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5 Signs That It’s Time to Join a Men’s Mastermind

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Should You Join a Men’s Mastermind?

How do you know if it’s right for you? Read on to uncover the signs that it might be time to join a men’s mastermind.
Life is incredibly short and you’re going to die sooner than you think. Not to mention the fact that everyone you have ever known will die, too. And it’ll probably happen sooner than you expect. I don’t want to make you sad or scare you. I want to create a sense of urgency within you. I want to wake you up. What would you do if you only had 5 months left to live? How about 5 years?
The only way to avoid disappointment on your death bed is to live your life to the fullest starting right now.
But you can’t do it alone. High-performing men intentionally surround themselves with others who will challenge and support them.
So ask yourself: “Is my community helping me live my life to the fullest?” Most men I talk to admit that they’re not being challenged and supported by their community, and thus not growing. But what do you do about it?
This is where the search for a mastermind begins.
Here are the top 5 signs that it might be time to join a men’s mastermind.

1. You’re ready to live with purpose.

David, a successful entrepreneur, was an early member of our mastermind. He built a multi-million dollar business and by most people’s measures, had it all.
Yet, when David joined the men’s mastermind, the other members challenged him to dig deeper. It soon became self-evident to David that something was missing.
Yes, he’d built a business. But, had he built a life? After a deep self-audit, he realized that everything was for himself. He’d forgotten to include his family in some of this plans. And purpose was foreign to him.
To grow he knew he needed to live with more purpose. He searched his heart in the mastermind and found gold. He knew he could take his valuable business success and begin to leverage it to serve others.
Soon, he shifted priorities. 
His family relationships began to flourish. And he made an exit plan that would allow him to dedicate the second half of his life to giving back.
Purpose. Are you living into yours? A well-crafted men’s mastermind will guide you towards purpose, which encompasses much more than just money or work success.

2. You want a deeper level of self-awareness.

Do you ever catch yourself doing something and have no idea why? Ever look at your job or your relationships and wonder how you got there?
We live entrenched patterns without even knowing it. They can be difficult to see, especially without an external mirror [others to challenge us].
The difficulty in identifying ones own thinking faults is made even more difficult by a culture that’s more concerned with selfies and status updates than fulfillment.
I’ve met legions of men who didn’t realize the extent of their life dissatisfaction until taking a step back to look at life from a different angle. This realization typically devastates the individual, but the journey they embark upon inspires themselves and others.
A well-designed men’s mastermind will always do two things simultaneously: a) challenge you and, b) support you. You become more self-aware by examining your actions, goals, beliefs, and motivations alongside a group of other kick-ass men then taking massive action towards positive change.
Are you even self-aware, bro?
Or, better stated: does your community challenge and support your self-awareness? If not, it might be time to join a men’s mastermind.

3. You’re ready to grow your impact.

Ever achieved something for yourself and felt a bit empty afterwards? That’s because, as humans, we need to give as well as get. In speaking with thousands of men I’ve found that we reach deeper levels of fulfillment when helping others along the way.
One of our mastermind members, Danny, came to this realization while diving deep into purpose and fulfillment. He owns a manufacturing business and his peers saw him as a huge success, but in his private moments he knew he hadn’t been lit up by his business in a while.
Meanwhile, his heart sang with joy whenever working with young people. Danny had a rough time in his teens and early 20s and made some regretful mistakes.
He wanted to help others avoid falling into the same traps, and as he leaned on the support and encouragement of the mastermind he clarified his vision to serve the youth.
Danny made some key realizations and slowly began passing his day-to-day business activities to a trusted manager, using his newfound free time to launch a youth engagement program in his community.
I loved watching him light up as his impact [and fulfillment] grew.
To be effective, a men’s mastermind must be deliberately organized around impact and fulfillment in addition to personal success.
Are you satisfied with your impact in the world? If not, it might be time to join a men’s mastermind.
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Want to learn to build your own mastermind? Click the orange button to get the Mastermind Builder Checklist. It will arrive in your inbox in about 8 minutes:

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4. You’re ready to be held accountable by other high-performers.

After reading hundreds of applications to our mastermind and speaking to thousands of men, I’ve noticed some trends. Most modern men love their friends and social circle, but they do not feel challenged or supported by their peer group.
‘Socializing’ as we call it is usually organized around lighthearted fun. The worst faux pas to make is instigating a deep discussion while out for ‘beer with the boys.’
There is nothing wrong with fun. We all need it.
But then, where do you go to be surrounded by a culture of growth and excellence? Far too often, male relationships lack honesty, openness, and a willingness to challenge each other on a deeper level.
Similarly, most work environments don’t foster the values that are important to self-aware, impactful, and high-performing men. They almost seem purpose-built to stifle creativity and encourage obedience.
This leaves many men moving between a day at their unrewarding job to an evening with their complacent friends. A well-coordinated men’s mastermind gives high-performers the room and resources to blossom into their fullest potential.
Are you being held accountable to a higher standard? If not, it might be time to join a men’s mastermind.

5. You crave passion in your life.

One of the clearest signals to me that someone is in need of mastermind group support is when they move through life disinterested. They watch movies or sports to see other men passionately pursuing their dreams while realizing that same passion is missing from their own life.
Everything feels lackluster. They are unsure where their curiosity and excitement went and how they can get it back. 
Joining a well-formed men’s mastermind provides the spark that was lacking. The challenge/support dynamic acts as a pressure cooker to force out the goals and dreams that are buried deep within.
Most of the time men have great ideas and passions but lack the commitment and urgency to take action and pursue those goals.
Do you feel a bit dull sometimes? Are you concerned that you’ll never have a lust for life again? If so, it might be time to join a men’s mastermind.

So, What Are You Going To Do About It?

There is an ongoing joke in our community that I’m the ‘Instigator in Chief.’ So, don’t be surprised that I’m going to challenge you right now.
Did any of the above resonate? If so, it might be time for you to join a men’s mastermind.
Reach out and to take action. Whether it’s applying to our mastermind, building your own, or tracking down something on the internet, a well-formulated mastermind will yield exponentially better results than hacking away at the branches on your own.
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Connor Beaton is the founder of ManTalks, an international organization focused on men’s health, wellness, success, and fulfillment. Connor is also an international speaker, podcast host, CEO, and leader of ManTalks mission to build a global brotherhood. Before founding ManTalks, Connor had a brief career as an opera singer and worked at Apple, leading high-performance sales and operations teams. Since founding ManTalks, Connor has spoken on stage at TEDx, taken ManTalks to over a dozen cities internationally and has been featured on platforms like Forbes, Influencive, HeForShe, The Good Men Project, UN Women, CBC, CBS, and the National Post.
Ready to go deeper? Click the big orange button to get the 5-Minute Mastermind Builder Checklist:

Man Of The Week – Chris Unwin

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Our newest Man Of The Week is a Man who believes in the power of connection, community and creativity. More important though is the role these factors play in positively impacting our media, culture and mannerisms as a society. Chris Unwin is the Founder and Executive Director of ‘Free’, a creative studio that promotes collaboration with artists so brands can connect with millennial consumers in person, and across the social web. Chris is a founding member of two national media brand launches- MTV Canada and Dose Magazine. His unique and versatile approach to brand management is illustrated through his work with partners such as Apple, Bell, Microsoft, Nokia, RIM, Rogers, Sony, Virgin Mobile, and all major record labels, to name just a few big brands.

What may seem like a regular agency, Chris has formulated a secret recipe that promotes collaboration between brands hoping to communicate an emotion/story, creative artists who have the experience, but may lack the platform, to produce engaging content that inspires millennials. His work has given previously-unknown artists the space to showcase their talents and blossom into leading figureheads in the community who help shape our everyday culture. Chances are you’ve come into contact with branding that Chris was directly, or indirectly, involved in without really knowing the story behind the man. Check out his story below!

Age – 34

What do you do? (Work)
Founder and Executive Director of Free, and our community-powered channel, The Creator Class.

Why do you do it?
Because I believe in the power of community, creativity and entrepreneurship and that, when given the chance, our generation can positively impact our media and culture.

How do you make a difference in the world? (Work, business, life, family, self)
Ultimately, I see myself as building “sandboxes” – spaces and moments in time that are opportunities for people I value to come together, share experiences, and create together. Though so much of my focus is currently applied to work, I intend to extend such a strategy to my friendships and family.

