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Man Of The Week – Benjamin Ritter

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Benjamin Ritter has worked in the fields of public health, interpersonal development, and healthcare for the past 8 years. The last 2 years he has worked as an executive at Presence Saints Mary and Elizabeth Medical Center (PSMEMC), and runs his own consultancy practice focused on interpersonal development, dating and relationships. Ben has cultivated his leadership skills through personal and professional experiences. Through his career working in interpersonal development he has also solidified mentoring, coaching, and teaching techniques towards creating, and sustaining positive behavioral change.

Ben is a man of many talents, from authoring the book The Essentials – your one stop shop to life improvement and success with women, to hosting a live dating and relationship advice show through Dose.com, curating the Interfaith Relationships workshop, the Value Systems workshop, and co-hosting the Suave Lover podcast; featured multiple times as a top podcast in the area of Sexuality on iTunes, and host of the Live for Yourself podcast. He is a freelance writer in the topics of interpersonal development, dating, and relationships for Huffington Post, AskMen, TheGoodMenProject, ManTalks, and Elite Daily, and has been featured as an expert in a variety of other sources. Through his consultancy he has helped countless men and women with their personal development, dating, and relationship issues. He can be reached through his main website at: www.benjamin-ritter.com

Ben will also be speaking at the very first ManTalks Chicago event centred around ‘Mentorship’ on November 7th, 2016. Click here for more details and to RSVP.

Age: 31

What do you do? (Work)
Through workshops, and one on one consulting I lead people towards the change they want to see in themselves in their personal and professional lives.

Why do you do it?
Everyone has the opportunity to be satisfied and fulfilled in their personal and professional lives, but those aren’t courses that are included in school curriculums. Satisfied and fulfilled people create more satisfaction and fulfillment and are more likely to impact the world in a positive way. Improving public health through personal development and social relationships is my passion.

How do you make a difference in the world? (Work, business, life, family, self)
Eventually I would like to do something on a grander scale, even though I have no idea the impact of the personal transformations that I instigate. My background in public health began with the desire to impact public health policy and maybe that is in my future but current I spark and build people into their ideal version of themselves while reframing what “ideal” means, as well as improve their dating lives and relationships. Professionally and personally I also try to bring the values of personal respect, genuine interest, and the desire for others to succeed into every single one of my relationships.

What are 3 defining moments in your life?
1) My first personal heartbreak. The memory of a love lost, and how it affected me personally was an incredible learning experience even at a young age.
2) My first professional heartbreak (losing my purpose), which ultimately led me to reframing my perspective on happiness, success, fulfillment, and dating/relationships.
3) Working a variety of jobs, especially hospitality (construction, dog walking, deli, server, retail, camp counselor, day care, a variety of brand ambassador gigs, modeling, acting, bartending, corporate healthcare, public health departments, and more – less a moment, more an experience). These experiences, especially working in hospitality has unbelievably impacted my character, and understanding of others.

What is your life purpose?
My life purpose is to value each moment and the greatness that can be found within any experience while continuing to spread my appreciation, respect, and genuine interest in the world and the people around me, and hopefully affecting positive social change on the way.

How did you tap into it?
I tapped into my purpose by failing, and having to critically think about purpose and what happiness actually is, and what it represents. Never-ending realism with gratitude helps me consistently tap into my purpose.

Who is your Role-Model or Mentor?
I think that I am a product of a generation, and have specific character traits that make it very difficult for me to have a mentor unless it’s through a structured program such as life-coaching. I am extremely lucky to have such great parents, and specifically I have looked up to the intelligence, compassion, perseverance, social skill and strength that my father has displayed throughout my life.

Do you have any daily habits? If so, what are they?
Practically every day I wake up and review the to-do list I created the night before. I focus on some of the quick ones initially and then move down the list. I also immediately stretch, do ab exercises, and drink about half a gallon of water in the morning. Later in the day I also workout with one day off during the week, which is incredibly helpful for my mind and body. Part of my day is also focusing on my relationships; calling my father and a couple friends.

When do you know your work/life balance is off?
My work/life balance is incredibly important to me and it is rarely off, just out of focus. I tend to get short tempered, frustrated, and sad when I am not living according to my values. That could be my professional or personal life is focused in areas that it should not be.

Vulnerability is a challenge for most men – share a vulnerable moment from your life with us. What did you learn from it?
The moment I lost the purpose I dedicated a large portion of my life towards; despite knowing that it wasn’t right for me, it still is one of the most heart wrenching memories I have. It exemplifies the effect an investment of your mind and body can have on your health and taught me how to properly manage and invest in “your purpose”. Also it’s important to know that emotions are normal, the ups and downs are part of life, feeling them and accepting them allows you to move on and forwards.

If you are or were going to be a mentor for another man, what is one piece of advice you would give him?
There are so many pieces of advice I would want to give. If I had to choose only one, I would explain that there are no standard templates for living and never to allow someone else’s template control and impose on your life.

How do you be the best partner (Boyfriend/Husband- past or present)
Work towards tomorrow. Any fight in the bigger scheme of things is insignificant when you remember that you are going to be together. Your partner almost always has your best interest at heart. Give them the benefit of the doubt.

Do you support any Charities or Not-for-profits? (Which one(s) and why?)
Sports and soccer specifically has always played a huge role in my life. I love the Chicago Fire Foundation for what they provide to the in need and at risk youth of Chicago. I also love what Cease Fire is doing. There are just so many people doing such great things.

If your life had a theme song, what would it be?
Lean on me by Bill Withers

Where do you see yourself in 3 years?
Transforming future and current leaders like I am now but on a grander scale. I hopefully will have written another book by then, and have taken my work in-person to a variety of cities around the world.

What legacy do you want to leave for future generations?
I would like there to be a movement towards institutionalized learning based on facts in regards to personal development, dating, attraction, sexuality, and relationships.

What One book would you recommend for any Man?
Reframing by Richard Bandler and John Grinder

 
If you know a Man that is making a positive impact on the world, we would love to hear from you! Contact us at [email protected]

Man Of The Week – Jeff Perera

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For over eight years, Jeff Perera has been working to help inspire new models of possibility for manhood: having spoken to men, young men and boys across Canada and beyond on how we can strive toward change within, and be part of nurturing healthier ideas of manhood where we work, live, study, worship and play. Today, Jeff is a Speaker and Facilitator with Next Gen Men, who work with young men and boys, as well as engage and educate men around conversations of toxic versus mindful masculinities. He has delivered two TEDx talks: ‘Words Speak Louder that Actions’ and ‘The Ladder of Manhood’. If that wasn’t enough, Jeff also writes over at Higher Unlearning, exploring how limiting ideas of gender impact men in everyday life. Jeff shares some poetic and inspiring words in his interview and ManTalks is honoured to have Jeff Perera as our newest Man Of The Week!

Age: 41 (but don’t look it! Being brown don’t let ya down!)

What do you do? (Work)
I am a Speaker and Facilitator with Next Gen Men. I’ve spoken to tens of thousands of young men, boys and men across Canada and abroad, for eight years, about our ideas of manhood and new models of possibility for men.

