencing every positive emotion at the same time coming through me like a bolt of lightning. It was so powerful I had to pull over my car and burst out with tears of joy. I learned that day that our emotions are like tuning forks. When we’re aligned and on the right path, we experience positive emotions. The stronger the emotion, the more aligned. The same occurs with negative emotions

What is your life purpose?
My life’s mission is something I call ’10 billion smiles’ – by the time there are 10 billion people alive at the same time, I want to have positively impacted all of their lives indirectly by up-leveling the people I impact directly through my work, my message, and my tribe.

How did you tap into it?
I focus each day on making it the best day ever – by sharing my gifts with people I love to bring me closer to my dream and bring them closer to theirs.

Who is your Role-Model or Mentor?
My Role-Model is a fictional character – Charles Xavier/Professor X from the X-Men. Xavier is the leader of the X-Men team of superheroes. His role is to seek out ‘mutants’ – humans with extraordinary abilities – and show them how to use their powers to serve mankind.
In my world the superheroes are entrepreneurs with big hearts who want to create impact.

Do you have any daily habits? If so, what are they?
I have a highly structure daily ritual – it has been one of the biggest keys to my success and growth. I wake up at 5am and start my day with a 20-minute workout that is a blend of high intensity interval training mixed in with dancing in between sets. Immediately after I set intentions and goals for the day, followed by reading time. I use my friend UJ Ramdas’ 5 Minute Journal and my mornings are based on my friend Hal Elrod’s book The Miracle Morning.

I have another ritual that works wonders for me since ideation and dreaming are 2 of my gifts – I call it ‘shower meditations’. I spend 30 minutes in the shower where I actively download ideas in complete flow. Right after the shower I spend time writing down 8-10 ideas in my journal.
For a more high-level view of my rituals, the ‘structure’ is the same on every week day. Mondays and Saturdays are for planning, clean ups, and prep work.  Tuesdays through Thursdays are revenue generating work and relationship building. I take Friday’s off as ‘my day’ for fun, play, and rest. For the past 8 years, I’ve had a ritual to watch a matinee movie on my own every Friday as my form of escape and to fuel my dreaming. And Sunday’s are adventure days with my son.

When do you know your work/life balance is off?
I think it’s always ‘off’ to some degree. My friend Billy Anderson makes me laugh with this topic because no one ever says they need to add more ‘work’ to be balanced.
I’ve structured my days so that I’m highly productive during work time and have plenty of space for play time, connection, and fun.

Vulnerability is a challenge for most men – share a vulnerable moment from your life with us. 
Last summer I attended a retreat in Ireland called BraveSoul run by my friend Philip McKernan. I told Philip that my goal for the experience, using an analogy from The Matrix movie, was to take the ‘red pill’ on my life – to see the subconscious programming that’s been invisible to me up to that point.
There was a point during one of our group discussions that the emotions I’ve been holding onto for decades just all released at once and I cried harder than I ever have before in front of the group. It was cathartic and beautiful.

What did you learn from it?
I learned so much from that trip – including how to tap into my intuition, how to be aligned with my heart and my path, and how to remove all the masks I’ve been wearing to be my true self.
I also discovered that being selfless all my life was the most selfish thing I could do.

If you are or were going to be a mentor for another man, what is one piece of advice you would give him?
Happiness, gratitude, confidence, courage, peace, power, serendipity, luck and love are all skills to master and practice every single day. Seek complete alignment in your work and relationships – your intuition and emotions will always guide you.

How do you be the best partner (Boyfriend/Husband- past or present)
The only way to be the best partner is to be your best self and to love yourself first completely. Become your own soulmate. Find someone who is completely aligned with you in terms of path, dreams, values, beliefs, bliss, and growth trajectory – someone who is their own soulmate. Sharing a common future is more important than sharing a common past.

Do you support any Charities or Not-for-profits? (Which one(s) and why?)
I’ve supported countless charities in the past, and I’ve been the president of a Rotary Club. My view has changed lately. I believe that mission-driven entrepreneurs are the key to social change. I’m working on creating a fund that provides micro-loans, grants, and angel investment to entrepreneurs looking to change the world so that together we can literally make a dent in the universe.

If your life had a theme song, what would it be?
Either Beautiful Day by U2 or Best Day Of My Life by American Authors

Where do you see yourself in 3 years?
In 3 years I am in the best shape of my life. I am in a blissful relationship with the woman of my dreams. I’ve built an incredible team around me that allows me to spend 100% of my time sharing my gifts with the world.