What are 3 defining moments in your life?
1. Leaving Vancouver in favour of a media/music career in Toronto.
2. Leaving a comfortable, established career path at MuchMusic and MTV.
3. Finding the audacity to start Free. Come to think of it, every defining moment has been borne out of discomfort.

What is your life purpose?
To pursue my passions for a living, and to empower others around me to do the same.

How did you tap into it?
By losing patience with my own complacency, and following gut instinct.

Who is your Role-Model or Mentor?
Role Models – There are a number of careers that have informed my approach such as Stephan Sagmeister, Alain De Botton Jeff Staple, Seth Godin.
Mentors – My mother, my financial advisor and coach Josh Zweig from LIVECA.

Do you have any daily habits? If so, what are they?
I try to maintain “Inbox Zero” daily – the act of clearing out all emails by the end of the day. By assigning tasks, and capturing action items in my productivity apps, I diminish the chance for things to fall through the cracks.

When do you know your work/life balance is off?
If I fail to make my bed in the morning. Failing to accomplish this simple first task of the day is the “canary in the coal mine” for my state of mind. This sentiment was once brilliantly conveyed by Admiral William McRaven.

Vulnerability is a challenge for most men – share a vulnerable moment from your life with us.
I felt like a fool the first time I practiced yoga. I was awkward, tangled, and feeling totally out of my element. However, over time I adjusted and it’s led to balance and positivity at some crucial points in my life.

What did you learn from it?
Embracing being terrible at a new activity can open doors in life.

If you are or were going to be a mentor for another man, what is one piece of advice you would give him?
Establish life priorities, and stick to them. Don’t waste time on anything else.

How do you be the best partner (Boyfriend/Husband- past or present)
Be present. See them, listen to them, feel them consciously.

Do you support any Charities or Not-for-profits? (Which one(s) and why?)
To date, we’ve been fighting to make a very pro-social for profit model succeed. Though our projects have been associated to causes idiosyncratically, we’ve yet to align to a specific charity, which I’d like to change in 2017.

If your life had a theme song, what would it be?
“Now I’m Ready” by Arcade Fire

Where do you see yourself in 3 years?
Instigating collaborations centered around creativity, entrepreneurship, and the future of work with collaborators I admire. Spending my time between Toronto, New York and Europe.

What legacy do you want to leave for future generations?
That one can create the conditions of their own freedom with creativity, intellect, and determination.

What One book would you recommend for any Man?
“Multipliers: How the Best Leaders Make Everyone Smarter” by Liz Wiseman and Greg McKeown

Man Of The Week – Michael Van Osch

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Michael Van Osch is our newest Man Of The Week! Michael coaches men on acquiring dynamic leadership skills and developing fulfilling and lasting relationships and marriages. After twenty years in sports marketing and advertising, Michael opted for a change and trained to become a professional actor, subsequently touring the one-man Broadway show “Defending The Caveman” for four years across North America. A man that wears many hats and possesses many talents, today Michael is an entrepreneur living in Atlanta with his beautiful wife Lisa and also leads the marketing and PR efforts for a local nonprofit organization. Check out the rest of Michael’s humbling and inspiring story as he follows his passion to impact and empower others around him.

Age: 50

What do you do? (Work)
Marketing Executive and I coach motivated, experienced men in leadership and relationships.

Why do you do it?
I do both because I enjoy them and they allow me to make a difference for others while using my talents. Working with men is definitely a calling and something I’ve been involved in for a long time.

How do you make a difference in the world? (Work, business, life, family, self)
My goal is to help other men live the life they’ve always wanted, which means living up to their full potential in all areas. It’s not simply a matter of confidence, it’s learning the right information that most of us either weren’t taught or have moved away from over time and as the world tries to soften us. 
What are 3 defining moments in your life? 1) Moving to the U.S. from Canada in my late twenties. 2) Meeting my incredible wife. 3) Forming a men’s group in Atlanta sixteen years ago that still meets every month.

What is your life purpose?
I believe it’s to help other men. For whatever reason, I’ve been exposed to great men and critical information in my life and it’s my purpose to pass on the learning.

How did you tap into it?
I tapped into this through my own desire to change and grow and to stop making the mistakes that were preventing me from being the man I wanted to be. I hate to settle, so I don’t. I keep on keeping on. I have high standards for my life and it’s a journey of learning and uncovering that I’ll always be on.
Who is your Role-Model or Mentor? I had a great mentor who passed away a few years ago now – he was more than a high school coach, he opened my eyes to the possibilities in the world and to going for it. My dad is also a mentor, who through a fairly strict upbringing taught me to keep my word and do the right thing.  I also have historical figures that I use as role-models in various ways, especially Winston Churchill.
Do you have any daily habits? If so, what are they?
I meditate each morning before I do anything else and I pray each night.
When do you know your work/life balance is off?
The concept of work/life balance is very overplayed and not the goal in my mind. If you’re building the life you want, there will be times when your life will be seriously focused in one area and must be in order to make your goals reality. But it’s our responsibility as men to take care of the other areas as well. Sometimes you may not have the nicest lawn in the neighborhood because you’re focused on a critical time in your business, and that’s okay. You do what you can to not have the worst lawn either but it’s not the priority. I believe we know when something has to change – you feel it and you know if you push to much further without changing that something has got to give. The man who always wants to be in perfect balance will never accomplish anything of note.
Vulnerability is a challenge for most men – share a vulnerable moment from your life with us.
There was a point in my life almost 20 years ago where I became very depressed, unhappy in my work and relationships and frankly burnt out. The spark had definitely gone out and I didn’t know how to relight it.
What did you learn from it?
I learned that nothing is permanent and even your darkest hour will pass if you hang on and keep trying to take that one step forward.  This is when you need to lean on other men that you trust.
If you are or were going to be a mentor for another man, what is one piece of advice you would give him?
I know from experience that many men are like I was – they’ve become a lone wolf in their lives. Most of us had a group of friends in high school and/or college, but once we go out into the world, get married and start families we tend to become a lone wolf without close male friends to rely on, to get advice from and who will hold us accountable. My biggest piece of advice is to look for a small number of men that have your back and you can trust. You’ll have to work at this to create it but the payoff is immeasurable in your career, your marriage and your life trajectory. It could be a men’s group or simply one or two guys, but it has to be intentionally cultivated, it won’t just happen. Connecting with ManTalks is great way to make that happen.
How do you be the best partner (Boyfriend/Husband- past or present)
Couple of key things – my wife and I have a rule that we deal with an issue between us asap, solve it and once solved (and that’s key), then we don’t bring it back up later. When we argue, we always keep it respectful and there is no name calling – if you go there you’re opening a door to future trouble. We know each other’s love language and don’t expect the other to be the same person we are; we place a lot of respect on our differences.

Do you support any Charities or Not-for-profits? (Which one(s) and why?)
I support ChildFund and sponsor a boy in Indonesia as well as All Grace Outreach which helps orphans and widows.

If your life had a theme song, what would it be?
Wow, good question. I’d probably have a theme song for each year as I always have a word or motto for the year that motivates me. This year’s focus is Perseverance. 

Where do you see yourself in 3 years?
In 3 years I see helping a lot more men get to where they want to be through coaching and sites like www.RealMenRealMarriage.com and the ‘top-secret’ One Thousand Men Project that is currently in the works. 

What legacy do you want to leave for future generations?
Teaching men how to lead themselves, their families and their communities. John Maxwell says that everything rises and falls on leadership and I believe that. If we all become the men we know we can be, the world will be taken care of.