Why do you do it?
I realized years ago that how many of us answer the question of what it means to be a man, is at the core of so many of the challenges, issues and struggles that people of all genders face. Traditions and concepts of what manhood is or isn’t, impact everything; from our lives at home or work, or where we study or worship, as well as our relationship with the environment, our true self, and with each other. As men, working to give ourselves the freedom to be our best self, in turn helps nurture the world we want to live in,

How do you make a difference in the world? (Work, business, life, family, self)
What I have learned again and again is: The way forward begins with us, within us. There are many men who want to explore living a more full, meaningful, heartfelt life; embracing vulnerability and fear, and not facing it all alone. I look to help men open their heart’s eye and strive to see the invisible: how these toxic ideas of manhood are both the rope used to section off people of other genders in everyday life, as well as the chain holding men back from our whole humanity. My hope is to help inspire others to genuinely begin their journey from head to heart, and from heart to action: showing up in their own lives, and the lives of others. My role is to help convey to men and boys that change must be ongoing within us, but that you are not alone and that we can take this journey together.

What are 3 defining moments in your life?
– The day I realized the person I wanted to be: as a little child witnessing my father (who was a violent tyrant at home) back down and hide in his car from a drunk man who wanted to fight him.
– The day I saw my father’s dead body.
– A quiet moment when I decided to leave a 9-5 job because I wanted to own the impact I make, and what those waves to continue to be after I’ve left this world.

What is your life purpose?
I want to be the lesson in action, and inspire others to try as well. I want to hold a mirror up for others, so we learn to truly see our role in everyday situations. That starts with role modelling the process and looking in that mirror ourselves. I want to be a gentle voice inviting you into this conversation, but also push and provoke you: make you comfortable with discomfort (that place where our real inner growth happens.)

How did you tap into it?
Too many men have a void in their lives: not having emotionally present models and mentors. I call these models of possibility ‘Maps to Manhood’, someone who you can talk to or just learn from by seeing how they navigate life. I decided to aspire to be the example I was looking for, fill the void for myself and others. That process has brought into my life amazing men from whom I learn from and unlearn with.

Who is your Role-Model or Mentor?
Muhammad Ali. We can learn from anyone and everyone (and need to always listen for the lesson) but the life he lived was his message to us. Ali was the voice telling us to get back up, to stand up. Ali taught us to answer the bell, rise up, and get into the ‘Ring of our own Life’. He said: “True success is reaching our potential without compromising our values.” He demonstrated the will to work and work, battle yourself and all circumstances in order to achieve your goals, and be ready to sacrifice it all for what matters. I strive to be half the man he was.

Do you have any daily habits? If so, what are they?
I mentioned mirrors earlier, I take a moment to look in the mirror every day. It is my reminder to not just see my physical self, but my entire self. To be present and mindful in each moment as much as I can be, and try harder than that, in order to own everything I’ve done and didn’t do. I want to focus not the impression I leave with others so much as the impact I have on others. Trying to talk to myself using loving speech also!

When do you know your work/life balance is off?
I talk more and more these days about ‘Mindful Masculinities’. When I am truly striving to be present, show up, enter the Ring of my own life: in everyday, simple moments I can tell when I am not at my best. We all have those ‘engine light’ or ‘oil change’ symbols light up on our inner dashboard: those moments when a quiet voice whispers “you need to take a break” or “put the email away and go sit with your child for a bit”.
Humbly, I would like to submit that the pursuit of ‘work/life balance’ is a fruitless chase that sets us up for failure. Instead, I believe the key is seeking to find harmony within every moment in Life. This is a fluid state where we seek to maintain amidst the ever-changing highs and lows. We are in constant motion, our lives are never truly in a stand-still state until our last breath. Life is like crossing a tightrope towards our destination, as we carry all our life’s relationships, projects, aspirations, challenges and responsibilities in our hands. The goal is to constantly seek harmony within the present moment, both when it is quiet, or when we face the gusts of Life’s winds of challenge… all while moving in a forward motion. This is our endless work: staying tuned in, learning to adjust and thrive, all while seeking to be one with this very moment.

Vulnerability is a challenge for most men – share a vulnerable moment from your life with us.
I want to be the person that reaches out to you when things are at their lowest, not someone who shows up when you are riding waves of success. I think we need to start doing that for ourselves, with ourselves.
In the very near future, I seek to openly talk about my mistakes and lessons learned. I think it is time we opened up as men and owned our shit. Taking ownership of our actions, behaviour and impact. I am writing a piece about this topic, in which I wrote: “To Men everywhere, this isn’t about the ‘Day of our Reckoning’, this is about the Day of our Awakening.”
In 2015, I started a year-long journey to explore and own my past actions and reputation, and ask myself hard questions. I did a lot of listening, talking with women from different periods of my life: colleagues, friends, acquaintances, women I’ve interacted with in community work, as well as women I dated in the past. I wanted to better know myself through the narrative others have of me, based on my impact in the community. This wasn’t solely about me, my hurt feelings or my guilt, but more about learning of any hurt or harm I may have caused.

What did you learn from it?
As a result, I started having much deeper, vulnerable conversations with men in my life, modelling how we can help one another do this emotional work together. Sharing my journey helped me open up conversations with men, as we discussed regrets, shame and fear of talking openly about mistakes, and how we need to do this work together. Instead of leaving women in our lives to do all the heavy emotional lifting for us, we can share in the emotional, healing, self-awareness work amongst other fellow men.
Ben Okri said “Stories can conquer fear. They can make the heart larger.” We can humbly share our experiences together as men, to help our own healing and learning, and others too. I started a monthly gathering in Toronto: a private circle of men I knew trying to be positive role models in our communities. There we open up and share, and listen to one another. No performance, no judgements, not as a PR move to salvage our name after a mistake made. Raw, real honest truths and buried fears. We need to model doing emotional labour together as men, where there isn’t reward (i.e. opening up with the goal of achieving romantic or sexual pursuits).
Next Gen Men has started monthly gatherings in Calgary, and soon other cities like Toronto (which I will be organizing) called ‘Wolf Pack’. (http://nextgenmen.ca/our-program/wolf-pack) These will be spaces where men can have these conversations together, open to people of all genders. Wolf Pack aims to tackle challenges of social isolation amongst adult men by helping foster social connection and new friendships through vulnerable and supportive conversations around topics of depth.

If you are or were going to be a mentor for another man, what is one piece of advice you would give him?
I am looked to by some as an ‘expert’ on healthy masculinities, but anyone who says they have the ‘quick-fix, follow these three easy steps, just-add water’ solutions to being a better man is working a con. The path toward being your better self (not better than someone else, but better that who you were yesterday) is a lifelong journey. There are no shortcuts, no quick solutions, we have to roll up our sleeves and develop the resolution to truly face ourselves, with love. A self-love that is accountability, transparency and humility.

How do you be the best partner (Boyfriend/Husband- past or present)
Know Yourself.

