Flyout Menu

Malina Parmar

How to Train Your Brain to Keep New Year’s Resolutions

by

February. The Kryptonite to our New Year’s Resolutions. 

As January progresses on it’s a good time to bolster your mental fortitude in order to keep the personal changes you made as New Year’s resolutions alive.  
The trouble with resolutions is that they are surface behavioral changes. They’re like rubbing Tiger Balm on an aching muscle. Resolutions often don’t alter the underlying thought patterns that determine our decisions and produce our actions. It’s easy for anyone to change their attitude or behavior for a short period of time, the challenge comes in sustaining that practice.
The error that most of us make is that we put all of our focus only on the resolutions we set. That may sound weird, but what about looking at every other area of your life that is directly influencing that resolution?

Our Environment Will Make or Break Our New Year’s Resolutions

Changing our old ways (and sticking to your New Year’s resolutions) means eliminating things that are going to remind our brain of how we used to be. If we are in the same environments as before, then what we see, hear and experience on a daily basis will consciously and subconsciously trigger thoughts and feelings of the past.
The trouble is those thoughts and feelings are exactly what led to the negative behavior we’re trying to change. So if we stay in these environments long enough, our willpower will eventually tap out and we will naturally go back to our old ways.
Dr. Joe Dispenza wrote a great piece on the effect our environment has on our New Year’s resolutions here.
As he says, “Everything we see, hear, taste, touch and smell is an environment. The music on your phone, the interior of your car, your social, and business networks, each room of your house, the places you visit, every person in your life.”
Although we want to make changes in our lives, in reality we’re not going to be able to dramatically alter every single environment we’re in. But we can do our best to limit those external triggers from igniting those memories and pulling us back into our old way of thinking.
Here are 7 changes you can make that will keep your New Year’s resolutions on track. They may seem small on the outside, but they have a big impact inside your brain and nervous system:

  1. Avoid brain fatigue:

Get sleep and manage your energy. When we’re tired it’s harder for us to regulate our emotions. This makes us more prone to getting down on ourselves. It also makes it hard for us to maintain willpower and a positive outlook when tempted by external pressures. So make sleep and rest your number one priority, as it will be a deciding factor in your decision making.

  1. Change your morning routine:

Not long ago, I went through some health challenges which caused me to wake up every morning feeling like absolute crap. You know when you have the flu and try to get out of bed in the morning? It felt like that and went on for over a year.
The interesting thing I found was that when I finally got better, I was often waking up in a bad mood. I wasn’t my normal, motivated self. I realized through that year I’d literally trained my brain to wake up expecting to feel bad.
In order to re-train my brain to feel good, I had to do something that would immediately shift my focus and emotional state upon rising. So, I began doing cardio for 20-30 minutes every morning, using exercise as a way to release those feel good brain chemicals: endorphins, dopamine, and serotonin.
Quite quickly I noticed that I was waking up with my usual, positive outlook on life and eventually didn’t need exercise to create it anymore.
Your brain recognizes the routines and rhythms of your lifestyle. So try to shake it up by starting your day off with exercise.
For more on this, read my article in Entrepreneur magazine on the science behind creating an effective morning routine. I use these strategies with my clients to create immediate and lasting change in their lives. 

  1. Shake up your route to work:

Find ways to change everything that happens before work. Is there a different route you can take to the office? Can you leave earlier or later? Can you switch up your mode of transportation? Can you head in early to read or work on other side projects?

  1. Rearrange your place:

Look at ways you can change the interior of your house, apartment, or bedroom. Can you rearrange furniture? Put up different pictures or new art? Is it time to paint? Sometimes what we see can instantly trigger an emotional reaction even if we don’t necessarily notice it. Freshen things up and see if it either eliminates negative feelings or ignites positive ones.

  1. Load new music on your phone:

Change up your tunes to shift your mental focus in the morning, in the car or at the gym. Are there any podcasts you can start listening too? I heard ManTalks has a pretty good podcast 😉

  1. Surround yourself with new people:

One of the toughest obstacles to creating personal change is the people around you. Most find it hard to announce to their friends that they are making changes in their lives. This doesn’t necessarily mean you have to end friendships in order to stick to your resolutions. But you can begin to surround yourself with people who are doing more of what you want to be doing. Who inspires you? Who do you admire? Who do you respect?

  1. Find an accountability partner:

If you want produce the behavior you most desire, find someone to keep you in line. Share your goals and meet regularly to check up on each other. Accountability is why Uber and Airbnb work so well. Nothing will help you keep your New Year’s resolutions as well as an accountability partner.
They force us to not get complacent and slip back into our old ways. Over time this creates a brand new habit that holds itself accountable.
[For more on Graham’s disruptive performance coaching listen to him on the ManTalks podcast. And to learn about the principle of Deep Work, listen to Cal Newport on the podcast.
Graham Young
Graham Young is the founder of Disruptive Performance Coaching and contributor to TIME, Fast Company, Entrepreneur magazine and Business Insider. He creates human performance programs for business professionals and organizations that optimize the brain’s ability to minimize fatigue, elevate productivity and unleash confidence.
 
 
Like what you saw? Subscribe to the ManTalks podcast on iTunes or Stitcher, and join the private ManTalks Facebook Community for conversations that matter. Facebook not your thing? Sign up to the ManTalks newsletter. Every week we’ll send you an email with the best articles and interviews we published that week.
[fc id=’3′][/fc]