What legacy do you want to leave for future generations?
I want to disrupt the current models of education, business, and philanthropy. I want to help everyone discover alignment in their lives. My dream is to find a way to connect every human on the planet through the common language of love.

What One book would you recommend for any Man?
The Four Agreements By Don Miguel Ruiz

If you know a Man that is making a positive impact on the world, we would love to hear from you! Contact us at [email protected]

Man Of The Week – Jeremy Hendon

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This week, we have the honour of highlighting Jeremy Hendon, an entrepreneur, coach and speaker. Ironically, Jeremy has found a way to balance doing ‘so much’ and ‘so little’ at the same time! Jeremy has a very intriguing perspective on life and how to live it, one very different from many of the men we have featured in the past. That’s not to say he’s wrong though, Jeremy’s logic does make sense and in fact allows you to notice many of life’s subtle little ‘traps’ we fall into, traps that influence our intentions, thoughts and actions. A man who epitomizes living in the present moment, Jeremy believes purpose is not something we pre-define, but a moment we experience. Read on to uncover more of Jeremy’s fresh take on life.

Age: 37

What do you do? (Work)
I do whatever I feel like, and it seems to work out.
My wife and I are entrepreneurs.  We have brands on Amazon, I recently built a plugin, we have websites that sell our books and courses, I do a little consulting/coaching and speaking, and I’m starting to host events.
But most of my time, I travel a lot, I eat a lot, and I talk to a lot of people.  I do some writing, some speaking, some podcasting, and I play a lot of board games.

Why do you do it?
Most often, because it’s what I think will make me happiest.
In my moments of clarity, I do what I do for no reason at all.

How do you make a difference in the world? (Work, business, life, family, self)
By “doing” as little as possible.
I believe we get caught up in “making a difference” only by viewing the world as imperfect.  This is a trap I’ve fallen into for most of my life – trying to make various differences from environmental reform to political change.
I’ve tried to change the world and to improve myself, but neither is necessary. Change will come and it won’t, and both are fine.
In the words of Ramana Maharshi, “The power that created you has created the world as well. If it can take care of you, it can similarly take care of the world also. If God has created the world it is his business to look after it, not yours.”

What are 3 defining moments in your life?
I honestly don’t know how to answer this question.
If it’s 3 moments that define who I want to be, then those three moments are “now”, “now”, and “now.”  If it’s 3 moments that define my perceived shortcomings, I’d probably choose three instances when I flipped out and yelled at customer service representatives.
I don’t know that any moments actually define my life or even give someone a good idea of what it’s like to be me, which is generally how I interpret the question.

What is your life purpose?
Haha…I don’t know.
I like to think my purpose is to be at peace and to play as much as possible.
But I’m excited to find out what the universe actually has in store for me. I don’t believe it’s possible to know in advance what my “purpose” is. I try to let go as much as I can.

How did you tap into it?
I believe that we create – rather than tap into – meaning and purpose. And so long as I can remain aware that all purpose and meaning is created, I can be at peace with whatever I create.

Who is your Role-Model or Mentor?
This changes all the time for me, but one person whom I have admired for a long time is Oprah. She has a lot of compassion and peace in her life for someone so busy and successful.
I have many informal mentors in my life, including some of my friends like Theresa Laurico, Arda Ozdemir, and Philip McKernan.
I also greatly value the contributions of historical figures such as Siddhārtha Gautama (Buddha) and Lao Tze.

Do you have any daily habits? If so, what are they?
Habits have become the new currency of dissatisfaction with the present.
Too often in my life (and I see it in many others), I’ve tried to implement habits in order to change something about my life or to “get somewhere.”
So I do have habits, but I don’t think of them as habits at all.  I meditate every day, write most mornings, and even work with some affirmations almost every day (mostly around peace, bliss, and serendipity).  The difference is that I don’t do these things for any reason other than doing them, and I just happen to do them almost every day.

When do you know your work/life balance is off?
I know when I feel like I should do something rather than just doing it. I don’t really have a distinction between work and life, so that’s the metric I use. Procrastination is usually a pretty good sign.

Vulnerability is a challenge for most men – share a vulnerable moment from your life with us.
My vulnerability is very dependent on circumstances. It might be vulnerable for me to admit how much money I make when I’m around billionaires but not when I’m around people earning minimum wage.
With that in mind, one thing I’ve felt vulnerable about admitting over the last few months is that I often feel unhappiness and despair. These feelings are something I still view as imperfect about myself, particularly in the company of friends who seem to be very happy with and excited about their lives and their businesses.
Like many vulnerabilities, it might not sound like much, since everybody deals with unhappiness and despair to some degree. But admitting as much to many of my friends has been extremely difficult, uncomfortable, and vulnerable.