Do you support any Charities or Not-for-profits? (Which one(s) and why?)
Let me tell you about three, starting with the one I work for!
Next Gen Men (www.nextgenmen.ca) is a youth-led, nonprofit organization focused on building better men through youth and peer engagement, education and empowerment. We believe that by engaging, educating, and empowering our peers, we can ensure that the next generation of men will make a positive impact on their communities.
Reclaim Your Voice (www.abusesurvivalstories.com) is a nonprofit event series which provides a platform for men and women who have experienced domestic violence, psychological and sexual abuse, to reclaim their voices. Combining raw testimonials from survivors with inspirational spoken word pieces and motivational speeches, Reclaim Your Voice is a positive and healing experience that uplifts both the mind and the soul.
FYOU: THE FORGIVENESS PROJECT (www.thefyouproject.ca) is a movement that started after rape-survivor Tara Muldoon did not find justice in the justice system. After realizing forgiveness would have to come from within, she created a platform for youth and young adults to speak openly about what it means to forgive. FYOU is now a team that runs programming and workshops internationally. The entire movement is comprised of youth and young adults.

If your life had a theme song, what would it be?
‘Sure Looks Good To Me’ by Alicia Keys.

Where do you see yourself in 3 years?
I see myself doing what I am doing today, but in different and ever-evolving ways; hopefully having learned more and grown each day from now to that moment in time.

What legacy do you want to leave for future generations?
I hope to be seen as a person who left it all in the ring. I want to be someone who inspired others to reach deeper and do better: not just in my words but my deeds and actions, and the impact I had on others.

What One book would you recommend for any Man?
The Autobiography of Malcolm X
(Also: Man Up: Reimagining Modern Manhood by Carlos Andrés Gómez)

If you know a Man that is making a positive impact on the world, we would love to hear from you! Contact us at [email protected]

Man Of The Week – Jermal Alleyne

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Jermal Alleyne is our newest Man Of The Week and boy does he have one hell of a story! Today he is the Co-founder of a non-profit called Next Gen Men that is dedicated to building better men through youth engagement, education, and empowerment. Like many in his generation, Jermal never had a mentor or group of friends as a young boy where he could be taught about the expectations and responsibilities of being a ‘man’. It was this struggle and losing his teenage brother to suicide that drives Jermal’s passion for impacting and equipping today’s youth. Jermal opens up and gets real personal in this weeks Man Of The Week, you’ll definitely want to check out his humbling story.

Jermal, along with three others, will be speaking about ‘Confidence’ at the upcoming ManTalks Toronto event on Monday, August 22nd. You can expect to hear moving stories from individuals who suffered from low self-esteem and the manner in which they tackled this head on to emerge victorious and successful.
ENTRY IS FIRST COME FIRST SERVE
Topic: Confidence & Connection
Date: Monday, August 22 6:30pm (Doors open) 7:00pm (Event begins)
Location: 174 Front St West, Toronto ON M5V 3K2
Tickets: FREEIMG_20151118_013543

Age – 28

What do you do? (Work)
I am the Program Director and lead facilitator of Next Gen Men, a nonprofit focused on building better men through youth and peer engagement, education, and empowerment.. I lead an after-school program for boys aged 12-14 years old that disrupts the prevalent ideas and misconceptions about what it means to ‘be a man’ today. We move beyond the stereotypes and empower boys to be men who make a positive impact on their communities.

Why do you do it?
I do this for two reasons. Being a man myself, I wish I had had something like this when I was growing up – a place that I would feel safe with my friends while learning some about the expectations of “being a man” that probably would have helped me to make fewer mistakes in my early adulthood. Secondly, I lost my brother to suicide when he was 13 and that always sits with me. I love that now, I have a chance to educate youth on the dangers of bullying, the importance of mental health, and teaching these young men that asking for help when you need it isn’t a sign of weakness, but strength.

How do you make a difference in the world? (Work, business, life, family, self)
I believe the work that we are doing at Next Gen Men can one day make a huge difference in the world. Through engaging, educating, and empowering young men at an early age look at our work as prevention to reduction in all form of violence, with an emphasis on violence against women, and a reduction in male deaths by suicide due to an increased knowledge of mental health supports.

What are 3 defining moments in your life?
– The passing of my bother in 2007. It was an eye opener to appreciate family. Also, to make the most of the time you have on this world – I do that by helping others.
– Tearing my ACL. This is a pretty common injury, but for me the rehab process allowed me to expand the definition of myself. I wasn’t just Jermal, a great athlete anymore, I learned to be so much more.
– Getting engaged. The time since I met my fiancé has been the happiest consecutive years of my life and I know they will only continue with her in my life.

What is your life purpose?
I think my life purpose is to help. I know it is so vague, but I have always found a sense of peace when I know that I am helping someone. Whether it is young man who needs positive words of encouragement in program, to help with school work, or and an adult who just needs someone to listen to I like helping people work through the battles big or small.

How did you tap into it?
Giving can sometimes be difficult, I have heard some stories and things that people have gone through that just break my heart, but I know how important self-care is. I generally like to do solitary things as part of my self-care. When I was young that was practicing soccer by myself, as I got older that was basketball, now it is golf and writing.

Who is your Role Model or Mentor?
When I was younger, Tiger Woods was my role model. I loved his laser like focus. Now I would have to say it is my father. When I look back on my life and realize all the sacrifices he made for me, my brothers, people in my family to put them in a better position in their lives, it blows me away. His patience to see the big picture is a quality that I admire the most.

Do you have any daily habits? If so, what are they?
One of my self-care techniques/hobbies has to be included. Whether it is the gym, writing, or just reflecting, it helps me tackle the day ahead and coffee, definitely coffee.

When do you know your work/life balance is off?
I generally just feel like garbage. Whether I haven’t got enough work done, I feel bad about myself if I am working too much and don’t make time for me for a couple of days. I have a guilty feeling either way.

Vulnerability is a challenge for most men – share a vulnerable moment from your life with us.
The most vulnerable moment in my life was going to see my mother while she was incarcerated when I was twelve. My father didn’t want me to go, but I knew it was something I had to do. It was scary, I was nervous and I went asking for love. It was the most vulnerable I have let myself be to this day.

What did you learn from it?
Well, the experience didn’t meet my expectations so it was disappointing. From it I learned to be strong, that putting yourself out there when asking for love doesn’t kill you, and most importantly, hope. I knew there would come a day where my expectations were met and I can say today they happily are.

If you are or were going to be a mentor for another man, what is one piece of advice you would give him?
There comes a time in your life where you have to stop making your circumstances an excuse for why you should fail, and take responsibility of those circumstance and make them the reason you succeed.  I can say that I have had many moments in my life where shit was just hard, personal relationships, school, and circumstances that you just thought you’d never be in. I, many times let my circumstances be my scapegoat but there came a day when I just stopped doing that and life started to turn around slowly I might add, but it did and I would want that young man to know it will be YOU that made that choice.

How do you be the best partner (Boyfriend/Husband- past or present)
I think I am the best partner to my fiancé when I am just as giving in my outside life as in my relationship.