What One book would you recommend for any Man?
There are so many, but without a doubt I recommend everyone read The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz. If implemented, those principles alone can set a you free. It’s been said that leaders are readers and that is absolutely true of every leader I know. The bigger they are the more they read. Be discerning but take advantage of the wisdom that is out there. If you’d like to be on my reading list leave me a message at michaelvanosch.com.
If you know a Man that is making a positive impact on the world, we would love to hear from you! Contact us at [email protected]
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Man Of The Week – Jordan Bower

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While life started decades ago, his real life adventure and the path to his purpose began in 2010 when he walked by himself from Canada to Mexico. Jordan Bower begun his 316-day journey most would only dream off doing. Over the 316 days he spent on his feet — first crossing Washington State, before heading down the Oregon Coast into the redwoods of Northern California, and all the way across the Golden Gate Bridge and making his way down to the white sandy beaches in Southern California — Jordan learned his story was my most valuable possession. By the time Jordan reached the Mexican border, he learned his experience gave him a story, one that would help shape his reality, as a life story does to most. Jordan also learned that storytellers were made, not born and that he had a unique ability to help people share their stories. Storytelling sets the framework for the way we engage with one another, and by changing how we tell our story, we set the foundation for meaningful and innovative work, authentic communication and mutually beneficial relationships.
In 2015, Jordan moved to the small city of Victoria, BC, where he started a communications business,  offering story-telling services professionally to clients. His hard work was honoured with an invitation to teach at the Future of Storytelling Summit — an annual event in New York City that also included teachers like Al Gore, Margaret Atwood and Edward Snowden. Today, Jordan has the good fortune of working with dozens of interesting and inspired clients around the world. Each day, he learns more about integrating what he has learned on the road to benefit my clients and community.
As Jordan humbly once said, “I’m one of those lucky people who does meaningful work I love that engages my creativity. I feel privileged for what I’ve experienced, and excited for the road ahead.”
Age – 35
What do you do? (Work)
I’m a Strategic Storyteller. In my work, I help leaders, teams and brands find a more dynamic, purposeful and inclusive way to frame what they do, and to connect it with others.
Why do you do it?
We live in a time that pundits are calling the Age of Loneliness — a time when more of us spend more of our lives isolated and online. I think storytelling is the antidote. By making sense of our own stories and by listening to the stories of others, we become more conscious of who we are — and more conscious of the mystery that surrounds and fills us.
For me, it’s really fulfilling to help my clients put language around ideas they didn’t feel confident expressing before, and to restore authentic storytelling to the business world, which had rejected it. I love what I am lucky enough to do.
How do you make a difference in the world? (Work, business, life, family, self)
This is a loaded question — we all make a difference in the world. The world isn’t static; it changes with us, with every conversation we have and every step we take. I don’t believe that anything I will ever do will meaningfully change what I think is bad about the world. I think that’s self-aggrandizing. Instead, I make choices that are fun, personally challenging and in integrity with my inner self. It’s an honour when those choices affect other people positively.
What are 3 defining moments in your life?
In 2010, I came home one day to find a note on my kitchen table from my girlfriend. Her closet and wardrobe were empty; she’d left me for another man. I panicked. Within weeks, I had launched a Kickstarter project, raising more than $8,000 to walk from Canada to Mexico — it was an idea that we’d had together; by launching the project, I wanted to show her how committed I was to the relationship in order to win her back.
But I couldn’t convince her. At the end of the summer, with nothing more than a backpack on my back, I left Vancouver, Canada, with the intention of walking the length of the West Coast.
That trip was full of defining moments. In the early days, I was convinced that my now ex-girlfriend would “come to her senses” and show up at my tent the next morning. It took about three weeks and 200 miles for me to realize that, probably, she wasn’t showing up. Soon, the doubt and shame I felt about having “driven her away” started transforming into deeper inquiry into myself: like, how did I end up in a relationship with someone who would leave me like that? That was a Pandora’s Box of emotional self-examination, forcing me to dive deeper into my upbringing, my past relationships, my parent’s divorce and my own sense of self-pity, helplessness and pessimism about what it would mean to actually grow up.
As I made my way south — through Washington and Oregon, and into the Redwoods of Northern California, heading for the Golden Gate Bridge — I was faced with obstacle after obstacle — opportunities, I realized for me to “take the blue pill” and stop digging deeper into myself. There were cold nights on isolated beaches; couches surfed in the meth-ridden grow ops of Northern California; sad, intimate encounters with so many strangers met along the way. I cried often — for myself, for my lost relationship, and for the people I was meeting, who were forcing me to become less judgemental of others and more compassionate — more real, I think.
It’s still hard for me to dive deep into that experience. The emotions I experienced on the way were so powerful, and so intense.
What is your life purpose?
I think, at my age, that answering this question would be inappropriate. Ask me again in 35 years.
Who is your Role-Model or Mentor?
I have an increasingly intimate relationship with my own inner wisdom that I am learning to trust beyond whatever doubt arises in my head. I am incredibly indebted to a counsellor I have in Los Angeles, who has spent the last 9 years helping me better understand my spirituality — and through it, myself.
Do you have any daily habits? If so, what are they?
Most of my habits are things that I criticize myself for — “unspiritual” things like watching sports and Facebook. I love the Toronto Blue Jays and Toronto Raptors in a way that I still don’t completely understand. One of the things I do every day is check in with last night’s sports scores, and get excited about the game ahead.
When do you know your work/life balance is off?
My body is screaming for movement, but my head is shouting for more time at the computer. My body is always right.
Vulnerability is a challenge for most men – share a vulnerable moment from your life with us.
It’s very vulnerable to be answering the questions for this blog post. My favourite form of storytelling is intimate, in person, and it’s very difficult to answer a series of questions using just my fingertips. To you, the reader, I’d love to be able to connect and share something emotionally meaningful that gets us both out of our heads. I know that you’re looking for something inspirational, like everyone else killing time on the Internet. It feels really vulnerable to try and inspire you, without knowing whether I’ll have ever been successful.
What did you learn from it?
To get out of my head, get into the flow, and to stop worrying about the consequences.
If you are or were going to be a mentor for another man, what is one piece of advice you would give him?
There’s a great book called Iron John, which anyone who’s done some men’s work will know well. The book’s a modern re-interpretation of the old Grimm Brothers fairy tale called Iron John, which is more or less the story of a young prince learning how to be a king.
The book is great for a number of reasons — as the author says, fairy tales are humanity’s most deeply entrenched wisdom, because oral stories passed from generation to generation are like heavily filtered water — only pure truth remains. But the most important detail in the book is in the first 25 pages, when the young boy discovers the hiding place for the key to his inner man — his wildness, sexual power, creativity, confidence. Where is the key? It’s hiding underneath his mother’s pillow. The boy’s task is to take the key — not ask for the key — take the key.
The one piece of advice I have for another man is to read Iron John. If you can’t read the whole thing, read just the first 75 or so pages. And take the damn key.
How do you be the best partner (Boyfriend/Husband- past or present)
Stop worrying about being the best partner. Instead, in my relationship, I focus on expressing my feelings appropriately, telling the truth and being intentional in the way I choose to act. For a long time, I was very concerned with “doing things the right way”, and that obsession with being perfect spilled over to all aspects of my relationships — conversation, future planning, sex. In the past few years, I’ve focused on being real instead, and trusting my partner’s ability to communicate clearly — and, occasionally, to accept or forgive my flaws. My relationship has been much, much stronger ever since.
Do you support any Charities or Not-for-profits? (Which one(s) and why?)
I don’t actively support any charities. In the last few years, my focus has been on building my business, and all my available time and money has gone into that. One ambition for the future is to sit on the board of a non-profit. I think I’m still a few years away from that.
If your life had a theme song, what would it be?
Diamonds on the Soles of Her Shoes, by Paul Simon. Graceland was the album I listened to most while I was walking.
Where do you see yourself in 3 years?
More entrenched in the global business community, delivering storytelling services that are world class. Travelling widely to deliver trainings and workshops. Advising large scale clients. Staying grounded. Practicing yoga 4 times a week. Rooting into a comfortable home. Anticipating life with children. Feeling happy, loving and connected with my highest self.
What legacy do you want to leave for future generations?
Honestly, I have never thought about this. I hope that I never do.
What One book would you recommend for any Man?
Besides Iron John (recommended above), Gary Snyder’s “The Practice of the Wild. Beautiful, insightful, wise and freeing essays written by one of America’s greatest poets. A true modern masterpiece.

Man Of The Week – Benjamin Ritter

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Benjamin Ritter has worked in the fields of public health, interpersonal development, and healthcare for the past 8 years. The last 2 years he has worked as an executive at Presence Saints Mary and Elizabeth Medical Center (PSMEMC), and runs his own consultancy practice focused on interpersonal development, dating and relationships. Ben has cultivated his leadership skills through personal and professional experiences. Through his career working in interpersonal development he has also solidified mentoring, coaching, and teaching techniques towards creating, and sustaining positive behavioral change.