Man Of The Week – Louka Parry

by

Nelson Mandela once said, “Education is the most powerful weapon which you can use to change the world.” Our newest Man Of The Week is Louka Parry and he couldn’t agree more! Louka is a Director of Programs for Education Changemakers, and he saw an opportunity in leveraging education as a tool to combat societal issues, scarcities and inequalities. Louka noticed the importance of education and the positive impact it can have in empowering somebody to live a fulfilled life of purpose and passion. His dedication to impacting the education of every young person in the world, regardless of their location, is both admirable yet necessary. To get involved, be sure to check out Education Changemakers and some of the other noble causes Louka supports.
Age: 31
What do you do?
I’m now an adult educator, working to unleash teacher-led innovation and leadership. As the Director of Programs for Education Changemakers, a BCorp, we work to enable teachers to lead positive change in their schools to make sure young people have an education worth having.
Why do you do it?
I teach because I want to see a better world, one where every person can achieve their own sense of greatness. It’s clear that we need to move from a world of scarcity to one of abundance and I see education as the key lever for social change. I’m also lucky to spend time with amazing people everyday, be they passionate teachers and leaders or my wonderful colleagues. It’s hard to underplay the importance of a great team culture to do great work.
How do you make a difference in the world? (Work, business, life, family, self)
I try to live deliberately and inspire others to lead positive, fulfilling lives where they find their purpose and use their passion to follow it. I’m incredibly lucky to support teachers from a diverse range of settings to be innovative and to use their leadership gifts to serve others. In life, I try to be the best version of myself as a positive energiser and an optimist.
What are 3 defining moments in your life?
– Firstly, the day my Papou (my Greek Grandfather) died in 2001. I was 16 and it was the first significant grief I had experienced and I realized I didn’t truly know him or much about my ancestry as the first Australian born from two immigrant families. He was too proud to speak broken English and I spoke no Greek. That moment unleashed a passion for history and linguistics and five languages later, I’m still on a relentless quest to be a hyperpolyglot.
– Second, was a lecture at university that spoke about teaching in remote communities in Central Australia. That lecture forever changed my life trajectory and 12 months later, I found myself being my teaching career in the great Australian outback. It’s also where I met Jess, a fellow teacher, who is now my long-term partner.
– Third, was the day I became a school principal. I was 27 and it was to be a test of my leadership nous, but it was rewarding work and having a committed, positive team of both Aboriginal and non-aboriginal educators made all the difference to both me and the students.
What is your life purpose?
It is said in life that you make a living by what you get, but you make a life by what you give. I hope to give my best, most authentic self to the world and know with satisfaction that I’ve made a difference. I hope to collect as many profound learning experiences as possible, which is one reason I love to travel, and make a positive dent on this planet while I’m fortunate enough to be here.
How did you tap into it?
I chose teaching because I wanted to help others. Education is a social leveller and anyone can experience success if given the right support. I’m a strong believer in egalitarian ideals and meritocracy and wanted to work in service of them. After all, teaching is the profession that creates all others.
Who is your Role-Model or Mentor?
I take my inspiration from many people around me and try to use their passion to spark my own. My role-model is my Yaiyai (Greek Grandma) who died a year ago. She had incredible resilience, strength, selflessness and so much love for others. I learnt so much from her and am grateful for the sacrifice she and others made so that I could have the opportunities I’ve had in Australia. Family is really important to me and I do my best to make them proud.
Do you have any daily habits? If so, what are they?
I meditate for 20 minutes, take a run or do yoga, read, listen to Spotify and connect with friends and ideas online. I also try do at least one thing that scares me and one random act of kindness, no matter how small. If the world need more of something, it’s kindness.
When do you know your work/life balance is off?
I’m incredibly privileged to do what I love so I like to think of this balance more as life/work integration. But when I find my normal positive self becoming cynical, impatient and frustrated, I know it’s time for rebalance, especially a bit of a digital detox (I’m as addicted to technology as most people nowadays).
Vulnerability is a challenge for most men – share a vulnerable moment from your life with us. 
The moment my parents separated. It was late in my life as I was 27 but it was completely unexpected, it totally challenged my concept of marriage as a life-long commitment, something I’m still working through. Thankfully, both my parents are happier now with partners who truly fulfil them.
What did you learn from it?
That life is never linear, ignoring authenticity is never promising and honesty is always the best position. If you are not happy, you need to change something. Life is too short for anything else.
If you are or were going to be a mentor for another man, what is one piece of advice you would give him?
I know it sounds morbid but I would ask him about his death. How would he like to have impacted the world? What would he want the eulogy to be about? And how close is he from achieving these things now? I personally find this strategy helps me to realise that my day-to-day worries don’t actually amount to much, and this forces me to make sure that I’m taking advantage of every opportunity to learn, grow and be my authentic self. Our energy is precious and we need to stick with the things that really matter.
How do you be the best partner (Boyfriend/Husband- past or present)
Be kind, forgiving and a clear communicator. My partner and I live between two states, so we connect daily and see each other every other week. She’s very driven running a preschool and I’m immensely proud of her. I also try to practice self-care and mediation to be the best version of myself I can be when we are spending time together. In this information saturated world, it’s as important to tend the mind as hit the gym.
Do you support any Charities or Not-for-profits? (Which one(s) and why?)
Amnesty International, Oxfam and YGAP. I find work of Y-GAP and Spark* particularly extraordinary as they support early stage social entrepreneurs in Africa, Asia and Australia. To date their program has helped improve the lives of over 100,000 people living in extreme poverty. I routinely get involved in their campaigns, like Polishedman. Definitely check them out.
If your life had a theme song, what would it be?
During the day: Watching You Breathe by Jacoo (mainly for the epic Alan Watts sample)
After dark: Daft Punk by Pentatonix (love a good acapella medley)
Where do you see yourself in 3 years?
A wiser yet relentlessly inquisitive man, still teaching and supporting others to make positive impact. Possibly undertaking a Ph.D, in great shape, beginning a family and enjoying the challenges of this crazy life.
What legacy do you want to leave for future generations?
I’d like to have inspired the people I’ve come across to live more fulfilled lives, and ultimately to work toward a world where everyone can flourish. To have contributed to the creation of a meaningful, relevant and inspiring education for every young person, no matter their location or background.
What One book would you recommend for any Man?
Linchpin by Seth Godin. Epic read.
If you know a Man that is making a positive impact on the world, we would love to hear from you! Contact us at [email protected]
Want new posts, podcasts and events delivered straight to your inbox? Sign up to ManTalks Mail.
[fc id=’3′][/fc]

These 3 Expressions Will Destroy Your Sex and Love Life

by

Change Your Language to Change Your Thoughts Around Sex and Love

A good male friend recently confessed to me something that, I believe, many men secretly think. He said,“If I meet a girl and after a few hours she’s already willing to have sex, I am disappointed. I can’t help thinking that she’s doing it with many other men – she’s just fucking around.” But I’ve come to believe that nothing is more dangerous for our sex and love lives than the negative way we think and speak.
It was the Nth time I had heard this comment about someone, but the derogatory charge behind those words hit me. I had to bring my friend’s attention to his words. This led to a deep and honest discussion about sexuality and relationships.
Often stopping for a moment to think about what we just said about intimacy can give us a valuable sneak peek into our subconscious ideas and values. The language we use around sex and love is especially charged. It expresses and conditions our attitude towards sex and love.
Here’s a few examples of negatively charged expressions we use abundantly, often without realizing the implications.