Do you support any Charities or Not-for-profits? (Which one(s) and why?)
I can’t say that I actively do through money consistently, but since Movember’s push into mental health and well being for men. It’s an organization that does such great work.
I have been a recent supporter of Movember, not only have they funded Next Gen Men, but I truly they are offering a holistic approach to men’s’ health. Especially on the Mental Health on the Mental Health approach. I am an advocate for youth mental health and I volunteered in my community as the youth mental health advisor.
Next Gen Men is so important to me because I have the opportunity to talk to young men and breaking down the old definition of a man that doesn’t need help. I share my personal stories to inspire them to understand that asking for help is not a sign of weakness and we need more men to help us in this effort.

If your life had a theme song, what would it be?
Not sure

Where do you see yourself in 3 years?
With work, that’s looking forward and seeing how accomplished Next Gen Men has become. In my personal life, I’m looking forward to being married in 2017 and starting a family.

What legacy do you want to leave for future generations?
I guess the legacy I would like to leave is that I was instrumental in reducing suicide rates and violence against women by co-founding Next Gen Men. Though we are small, I know that our reach can be huge and exponential if the young men that come through our program can influence on friend with our message. ‘Wolfpack’ is a new initiative we are launching shortly in Calgary, Toronto, and Vancouver. It is a unique “brotherhood” of men focused on facilitating social supports with depth. We are looking to engage with men aged 25-45 to not only encourage them to be more socially connected but to draw from these connections when they go through tough times and transitions.

What One book would you recommend for any Man?
The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho

If you know a Man that is making a positive impact on the world, we would love to hear from you! Contact us at [email protected]

Man Of The Week – Matt Tod

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Our newest Man Of The Week is Matt Tod, a speaker, facilitator and coach to youth and our millennials. Matt faced much uncertainty about where his life was going when graduating from university, and after working for a few years, he quickly noticed a growing level of unhappiness in his life. Upon reflecting on this tough period, Matt did what many of us shy away from, asking ourselves “What do I need to be happy?” and begun to action his life. Surprisingly to him, life began to present him with opportunities to live in alignment with the way he so deeply desired. Matt’s finely tuned level of self-awareness allowed him to discover his life’s purpose, which is to serve others, to help them become better versions of themselves and to support their development. The roller coaster of life forced Matt to step into severely vulnerable spaces in his life which required him to step up to be the man him and his family needed, from holding his first son and learning how to be selfless to the passing of family members and learning that grief is a journey of perseverance and not something to get over. Today Matt serves as the Associate Director of Learning & Performance Development for Free The Children and Me to We. He’s got an inspiring story that is sure to impact the lives of youth worldwide and motivate us to leave the world in a better place that we found it.

Age – 34

What do you do? (Work)
In my day to day, I serve as the Associate Director of Learning and Performance Development for Free The Children and Me to We. In addition to that, I’m also a Youth and Millennial Leadership speaker, facilitator and coach.

Why do you do it?
There are lots of reasons I feel that I do what I’m doing. A big part of it is because it aligns with my values and my strengths. Serving others, helping them become better versions on themselves and supporting others growth and development helps me be a better version of myself as well. I want to contribute in a meaningful way in making the world, our community, and ourselves better. I have a strong passion for serving young people and I think that’s where I really found my spark. I don’t think I could do anything else and be as fulfilled as I am when I’m supporting and learning from others.

How do you make a difference in the world? (Work, business, life, family, self)
I think we all have the opportunity to make a difference in a meaningful way each and every day. One question I often ask myself in the morning is “what difference do I want to make today?” When I do that, I can look at what’s coming up for the day and decide where I can have the biggest impact. Sometimes that is at work when I’m supporting new staff who are just joining our team; other times its by being a present and patient father for my incredible 4-year old son. I want to make a difference in the lives of the people I connect with and I want to live by example as much as possible.

What are 3 defining moments in your life?
I think I’ve been fortunate to have many defining moments in my life. Defining moments are really about those moments when you’re called to show up. Those moments when you’re required to be your best. Three that come to mind, in particular, would be:
– The moment I graduated from University- I was the first person in my family to complete post-secondary so that was a pretty big deal for me. I remember sitting there in my convocation thinking “ok, now what?” It was a moment where I had to really start to think about what was important to me and what I wanted to do with everything I had worked for up until that point
– The birth of my son, Hunter– Definitely a defining moment as it was a shift in my identity as a man and how I saw myself. I was lucky to be part of my son’s birth (we did a home birth) so experiencing that was incredible. After that, everything shifted. I didn’t realize how selfish I was until I had a tiny human who I was partly responsible for keeping alive. And, to be honest, I wasn’t awesome at it all for the first little while. It took me some time to figure out my new role.
– The death of my dad- My dad passed away suddenly this past summer. He was just about to turn 57. Death is difficult for everyone, I’m sure, but at the time there had been a lot going on for him and my mom – they had just lost their business, had to sell their house and were about to move out 2 days before it all happened. When it did happen, all of a sudden, there was a lot of pressure and responsibility thrown on to me (and our family). The experience taught me so much about grief and that it’s not something you get over but something you have to go through. This is especially important to understand as men, I think. I’m one of three boys and we all dealt with our grief in very different ways. It taught me that there’s no one way to grieve and to honour what you feel.

What is your life purpose?
My life’s purpose is to grow and develop myself and the people around me (in that order). I want to not only help people be their best in the moments that matter the most, but also to help others live the best possible version of their lives. I’ve been so fortunate to, at an early age, be put on my life’s path.

How did you tap into it?
I reflected quite a bit on where I was in my life at a time when I wasn’t really happy. The work I was doing didn’t provide me with purpose or meaning and I was feeling a lot of (unnecessary) stress about it. So I stepped back and asked myself “what do I need to be happy?” It came down to three things: I wanted to work with youth as a young person myself, I wanted to be a positive role model for others (especially other males) and I wanted to have purpose and meaning in my day-to-day work. When I became aware of that, opportunities started to present themselves.

Who is your Role-Model or Mentor?
I’ve been really fortunate to have a lot of positive role models in my life. It’s hard to choose just one. What I will say though is that I’ve worked hard to create a group of people I can go to for different aspects of my life. If I had to choose, I would say that, though he recently passed away, my Dad has been more of a role-model for me now (having become a father) than he was before. It kind of sucks to say that, but I have these moments as a Dad now where I go “oh…I get it now…” and I think of how my Dad approached a certain situation or how he chose to raise each of us.

Do you have any daily habits? If so, what are they?
I’ve got a few. One thing I do every Sunday is sit down for 20-30 minutes and plan out my week. I call it “Set Yourself Sunday”. I take a look at where I’ll be, what commitments I have, what are my priorities, and I’ll set goals and actions. This keeps me on top of things and provides me with a sense of control in a, sometimes, very hectic life. I also have some morning and evening routines that I’ve been doing for a long time: Every morning I get up and do one of four things (sometimes all): I read, I journal, I meditate and/or I work out. This provides me with a solid start to the day and centers me. At night, I read, journal, meditate and/or take a bath. Just having a morning and nighttime ritual really helps me stay focused, recharged and healthy.