Ben is a man of many talents, from authoring the book The Essentials – your one stop shop to life improvement and success with women, to hosting a live dating and relationship advice show through Dose.com, curating the Interfaith Relationships workshop, the Value Systems workshop, and co-hosting the Suave Lover podcast; featured multiple times as a top podcast in the area of Sexuality on iTunes, and host of the Live for Yourself podcast. He is a freelance writer in the topics of interpersonal development, dating, and relationships for Huffington Post, AskMen, TheGoodMenProject, ManTalks, and Elite Daily, and has been featured as an expert in a variety of other sources. Through his consultancy he has helped countless men and women with their personal development, dating, and relationship issues. He can be reached through his main website at: www.benjamin-ritter.com

Ben will also be speaking at the very first ManTalks Chicago event centred around ‘Mentorship’ on November 7th, 2016. Click here for more details and to RSVP.

Age: 31

What do you do? (Work)
Through workshops, and one on one consulting I lead people towards the change they want to see in themselves in their personal and professional lives.

Why do you do it?
Everyone has the opportunity to be satisfied and fulfilled in their personal and professional lives, but those aren’t courses that are included in school curriculums. Satisfied and fulfilled people create more satisfaction and fulfillment and are more likely to impact the world in a positive way. Improving public health through personal development and social relationships is my passion.

How do you make a difference in the world? (Work, business, life, family, self)
Eventually I would like to do something on a grander scale, even though I have no idea the impact of the personal transformations that I instigate. My background in public health began with the desire to impact public health policy and maybe that is in my future but current I spark and build people into their ideal version of themselves while reframing what “ideal” means, as well as improve their dating lives and relationships. Professionally and personally I also try to bring the values of personal respect, genuine interest, and the desire for others to succeed into every single one of my relationships.

What are 3 defining moments in your life?
1) My first personal heartbreak. The memory of a love lost, and how it affected me personally was an incredible learning experience even at a young age.
2) My first professional heartbreak (losing my purpose), which ultimately led me to reframing my perspective on happiness, success, fulfillment, and dating/relationships.
3) Working a variety of jobs, especially hospitality (construction, dog walking, deli, server, retail, camp counselor, day care, a variety of brand ambassador gigs, modeling, acting, bartending, corporate healthcare, public health departments, and more – less a moment, more an experience). These experiences, especially working in hospitality has unbelievably impacted my character, and understanding of others.

What is your life purpose?
My life purpose is to value each moment and the greatness that can be found within any experience while continuing to spread my appreciation, respect, and genuine interest in the world and the people around me, and hopefully affecting positive social change on the way.

How did you tap into it?
I tapped into my purpose by failing, and having to critically think about purpose and what happiness actually is, and what it represents. Never-ending realism with gratitude helps me consistently tap into my purpose.

Who is your Role-Model or Mentor?
I think that I am a product of a generation, and have specific character traits that make it very difficult for me to have a mentor unless it’s through a structured program such as life-coaching. I am extremely lucky to have such great parents, and specifically I have looked up to the intelligence, compassion, perseverance, social skill and strength that my father has displayed throughout my life.

Do you have any daily habits? If so, what are they?
Practically every day I wake up and review the to-do list I created the night before. I focus on some of the quick ones initially and then move down the list. I also immediately stretch, do ab exercises, and drink about half a gallon of water in the morning. Later in the day I also workout with one day off during the week, which is incredibly helpful for my mind and body. Part of my day is also focusing on my relationships; calling my father and a couple friends.

When do you know your work/life balance is off?
My work/life balance is incredibly important to me and it is rarely off, just out of focus. I tend to get short tempered, frustrated, and sad when I am not living according to my values. That could be my professional or personal life is focused in areas that it should not be.

Vulnerability is a challenge for most men – share a vulnerable moment from your life with us. What did you learn from it?
The moment I lost the purpose I dedicated a large portion of my life towards; despite knowing that it wasn’t right for me, it still is one of the most heart wrenching memories I have. It exemplifies the effect an investment of your mind and body can have on your health and taught me how to properly manage and invest in “your purpose”. Also it’s important to know that emotions are normal, the ups and downs are part of life, feeling them and accepting them allows you to move on and forwards.

If you are or were going to be a mentor for another man, what is one piece of advice you would give him?
There are so many pieces of advice I would want to give. If I had to choose only one, I would explain that there are no standard templates for living and never to allow someone else’s template control and impose on your life.

How do you be the best partner (Boyfriend/Husband- past or present)
Work towards tomorrow. Any fight in the bigger scheme of things is insignificant when you remember that you are going to be together. Your partner almost always has your best interest at heart. Give them the benefit of the doubt.

Do you support any Charities or Not-for-profits? (Which one(s) and why?)
Sports and soccer specifically has always played a huge role in my life. I love the Chicago Fire Foundation for what they provide to the in need and at risk youth of Chicago. I also love what Cease Fire is doing. There are just so many people doing such great things.

If your life had a theme song, what would it be?
Lean on me by Bill Withers

Where do you see yourself in 3 years?
Transforming future and current leaders like I am now but on a grander scale. I hopefully will have written another book by then, and have taken my work in-person to a variety of cities around the world.

What legacy do you want to leave for future generations?
I would like there to be a movement towards institutionalized learning based on facts in regards to personal development, dating, attraction, sexuality, and relationships.

What One book would you recommend for any Man?
Reframing by Richard Bandler and John Grinder

 
If you know a Man that is making a positive impact on the world, we would love to hear from you! Contact us at [email protected]

Man Of The Week – Jeff Perera

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For over eight years, Jeff Perera has been working to help inspire new models of possibility for manhood: having spoken to men, young men and boys across Canada and beyond on how we can strive toward change within, and be part of nurturing healthier ideas of manhood where we work, live, study, worship and play. Today, Jeff is a Speaker and Facilitator with Next Gen Men, who work with young men and boys, as well as engage and educate men around conversations of toxic versus mindful masculinities. He has delivered two TEDx talks: ‘Words Speak Louder that Actions’ and ‘The Ladder of Manhood’. If that wasn’t enough, Jeff also writes over at Higher Unlearning, exploring how limiting ideas of gender impact men in everyday life. Jeff shares some poetic and inspiring words in his interview and ManTalks is honoured to have Jeff Perera as our newest Man Of The Week!

Age: 41 (but don’t look it! Being brown don’t let ya down!)

What do you do? (Work)
I am a Speaker and Facilitator with Next Gen Men. I’ve spoken to tens of thousands of young men, boys and men across Canada and abroad, for eight years, about our ideas of manhood and new models of possibility for men.

Why do you do it?
I realized years ago that how many of us answer the question of what it means to be a man, is at the core of so many of the challenges, issues and struggles that people of all genders face. Traditions and concepts of what manhood is or isn’t, impact everything; from our lives at home or work, or where we study or worship, as well as our relationship with the environment, our true self, and with each other. As men, working to give ourselves the freedom to be our best self, in turn helps nurture the world we want to live in,

How do you make a difference in the world? (Work, business, life, family, self)
What I have learned again and again is: The way forward begins with us, within us. There are many men who want to explore living a more full, meaningful, heartfelt life; embracing vulnerability and fear, and not facing it all alone. I look to help men open their heart’s eye and strive to see the invisible: how these toxic ideas of manhood are both the rope used to section off people of other genders in everyday life, as well as the chain holding men back from our whole humanity. My hope is to help inspire others to genuinely begin their journey from head to heart, and from heart to action: showing up in their own lives, and the lives of others. My role is to help convey to men and boys that change must be ongoing within us, but that you are not alone and that we can take this journey together.

What are 3 defining moments in your life?
– The day I realized the person I wanted to be: as a little child witnessing my father (who was a violent tyrant at home) back down and hide in his car from a drunk man who wanted to fight him.
– The day I saw my father’s dead body.
– A quiet moment when I decided to leave a 9-5 job because I wanted to own the impact I make, and what those waves to continue to be after I’ve left this world.

What is your life purpose?
I want to be the lesson in action, and inspire others to try as well. I want to hold a mirror up for others, so we learn to truly see our role in everyday situations. That starts with role modelling the process and looking in that mirror ourselves. I want to be a gentle voice inviting you into this conversation, but also push and provoke you: make you comfortable with discomfort (that place where our real inner growth happens.)

How did you tap into it?
Too many men have a void in their lives: not having emotionally present models and mentors. I call these models of possibility ‘Maps to Manhood’, someone who you can talk to or just learn from by seeing how they navigate life. I decided to aspire to be the example I was looking for, fill the void for myself and others. That process has brought into my life amazing men from whom I learn from and unlearn with.

