If you’re struggling, don’t talk about it.
I created an illusion of who I was
supposed to be on the outside — the
kind, funny, and charismatic guy with a
great career and relationship. But on
the other side of that facade hid the
destructive and manipulative version
of myself who lied and cheated. The
idea of anyone finding out my truth felt like death.
I grew up in a small town in Alberta, Canada. My parents divorced when I was three and from then on I lived split between two families. I was an observer and grew up immersed in witnessing the differences between the members of my family.
I spent my childhood (and into adulthood) “performing” who I thought I needed to be in life while abandoning the core of who I knew I was. I harbored self-hatred and shit all over myself daily. I didn’t like who I had become, lacked any kind of direction, and struggled to maintain basic rituals or routines because I saw discipline as a punishment rather than an essential aspect of being a man.
After high school I bounced around a lot. I was never taught how to define my life on my own terms or build something deeply fulfilling so I just latched onto whatever came my way in the hopes that it would give me purpose and direction. I fell into the trap of the Nice Guy and was constantly seeking praise and validation from women – shapeshifting myself into whatever I thought would get me the validation I needed to fill the void within. Spoiler alert – this didn’t end well.
I went from working construction in the frozen gravel pits of Northern Alberta, to singing opera around the world, to working as a market leader at Apple. It all looked great from the outside but for the most part I was miserable and my personal life was a mess.
I couldn’t lie my way out of it this time. To avoid crushing shame, I shut everyone out and ran. And then it happened! One night, my reality hit me like a ton of bricks:
I had spent my life isolating myself and hiding, rather than taking ownership of my darkness and facing the people I had hurt.
It was then that I realized I only had two options: to continue
to hide and silently suffer, or shine light into my deepest
corners and start talking about it. It was in that darkest
moment that I learned the greatest lesson:
Slowly opened up to a few people I trusted about what was going on. To my surprise, I found out that I wasn’t alone.
The more I told my story to the men in my life, the more they started opening up about their own challenges. The more
I spoke about my pain, the more they revealed their own.
For once, we were given permission and space to share
our struggles, shames, and desires around our careers,
our relationships, sexual shortcomings or insecurities,
our confidence, and our masculinity.
I wanted to do something about this but I didn’t know where to start or how it would look like. Out of this, a mentor emerged — a pupil of Jungian Psychology. For two years I apprenticed with him, spending hours a day studying the concepts of Jungian psychology, Shadow Work, and the inner workings of the human psyche. Paid him for his time when I could, and worked in his yard chopping wood and tending to his yard doing the things his 78 year old frame could no longer handle.
I went in deep, confronted my demons, owned my shit, learned how to effectively lead myself, and worked hard to come out the other side and take back control of my life.
After apprenticing with that pupil of Jungian Psychology, I developed an innovative approach to healing and facing our darkest parts by drawing from experiential and training-based methodologies like Jungian psychology, somatic therapy, along with transformative breathwork and meditative practices.
Then in 2014, I founded ManTalks. Today, ManTalks has expanded to a global online men’s group, a top ranked podcast, retreats, courses and am working on the launch of my first book.
ManTalks exists to be of service to men who seek it, a place for training for men who are looking to expand and deepen their sense of self-leadership.
To help men continue their journey and exploration in the realms of mental clarity, relational communication, and actualizing their potential.
We will give you the support you need to face your unique inner obstacles and use them to propel you forward rather than hold you back. But none of it is easy, and it’s not meant to be, so be ready to show up to the mat 100%. A key element of the ManTalks philosophy is that we focus on causes, not symptoms.
We are your everyday ally. We have your back, when you need it most.
The 12 Principles
of a Self-Led Man
The Self-Led Man takes FULL responsibility for the reality he has created while owning his part, understanding what needs to be changed, owned, and accepted in him, before seeking change in others.
The Self Led Man is honest with himself, the men around him, and the world he inhabits knowing that honesty is a gateway to freedom.
The Self Led Man cultivates depth of presence in every moment, regardless of environment, circumstances, or obstacle.
The Self Led Man prioritizes the creation of an unshakable connection to stillness and consciousness, knowing that stillness informs action.
Rather than succumbing to distractions, numbing out, or caving in to addictions, the Self Led Man is committed to feeling deeply regardless of intensity.
The Self Led Man is committed to developing strength of the mind, physical body and emotional body through dedicated physical, and meditative practice
The Self Led Man honours and protects the feminine, both in himself, in women, children, and in the world.
The Self Led Man consciously practices the cultivation of awe, wonder, and a relationship to the unknown.
The Self Led Man is always a student and learns to Father himself––seeking other men and teachers who will be a mirror for him to see his ego and sharpen his consciousness.
The Self Led Man continuously refines his deepest purpose by paying attention to and honing the direction his choices, gifts, and contributions are taking him.
The Self Led Man connects to life and the presence of each moment through the rhythm of his breath.
The Self Led Man embraces death as a friend not foe, allowing grief, limitations and endings in life to polish his perception, heart, and soul.
I’ve been working for almost a decade as a NY-based coach, teacher, and speaker to help men (and women) from all over the world walk thought their darkness and grow in the realms of mental clarity, relational communication, actualizing their potential and sexual intimacy.
I have a no-BS attitude coupled with compassionate understanding of our own human limitations. I’ve coached hundreds of men (and women) through private coaching, group work, workshops, retreats and masterminds.
I have shared the stage with world class speakers like Gary Vaynerchuk, Lewis Howes, Danielle LaPorte, and many more.
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