When do you know your work/life balance is off?
I don’t really believe in work/life balance but, when I start to recognize something is off is usually when I start backing out of commitments or I start to lose connection with the people closest too me. That’s a pretty good indicator that I need to stop, re-evaluate, and reset.

Vulnerability is a challenge for most men – share a vulnerable moment from your life with us.
I think one of the most vulnerable moments I’ve ever had was when I openly started talking about my anxiety in University. I had been diagnosed with generalized anxiety and hid it from my friends and family for a really long time. Eventually, it got harder to manage without help and I needed to reach out for more support.

What did you learn from it?
That we all struggle and that it’s ok to not be ok sometimes. The important thing (for me at least) was to start the conversation and to use the story of my struggle as a way to heal and to help.

If you are or were going to be a mentor for another man, what is one piece of advice you would give him?
There would be two: Awareness creates choice. And choice creates change. Self awareness is such an important part of growth and development. It’s so important to take the time to stop, reflect and spend some quality time with yourself away from all the distractions we have in our life.
The second is that you don’t need to be the best all the time. You only need to be your best in the moments that matter the most. It’s up to you to determine what your best looks like and when those moments present themselves.

How do you be the best partner (Boyfriend/Husband- past or present)
I think I’ve struggled with this a bit more than some guys so I’m hesitant to give advice. What I would say is that it’s important to really understand and align values and beliefs – both yours and that of your partner. I think being the best partner is about really listening and understanding. It’s about being able to put your needs aside for the needs of the relationship.

Do you support any Charities or Not-for-profits? (Which one(s) and why?)
I work full-time for a charity, does that count? Aside from my work, I really try to support any organization or charity that serves youth. This is something I feel strongly about.

If your life had a theme song, what would it be?
Right now, I think I’d say Truth by Alexander

Where do you see yourself in 3 years?
I’d like to be spending more time with my son. Surrounded by good people, doing work that provides purpose and serves others. I’d like to be reaching more people through speaking, facilitating and writing.

What legacy do you want to leave for future generations?
I want to leave a legacy of self awareness. It’s pretty much a super power. I want to help others become more self-aware, challenge their beliefs and find potential in themselves that they never knew they had.

What One book would you recommend for any Man?
Resilience by Eric Grietens.

Who is one Man you think our readers would love to read about in future ‘Man Of The Week’ features? Spencer West or Alex Meers – these are two of my greatest friends. Solid men and brothers. Both of them are inspiring, humble and constantly challenge me to be a better version of myself.

If you know a Man that is making a positive impact on the world, we would love to hear from you! Contact us at [email protected]

Man Of The Week – Connor Driscoll

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Connor Driscoll was introduced to us through a previous Man Of The Week and boy are we thrilled with that connection! While his life’s purpose may not be something he has identified or learned yet, Connor is an admirable young man whose values and work serve as a reminder for all of us to continue positively impacting those around us. Connor has done this for the last seven years where he began teaching in an elementary school, and today serves as the principal. Like many before him, Connor sees education as a means of preparing children for their future, with some of the tools needed to handle life, and the medium for which we leave the world in a better place. His reward is the simplest and purest of things: the joy kids can bring. Many of us often get stuck in the rat race that is our professional career; however, Connor’s life experiences have taught him an invaluable lesson that the real joy in life is not in the outcome, but the journey itself. Investing time and efforts with the right intentions in meaningful areas of our lives has a bigger impact on us and those around us, but this must be done with the support of your loved ones. Read on to learn more about Connor’s journey and how an incredible moment of vulnerability allowed him to realize that his wife is the rock of his life.

Age – 30

What do you do? (Work)
I am in my first year as an elementary school principal. I’ve worked as a teacher for the past seven years, and had bouts as a climbing and mountaineering guide on the east and west coasts. I’m also a fledgling author of fiction for middle-grade readers. I’ve finished one book and am working with a fantastic agent to find the right home for it. So far it’s not profitable work, but I enjoy it and work hard at it, so it counts.

Why do you do it?
Let’s see. I work in education because I believe wholeheartedly in the mission of public education and that every child deserves access to a future that only education can provide. Also, I really enjoy the work. I think with any job, it’s important to enjoy what you do, but that’s particularly true in education because the joy kids bring is the biggest reward in the job. If you don’t enjoy it, you’re sunk and the ones who lose out most are the kids. Don’t get me wrong, the work is really hard (as any educator who does a good job will tell you) but the fact that it is so hard and so important makes it worth it. I mean, in what other profession do you literally get to prepare the next generation for what life has in store- or at least what we predict life will be like when they’re adults?
I worked as a mountaineering and climbing guide because I love climbing and the mountains, and I wanted to share passion with others. I still love climbing and the mountains, and will share those experiences with anyone I can, but I had to choose and I chose public education. I don’t regret it.
I write because I enjoy it. That’s it. I could always get lost reading fiction, and I’ve found that I can do the same when writing it.

How do you make a difference in the world? (Work, business, life, family, self)
I think that’s the whole point of education. It may not be a difference that’s felt all at once, or one that the students even notice is being made at the time, but most adults can look back and identify at least one teacher that really made a difference in his or her life. Helping kids learn and helping them mature and cope with life’s many curveballs makes a difference to them, and who knows how that will impact the world down the line.

What are 3 defining moments in your life?
– Meeting, then marrying my wife. She’s absolutely amazing.
– Growing up and working on a party fishing boat with my dad. He was the captain and I was the mate. It was a really special time, and I got to hear my dad tell a lot of stories. Maybe that’s why I like to write them.
– Any of about a million memories of spending time with my family. I can’t pick one, but they’re really important to me and always have been.

What is your life purpose?
I haven’t figured that one out just yet, and I’m not sure I ever will. I think that maybe that’s a purpose in and of itself- the journey. I think it’s about the process, not the ends.

How did you tap into it?
I try to enjoy experiences as much as I possibly can and be the best person I know how.

Who is your Role-Model or Mentor?
My father. He’s always been someone I looked up to.

Do you have any daily habits? If so, what are they?
I like to try and do something physical, whether it’s running or hiking or climbing or taking the dog for a romp in the woods. If I go to many days in a row without doing that, I start to get antsy. My wife thinks I’m like a dog that way, and she usually notices before I do if I’m off. I think she’s worried I’ll start chewing the furniture. I also spend as much time with her as I can- dinner if we’re both home or some couch time if it’s later.

When do you know your work/life balance is off?
I can feel it. The other day I was at a meeting, and we were talking about the work/life balance and someone slipped and said the work/work balance. I think that’s a sign.