Who is your Role-Model or Mentor?
Muhammad Ali. We can learn from anyone and everyone (and need to always listen for the lesson) but the life he lived was his message to us. Ali was the voice telling us to get back up, to stand up. Ali taught us to answer the bell, rise up, and get into the ‘Ring of our own Life’. He said: “True success is reaching our potential without compromising our values.” He demonstrated the will to work and work, battle yourself and all circumstances in order to achieve your goals, and be ready to sacrifice it all for what matters. I strive to be half the man he was.

Do you have any daily habits? If so, what are they?
I mentioned mirrors earlier, I take a moment to look in the mirror every day. It is my reminder to not just see my physical self, but my entire self. To be present and mindful in each moment as much as I can be, and try harder than that, in order to own everything I’ve done and didn’t do. I want to focus not the impression I leave with others so much as the impact I have on others. Trying to talk to myself using loving speech also!

When do you know your work/life balance is off?
I talk more and more these days about ‘Mindful Masculinities’. When I am truly striving to be present, show up, enter the Ring of my own life: in everyday, simple moments I can tell when I am not at my best. We all have those ‘engine light’ or ‘oil change’ symbols light up on our inner dashboard: those moments when a quiet voice whispers “you need to take a break” or “put the email away and go sit with your child for a bit”.
Humbly, I would like to submit that the pursuit of ‘work/life balance’ is a fruitless chase that sets us up for failure. Instead, I believe the key is seeking to find harmony within every moment in Life. This is a fluid state where we seek to maintain amidst the ever-changing highs and lows. We are in constant motion, our lives are never truly in a stand-still state until our last breath. Life is like crossing a tightrope towards our destination, as we carry all our life’s relationships, projects, aspirations, challenges and responsibilities in our hands. The goal is to constantly seek harmony within the present moment, both when it is quiet, or when we face the gusts of Life’s winds of challenge… all while moving in a forward motion. This is our endless work: staying tuned in, learning to adjust and thrive, all while seeking to be one with this very moment.

Vulnerability is a challenge for most men – share a vulnerable moment from your life with us.
I want to be the person that reaches out to you when things are at their lowest, not someone who shows up when you are riding waves of success. I think we need to start doing that for ourselves, with ourselves.
In the very near future, I seek to openly talk about my mistakes and lessons learned. I think it is time we opened up as men and owned our shit. Taking ownership of our actions, behaviour and impact. I am writing a piece about this topic, in which I wrote: “To Men everywhere, this isn’t about the ‘Day of our Reckoning’, this is about the Day of our Awakening.”
In 2015, I started a year-long journey to explore and own my past actions and reputation, and ask myself hard questions. I did a lot of listening, talking with women from different periods of my life: colleagues, friends, acquaintances, women I’ve interacted with in community work, as well as women I dated in the past. I wanted to better know myself through the narrative others have of me, based on my impact in the community. This wasn’t solely about me, my hurt feelings or my guilt, but more about learning of any hurt or harm I may have caused.

What did you learn from it?
As a result, I started having much deeper, vulnerable conversations with men in my life, modelling how we can help one another do this emotional work together. Sharing my journey helped me open up conversations with men, as we discussed regrets, shame and fear of talking openly about mistakes, and how we need to do this work together. Instead of leaving women in our lives to do all the heavy emotional lifting for us, we can share in the emotional, healing, self-awareness work amongst other fellow men.
Ben Okri said “Stories can conquer fear. They can make the heart larger.” We can humbly share our experiences together as men, to help our own healing and learning, and others too. I started a monthly gathering in Toronto: a private circle of men I knew trying to be positive role models in our communities. There we open up and share, and listen to one another. No performance, no judgements, not as a PR move to salvage our name after a mistake made. Raw, real honest truths and buried fears. We need to model doing emotional labour together as men, where there isn’t reward (i.e. opening up with the goal of achieving romantic or sexual pursuits).
Next Gen Men has started monthly gatherings in Calgary, and soon other cities like Toronto (which I will be organizing) called ‘Wolf Pack’. (http://nextgenmen.ca/our-program/wolf-pack) These will be spaces where men can have these conversations together, open to people of all genders. Wolf Pack aims to tackle challenges of social isolation amongst adult men by helping foster social connection and new friendships through vulnerable and supportive conversations around topics of depth.

If you are or were going to be a mentor for another man, what is one piece of advice you would give him?
I am looked to by some as an ‘expert’ on healthy masculinities, but anyone who says they have the ‘quick-fix, follow these three easy steps, just-add water’ solutions to being a better man is working a con. The path toward being your better self (not better than someone else, but better that who you were yesterday) is a lifelong journey. There are no shortcuts, no quick solutions, we have to roll up our sleeves and develop the resolution to truly face ourselves, with love. A self-love that is accountability, transparency and humility.

How do you be the best partner (Boyfriend/Husband- past or present)
Know Yourself.

Do you support any Charities or Not-for-profits? (Which one(s) and why?)
Let me tell you about three, starting with the one I work for!
Next Gen Men (www.nextgenmen.ca) is a youth-led, nonprofit organization focused on building better men through youth and peer engagement, education and empowerment. We believe that by engaging, educating, and empowering our peers, we can ensure that the next generation of men will make a positive impact on their communities.
Reclaim Your Voice (www.abusesurvivalstories.com) is a nonprofit event series which provides a platform for men and women who have experienced domestic violence, psychological and sexual abuse, to reclaim their voices. Combining raw testimonials from survivors with inspirational spoken word pieces and motivational speeches, Reclaim Your Voice is a positive and healing experience that uplifts both the mind and the soul.
FYOU: THE FORGIVENESS PROJECT (www.thefyouproject.ca) is a movement that started after rape-survivor Tara Muldoon did not find justice in the justice system. After realizing forgiveness would have to come from within, she created a platform for youth and young adults to speak openly about what it means to forgive. FYOU is now a team that runs programming and workshops internationally. The entire movement is comprised of youth and young adults.

If your life had a theme song, what would it be?
‘Sure Looks Good To Me’ by Alicia Keys.

Where do you see yourself in 3 years?
I see myself doing what I am doing today, but in different and ever-evolving ways; hopefully having learned more and grown each day from now to that moment in time.

What legacy do you want to leave for future generations?
I hope to be seen as a person who left it all in the ring. I want to be someone who inspired others to reach deeper and do better: not just in my words but my deeds and actions, and the impact I had on others.

What One book would you recommend for any Man?
The Autobiography of Malcolm X
(Also: Man Up: Reimagining Modern Manhood by Carlos Andrés Gómez)

If you know a Man that is making a positive impact on the world, we would love to hear from you! Contact us at [email protected]

Man Of The Week – Grayson Miller

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Grayson Miller provides coaching, strong leadership and is a mentor to his team at StyleDemocracy. At StyleDemocracy, Grayson takes on the role of Vice President, digital director and content creator, spearheading the company’s development with their blog, social media outlets and marketing strategies for clients and followers. He focuses on the development of his team and allowing each individual to express creativity, vision and passion so that they excel in the work environment and feel fulfilled in doing so. A sacrificial leader, Grayson leads by example and ensures he has given his team enough support, love and encouragement to kick-start their entrepreneurial spirit and hopefully launch their dreams. Check out our newest Man Of The Week, Grayson Miller!

Age: 29

What do you do?
I am the Vice President – Digital for StyleDemocracy. I oversee and develop all of StyleDemocracy’s digital initiatives. In addition to that, I work closely with brands, helping them tell their stories to digital audiences.

Why do you do it?
I do it because retail, fashion, and digital marketing are all great passions of mine. I love telling stories and I find that the world of content creation and digital marketing is always evolving, which forces you to continually grow, learn, and challenge yourself.

How do you make a difference in the world?
Tough question. StyleDemocracy provides access to off-price clothing for our members and shoppers. For some, the savings on clothing actually makes a discernible difference in their lives. On a personal level, I have work experience in the mental health arena. Due to my knowledge, I have been able to guide people in the right direction in seeking help and support for mental health issues.

What are 3 defining moments in your life?
– Getting cut from my high school hockey team – I thought that I was guaranteed to make the team. I made it before so I coasted. It taught me that you always have to work for the stuff that you want, and that nothing in life is guaranteed. There is always someone behind you who will gladly take your place, so if you don’t continue to work and improve, you’ll often fall behind.
– Meeting my current partner – She’s the best. Always supportive and always pushes me to achieve my goals.
– Working for StyleDemocracy – I started out as an intern and today I am the Vice-President. My life would be drastically different if I took a different direction.

What is your life purpose?
I have much respect for people who are able to answer this question. I haven’t figured it out yet.