What did you learn from it?
To welcome and even embrace those emotions.  (I have not fully learned this lesson…lol).

If you are or were going to be a mentor for another man, what is one piece of advice you would give him?
Be as you are.
Ironically and paradoxically, that might take a lot of work (therapy, personal development, meditation, time, etc.). Or it might take none at all. You are not your thoughts, emotions, or body. You can choose to identify with them or not, but you have no control over them.
Always ask yourself, “Who am I?” and keep asking it, until you realize that there is no “I”.

How do you be the best partner (Boyfriend/Husband- past or present)
The indirect answer is this… when I’m present and clear, I don’t try to be the best husband at all.
I attempt to act intuitively, without trying to please or make my wife happier. I find it both empirically incorrect and also egotistical to think that I could make my wife happy.  My actions might trigger mental or emotional patterns in her (as in anyone else), but her happiness is her own.
The caveat to all of this is that I definitely don’t always act or not act from that intuitive place. Also, you’d have to check with my wife about whether any of this makes me a better husband or not.  ☺

Do you support any Charities or Not-for-profits? (Which one(s) and why?)
I really like DonorsChoose.org. I love teaching, I love kids, and I love the platform of being able to choose projects to support.

If your life had a theme song, what would it be?
Let it Go (theme song from Frozen).

Where do you see yourself in 3 years?
In the Present.

What legacy do you want to leave for future generations?
An awareness that we don’t need to grow, change, or improve.  That peace and bliss are possible, but only through complete acceptance of ourselves and our world as it is.
But then again, maybe future generations will have technology that makes peace and bliss automatic.

What One book would you recommend for any Man?
Two books I recommend right now…
– The Power of Myth by Joseph Campbell
– Love Walked In by Marisa de los Santos

If you know a Man that is making a positive impact on the world, we would love to hear from you! Contact us at [email protected]