“He/She is just fucking around.”

Even in our, “sexually liberated” times, we still negatively judge anyone who lives his or her sexuality with multiple people. We consider any relationship that’s not strictly monogamous to be impure and lowly.
The term, “fucking around” reflects our fear and judgment of sexual promiscuity. It summons images of objectification, low respect, and zero emotional connection.
But this is a lot to assume, especially when speaking about anyone else but ourselves. Even is someone wants to explore sexuality with as many people as possible, isn’t that a positive way to spread sexual and emotional energy among many different people?
Like a sexual butterfly.
Experience shows that many intelligent, deep, loving, and caring people have done exactly this at some point of their lives.

“She’s easy.”

Sexually negative judgments are particularly severe towards women.
The definition of easy is, “free from worries or problems”. Sounds great, right? And indeed, easy is good in virtually all contexts of life. Having an easy life, being an easy person, taking it easy, easing up – we all like that.
How come then, that being an, “easy woman” is immoral and shameful? Why should a woman refrain from having an uncomplicated and easy sexual life, if she wants to?
With this expression, we may be unconsciously suggesting that we prefer women to be full of worries and problems around sexuality. This becomes so ingrained, that women will often even judge themselves harshly for desiring uncomplicated, “easy” intimate encounters.

“He/She has been cheating on him/her.”

This expression conjures dark stories of evil, cunning and deceit, such as the ones we see in movies and books. In the media, there is always a clear-cut judgment of everyone involved in a “cheating” episode: the victim, the perpetrator, and the accomplices are all designed to be either good or evil.
But reality has a way of escaping these simplistic projections. The “unfaithful wife” may turn out to be a loving and caring woman that tries to do her best to keep her emotional life healthy.
We may discover that the “cheating husband” adores his wife and family, while still needing emotional and sexual diversity. True, cheating implies that an agreement has been broken. But often, we realize that the problem lies more in the rigidness of the agreement itself, its inability to cope with the changes in our lives, rather than in the immorality of the people involved.

Changing Our Language Around Sex and Love

Although we don’t necessarily need to radically change our way of speaking about intimacy and relationships, bringing awareness to it never hurts. The temptation to negatively judge someone else’s love life can be very strong, but it is unlikely to produce any beneficial results, other than reinforcing our anger and righteousness.
So here is a practical suggestion: let’s be attentive to the negatively charged expressions we may use around sexuality and love. Most often, these expressions reveal an unnecessary negative bias of someone else’s life. At the very least, bringing awareness to them can give us an insight into our hidden fears and sore spots.
One day, we might even decide to get such expressions out of our vocabulary and open our minds and hearts to the incredible diversity that human beings have to experience connection, intimacy and sexuality.
[For more on sex and relationships, listen to the ManTalks Podcast]
Raffaello Manacorda (but you can call him Raffa, he likes that) is a Tantra teacher, author, and coach. After graduating with a degree in Philosophy, he spent more than a decade living in raffa_200x200alternative communities and working as a radical activist. He discovered Tantra early in his twenties, and then went on to explore the deep secrets of sex and spirit. He is the creator of The Network of Love, an international workshop on conscious relationships, and a regular columnist for The Elephant Journal. His current obsession is human evolution in all of its aspects, and he loves to rant about Tantra, sexuality, and conscious relationships.
Website: http://fragmentsofevolution.org
Connect with Raffa on Facebook, Youtube, or Twitter
Join the private ManTalks Facebook Community to discuss this article and all issues related to modern men and masculinity. Facebook not your thing? Sign up to the ManTalks newsletter. Every week we’ll send you an email with the best articles and interviews we published that week.

[fc id=’3′][/fc]

 

Rules for Focused Success in a Distracted World with Cal Newport

by

Cal NewportEpisode: 025

What does it mean to be in a state of ‘deep work’? Cal Newport explains on this episode.

Introduction:
Calvin Newport is an Assistant Professor of Computer Science at Georgetown University and has authored four books. Cal’s latest book, Deep Work, touches on the ability to focus intently on cognitively demanding tasks without distractions. Cal explains how we can use different methods to develop this deep work skill in order to become our most productive selves.
Paul is also the ManTalks ‘Man of the Week’ – which you can read all about here.
ManTalks Podcast on iTunes
Listen to it on iTunes
Mantalks Stitcher podcast
Listen to it on Stitcher
 
 
Key Takeaways:
[2:10] What does Cal do?
[3:35] Cal talks about his latest book, Deep Work.
[4:25] How does Cal personally use ‘deep work’?
[7:45] What’s the difference between deep work and state of flow or focus?
[9:05] Deep work is a skill. You have to practice deep work to get better at it.
[10:55] Chronic multi-taskers have lost their ability to completely focus 100% on a single task.
[12:20] How does Cal get into a deep work state?
[14:10] Cal shuts down his professional thinking in the evening.
[15:45] What kind of agreements does Cal have with his wife?
[19:10] Having a ritual or a routine helps you get into the right mental state.
[21:05] Cal briefly touches on four rules that can help with your habits.
[25:10] What kind of challenges does Cal face?
[28:50] What does Cal mean by embrace boredom?
[31:30] What is deep work versus what is not deep work?
[33:25] How can someone apply deep work in an office setting?
[38:00] How can managers effectively teach deep work in an office setting?
[39:30] Why does Cal write books?
[40:20] What drives Cal?
[41:50] What’s the best advice Cal has received?
[43:45] What kind of legacy would Cal like to leave behind?
[44:10] What does it mean to be a man today?

Mentioned in This Episode:
So Good They Can’t Ignore You by Cal Newport.
Deep Work by Cal Newport.

 
Music Credit:
J Parlange & Latenite Automatic (jesusparlange.com – lateniteautomatic.com)
 

Tweetables: 
“Deep work is a skill, not a habit. You have to practice at it to be better at it.”
“There are tons of tools that are useful, but focus on the ones that give you the most value.”
“Turning off Facebook and Twitter notifications is the first place to start.”
 