How did you tap into it?
I try to be the best that I can be every day. It’s hard and challenging for me. Being better is what motivates me.

Role-Model?
My father. Hard working, well dressed, never gives up. I try to live my life like that.

Do you have any daily habits?
I want to work on forming better daily habits. I try to take at least 30 minutes for myself every day. I might go for a run, sit by myself, read a book. It really doesn’t matter what it is, I just try to be one with myself for at least 30 minutes a day to block out the noise of everyday life.

When do you know your work balance is off?
When I’m not creative or I don’t feel like working. The not wanting to work part is the biggest sign to me that I’m tired. If I feel that way, I know that something is wrong.

Vulnerability is a challenge for most men – share a vulnerable moment from your life with us.
I’ve had some close friends and family that have dealt with serious mental health issues. These issues challenge you to become more accepting and understanding. It has been a hard road for me in dealing with people that I love who suffer from mental illness. It can take every ounce of your strength to not feel like a victim and realize that mental health issues don’t discriminate and can affect people from all walks of life. It made me vulnerable because I always want to help people that I love, and sometimes you can’t do it on your own. Not having the answers is one of my most vulnerable feelings. You have to look inward to have the strength to deal with it.

What did you learn from it?
I learned to be more understanding and to be patient with people. It has helped me learn that people all have their own issues and in business and life, and you have to know how to be accommodating and compassionate.

How do you be the best partner?
I communicate about everything – probably in excess, but I find that even in long-term relationships, ambiguity can arise unless communication is constant.  I also always let her know that I have her back no matter what. I’m always one call away and while I may not always understand, I will always listen and give her 100% of my focus when she needs it.

Do you support any charities?
I have supported CAMH in the past. As you probably already know from reading this article, I have friends and family that deal with mental health issues. I support CAMH because I feel that Mental Health support and awareness needs to improve in our city.

If your life had a theme song, what would it be?
Kanye West – Can’t Tell Me Nothing

Where do you see yourself in three years?
The President of StyleDemocracy – Digital

What legacy do you want to leave for future generations?
While it has improved a lot and there are many fantastic black business leaders, I would like to continue to instill the knowledge that race and ethnicity should not limit your ambitions and that with hard work, anyone can achieve parts of their dreams.

What one book would you recommend for any man?
Between the World and Me by Ta-Nehisi Coates

If you know a Man that is making a positive impact on the world, we would love to hear from you! Contact us at [email protected]

 

Man Of The Week – Zach Marcy

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Zachary Marcy, also known as Coach Z, is a Mind and Body Transformation Coach based out of Miami. His entire life he has been fascinated by physical fitness and psychology, and the relationship between the two. It wasn’t too long before Coach Z begun tirelessly working and investing over two decades of time and money into education on the mind and body, Coach Z has created a program that is a hybrid of life coaching, nutrition coaching and physical coaching practice, called Synergize Fitness. His passion is rooted in being able to help inspire others to transform their lives to one they can be proud of, but he keeps them all grounded with the gentle reminder that the journey of transformation is not a short one, but a life-long one that takes commitment and dedication day in, day out. From the moment you meet Coach Z, his hunger to have a positive impact on everybody around him is apparent from the way he talks to the passionate miniature rants (often referred to as Reverend Zach) he goes on when there is room for growth.

Coach Z, along with two others, will be speaking about ‘Overcoming Adversity’ at the very first ManTalks Miami event on Monday, August 29th. You can expect to hear moving stories from individuals who suffered from low self-esteem and the manner in which they tackled this head on to emerge victorious and successful.
Topic: Overcoming Adversity
Date: Monday, August 29  6:30pm (Doors open) 7:00pm (Event begins)
Location: Ariete Restaurant, 3540 Main Hwy, Coconut Grove
Note: the restaurant is being used as our event space and will not be serving food or drinks this evening.
Tickets: $30 – early bird and $40 regular**

Age: 40

What do you do? (Work) 
I am a Mind and Body Transformation Coach

Why do you do it? 
I chose this line of work because I can make a living doing what I love. I have drawn upon all of my life experiences and developed a unique model for success that is literally changing the lives of everyday people. There is no better feeling in the entire world. My model for success is creating a world wide Transformation Revolution making the world a better place.

How do you make a difference in the world? (Work, business, life, family, self) 
I am bringing new inspiration to people who had given up on finding their way into a lifestyle of a healthy mind and a healthy body.

What are 3 defining moments in your life? 
– On each day my two children entered this world I felt a huge combination of gratitude and responsibility. Each birth was a defining moment for me, because all of my motivation transferred from self-interest to their interest.
– The third defining moment was the day I realized every hardship I’ve ever been through is actually a blessing. I  changed my own story by simply repositioning the narrative. My story is one of being sexually abused around six years old to be my tale of triumph.

What is your life purpose? 
My life purpose is to inspire others to experience a healthly mind and body transformation. Transformation, as I define it, is the constant and never ending pursuit of being the best version of yourself everyday for the rest of your life. This pursuit includes every aspect of life: personal, professional, physical and psychological.

How did you tap into it? 
I found my purpose when I realized I had the power to bring the kind  of positive changes to other people’s lives that I have had in my own life. I educated myself in the best ways to connect with others, and I found joy in teaching and coaching about the things I’ve learned.
Originally, I wanted to become a psychologist, but I knew the formal school setting wasn’t for me. Nevertheless, I branched into a field of psychologically called Neuro-Linguistic Programming, and I taught seminars to others on how to practice it. At the same time, I also became a bodybuilder. Once I blended all of my fields of study together, I realized how powerful the combination of the mind and the boy was. I  saw how people were getting lasting and permanent change in their lives.

Who is your Role-Model or Mentor?
My father is my mentor as well as my clients who I learn as much from as they learn from me.

Do you have any daily habits? If so, what are they?
This is a quick summary of my daily routine:
Morning MAVIM: Meditation, Attitude of Gratitude, Visualization, Intention and Movement
Mid-Day Mindfulness: I check-in with myself every three hours when my alarms go off to see if I’m on schedule, acting from my highest self and living out my day’s intention.
Evening MALP: Meditation, Attitude of Gratitude, Lessons I learned and Plan the next days MAVIM

When do you know your work/life balance is off?
I know something is off when I feel tired waking up. I generally have so much energy and plan out my time so well that if I’m feeling a bit off everything gets restructured. My personal success depends on me being a high performer in life.

Vulnerability is a challenge for most men – share a vulnerable moment from your life with us. 
At around six years of age, my parents brought a few foster children into our home who had been removed from an abusive environment. One of the children proceeded to mimic the abusive behavior with me that he had experienced at the hands of his abuser. Although I reported it to my parents, after a few weeks of abuse a lot of life altering patterns in my life started to appear. I had moments of guilt, questioning my sexuality, homophobia, depression, anger issues, self confidence problems, bouts of misusing bodybuilding drugs and alcohol and food abuse, plus many failed relationships with women.

What did you learn from it?
I learned that you are not your problems and that you can either define your story to serve you or enslave you.

If you are or were going to be a mentor for another man, what is one piece of advice you would give him? 
I would tell him that vulnerability and power do not contradict each other; in fact, they are directly tied together. You will only ever be as powerful as your biggest short comings and your willingness to face them without excuse.

How do you be the best partner (Boyfriend/Husband- past or present)
I put as much time and effort into improving my relationship with my wife as I do on my own personal development and my business.

Do you support any Charities or Not-for-profits? (Which one(s) and why?)
I support any program for our United States Veterans because I know their service allows me to reach my full potential each day.

If your life had a theme song, what would it be?
Cliché’ song… Jump by Van Halen
Actual song… It Was All A Dream by Jay-Z

Where do you see yourself in 3 years?
In three years, I envision myself running a large international business helping people around the world accept Transformation as a way of life. I’ll be speaking at large conventions, I’ll have written two best selling books written and I’ll be presenting programs online to help people achieve the best versions of themselves.

What legacy do you want to leave for future generations?
I want my legacy to be that I helped the world to understand that in order to be a whole human being that reaches his full potential, you must work on yourself everyday for the rest of your life personally, professionally, physically and psychologically.