Vulnerability is a challenge for most men – share a vulnerable moment from your life with us.
This one’s tough. I lost one of my best friends to suicide several years back. It was incredibly hard. He was an exchange student that lived with my family in high school. In college, I did an exchange and lived close to him for a while, too. We spent a lot of time in the mountains of Germany in Austria together, and we were very close. Because we lived in different countries at the time of his death, and his friend from Germany was informing people and didn’t have my number or email, I found out through a Facebook message from someone I didn’t know, so I didn’t believe it. I was living at my parents’ house at the time, and they were on vacation. My wife (then fiance) was living with her parents across the state, so I was alone for that night. The next morning, I couldn’t take being by myself so I went to work where I was teaching in Boston. I stuffed my car into a snowbank on the way in because I wasn’t paying attention and hit some ice. That night, I drove out to be with my wife because we were doing a pre-wedding thing with the church. Once I got there I just lost it. I cried harder than I ever had, and it hurt worse than anything I’d ever endured. Not just emotionally, but it physically hurt. Bad. The whole time I was convulsing in sobs, my wife just held me. I can still feel how tightly her arms wrapped around me from behind (I was little spoon that night) and I knew that I could get through it because I had her.

What did you learn from it?
I learned that despite any evidence to the contrary, my wife is my rock. She may dispute that, but she’s proved it time and time again.

If you are or were going to be a mentor for another man, what is one piece of advice you would give him?
Get a dog. Dogs are awesome and they make you a better person.

How do you be the best partner (Boyfriend/Husband- past or present)
We try to support each other in whatever we do. We make time for each other. We talk and we laugh, a lot.

Do you support any Charities or Not-for-profits? (Which one(s) and why?)
My wife has a connection to an orphanage in Tanzania, and we’ve paid school fees for a student there as she’s gone to secondary school. I say “we” there, but really it’s her doing that. We also both work in education and give freely of our time and treasure to that cause.

If your life had a theme song, what would it be?
I was trying to think of a serious one for this, and it just wouldn’t work. I keep coming back to “Call me Maybe.” I’m really not sure why.

Where do you see yourself in 3 years?
Right where I am now. I’m really happy with what’s going on at the moment, and have no desire to change it. I feel like sometimes people get so caught up with ambition that they forget what it’s like to be content.

What legacy do you want to leave for future generations?
I’d like for students I’ve served to be able to look back fondly on the time they had, and for them to be better human beings for having spent time in a place where I worked. I’d also like the world to be better and more understanding for my kids.

What One book would you recommend for any Man?
Anything by Roald Dahl or Shel Silverstein. Really, a lot of books for kids. I think there’s a lot that adults can learn from them, and maybe a lot that they have learned, or have forgotten over the years. It’s important to be reminded of what makes us human and I think that books targeted to kids do a really good job of that.

Man Of The Week – Jason Connell

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Our newest Man Of The Week has gone through a roller coaster in life, and along that journey he has discovered the most beautiful of life-lessons that only life experiences can teach. From a very young age, Jason Connell was obsessed with perception, behaviours and psychology, where he started his career as a child entertainer who performed over 300 live magic shows before his 18th birthday. After high-school, Jason attended a small liberal arts college for a few semesters before realizing this wasn’t the life he wanted to live, so he packed up his things and traveled the world to experience it first hand. His travels dispelled the illusions of limitations that hold us back from our dreams and allowed him to channel his inner potential to becoming the successful coach he is today. His journey wasn’t all rainbows and butterflies, Jason had to deal with financial struggle, the loss of loved ones and broken relationships to really feel broken to the core, which is when he begun working on his relationship with the self. Today, Jason helps people develop confidence, authenticity, self-compassion and self-love because “the singular most important relationship you will ever have, is your relationship with yourself.” To learn more about Jason and to explore how he can help you realize your potential, check out his website.

Age – 30

What do you do? (Work)
I help high performing men and women remove the psychological and spiritual barriers to self-love, confidence, and authenticity. If you’re successful but still feel like there is something missing in your life, there’s a good chance I can help you.

Why do you do it?
I love helping people step fully into their lives. So many people have been held back by their education, friends, family, society, and culture without even realizing it.

How do you make a difference in the world? (Work, business, life, family, self)
In my personal life, I’m the guy in my circle of friends who gets everyone together and organizes events. Professionally, I help people realize how amazing and powerful they truly are. A lot of people are captivated by this bullshit illusion that they aren’t powerful, can’t be happy, can’t make a difference, and don’t deserve an amazing life. I help cut through the illusions.

What are 3 defining moments in your life?
– When I was 19 I dropped out of college and spent three years traveling the world. The travels were a mix of hedonism (I got to go behind the booth at the hottest club in Amsterdam), service (I spent a lot of time volunteering in poor communities) and exploration. I learned that the limits of reality are far greater than most people perceive. I also learned that no matter how distracted or exciting my life becomes, I can’t possibly run from myself and my truth.
– There was a four-week span where my best friend moved away, my girlfriend and I of two years broke up, and then a close friend died. Before I had a chance to even realize what had just happened, I left on a speaking tour that kept me on the road for several months. The combination of all of these events completely broke me and forced me to learn the importance of prioritizing my mental and physical health above all else. If I’m not supporting myself, there’s no way I can support others.
– Eight months ago, I left Washington, DC after six years of living there. I knew DC wasn’t right for me, but I didn’t know where I wanted to move. I travelled until I found the place that was right for me, Denver, CO. This was the first time I consciously trusted myself and my intuition to guide me through major life decisions. It went far better than anything I could have possibly imagined. In the past, I relied on logic. That was good for business but shitty for life.

What is your life purpose?
To live as fully as I can while I am alive, and to help people step more fully into theirs.

How did you tap into it?
In my personal life, I try to always be honest. This means not lying, of course, but it also means speaking my truth, and making my actions mirror my authentic desires. This is far far harder than most people realize. However, even harder than living your truth is lying to yourself and the people around you, whether through action, inaction, word, or omission.
In my professional life, I help people connect to themselves, and then find the innate courage to live their truth. We all have deep well springs of confidence and courage within us. Most people just don’t know how to access them.

Who is your Role-Model or Mentor?
There are two mentors who have made disproportionately significant impacts in my life. The first is Jean-Pierre Lauzier, the second is Philip McKernin. If you ever have the opportunity to work with either of these men, leap at it.

Do you have any daily habits? If so, what are they?
The only thing that I do every day is meditate. I practice Vipassana (insight) meditation. On most days I practice intermittent fasting, write, and scribble down a few things I’m grateful for.

 When do you know your work/life balance is off?
That’s something that is purely emotional for me. I know I’m in my zone when I’m feeling playful, confident, open, and energetic. Of course, even in my best months, those feelings ebb and flow, but if I’m waking up feeling anything less than that more than one or two days in a row, I know something is off.

Vulnerability is a challenge for most men – share a vulnerable moment from your life with us.
I just turned 30. The vast majority of my close friends are married and own houses. Three of them are expecting their first child this year. Me? I’m very single and rent a cool apartment. Compared to my friends, I feel extremely stunted in my personal life. A very real part of me fears that as our realities drift further and further apart we will no longer share the same deep connection we once did. I also kind of resent them for falling onto the beaten path. I thought the plan was that we were going to abandon the beaten path and stay up late drinking and travelling and chasing pretty women and talking about books and trying to save the world.