* * *
If want to support the show and help others find the show please LEAVE US AN ITUNES REVIEW! 
http://bit.ly/22HyGqv
Connect with the show on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ManTalks.ca/ , Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mantalks/ and Twitter:https://twitter.com/man_talks.
* * *

 

Why Men Set Goals (And Why That Might Not Be Serving You)

by

Every Friday morning ManTalks superstars Connor Beaton and Roger Nairn appear on Roundhouse radio to talk men’s issues. This week they talked goal setting and New Year’s Resolutions.

Have you struggled with your goals in the past? Have you made New Year’s Resolutions only to realize a day, week, or month later that you weren’t actually committed to the goal?

This short radio segment will help you understand why.

Click here to listen.

For additional listening on this topic, download the ManTalks podcast episode 23 with Roger Nairn and Connor Beaton, where they discuss the most effective way to reflect on a year past and create intentions and goals for a new year.

Check out the episode here.

Subscribe and download the ManTalks podcast on iTunes or Stitcher. Remember to rate the show and leave us a review. Let’s redefine what it means to be a man.

Join our private Facebook community for open, honest, and impactful conversations about the issues that matter most to men.

 

Man Of The Week – Paul Davidescu

by

Our first Man Of The Week for 2016 is Paul Davidescu, a local talent who co-founded Tangoo Entertainment Inc, a website and mobile application that allows users to consider moods and occasions to create the perfect dining experience in social settings. What started off as a mere idea to bring the right people together, Paul and his team have taken Tangoo to new heights where they have been featured on Dragon’s Den and CTV, to name just a few. Paul’s obsession with people and inspiring others to connect drove him to tweak his approach to growing Tangoo, where today he is an active member of the UBC Alma Matter and is constantly looking to see how he can integrate the next generation of talented and driven students into shaping the future of Tangoo and the dining experiences in Vancouver.
You can also listen to our interview with Paul on the ManTalks Podcast.
Age: 26
What do you do? (Work):
I’m the CEO of Tangoo, a free iOS app that matches your mood to the perfect restaurant experience. We work on fulfilling our mantra of creating memorable connections both between people and between consumers and businesses.
Why do you do it?
I am obsessed with bringing the right people together in memorable ways that make them happy and inspired to help each other make a maximum impact in the world. One of the most accessible and genuine ways to bring people together is by breaking bread at the dining table – something we all have in common.
By inspiring people to safely break the status quo of where they go out, we help them create new experiences that result in more memorable stories between themselves and the connections they most value in life. Deep relationships are a function of shared stories and with the tap of a button we provide a turnkey solution to create these micro-stories on the go, never settling for less than a memorable outing.
Proprietors are constantly looking to connect with the right customers by providing the most memorable experience possible. However, without being able to easily differentiate their brand, market to the right people, and build a relationship with customers, they are drowned in the competition. By focusing on the positives, Tangoo helps restaurants uniquely market what they do best today to the people that most appreciate it. We help them do it intelligently and safely without compromise of their brand.
How do you make a difference in the world? (Work, business, life, family, self)
I make a difference in the world by inspiring and connecting people.
Inspiring People:
I believe that inspiring people is best accomplished through leading by example and sharing how others can do it as well. You can demonstrate impact both through business success but also through storytelling to show people that success is also well within their reach if they follow their passions. By running a business that allows me to maximize impact to all my stakeholders coupled with the opportunity to be able to tell my story through amazing mediums like ManTalks, helps me do my part to inspire.
Connecting people to inspire each other:
Connecting people I believe is the ultimate way I make a difference. Throughout my entrepreneurial journey of making people’s social lives better, I have had the privilege of getting to know large amounts of people in meaningful ways. This has allowed me to connect the dots quickly and introduce people in ways that add high value whether it is meeting an entrepreneur with the same problems, a new friend in a new city, or a mentor who has already tackled a challenge they are facing today.
Nothing helps someone conquer uncharted territory more than by connecting with someone who has either done it, or is doing it right now. People need each other for inspiration and knowledge and I believe there are still many ways in which this process can be streamlined.
What are 3 defining moments in your life?
1) I was broken down by anxiety and self-doubt in my first year of business school. It was a dark time where I wasn’t sure if I was going to make it out. With support from my close network and a newfound trust in my body to pull through this hard time, I became more humble, open for help, and confident in myself.
2) Tangoo didn’t start as a mobile app, we started by bringing people together through progressive dinners that involved people connecting across multiple restaurants in one evening. While this aligned with our mission of creating memorable offline connections between people, the business model wasn’t scaleable. We decided to pivot and reinvent the old model to go mobile coincidentally the night before a 300-person pitch at Launch Academy Demo Day – sometimes pressure makes you do bold things. We were terrified but determined to go all in. To our surprise, we won Demo Day and proved to our peers that big risks do pay off. Nothing better equips you to take on big risks than a magical experience like this.
3) Dragons’ Den was defining because of the profound learning and personal growth process it took us through both leading up to the pitch, all the way until it aired across Canada. Firstly, the process of learning our business inside out and pitching to increasingly bigger crowds of people across the community made us stronger than we would have ever imagined. To have seemingly “failed” on the show by not making a deal, we took it as a challenge to prove to people that before our airdate seven months later, we would ship our product and raise more investment at a better valuation off the show than on it. It all came together on November 26, 2014 in front of our 500-person Dragons’ Den viewing party. The episode was luckily cut in a flattering way and people were inspired by the way we used an uncertain and seemingly negative situation to fuel us to new heights. It taught both our team and community about the power of a positive attitude.
What is your life purpose?
To connect and inspire people. I always ensure that the way I make a difference (covered in question #4) in my day-to-day life connects with my underlying life purpose.
How did you tap into it?
As mentioned earlier, I have been lucky enough to tap into it through Tangoo am able to connect and inspire my team, customers, and partners. Through media and great community word of mouth, I have been able to share my journey so far through media opportunities (listen to a recent one on Roundhouse Radio) and public speaking opportunities. Nothing is more fulfilling than sharing my story to observe how it inspires current and aspiring entrepreneurs to break through their challenges and uncertainties.