Man Of The Week – Louka Parry

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Nelson Mandela once said, “Education is the most powerful weapon which you can use to change the world.” Our newest Man Of The Week is Louka Parry and he couldn’t agree more! Louka is a Director of Programs for Education Changemakers, and he saw an opportunity in leveraging education as a tool to combat societal issues, scarcities and inequalities. Louka noticed the importance of education and the positive impact it can have in empowering somebody to live a fulfilled life of purpose and passion. His dedication to impacting the education of every young person in the world, regardless of their location, is both admirable yet necessary. To get involved, be sure to check out Education Changemakers and some of the other noble causes Louka supports.
Age: 31
What do you do?
I’m now an adult educator, working to unleash teacher-led innovation and leadership. As the Director of Programs for Education Changemakers, a BCorp, we work to enable teachers to lead positive change in their schools to make sure young people have an education worth having.
Why do you do it?
I teach because I want to see a better world, one where every person can achieve their own sense of greatness. It’s clear that we need to move from a world of scarcity to one of abundance and I see education as the key lever for social change. I’m also lucky to spend time with amazing people everyday, be they passionate teachers and leaders or my wonderful colleagues. It’s hard to underplay the importance of a great team culture to do great work.
How do you make a difference in the world? (Work, business, life, family, self)
I try to live deliberately and inspire others to lead positive, fulfilling lives where they find their purpose and use their passion to follow it. I’m incredibly lucky to support teachers from a diverse range of settings to be innovative and to use their leadership gifts to serve others. In life, I try to be the best version of myself as a positive energiser and an optimist.
What are 3 defining moments in your life?
– Firstly, the day my Papou (my Greek Grandfather) died in 2001. I was 16 and it was the first significant grief I had experienced and I realized I didn’t truly know him or much about my ancestry as the first Australian born from two immigrant families. He was too proud to speak broken English and I spoke no Greek. That moment unleashed a passion for history and linguistics and five languages later, I’m still on a relentless quest to be a hyperpolyglot.
– Second, was a lecture at university that spoke about teaching in remote communities in Central Australia. That lecture forever changed my life trajectory and 12 months later, I found myself being my teaching career in the great Australian outback. It’s also where I met Jess, a fellow teacher, who is now my long-term partner.
– Third, was the day I became a school principal. I was 27 and it was to be a test of my leadership nous, but it was rewarding work and having a committed, positive team of both Aboriginal and non-aboriginal educators made all the difference to both me and the students.
What is your life purpose?
It is said in life that you make a living by what you get, but you make a life by what you give. I hope to give my best, most authentic self to the world and know with satisfaction that I’ve made a difference. I hope to collect as many profound learning experiences as possible, which is one reason I love to travel, and make a positive dent on this planet while I’m fortunate enough to be here.
How did you tap into it?
I chose teaching because I wanted to help others. Education is a social leveller and anyone can experience success if given the right support. I’m a strong believer in egalitarian ideals and meritocracy and wanted to work in service of them. After all, teaching is the profession that creates all others.
Who is your Role-Model or Mentor?
I take my inspiration from many people around me and try to use their passion to spark my own. My role-model is my Yaiyai (Greek Grandma) who died a year ago. She had incredible resilience, strength, selflessness and so much love for others. I learnt so much from her and am grateful for the sacrifice she and others made so that I could have the opportunities I’ve had in Australia. Family is really important to me and I do my best to make them proud.
Do you have any daily habits? If so, what are they?
I meditate for 20 minutes, take a run or do yoga, read, listen to Spotify and connect with friends and ideas online. I also try do at least one thing that scares me and one random act of kindness, no matter how small. If the world need more of something, it’s kindness.
When do you know your work/life balance is off?
I’m incredibly privileged to do what I love so I like to think of this balance more as life/work integration. But when I find my normal positive self becoming cynical, impatient and frustrated, I know it’s time for rebalance, especially a bit of a digital detox (I’m as addicted to technology as most people nowadays).
Vulnerability is a challenge for most men – share a vulnerable moment from your life with us. 
The moment my parents separated. It was late in my life as I was 27 but it was completely unexpected, it totally challenged my concept of marriage as a life-long commitment, something I’m still working through. Thankfully, both my parents are happier now with partners who truly fulfil them.
What did you learn from it?
That life is never linear, ignoring authenticity is never promising and honesty is always the best position. If you are not happy, you need to change something. Life is too short for anything else.
If you are or were going to be a mentor for another man, what is one piece of advice you would give him?
I know it sounds morbid but I would ask him about his death. How would he like to have impacted the world? What would he want the eulogy to be about? And how close is he from achieving these things now? I personally find this strategy helps me to realise that my day-to-day worries don’t actually amount to much, and this forces me to make sure that I’m taking advantage of every opportunity to learn, grow and be my authentic self. Our energy is precious and we need to stick with the things that really matter.
How do you be the best partner (Boyfriend/Husband- past or present)
Be kind, forgiving and a clear communicator. My partner and I live between two states, so we connect daily and see each other every other week. She’s very driven running a preschool and I’m immensely proud of her. I also try to practice self-care and mediation to be the best version of myself I can be when we are spending time together. In this information saturated world, it’s as important to tend the mind as hit the gym.
Do you support any Charities or Not-for-profits? (Which one(s) and why?)
Amnesty International, Oxfam and YGAP. I find work of Y-GAP and Spark* particularly extraordinary as they support early stage social entrepreneurs in Africa, Asia and Australia. To date their program has helped improve the lives of over 100,000 people living in extreme poverty. I routinely get involved in their campaigns, like Polishedman. Definitely check them out.
If your life had a theme song, what would it be?
During the day: Watching You Breathe by Jacoo (mainly for the epic Alan Watts sample)
After dark: Daft Punk by Pentatonix (love a good acapella medley)
Where do you see yourself in 3 years?
A wiser yet relentlessly inquisitive man, still teaching and supporting others to make positive impact. Possibly undertaking a Ph.D, in great shape, beginning a family and enjoying the challenges of this crazy life.
What legacy do you want to leave for future generations?
I’d like to have inspired the people I’ve come across to live more fulfilled lives, and ultimately to work toward a world where everyone can flourish. To have contributed to the creation of a meaningful, relevant and inspiring education for every young person, no matter their location or background.
What One book would you recommend for any Man?
Linchpin by Seth Godin. Epic read.
If you know a Man that is making a positive impact on the world, we would love to hear from you! Contact us at [email protected]
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Man Of The Week – Graham Young