What did you learn from it?
Actually the most valuable thing I’ve learned from ostensibly drifting from my friends is that the fear of being disconnected from them was a phantom. I realize that so much of the loss of love and connection I was afraid of didn’t actually exist in reality. If you find the courage to own your fears and vulnerabilities and open up within them, you’ll find that you are capable of mastering them. More than that, you’ll find that many of them are complete fictions.

If you are or were going to be a mentor for another man, what is one piece of advice you would give him?
Stop pretending to be so fucking strong, and surrender. Feel the God damn pain you’ve been pretending doesn’t exist. Let it cripple and destroy you. If you’re not crying, you’re doing it wrong. Once you’ve processed all the shit you were avoiding, you’ll notice that resting beneath it all is a deep sense of power, stillness, happiness, and love. But you’ll only ever get there when you stop pretending to be someone you’re not and for most men, that begins by surrendering.

How do you be the best partner (Boyfriend/Husband- past or present)
My commitment to all present and future partners is to share my truth with them even if it makes me extremely uncomfortable. This means loving with more wild abandon than I’ve done in the past, as well as being more proactive about the tough conversations than I’ve been in the past.

Do you support any Charities or Not-for-profits? (Which one(s) and why?)
Yes. The two I like the most are Ingenuity Prep and Global Camps Africa. I’ve worked closely with the leaders of both organizations. Ingenuity Prep provides a world class education to some of the most disadvantaged children in Washington, DC. Their model is highly scalable, their leaders are world-class experts, and the results they get for their students are breathtaking. Global Camps Africa provides life skills for children living in the slums of South Africa. Studies have shown that children who attend GCA have lower HIV/AIDS rates, commit fewer crimes, attend school more frequently, and manage money better.

If your life had a theme song, what would it be?
Home, by LCD Soundsystem.

Where do you see yourself in 3 years?
Denver, CO, continuing to speak, write, and run seminars for amazing people.

What legacy do you want to leave for future generations?
I haven’t hit the point in my life where I spend any time at all thinking about legacy. Honestly, I’m not sure I ever will. As far as I can tell, the best thing to do is spend your time focused on authentically sharing yourself and your gift with the world while you’re still here. It’s kind of arrogant and delusional to believe that you’ll matter much once you’re gone. Most people find that cold. To me, it’s liberating. I see little value in trying to live in the future or manipulate people’s perception of me – especially after I’m dead.

What One book would you recommend for any Man?
The Inner Game of Tennis by Timothy Gallwey. Inner Game does an amazing job of helping readers realize that they can control their mind, while also teaching them how to access their intuition.

If you know a Man that is making a positive impact on the world, we would love to hear from you! Contact us at [email protected]

Man Of The Week – Louka Parry

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Nelson Mandela once said, “Education is the most powerful weapon which you can use to change the world.” Our newest Man Of The Week is Louka Parry and he couldn’t agree more! Louka is a Director of Programs for Education Changemakers, and he saw an opportunity in leveraging education as a tool to combat societal issues, scarcities and inequalities. Louka noticed the importance of education and the positive impact it can have in empowering somebody to live a fulfilled life of purpose and passion. His dedication to impacting the education of every young person in the world, regardless of their location, is both admirable yet necessary. To get involved, be sure to check out Education Changemakers and some of the other noble causes Louka supports.
Age: 31
What do you do?
I’m now an adult educator, working to unleash teacher-led innovation and leadership. As the Director of Programs for Education Changemakers, a BCorp, we work to enable teachers to lead positive change in their schools to make sure young people have an education worth having.
Why do you do it?
I teach because I want to see a better world, one where every person can achieve their own sense of greatness. It’s clear that we need to move from a world of scarcity to one of abundance and I see education as the key lever for social change. I’m also lucky to spend time with amazing people everyday, be they passionate teachers and leaders or my wonderful colleagues. It’s hard to underplay the importance of a great team culture to do great work.
How do you make a difference in the world? (Work, business, life, family, self)
I try to live deliberately and inspire others to lead positive, fulfilling lives where they find their purpose and use their passion to follow it. I’m incredibly lucky to support teachers from a diverse range of settings to be innovative and to use their leadership gifts to serve others. In life, I try to be the best version of myself as a positive energiser and an optimist.
What are 3 defining moments in your life?
– Firstly, the day my Papou (my Greek Grandfather) died in 2001. I was 16 and it was the first significant grief I had experienced and I realized I didn’t truly know him or much about my ancestry as the first Australian born from two immigrant families. He was too proud to speak broken English and I spoke no Greek. That moment unleashed a passion for history and linguistics and five languages later, I’m still on a relentless quest to be a hyperpolyglot.
– Second, was a lecture at university that spoke about teaching in remote communities in Central Australia. That lecture forever changed my life trajectory and 12 months later, I found myself being my teaching career in the great Australian outback. It’s also where I met Jess, a fellow teacher, who is now my long-term partner.
– Third, was the day I became a school principal. I was 27 and it was to be a test of my leadership nous, but it was rewarding work and having a committed, positive team of both Aboriginal and non-aboriginal educators made all the difference to both me and the students.
What is your life purpose?
It is said in life that you make a living by what you get, but you make a life by what you give. I hope to give my best, most authentic self to the world and know with satisfaction that I’ve made a difference. I hope to collect as many profound learning experiences as possible, which is one reason I love to travel, and make a positive dent on this planet while I’m fortunate enough to be here.
How did you tap into it?
I chose teaching because I wanted to help others. Education is a social leveller and anyone can experience success if given the right support. I’m a strong believer in egalitarian ideals and meritocracy and wanted to work in service of them. After all, teaching is the profession that creates all others.
Who is your Role-Model or Mentor?
I take my inspiration from many people around me and try to use their passion to spark my own. My role-model is my Yaiyai (Greek Grandma) who died a year ago. She had incredible resilience, strength, selflessness and so much love for others. I learnt so much from her and am grateful for the sacrifice she and others made so that I could have the opportunities I’ve had in Australia. Family is really important to me and I do my best to make them proud.
Do you have any daily habits? If so, what are they?
I meditate for 20 minutes, take a run or do yoga, read, listen to Spotify and connect with friends and ideas online. I also try do at least one thing that scares me and one random act of kindness, no matter how small. If the world need more of something, it’s kindness.
When do you know your work/life balance is off?
I’m incredibly privileged to do what I love so I like to think of this balance more as life/work integration. But when I find my normal positive self becoming cynical, impatient and frustrated, I know it’s time for rebalance, especially a bit of a digital detox (I’m as addicted to technology as most people nowadays).
Vulnerability is a challenge for most men – share a vulnerable moment from your life with us. 
The moment my parents separated. It was late in my life as I was 27 but it was completely unexpected, it totally challenged my concept of marriage as a life-long commitment, something I’m still working through. Thankfully, both my parents are happier now with partners who truly fulfil them.
What did you learn from it?
That life is never linear, ignoring authenticity is never promising and honesty is always the best position. If you are not happy, you need to change something. Life is too short for anything else.
If you are or were going to be a mentor for another man, what is one piece of advice you would give him?
I know it sounds morbid but I would ask him about his death. How would he like to have impacted the world? What would he want the eulogy to be about? And how close is he from achieving these things now? I personally find this strategy helps me to realise that my day-to-day worries don’t actually amount to much, and this forces me to make sure that I’m taking advantage of every opportunity to learn, grow and be my authentic self. Our energy is precious and we need to stick with the things that really matter.
How do you be the best partner (Boyfriend/Husband- past or present)
Be kind, forgiving and a clear communicator. My partner and I live between two states, so we connect daily and see each other every other week. She’s very driven running a preschool and I’m immensely proud of her. I also try to practice self-care and mediation to be the best version of myself I can be when we are spending time together. In this information saturated world, it’s as important to tend the mind as hit the gym.
Do you support any Charities or Not-for-profits? (Which one(s) and why?)
Amnesty International, Oxfam and YGAP. I find work of Y-GAP and Spark* particularly extraordinary as they support early stage social entrepreneurs in Africa, Asia and Australia. To date their program has helped improve the lives of over 100,000 people living in extreme poverty. I routinely get involved in their campaigns, like Polishedman. Definitely check them out.
If your life had a theme song, what would it be?
During the day: Watching You Breathe by Jacoo (mainly for the epic Alan Watts sample)
After dark: Daft Punk by Pentatonix (love a good acapella medley)
Where do you see yourself in 3 years?
A wiser yet relentlessly inquisitive man, still teaching and supporting others to make positive impact. Possibly undertaking a Ph.D, in great shape, beginning a family and enjoying the challenges of this crazy life.
What legacy do you want to leave for future generations?
I’d like to have inspired the people I’ve come across to live more fulfilled lives, and ultimately to work toward a world where everyone can flourish. To have contributed to the creation of a meaningful, relevant and inspiring education for every young person, no matter their location or background.
What One book would you recommend for any Man?
Linchpin by Seth Godin. Epic read.
If you know a Man that is making a positive impact on the world, we would love to hear from you! Contact us at [email protected]
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Man Of The Week – Anthony Demby