Who is your Role-Model or Mentor?
I have many mentors who guide me in different angles of life and through different types of problems. This is one great benefit I have been able to get from meeting so many inspiring people. On the personal end of things, it has to be my brother Jon, cousin Sam Sosa, and parents who are very grounded on many personal aspects I fight to improve while I balance them out with a demanding business. There are too many to count on the startup end of things but to names a handful who have been particularly instrumental, they are: Cameron Stewart, Henry Heeney, Peter Smyriotis, Steve Bell-Irving, Severine Arnaud, Mike Tan, Jayesh Parmar, Sean Pacey, and Nigel Tunnacliffe.
Mentors who inspire me and whom I have not all met (yet) are people like Tony Robbins & Tim Ferris (personal growth innovators), Brian Chesky (Airbnb CEO), and Simon Sinek (TED Speaking legend whom I was lucky enough to meet this summer).
Do you have any daily habits? If so, what are they?
If I have a productive week with not so many late-night events I like to get an early start with the following routine:
– Up at 5AM
– Drink a big glass of water
– 20 minutes of reading
– 90 minutes of focused attention on something that requires intense focus and/or is very uncomfortable to do like accounting, writing business plans, goal setting or a blog post.
– A swim or run followed by 10-minutes of body weight exercises before my shower
– A healthy breakfast complemented by an episode of How I Met Your Mother
– 5-10 minutes of meditation
Throughout the day, I try to make sure I listen to a podcast as I am walking in between meetings and when I am stationary waiting for a bus, I’ll read a book or tune into what’s happening in current events. It’s an amazing way to optimize your time and learning.
I am a very introspective person and find that handy journaling apps like Day One help you gather your thoughts to be able to look back to observe how much you have grown. Now, these are all mainly habits of how to be ultra productive but ones I am working on now are how to stay in touch with my personal needs and support network around me. 2016 will be a big opportunity to build better habits in my personal life that might be overshadowed by my professional life.
When do you know your work/life balance is off?
To be honest, it’s always going to be a bit off when you run a startup. But times when I realize it’s getting a little out of control are when I feel overwhelmed, stressed, and angry. I also hear about it from my network through patterns of feedback that seem to best process in my brain when I start hearing something more than once…it’s super important to take clues from your body and from your daily interactions with people to keep this in check.
Vulnerability is a challenge for most men – share a vulnerable moment from your life with us.
Vulnerable moments are usually your most defining ones. Besides the vulnerabilities from my 3 most defining moments I shared earlier, I have had various pockets of them ranging from breakups, bullying, breeches of trust from people I have brought close into my team, and scary moments of overexerting myself physically.
What did you learn from it?
If I had to boil them into a theme it would revolve around the idea of learning how to make personal growth hacks. Moments of vulnerability that look inescapable make you much more grateful, careful, and confident than ever before after you manage to survive them. I see vulnerabilities as prime opportunities to grow as a person and also to have a strong reason to open up your mind to new people and resources the world has to offer.
If you are or were going to be a mentor for another man, what is one piece of advice you would give him?
One can be a mentor to people in so many ways so this is a tough thing to boil down to one thing. Most of my mentoring experiences have been around helping early entrepreneurs get off on the right foot so I commonly find that there are understandably many insecurities and uncertainties an entrepreneur has to overcome. I usually advise that they do the following:
– Find out your Why. What drives you? What makes you passionate? This must be your north star.
– Don’t play hero. There are many people and resources out there happy to help and pay it forward only if you ask. Learn how to ask.
– Focus on always growing as a person. It’s essential to do before you can expect to really grow your startup and life happiness.
– Turn problems and vulnerabilities into opportunities and learnings. If you don’t, they will never go away.
– Find things that make you feel happy and empowered and don’t forget to make them habits.
How do you be the best partner (Boyfriend/Husband- past or present)
This is a question I hope to build great expertise in soon, as I have not been in any long-term romantic relationships. However, from the experiences I have had with other kinds of partnerships, it’s all about growing together, being empathetic, and not being afraid to be vulnerable. The best partners know exactly how to help each other grow and pull themselves out of tough situations. At the same time, it’s about being spontaneous and being able to create great excitement out of everyday things such as going out for dinner – thank goodness there’s an app for that 😉
Do you support any Charities or Not-for-profits? (Which one(s) and why?)
This is an opportunity to recognize some local Vancouver startups that are managing to do some amazingly innovative things with social entrepreneurship to inspire giving from the masses. One’s I have had the greatest opportunity to personally follow are Change Heroes, Chimp, Whisky Wisemen, and MealShare. Whether it is crowd sourcing how the masses builds schools or how they fight world hunger, what I love about these social enterprises is how they have made it incredibly fun and easy for the masses to give back.
If your life had a theme song, what would it be?
This was fun to Google. I would say a mashup of Bon Jovi’s “Its My Life”, Corey Hart’s “Never Surrender”, and R. Kelly’s “I Believe I Can Fly” sums it up pretty well.
Where do you see yourself in 3 years?
As I start to reach the tipping point in both my business and personal growth, I see myself continuing to power Tangoo and/or similar companies like it that focus on solving problems around discovering experiences, dating, personal growth, and helping startup companies reach their potential. I would like to take my public speaking, mentoring, and self-publishing passions to new heights and to different parts of the world.
On a personal side, I see myself making great strides in giving back to my body through increased triathlon training and personal development. I also would like to unleash the travel bug I caught when I lived in Barcelona by travelling the world with those closest to me to continue to build our relationships and the micro-stories that bring us closer together.
What legacy do you want to leave for future generations?
I believe that ones legacy is a result of how much impact and inspiration they leave behind. I hope that through my commitment to create companies, stories, and schools dedicated to connecting people and fulfilling human potential, my legacy will be one that inspires others to work towards making theirs count as well.
What One book would you recommend for any Man?
How To Win Friends And Influence Others – Dale Carnegie. A classic handbook for you to know how to manage and understand people in the most basic of ways. An honourable mention is to read Never Eat Alone by Keith Ferrazzi which talks about the importance of managing your network – see the rest on my reads on my Goodreads.com profile.
 
If you know a Man that is making a positive impact on the world, we would love to hear from you! Contact us at [email protected]

Authentic Goal Setting with Paul Davidescu

by

Paul DavidescuEpisode: 024

Paul talks on how you can better manage and stick to your new goals.