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Our Man Of The Week is an inspired young man who had to endure a series of health issues and the passing of his mother to uncover his true purpose, and to his surprise, once he discovered this, his passion in living out his purpose gave him the strength to overcome the hurdles. Graham Young was sick and tired of receiving the same impractical advise of the self-help industry, so he decided to be the change the industry needed by creating ‘Disruptive Performance Coaching’, a practical and science-based approach to helping people discover their purpose and breaking limiting thoughts and beliefs. Using this approach, Graham hopes to enable people to live a life where they are at peace, have control over the direction of their lives, and are able to create the change one would like to see in their life. Graham is able to give people the confidence, tools and comfort of knowing that they can handle any challenge life throws at them.
Age: 31
What do you do? (Work)
I am a Disruptive Performance Strategist and Founder of Graham Young Strategies, an innovative coaching consultancy.
I identify and disrupt the underlying, often unknown thought patterns that hold people back in their lives and careers. When coaching an individual, I use a practical, science based approach to help them discover their purpose and bring them to new levels of confidence and self-reliance. When working with organizations I elevate the engagement, happiness and performance of their employees.
Why do you do it?
I do this to give people full control over their lives. So they have the power to change any aspect of their life immediately. I think feeling stuck is one of the most frustrating things we experience as humans. Knowing that we need to change something about ourselves, our career or in our life; but having no idea how to make it happen. It can cause us to feel like we have little control over our thoughts, feelings and the actions they produce.
I do this to give people the confidence, tools and peace of mind knowing they can handle any challenge they face. So they never have to feel hopeless or lost when difficulties arise and so they can accomplish any goal they want to achieve in life.
I also do this to bridge the gaps between science, self-help and business. To provide a simple, practical and science based approach to personal and career development. So that people do not have to get confused by the overabundance of opinions on how to better their life. To cut through the noise and provide a framework that produces quick and long-lasting results.
In the end I hope each person I work with is able to positively influence other people in their life and in the world.
How do you make a difference in the world? (Work, business, life, family, self)
The source of making a difference in the world, I believe is in the mind of each person. So I’m fortunate to work with people on a very personal level to help them live a happier, fulfilled and more contributing life.
What are 3 defining moments in your life?

  • My Mother passing away from cancer
  • My business mentor passing away
  • When I found my purpose in life

What is your life purpose?
Much of what I answered in answer 3 describes my purpose. In a nutshell it is to simplify the human mind so people can be at peace with themselves, control their lives and create the change they need to achieve what they desire.
How did you tap into it?
It’s been something that has evolved over my life, but was accelerated after the passing of my Mom. Throughout her illness, I was able to use the knowledge that I had been learning from reading psychology and personal development books. It made such a positive impact on me and the people in my life, that I wanted to share it to help others. I began writing my blog on the anniversary of her passing and by putting my thoughts together, I slowly realized that this is what I loved to do.
Who is your Role-Model or Mentor?
My Dad has always been my biggest role model. I’ve been fortunate to have a Father who always put his family first, who defines integrity and who was successful in business. He always supported my career decisions even if they were a bit unorthodox and always believed in me with all of my ventures.
Do you have any daily habits? If so, what are they?
I have a warm cup of lemon water first thing in the morning as it provides energy and aids in digestion. I also have a morning routine that I use to get me focused and motivated to take on the day.
When do you know your work/life balance is off?
When I’m going to bed late and getting up early. When I don’t leave enough time to read before bed.
Vulnerability is a challenge for most men – share a vulnerable moment from your life with us.
Not long ago I had a number of health issues affect me all at once. They caused me to feel very tired, groggy and dizzy everyday. I also was unable to exercise for over a year and had to take some time off work. It felt like things were falling apart around me and made me feel vulnerable to circumstance.
What did you learn from it?
That if you have a passion or purpose in life, you can literally get through anything. This passion to share my knowledge and help people, was like a light at the end of the tunnel. Despite the difficulties in my life at the time, I still have this clarity and direction in where I was going. It motivated and inspired me everyday.
If you are or were going to be a mentor for another man, what is one piece of advice you would give him?
To focus on feeling content, happy, successful and confident now, as opposed to later. We often get stuck telling ourselves that something needs to happen or be accomplished in order for us to feel successful or happy. A common saying is ‘life will be great when …X… happens’. But we often go through life in this lacking state, never letting ourselves appreciate the things we’ve done.
How do you be the best partner (Boyfriend/Husband- past or present)
I think empathy is key. The better you can get at putting yourself in your partners shoes, the more you understand them and their opinions and it helps you approach conflict focused on creating a solution.
Do you support any Charities or Not-for-profits? (Which one(s) and why?)
Two years ago I created the Vancouver Basket Brigade which is based off of Tony Robbin’s International Basket Brigade. My friends and I find families in need, and deliver baskets full of clothes, food and household items.
I sit on the board of CLICK (Contributing to Lives of Inner City Kids) and support the BC Children’s Hospital. I focus a lot of my giving on kids because I love children and it kills me to think of them suffering. If we can get them through a tough time, they have their whole life ahead of them.
If your life had a theme song, what would it be?
That’s tough, it’d be cool if it were Eminem – Lose Yourself.
Where do you see yourself in 3 years?
More of my business being on the road and speaking across North America.
What legacy do you want to leave for future generations?
I’d like to refine my methodology and make it accessible to everyone in the world regardless of your location, age or income. I’m not sure if it would be delivered via software or online classes, but somehow deliver personal coaching to people who can’t afford it.
What One book would you recommend for any Man?
How to win friends and influence people. – Dale Carnegie
 