What One book would you recommend for any Man?
I would recommend Way of the Superior Man, but the book that really changed my life was The Alchemist by Paulo Cohelo

If you know a Man that is making a positive impact on the world, we would love to hear from you! Contact us at [email protected]

Man Of The Week – Jermal Alleyne

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Jermal Alleyne is our newest Man Of The Week and boy does he have one hell of a story! Today he is the Co-founder of a non-profit called Next Gen Men that is dedicated to building better men through youth engagement, education, and empowerment. Like many in his generation, Jermal never had a mentor or group of friends as a young boy where he could be taught about the expectations and responsibilities of being a ‘man’. It was this struggle and losing his teenage brother to suicide that drives Jermal’s passion for impacting and equipping today’s youth. Jermal opens up and gets real personal in this weeks Man Of The Week, you’ll definitely want to check out his humbling story.

Jermal, along with three others, will be speaking about ‘Confidence’ at the upcoming ManTalks Toronto event on Monday, August 22nd. You can expect to hear moving stories from individuals who suffered from low self-esteem and the manner in which they tackled this head on to emerge victorious and successful.
ENTRY IS FIRST COME FIRST SERVE
Topic: Confidence & Connection
Date: Monday, August 22 6:30pm (Doors open) 7:00pm (Event begins)
Location: 174 Front St West, Toronto ON M5V 3K2
Tickets: FREEIMG_20151118_013543

Age – 28

What do you do? (Work)
I am the Program Director and lead facilitator of Next Gen Men, a nonprofit focused on building better men through youth and peer engagement, education, and empowerment.. I lead an after-school program for boys aged 12-14 years old that disrupts the prevalent ideas and misconceptions about what it means to ‘be a man’ today. We move beyond the stereotypes and empower boys to be men who make a positive impact on their communities.

Why do you do it?
I do this for two reasons. Being a man myself, I wish I had had something like this when I was growing up – a place that I would feel safe with my friends while learning some about the expectations of “being a man” that probably would have helped me to make fewer mistakes in my early adulthood. Secondly, I lost my brother to suicide when he was 13 and that always sits with me. I love that now, I have a chance to educate youth on the dangers of bullying, the importance of mental health, and teaching these young men that asking for help when you need it isn’t a sign of weakness, but strength.

How do you make a difference in the world? (Work, business, life, family, self)
I believe the work that we are doing at Next Gen Men can one day make a huge difference in the world. Through engaging, educating, and empowering young men at an early age look at our work as prevention to reduction in all form of violence, with an emphasis on violence against women, and a reduction in male deaths by suicide due to an increased knowledge of mental health supports.

What are 3 defining moments in your life?
– The passing of my bother in 2007. It was an eye opener to appreciate family. Also, to make the most of the time you have on this world – I do that by helping others.
– Tearing my ACL. This is a pretty common injury, but for me the rehab process allowed me to expand the definition of myself. I wasn’t just Jermal, a great athlete anymore, I learned to be so much more.
– Getting engaged. The time since I met my fiancé has been the happiest consecutive years of my life and I know they will only continue with her in my life.

What is your life purpose?
I think my life purpose is to help. I know it is so vague, but I have always found a sense of peace when I know that I am helping someone. Whether it is young man who needs positive words of encouragement in program, to help with school work, or and an adult who just needs someone to listen to I like helping people work through the battles big or small.

How did you tap into it?
Giving can sometimes be difficult, I have heard some stories and things that people have gone through that just break my heart, but I know how important self-care is. I generally like to do solitary things as part of my self-care. When I was young that was practicing soccer by myself, as I got older that was basketball, now it is golf and writing.

Who is your Role Model or Mentor?
When I was younger, Tiger Woods was my role model. I loved his laser like focus. Now I would have to say it is my father. When I look back on my life and realize all the sacrifices he made for me, my brothers, people in my family to put them in a better position in their lives, it blows me away. His patience to see the big picture is a quality that I admire the most.

Do you have any daily habits? If so, what are they?
One of my self-care techniques/hobbies has to be included. Whether it is the gym, writing, or just reflecting, it helps me tackle the day ahead and coffee, definitely coffee.

When do you know your work/life balance is off?
I generally just feel like garbage. Whether I haven’t got enough work done, I feel bad about myself if I am working too much and don’t make time for me for a couple of days. I have a guilty feeling either way.

Vulnerability is a challenge for most men – share a vulnerable moment from your life with us.
The most vulnerable moment in my life was going to see my mother while she was incarcerated when I was twelve. My father didn’t want me to go, but I knew it was something I had to do. It was scary, I was nervous and I went asking for love. It was the most vulnerable I have let myself be to this day.

What did you learn from it?
Well, the experience didn’t meet my expectations so it was disappointing. From it I learned to be strong, that putting yourself out there when asking for love doesn’t kill you, and most importantly, hope. I knew there would come a day where my expectations were met and I can say today they happily are.

If you are or were going to be a mentor for another man, what is one piece of advice you would give him?
There comes a time in your life where you have to stop making your circumstances an excuse for why you should fail, and take responsibility of those circumstance and make them the reason you succeed.  I can say that I have had many moments in my life where shit was just hard, personal relationships, school, and circumstances that you just thought you’d never be in. I, many times let my circumstances be my scapegoat but there came a day when I just stopped doing that and life started to turn around slowly I might add, but it did and I would want that young man to know it will be YOU that made that choice.

How do you be the best partner (Boyfriend/Husband- past or present)
I think I am the best partner to my fiancé when I am just as giving in my outside life as in my relationship.

Do you support any Charities or Not-for-profits? (Which one(s) and why?)
I can’t say that I actively do through money consistently, but since Movember’s push into mental health and well being for men. It’s an organization that does such great work.
I have been a recent supporter of Movember, not only have they funded Next Gen Men, but I truly they are offering a holistic approach to men’s’ health. Especially on the Mental Health on the Mental Health approach. I am an advocate for youth mental health and I volunteered in my community as the youth mental health advisor.
Next Gen Men is so important to me because I have the opportunity to talk to young men and breaking down the old definition of a man that doesn’t need help. I share my personal stories to inspire them to understand that asking for help is not a sign of weakness and we need more men to help us in this effort.

If your life had a theme song, what would it be?
Not sure

Where do you see yourself in 3 years?
With work, that’s looking forward and seeing how accomplished Next Gen Men has become. In my personal life, I’m looking forward to being married in 2017 and starting a family.

What legacy do you want to leave for future generations?
I guess the legacy I would like to leave is that I was instrumental in reducing suicide rates and violence against women by co-founding Next Gen Men. Though we are small, I know that our reach can be huge and exponential if the young men that come through our program can influence on friend with our message. ‘Wolfpack’ is a new initiative we are launching shortly in Calgary, Toronto, and Vancouver. It is a unique “brotherhood” of men focused on facilitating social supports with depth. We are looking to engage with men aged 25-45 to not only encourage them to be more socially connected but to draw from these connections when they go through tough times and transitions.

What One book would you recommend for any Man?
The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho

If you know a Man that is making a positive impact on the world, we would love to hear from you! Contact us at [email protected]

Man Of The Week – Matt Tod

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Our newest Man Of The Week is Matt Tod, a speaker, facilitator and coach to youth and our millennials. Matt faced much uncertainty about where his life was going when graduating from university, and after working for a few years, he quickly noticed a growing level of unhappiness in his life. Upon reflecting on this tough period, Matt did what many of us shy away from, asking ourselves “What do I need to be happy?” and begun to action his life. Surprisingly to him, life began to present him with opportunities to live in alignment with the way he so deeply desired. Matt’s finely tuned level of self-awareness allowed him to discover his life’s purpose, which is to serve others, to help them become better versions of themselves and to support their development. The roller coaster of life forced Matt to step into severely vulnerable spaces in his life which required him to step up to be the man him and his family needed, from holding his first son and learning how to be selfless to the passing of family members and learning that grief is a journey of perseverance and not something to get over. Today Matt serves as the Associate Director of Learning & Performance Development for Free The Children and Me to We. He’s got an inspiring story that is sure to impact the lives of youth worldwide and motivate us to leave the world in a better place that we found it.

Age – 34

What do you do? (Work)
In my day to day, I serve as the Associate Director of Learning and Performance Development for Free The Children and Me to We. In addition to that, I’m also a Youth and Millennial Leadership speaker, facilitator and coach.

Why do you do it?
There are lots of reasons I feel that I do what I’m doing. A big part of it is because it aligns with my values and my strengths. Serving others, helping them become better versions on themselves and supporting others growth and development helps me be a better version of myself as well. I want to contribute in a meaningful way in making the world, our community, and ourselves better. I have a strong passion for serving young people and I think that’s where I really found my spark. I don’t think I could do anything else and be as fulfilled as I am when I’m supporting and learning from others.