Introduction:
Paul Davidescu is the co-founder of Tangoo Entertainment Inc. Tangoo is both a web and mobile app that takes moods, occasion, and social graph, to craft the perfect outing of restaurants and venues tailored to social contexts. The app has also been featured on Global TV, CTV, and the Dragons’ Den. Paul talks to the guys on the subject of setting authentic goals for your self and how you can bring value to others.
Paul is also the ManTalks ‘Man of the Week’ – which you can read all about here.
ManTalks Podcast on iTunes
Listen to it on iTunes
Mantalks Stitcher podcast
Listen to it on Stitcher
Tweetables:
“To inspiring entrepreneurs, it doesn’t matter what your initial project is, because it’ll change in many ways.”
“There’s so many different ways to attack a single problem.”
“People often overvalue their ideas and undervalue who they are as a human being.”
Key Takeaways:
[2:35] What does Paul do?
[4:55] How did Paul get started as an entrepreneur?
[7:10] What are the key things you need to become a successful entrepreneur?
[11:00] How can you bring people together in memorable ways?
[13:50] Validate that what you think is a problem, is indeed a real problem for others.
[15:10] Paul has never really set goals before.
[16:00] Some people need goals, whereas others don’t.
[19:40] Paul shares on how he discovered a reliable way for him to set and stick to his goals.
[24:30] How do you plan goals ten years ahead?
[27:25] Sometimes plans change, so have a vision and set 1–5 year goals.
[29:55] Very strict goals can be counteractive.
[36:15] How do you show up for your team?
[40:05] Say no to people who won’t bring you value.
[41:55] Paul talks on how you can bring value to other people.
[54:30] It’s a big mistake trying to withhold your great idea.
[56:10] What does it mean, for Paul, to be a man today?
[1:01:20] What kind of legacy would Paul like to leave behind?
[1:03:55] What is Paul excited for in the upcoming months and the new year?

Mentioned In This Episode:
The Lean Startup by Eric Ries
Bold by Peter Diamandis and Steven Kotler

 
Music Credit:
J Parlange & Latenite Automatic (jesusparlange.com – lateniteautomatic.com)
* * *
If want to support the show and help others find the show please LEAVE US AN ITUNES REVIEW! 
http://bit.ly/22HyGqv
Connect with the show on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ManTalks.ca/ , Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mantalks/ and Twitter: https://twitter.com/man_talks.
* * *
 

Time for Reflection and New Goals with Roger Nairn and Connor Beaton

by

Episode: 023

Roger and Connor talk on how to set and achieve goals effectively.

 
Introduction:
Roger and Connor catch up on their year with ManTalks and talk about why every man should do a
reflection on the year past. Connor recommends a couple of key questions the audience can ask
themselves to provide better insight on how their year went. Roger and Connor also talk about their goals
with ManTalks, as well as their personal goals for the New Year.
ManTalks Podcast on iTunes
Listen to it on iTunes
Mantalks Stitcher podcast
Listen to it on Stitcher
Key Takeaways:
[0:35] For this episode, Roger and Connor will be reflecting on their year.
[2:15] Get rid of programs and phone apps that aren’t serving you.
[2:55] Why is reflection important?
[3:45] What is Connor’s process of reflection?
[9:15] Where do you thrive the most?
[10:05] Where have you struggled the most? Reflect on this so that you don’t fall into the same trap.
[12:25] High achievers carry a lot of guilt when they don’t accomplish their year-end goals.
[13:40] Roger plans to color more in 2016.
[14:20] Why do you have the goals that you have? Is it just for ego?
[16:00] Who are the people in your life that you’re thankful for?
[18:15] You don’t have to stop life just because you’re going into a new year.
[20:20] Connor has flexible goals.
[24:50] What can people look forward to from ManTalks in 2016?
[27:20] Feel free to email us guest recommendations.
[28:40] Roger recommends Think and Grow Rich to develop a healthy goal mindset.
[29:35] What will it cost you to achieve your goal and are you willing to pay the price?
[30:25] Be honest with yourself.
[31:00] What will your vision statement for 2016 be?
[32:45] Take the next week off to reflect on your year.
 

Mentioned In This Episode:
https://mantalks.com/
https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/school-greatness-lewis-howes/id596047499?mt=2
The School of Greatness by Lewis Howes
[email protected]
https://twitter.com/man_talks
https://www.facebook.com/ManTalks.ca/
Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill

 
Music Credit:
J Parlange & Latenite Automatic (jesusparlange.com – lateniteautomatic.com)
Tweetables:
“Where do I thrive and where do I struggle?”
“The transition into a new year, you don’t necessarily have to stop life and refresh everything.”
“What are you willing to sacrifice to accomplish your goals?”