If you know a Man that is making a positive impact on the world, we would love to hear from you! Contact us at [email protected]

Man Of The Week – Light Watkins

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Trust is one of the most critical, yet fragile, facets in every relationship we have. It can often be the deciding factor that determines how relationships unfold and how much we choose to invest. This weeks Man Of The Week, Light Watkins, learned this lesson from the very young age of seven, when he felt heavy discouragement because his coach did not trust him.
Today, Light is a meditation expert, a published author, blogger and TEDx speaker that teaches meditation as a way to trigger happiness, one that is rooted in the trust and love we have for ourselves. He has personally taught over 2,000 people to meditate and is currently inviting people to join him on a meditation retreat in Costa Rica New Years 2016, or learn meditation in LA, NYC and Chicago

Age: 42

What do you do?
I’m an author, teacher, and founder of The Shine Movement.
Why do you do it?
When I was 29, I made a vow to follow my heart relentlessly. I knew that if I could do that, all of my other needs would be met.
How do you make a difference in the world?
I feel that it’s my responsibility to have blind trust in life — and in the moments when I’m able to do that, everything and everyone that I come into contact with benefits.
What are 3 defining moments in your life?
1) When I was 7, my little league baseball coach instructed me not to swing, because he was afraid I would strike out. That experience taught me what discouragement feels like, and I vowed to never be that person who discourages people from taking a chance.
2) Discovering the Conversation with God books when I was 26 — it was my gateway into becoming a spiritual seeker.
3) Meeting my meditation teacher when I was 29.
What is your life purpose?
To continue following my heart and trusting in life.
How did you tap into it?
I believe it’s inherent within each of us. What I’ve found is that daily meditation refines my ability to detect heart messages with greater accuracy.
Who is your Role-Model or Mentor?
My father, an attorney, is my role model. He’s always been a hard worker, sharp as a whip, and one of the most insightful people I’ve ever met. He’s never lost a case.
Do you have any daily habits? If so, what are they?
Daily meditation. Exercise. Laughing.
When do you know your work/life balance is off?
When I’m reluctant to receive — it means I haven’t been giving enough.
Vulnerability is a challenge for most men – share a vulnerable moment from your life with us.
The process of accepting a new name, “Light,” and deciding to go through with changing it ten years ago.
What did you learn from it?
I learned that Westerners are the only culture to keep the name they were given at birth, and I received further confirmation that when you follow through with what’s in your heart, you always end up in a better position than you imagined for yourself.
If you are or were going to be a mentor for another man, what is one piece of advice you would give him?
Always leave a situation or relationship better than you found it, including your own body and life.
How do you be the best partner (Boyfriend/Husband- past or present)
When the going gets tough, remember that women communicate very differently from men (and often have different priorities as well), so instead of resisting those differences, learn to appreciate and honor them.
Do you support any Charities or Not-for-profits? (Which one(s) and why?)
I started The Shine Movement in Los Angeles as a community of micro-philanthropy. In other words, inspire a lot of people to use what they have now to make a difference on a local level.
If your life had a theme song, what would it be?
Bobby McFerrin – Don’t Worry Be Happy
Where do you see yourself in 3 years?
Still teaching and writing, and hopefully being a father
What legacy do you want to leave for future generations?
The truth about happiness — that it comes from within
What One book would you recommend for any Man?
My book, The Inner Gym: A 30-Day Workout for Strengthening Happiness. It’s a practical how-to guide for anyone who wants to stabilize happiness from the inside-out.
 
If you know a Man that is making a positive impact on the world, we would love to hear from you! Contact us at [email protected]

Man Of The Week – Andrew Horn

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A life of service and gratitude is one of the most fulfilling pleasures one can experience, believes Andrew Horn. This belief coupled with numerous other accomplishments that make Andrew Horn our Man Of The Week! From making compassionate decisions in his personal relationships to founding his first NGO, ‘Dream for Kids DC’, Andrew is a man of many talents and passions, all of which are tied to giving back to society and making the world a better place for future generations. Today, Andrew lives his life to serve as an example to inspire others to share their appreciation and gratitude, to lead to more meaningful and enriching relationships.