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Jimi Hendrix once said “Music doesn’t lie. If there is something to be changed in this world, then it can only happen through music.” This was the sentiment of Anthony Demby, our Man Of The Week, when he took the courageous decision to resign from his job and follow his passions full time by creating Humbleriot, an audible shop that utilizes music and culture to tell stories. A determined entrepreneur and a devoted partner, Anthony believes in pursuing your dreams regardless of what obstacles life throws at you. Today music is a guide that helps channel many aspects of Anthony’s life, where he had the opportunity to create a retreat for DJs and music professionals can further collaborate to inspire and educate the youth. Check out Anthony’s wise words of advise on how we can better take care of those around us and how music can transform a persons reality.
Age – 41
What you do you do? (Work)
I am the founder of Humbleriot, a New York based audible idea shop that utilizes Music & Culture to tell stories.
Why do you do it?
I feel that everything has a very unique sound and vibration and I built a business around the exploration of that for brands, for For-Purpose companies, and unique spaces and communities.
How do you make a difference in the world? (Work, business, life, family, self)
I make a difference in the world by being authentic in everything I do. Being in that space allows me to be my best self and accountable for all of my movements and ironically my most creative.
What are 3 defining moments in your life?
– Hiking the Inca Trail to Machu Picchu in Peru and involuntarily meditating for the first time.
– Losing two very good friends of mine that passed at a very early age and understanding that death doesn’t end a relationship, it just changes the communication.
– Resigning from my former job to launch my own company Humbleriot and pursue my passions full time.
What is your life purpose?  
My life’s purpose is to help people discover, harness, and express the light inside of themselves and communicate it to the world. I also feel my purpose aligns with the power of music and exploring how it can make the lives of people better.
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I had the opportunity to curate and program a retreat for DJs and Music Producers called the Playlist Retreat with DJ Jazzy Jeff and Serato. It was a transformative experience for everyone involved that focused on inspiration, education, and collaboration
How did you tap into it?
It’s an inner knowing and as my spiritual path evolved, I have been gifted opportunities to give in that way. As far as Music, it’s is my first language and soulmate and has lead me to experience some of my highest truths so I continue to follow that calling.
Who is your Role-Model or Mentor?
There are people that I have a great deal of admiration for but I don’t have a specific role model. My role models are people who pursue their dreams no matter what obstacles they face and don’t give up even when the world tells them to. My mentors are my experiences and learning from them.
Do you have any daily habits? If so, what are they? 
My daily habits include meditating twice a day, running, and honestly, just being present.
When do you know your work/life balance is off?
I am all about balance and I can tell when mine is off when I’m reactive and when I’m in a hurry. The moment I start doing things with urgency is where I make mistakes and I have to stop and re-center.
Vulnerability is a challenge for most men – share a vulnerable moment from your life with us.
There was a time earlier in my spiritual path where I went to see a very powerful healer. He opened me up so much that I wasn’t prepared for the rabbit hole that openness sent me down and quite honestly, I was terrified. I remember sharing my fear with my friend Gabrielle Bernstein and she guided me in embracing it and accepting of what I was now aware of and it changed my life. I am forever grateful that she was able to navigate me through that.
What did you learn from it?
I learned that sometimes when you confront and face your fears, there is an immense about of learning that commences and it isn’t always as daunting as it seems to be.
If you are or were going to be a mentor for another man, what is one piece of advice you would give him?
As men we are taught to be caretakers and with that we often don’t take care of ourselves. I would tell him to make sure his vessel is full before looking after his world. I would also tell him to follow his heart no matter what the rest of the world tells him…and do it with integrity.
How do you be the best partner (Boyfriend/Husband- past or present)
This is something that I have learned a great deal about in the last two years. My partner Kristen and I were friends for 8 years before we evolved to more and that foundation of friendship has been the cornerstone of our relationship. It has taught me a deeper level of respect and awareness that what we share isn’t about me, it’s about WE and that lesson is invaluable and I have been able to experience love in a deeper way.
Do you support any Charities or Not-for-profits? (Which one(s) and why?)
Extreme poverty is something I am very passionate about and I really believe in the work that The Robin Hood Foundation is doing. I really dig their intention and approach and they are truly invested in creating sustainable solutions to change people’s reality.
If your life had a theme song, what would it be?
Tom Misch – “You Got Me Flying”
The “she” he mentions in the song is in reference to my life.
Where do you see yourself in 3 years?
Not to be esoteric, but I believe in the power of the present moment so In three years I see myself being right where I am supposed to be and I’m excited for that.
What legacy do you want to leave for future generations?
That’s simple. The knowledge that anything is possible and only seemingly impossible because it hasn’t been done yet. Tremendous creativity has no predecessor.
What One book would you recommend for any Man?
Way Of a The Spiritual Man by David Deida
IMG_1037image1If you know a Man that is making a positive impact on the world, we would love to hear from you! Contact us at [email protected]

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