Man Of The Week – Jason Sarai

by

He left the comfort of the corporate world of finance to pursue his passions of fashion and fitness. Little did Jason know that what started as a passion project would quickly unfold into a more rewarding and fulfilling life choice. Today, Jason is involved in all facets of fashion and fitness, from creating his own bespoke suit line, to being a VP of Catalyst Kinetics Group. A man of values, Jason felt a responsibility to give back to the community around him, so he co-founded his own not-for-profit 1KARMA, through this and other efforts, Jason has been involved in numerous fundraising efforts, totalling over millions of dollars, to support local organizations like BC Children’s Hospital, Covenant House Vancouver and the Vancouver Art Gallery. Jason is a true example of what being a successful man looks like when one gracefully balances pursuing your purpose with giving back to those less fortunate. Please welcome our newest Man Of The Week, Jason Sarai!
Age: 35 on Dec. 29th. No point holding onto 34 anymore ☺
What do you do? (Work)
I left the corporate world of finance to pursue my passions in fashion and fitness in 2013.
I’m a Bespoke Stylist and CEO of Style by Sarai – a multidisciplinary fashion, design, image and style consulting business.  I started a bespoke suit line, called Jason Sarai, using fabrics from Italy and England from world renown mills. The suits are tailored and customized here in Vancouver, Canada.
I’m also VP of Catalyst Kinetics Group in Burnaby with my role focusing on fitness, active rehabilitation and business development.
Finally, I’m the co-founder of a not-for-profit business 1KARMA, with my business partner Riaz Meghji.
Why do you do it?
I’ve been passionate about fitness and fashion my whole life. Through my careers, I now have the ability to help people become more confident, increase their self-esteem, and put their best foot forward by assisting them to achieve their health and style goals. I work almost twice the amount of hours as I did while I was in finance, yet it doesn’t feel like work.
How do you make a difference in the world? (Work, business, life, family, self)
Several years ago, I was advised to think globally and act locally in terms of giving back to the community. My good friend Riaz Meghji and I started 1KARMA, a not-for-profit business, to raise awareness and funds towards local charitable causes and organizations.
Being fortunate to be blessed with health and opportunity, I believe greatly in donating my time, through mentorship and services. With my businesses, I’m thankful to be able to provide services to events that support various causes and organizations.
Since 2013, I have also had the opportunity to showcase well-rounded individuals that give back to their community, through my editorial series Men of Vancouver and Women of Vancouver for Vancity Buzz. The professionals I feature are hardworking, give back to their community, and are confident with who they are and the legacy that they are creating. I believe that sharing their success stories help create awareness about individuals making a positive impact towards society. They are an inspiration.
What are 3 defining moments in your life?
– Tearing my ACL playing for the second time when playing NCAA men’s soccer in Pittsburgh causing a change in focus from pursuing professional soccer to education
– Changing careers from corporate finance to starting businesses in Fashion and Fitness
– Marriage
What is your life purpose?
My life’s purpose is to pursue my passions, play to my strengths, and have a meaningful impact through my work and to give back/pay it forward to those in need in the community, both locally and globally.
How did you tap into it?
I want to make people feel strong and confident through helping them reach their goals and leading by example. Whether that is through work or my relationships with family, friends and colleagues.
Who is your Role-Model or Mentor?
I’m fortunate to have multiple mentors of various ages that I seek business and life counsel from.  I’ve always believed in surrounding myself with people that are smarter or better at a set activity, task or skill. Whether it was during my sporting career to my life in business.
Do you have any daily habits? If so, what are they?
Healthy breakfast
Working out
Listening to music
Praying
Social media
Reading
When do you know your work/life balance is off?
My balance is constantly changing. I’ve let go of trying to find an ideal balance as I feel that life will shift focus naturally depending on how I prioritize what is happening in my life at that set time, from a relationship, health/fitness and career standpoint.  Therefore my work/life balance is at a constant flux and I don’t see that changing for some time.
Vulnerability is a challenge for most men – share a vulnerable moment from your life with us.
A vulnerable moment for me was leaving a corporate career as an investment advisor to pursing my passions in fashion and fitness, starting from scratch.
What did you learn from it?
Through following my passion, I was able to feel more connected with my work and new careers.  With Style by Sarai, I had to follow my instinct and pave a new pathway as there were only a few similar businesses to replicate globally. My passion and commitment allows me to keep pushing forward, which has created new opportunities. I believe vulnerability has the ability to create opportunity.
If you are or were going to be a mentor for another man, what is one piece of advice you would give him?
Don’t set any limitations. Think and dream BIG.
How do you be the best partner (Boyfriend/Husband- past or present)
– You constantly have to work at your relationship.  Communication is key.
– Date nights and small getaway trips to connect, reflect and detach from the weekly grind
– Build trust, honesty and vulnerability
– Have fun
– Make her smile
Do you support any Charities or Not-for-profits? (Which one(s) and why?)
I’ve always been a believer in supporting organizations, societies and charities whether it is through volunteering, mentoring or financially.
When I turned 30 years old I realized that I was spreading myself thin through various causes without being truly connected to any.  I couldn’t comfortably state how my funds donated were being distributed.
Being in finance as an investment advisor at the time, it made sense to do my due diligence and understand exactly what my money and time were being donated towards.  It was at this point that I reached out to my good friend Riaz Meghji, host of Breakfast Television, about the idea of starting a not-for-profit business as we both were attending and supporting several events through work and our own personal network.
We started 1KARMA in 2012 with the goal to raise funds and awareness towards different organizations and causes every year.  We have worked with and supported Covenant House Vancouver, Camp Goodtimes with Canadian Cancer Society, and DUDES Club in DTES. We have raised approximately $50,000 thanks to our donators and corporate sponsors.
In September, I was invited to be a Co-Chair of the Nordstrom Opening Gala. More than 2,000 people attended a sold-out gala and fashion show and the event raised $420K benefitting BC Children’s Hospital Foundation, BC Women’s Hospital & Health Centre Foundation, Covenant House Vancouver and the Vancouver Art Gallery.
0279-3
This past November, Riaz and I represented 1KARMA and joined 53 local executives and professionals of Vancouver to raise awareness and funds for homeless youth and Covenant House. This was our 4th year of sleeping out in an alley in downtown Vancouver to experience a small glimpse of the reality that homeless youth face on a daily basis. I’m proud to be part of a collective effort that surpassed the fundraising goal of $450K by raising $670K to this deserving cause and great organization.

Annual Executive Sleep Out supporting homeless youth and raising funds and awareness for Covenant House Vancouver
Annual Executive Sleep Out supporting homeless youth and raising funds and awareness for Covenant House Vancouver

If your life had a theme song, what would it be?
I have two:
One Man Can Change the World – Big Sean ft Kanye and John Legend
Don’t Worry, Be Happy – Bobby McFerrin
Where do you see yourself in 3 years?
Running a global lifestyle consulting company that focuses on image consulting, clothing, fitness and health.
What legacy do you want to leave for future generations?
I want to share my message globally about taking care of your health through fitness and nutrition and putting your best foot forward through style and fashion. Through this, I want people to become their own style icon.
What One book would you recommend for any Man?
Four Agreements: A practical guide to personal freedom by Don Miguel Ruiz
 
If you know a Man that is making a positive impact on the world, we would love to hear from you! Contact us at [email protected]
Want new posts, podcasts and events delivered straight to your inbox? Sign up to ManTalks Mail.
[fc id=’3′][/fc]

Tim JP Collins – Understanding Anxiety

by

Tim JP CollinsEpisode: 022

Tim talks on how you can better manage your anxiety.