  1. Age: 29
  2. What you do you do? (Work)
    Social Entrepreneur, current the Founder/CEO of Tribute.co
  3. Why do you do it?
    We get to help people share their gratitude and appreciation with the people they care about.
  4. How do you make a difference in the world? (Work, business, life, family, self)
    In business, I try to make a difference in the world by building organizations that have a sustainable impact on improving the lives of other. In my personal relationships, I try to lead with compassion and give people a platform to be truly seen, heard and supported the way they’d like to be.
  5. What are 3 defining moments in your life?
    1. Realizing the difference between pleasure and happiness
    2. Starting my first NGO Dreams For Kids DC with no idea what I was doing.
    3. Meeting my soul mate and marrying her three days later at Burning Man
  6. What is your life purpose?
    To live an integrous lifestyle, to be a servant to the people and causes I believe in, and to magnify love and gratitude in the world.
  7. How did you tap into it?
    I realized that helping others is the most effective way to find fulfillment and have grounded my actions and career choices in service ever since.
  8. Who is your Role-Model or Mentor?
    I am fortunate to have a community of friends called the Boom-Spiral and they are my collective role models. I learn and grow from our relationships constantly and am beyond grateful to have found/built such a strong community.
  9. Do you have any daily habits? If so, what are they?
    1. Don’t check phone immediately after waking up
    2. Put all of my team’s tasks into asana to start the day
    3. Try and be better than I was yesterday
  10. When do you know your work/life balance is off?
    I know my work-life balance is off when my energy doing the things I enjoy starts to lag lower than I’d like it to.
  11. Vulnerability is a challenge for most men – share a vulnerable moment from your life with us.
    My girlfriend Miki is the first real woman I have ever been with. She called for a man than I had to offer early on in our relationship.
    One of the arenas where I was lacking was sexual presence and technique.
    It soon became evident that one of the reasons I lacked this presence was because of an unhealthy porn habit.
    After almost a year and a half, I was finally able to subdue my porn habit and grounded myself in a constantly evolving, exciting sex life with my partner Miki.
  12. What did you learn from it?
    1. It is important to define the relationships that you want with pornography.
    2. Sexual polarity is essential if you want to maintain an element of desire in your relationship
    3. Great relationships take work, but you just need to believe in what you are building or working towards as an individual and union.
  13. If you are or were going to be a mentor for another man, what is one piece of advice you would give him?
    I would ask him to define why he wants what he wants, to help him articulate goals and understand his deepest desires.
    In understanding our internal drivers, we are most capable of obtaining happiness in the present, while engaged in a pursuit of something grander.
  14. How do you be the best partner (Boyfriend/Husband- past or present)
    1. Celebrate your partner’s victories with reckless abandon. This is the easiest way to make them feel supported.
    2. When you have something nice to say, share it. Telling the people we love why we love them is one of the easiest ways to establish deep connectivity.
    3. Realize that helping others is one of the easiest ways to add depth to any relationship. Find joy in serving those you care about.
  15. Do you support any Charities or Not-for-profits? (Which one(s) and why?)
    I am on the board of the two non-profits that I previously founded. www.dreamsforkidsdc.org and www.abilitylist.org.
  16. If your life had a theme song, what would it be?
    All I want for Christmas is you by Mariah Carey. That song is hilarious and awesome literally whenever you play it.
  17. Where do you see yourself in 3 years?
    Married to the woman of my dreams with a kid and one on the way. Living between NYC and Costa Rica. Surfing at least 50 days of the year.
    Running a successful company with 50 employees and building the “hallmark of the digital age.”
  18. What legacy do you want to leave for future generations?
    I want to leave the world with a newfound understanding and appreciation for the power of gratitude and service.
    If my life can serve as an example that inspires others to help each other and share their gratitude more openly, I think I will be able to magnify great relationships around the globe and that is a lasting impact that I would be very proud of.
  19. What One book would you recommend for any Man?
    The Way of the Superior Man by David Deida – This book has been shared around by all of the great mean in my life. It provides young men with a framework to aid in the articulation of personal purpose, and provides some essential truths about what it takes to exist in a desire filled romantic relationship.