 
 
 
Introduction:
There is no quick fix for anxiety, which is why Tim JP Collins is the host of The Anxiety Podcast. He is also a life coach and provides peer support about anxiety using his own personal experiences. He talks to Connor and Roger on the topic of anxiety, how to cope with it, and why it’s such a passionate topic for him.
ManTalks Podcast on iTunes
Listen to it on iTunes
Mantalks Stitcher podcast
Listen to it on Stitcher
Key Takeaways:
[1:20] Why did Tim become a life coach?
[9:30] What is anxiety?
[12:00] Can anxiety be ‘cured’?
[16:50] Stress vs. anxiety?
[22:45] Humans have a natural negative bias.
[24:25] How can men handle sexual performance anxiety?
[26:45] What’s Tim’s coaching process like?
[36:10] Everybody struggles with something. You’re not alone.
[40:10] Tim talks about his podcast.
[42:50] What does it mean to be a man today?
[44:40] A man will have the tough and uncomfortable conversations. A boy will not want to talk about it.
[46:00] What’s Tim’s definition of success?
[50:45] 70% of CEOs don’t have MBAs.
[51:10] What kind of legacy would Tim like to leave behind?
 

Mentioned In This Episode:

 
Music Credit:
J Parlange & Latenite Automatic (jesusparlange.com – lateniteautomatic.com)

Tweetables:
“Anxiety is where you’re worried about the future and constantly going through worst case scenarios.”
“Humans are designed with a negative bias. We’re designed to look for the bad stuff. We were designed to survive.”
“Everybody is better off by having those tough conversations.”

Growing Up Without Male Role Models with Ryan Michler

by

Episode: 021

Why is it so important for young boys and young adults to have a father figure in their life?

Introduction:
Ryan Michler is the founder of Order of Man, a website designed to help men succeed in business, family, and everything in between. Ryan was inspired to create this valuable resource for men, because he grew up without a strong father figure in his life. Ryan talks to both Connor and Roger on what it was like growing up with unreliable step-fathers, men’s desire to be constantly challenged, and why the military’s structure can sometimes be a good thing.
 
In this Podcast, Ryan talks about growing up without a proper male role model, the impact, being in the military and why he start the Order of Man.
 
This Podcast episode is for men who want to overcome adversity, build a brotherhood and who are looking to be challenged in their life.
ManTalks Podcast on iTunes
Listen to it on iTunes
Mantalks Stitcher podcast
Listen to it on Stitcher
Key Takeaways:
[1:00] What does Ryan do?
[1:35] Ryan never had a male role model growing up.
[3:55] Why has the father figure become more and more absent in young boys’ lives?
[5:10] What’s the biggest challenge for a man today?
[7:25] In order to grow, men need to be challenged.
[9:45] When did Ryan realize something was missing in his life?
[11:20] You become a man when you accept personal accountability and responsibility for your own life.
[14:20] Ryan talks about the military.
[16:45] Exercise and reflection are the two most important elements every man should incorporate.
[18:40] Your decisions are going to carry over into other aspects of your life.
[20:50] Number one book: Resilience by Eric Greitens
[25:10] Ryan talks on why he started his podcast.
[27:40] Who are Ryan’s mentors?
[30:20] What are Ryan’s core beliefs?
[36:50] Have clarity for what you want to do or else you’ll fill your life with miscellaneous stuff.
[39:00] Listen to your gut.
[40:30] What legacy would Ryan like to leave?
 

Mentioned in This Episode:
The Millionaire Mindset by Gary Keller
Resilience by Eric Greitens

 
Music Credit:
J Parlange & Latenite Automatic (jesusparlange.com – lateniteautomatic.com)
Tweetables:
͆We’ve become so self-centered that we forget that there’s other people.”
͆We idealized the lone wolf syndrome and yet we are tribal by nature.”
͆Men naturally thrive off being challenged.”

Creating a High Value Network with Jayson Gaignard.

by

Episode: 020

Jayson talks on the power of your network and the value of people.

Introduction:
Jayson Gaignard is the founder and talent scout for MastermindTalks.com. He has had incredible guests like Tim Ferriss, Guy Kawasaki, and Lewis Howes deliver inspirational and motivational talks at his event. Jayson talks on the importance of creating meaningful connections and relationships with others, as well as shares a bit of his life story on how he was able to get out of massive amounts of debt.
 
In this podcast episode, Jayson Gaignard talks about how to create a high value network and how as a man this is one of the most important things you can do to succeed. He talks about how your network often equals your net worth and explains not only how to build your network, but how to maintain it.
ManTalks Podcast on iTunes
Listen to it on iTunes
Mantalks Stitcher podcast
Listen to it on Stitcher
Key Takeaways:
[1:40] ManTalks is still looking for a social media expert.
[2:40] How did Jayson get started?
[4:50] How did Jayson get into debt?
[7:00] With very little money, Jayson doubled down and started investing in himself.
[10:15] The integrity of your word is very important.
[12:45] Jayson became successful because he took risks.
[14:25] Who taught Jayson that making connections is important?
[19:45] Are you surrounding yourself with the right people?
[20:05] How did Jayson turn his life around?
[23:55] Think about the worst case scenario all the time.
[25:35] Why is networking important to men?
[29:45] How can you develop better connections with others?
[31:25] Do your research on how you can deliver value to others.
[34:00] Connor does a quick recap.
[36:20] Relationships are sometimes like a bank account that you want to always keep investing in.
[40:30] When you play for the applause, you put your happiness in the hands of somebody else.
[41:50] How does Jayson make sure the people attending his event are of high value?
[48:00] Community is incredibly important for creating a great product.
[49:05] Jayson recommends several books.
[50:35] What does it mean to be a man these days?
[53:20] What legacy would Jayson like to leave behind?
[55:20] Jayson talks about the exciting things happening in his life right now.
 

Mentioned in This Episode:
Never Eat Alone by Tahl Raz
Seeking Wisdom by Peter Bevelin
Four Hour Week Work by Tim Ferriss
Man’s Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl

 
Music Credit:
J Parlange & Latenite Automatic (jesusparlange.com – lateniteautomatic.com)

Instagram Feed

ManTalks © |  Terms & Conditions | Privacy Policy | Disclaimer

ManTalks © 2024

Terms & Conditions | Privacy Policy | Disclaimer

Application

Which Statement Best Applies To You?

Click the button below.