 
If you know a Man that is making a positive impact on the world, we would love to hear from you! Contact us at [email protected]

Choosing Happiness – How My Darkest Moments Made Me Who I Am Today

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My darkest day began quite abruptly on a cold February morning at my home in beautiful Whistler, BC, just after Valentine’s day. I was picked up out of my bed by my shirt, thrown across my room and repeatedly punched in the stomach while being screamed at by my infuriated assailant! (Not the best way to start your day.) He was actually one of my roommates (there were 6 of us in a massive house at the time) and while this may seem crazy, it wasn’t really that out of line, as the night before, during a rather crazy house party that we had, I had slept with his girlfriend. Whoops. Needless to say, a little cocaine mixed with copious amounts of alcohol can lead to bad decisions.
To make matters worse, within the previous week, I had done the same to another friend too. That one was with a friend’s ex, but it was a recent ex and he wanted to get back together with her.
The previous summer I worked hard so that I could take the winter off of work and devote my time to skiing and pursuing my dream of becoming a professional skier! I was working out at the gym. Skiing every day and trying to learn new tricks and get better so that I could do more filming, get more sponsors, and hopefully start to get paid to do what I loved!
Early in the season, while tree skiing one beautiful powder day in January, I caught the tip of my ski on a tree stump buried beneath the snow that I couldn’t see. My body kept moving forward, but the tip of my ski stayed in the same place. My ankle and leg were wrenched fiercely out to the side and I was flipped onto my back. You’d think that while contained in a big solid ski boot your ankle would be pretty safe, but despite this, I managed to badly tear a few ligaments in my ankle which resulted in my season being cut very short!
Since I had set myself up to not have to work that winter, I still had money coming in, but without being able to pursue my passion, or walk for that matter, my days were quite depressing. This was before I knew everything I now know about nutrition and exercise and I basically just sat around every day playing internet poker and slipping deeper and deeper into depression.
There was one day in particular that will be forever burned into my mind, where I spent the entire day sitting at the kitchen table, playing online poker, and watching over 16 inches (40cm) of snow accumulate on the railing of our deck in front of my eyes. If I were able to go out and enjoy this snow, I would have been incredibly happy! Instead, thinking about what I was missing out on, and about having to crutch through it if I were brave enough to leave the house, it was one of the more depressing days I’ve ever experienced.
Fast forward back to me being my roommate’s punching bag. After he had finished with me, he left me there lying on the floor, beaten and broken (literally). I crawled into my closet, shut the sliding door and started crying. It was by far the darkest and most disgusting moment of my entire life. I had just completely destroyed two friendships, my dreams of becoming a professional skier were fading by the day, I had alienated myself from my entire friend group, and to top it off, I was suffering from the blinding self-hatred that typically comes with a cocaine hangover.
So what did I do? Did I do the mature thing? Man up and approach my roommate and deal with all the problems I’ve created? Of course not. I was an extremely depressed, hungover, beaten, broken 21-year-old and I did what I’m sure many people in my shoes would’ve done … I ran.
Eyes swollen from crying so much, I hobbled around and packed up my stuff and left that very morning! I caught a taxi into town and hopped on a bus to Vernon, BC where I had a couple friends that were outside of the group I’d just alienated myself from. I spent the next few weeks battling the fiercest depression I’ve ever experienced. Everything sucked. I hated myself. I didn’t want to go on…
I don’t know specifically what shifted or why, but at some point a few weeks after the original incident, a thought came into my head. The thought was that if I was ever going to be happy again, I needed to forgive myself and choose to be happy. I needed to start focusing on the positive and deal with my current situation. I realized that my roommate wasn’t going to forgive me, but that didn’t have to mean that I couldn’t forgive myself. I’m not saying that it was just a poof, all of a sudden I was an excited and happy person again, but once I started to forgive myself and choose to be happy things slowly did get brighter.
After another month of building myself back up, I went back to Whistler to clean up the mess I’d made of my life. I slowly dealt with everything and started to put my life back together.
While this event was an incredibly dark and painful time in my life, I am very grateful for having experienced it. For it was this experience that taught me that happiness truly is something one has to find within, and even in the worst of times, it is possible to do so. This idea of choosing happiness has stayed with me ever since and was one of the most powerful lessons I’ve learned in my life!
Thank you so much for taking the time to dive into a little piece of what made me who I am today.
Namaste

headshot-Jan-2015

“When I was 5 years old, my mother always told me that happiness was the key to life. When I went to school, they asked what I wanted to be wen I grew up. I wrote down “happy.” They told me I didn’t understand the assignment. I told them they didn’t understand life.” – John Lennon

That is the foundation of Dave Weale’s beliefs and what he teaches all of his clients. Dave is a happiness coach. His clients end up being able to free up their time so they are able to focus on pursuing their passions and truly live a life they love!

He does this by teaching about mindfulness and meditation and works with people to help improve their Health, Wealth, Love and Trust. He helps people reach peak health, make more money, create more love in their lives, and trust that we are all in this together and that everything is working out perfectly!

Connect with Dave on his website, Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, LinkedIn, Hypem, and Pinterest

 

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