How do you make a difference in the world? (Work, business, life, family, self)
I think we all have the opportunity to make a difference in a meaningful way each and every day. One question I often ask myself in the morning is “what difference do I want to make today?” When I do that, I can look at what’s coming up for the day and decide where I can have the biggest impact. Sometimes that is at work when I’m supporting new staff who are just joining our team; other times its by being a present and patient father for my incredible 4-year old son. I want to make a difference in the lives of the people I connect with and I want to live by example as much as possible.

What are 3 defining moments in your life?
I think I’ve been fortunate to have many defining moments in my life. Defining moments are really about those moments when you’re called to show up. Those moments when you’re required to be your best. Three that come to mind, in particular, would be:
– The moment I graduated from University- I was the first person in my family to complete post-secondary so that was a pretty big deal for me. I remember sitting there in my convocation thinking “ok, now what?” It was a moment where I had to really start to think about what was important to me and what I wanted to do with everything I had worked for up until that point
– The birth of my son, Hunter– Definitely a defining moment as it was a shift in my identity as a man and how I saw myself. I was lucky to be part of my son’s birth (we did a home birth) so experiencing that was incredible. After that, everything shifted. I didn’t realize how selfish I was until I had a tiny human who I was partly responsible for keeping alive. And, to be honest, I wasn’t awesome at it all for the first little while. It took me some time to figure out my new role.
– The death of my dad- My dad passed away suddenly this past summer. He was just about to turn 57. Death is difficult for everyone, I’m sure, but at the time there had been a lot going on for him and my mom – they had just lost their business, had to sell their house and were about to move out 2 days before it all happened. When it did happen, all of a sudden, there was a lot of pressure and responsibility thrown on to me (and our family). The experience taught me so much about grief and that it’s not something you get over but something you have to go through. This is especially important to understand as men, I think. I’m one of three boys and we all dealt with our grief in very different ways. It taught me that there’s no one way to grieve and to honour what you feel.

What is your life purpose?
My life’s purpose is to grow and develop myself and the people around me (in that order). I want to not only help people be their best in the moments that matter the most, but also to help others live the best possible version of their lives. I’ve been so fortunate to, at an early age, be put on my life’s path.

How did you tap into it?
I reflected quite a bit on where I was in my life at a time when I wasn’t really happy. The work I was doing didn’t provide me with purpose or meaning and I was feeling a lot of (unnecessary) stress about it. So I stepped back and asked myself “what do I need to be happy?” It came down to three things: I wanted to work with youth as a young person myself, I wanted to be a positive role model for others (especially other males) and I wanted to have purpose and meaning in my day-to-day work. When I became aware of that, opportunities started to present themselves.

Who is your Role-Model or Mentor?
I’ve been really fortunate to have a lot of positive role models in my life. It’s hard to choose just one. What I will say though is that I’ve worked hard to create a group of people I can go to for different aspects of my life. If I had to choose, I would say that, though he recently passed away, my Dad has been more of a role-model for me now (having become a father) than he was before. It kind of sucks to say that, but I have these moments as a Dad now where I go “oh…I get it now…” and I think of how my Dad approached a certain situation or how he chose to raise each of us.

Do you have any daily habits? If so, what are they?
I’ve got a few. One thing I do every Sunday is sit down for 20-30 minutes and plan out my week. I call it “Set Yourself Sunday”. I take a look at where I’ll be, what commitments I have, what are my priorities, and I’ll set goals and actions. This keeps me on top of things and provides me with a sense of control in a, sometimes, very hectic life. I also have some morning and evening routines that I’ve been doing for a long time: Every morning I get up and do one of four things (sometimes all): I read, I journal, I meditate and/or I work out. This provides me with a solid start to the day and centers me. At night, I read, journal, meditate and/or take a bath. Just having a morning and nighttime ritual really helps me stay focused, recharged and healthy.

When do you know your work/life balance is off?
I don’t really believe in work/life balance but, when I start to recognize something is off is usually when I start backing out of commitments or I start to lose connection with the people closest too me. That’s a pretty good indicator that I need to stop, re-evaluate, and reset.

Vulnerability is a challenge for most men – share a vulnerable moment from your life with us.
I think one of the most vulnerable moments I’ve ever had was when I openly started talking about my anxiety in University. I had been diagnosed with generalized anxiety and hid it from my friends and family for a really long time. Eventually, it got harder to manage without help and I needed to reach out for more support.

What did you learn from it?
That we all struggle and that it’s ok to not be ok sometimes. The important thing (for me at least) was to start the conversation and to use the story of my struggle as a way to heal and to help.

If you are or were going to be a mentor for another man, what is one piece of advice you would give him?
There would be two: Awareness creates choice. And choice creates change. Self awareness is such an important part of growth and development. It’s so important to take the time to stop, reflect and spend some quality time with yourself away from all the distractions we have in our life.
The second is that you don’t need to be the best all the time. You only need to be your best in the moments that matter the most. It’s up to you to determine what your best looks like and when those moments present themselves.

How do you be the best partner (Boyfriend/Husband- past or present)
I think I’ve struggled with this a bit more than some guys so I’m hesitant to give advice. What I would say is that it’s important to really understand and align values and beliefs – both yours and that of your partner. I think being the best partner is about really listening and understanding. It’s about being able to put your needs aside for the needs of the relationship.

Do you support any Charities or Not-for-profits? (Which one(s) and why?)
I work full-time for a charity, does that count? Aside from my work, I really try to support any organization or charity that serves youth. This is something I feel strongly about.

If your life had a theme song, what would it be?
Right now, I think I’d say Truth by Alexander

Where do you see yourself in 3 years?
I’d like to be spending more time with my son. Surrounded by good people, doing work that provides purpose and serves others. I’d like to be reaching more people through speaking, facilitating and writing.

What legacy do you want to leave for future generations?
I want to leave a legacy of self awareness. It’s pretty much a super power. I want to help others become more self-aware, challenge their beliefs and find potential in themselves that they never knew they had.

What One book would you recommend for any Man?
Resilience by Eric Grietens.

Who is one Man you think our readers would love to read about in future ‘Man Of The Week’ features? Spencer West or Alex Meers – these are two of my greatest friends. Solid men and brothers. Both of them are inspiring, humble and constantly challenge me to be a better version of myself.

If you know a Man that is making a positive impact on the world, we would love to hear from you! Contact us at [email protected]

Man Of The Week – James Clift

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In today’s world, its not uncommon to hear that the goals of many people we know are centred around achievements that they believe will enrich their lives. Media and society often create a blurring of the lines between achievement-based goals and fulfillment-based goals. Our newest Man Of The Week is James Clift, someone who we applaud for his outlook and attitude. After reaching those famous self-centred goals, James was left feeling unfulfilled and wondering what his purpose was and how to be of service to the world. While he is still discovering his purpose at the young age of 27, James knew quickly that he wanted to help change people’s lives, and he started by focusing on improving their careers. Today, James is the CEO of VisualCV.com – the internets largest online resume and portfolio creation website. By focusing on helping people find their professional careers, next job or to showcase their talents in ways they haven’t been able to do before, James’ idea and work has the ability to impact the lives of millions and potentially billions of people.

Age: 27

What do you do? (Work)
I’m currently the CEO of VisualCV.com – the internet’s largest online resume & portfolio creation website.

Why do you do it?
My original goal when starting this journey 5 years ago was to build profitable companies that allowed me to work anywhere in the world. I got there, and spent 4 months living in Argentina last year while growing my business.
It was awesome, but after reaching those self-centred goals you begin pondering how to be more of service to the world. That pondering has evolved my whys. On a business level, I want to help millions of people improve their careers (and as a result, their lives). On a personal level I want to scale up that impact – and play a part in creating something that impacts billions (eventually).

How do you make a difference in the world? (Work, business, life, family, self)
My company plays a role in one of the three most important things in a person’s life – their career. If we can help people land their next job or contract, that momentum can change their career trajectory permanently. That is why we do it.
The other categories are less complicated, but no less noble. The most important thing in life is being a good person (after first defining what that means to you). To me being a good person is being kind, honest, and making the most of the opportunities given.

What are 3 defining moments in your life?
– I missed the last shot at the Provincial championship finals in lacrosse that could’ve put us into overtime with a chance to win. Another painful moment was in Grade 12 basketball when I tried to take a charge but was called for the block with 15 seconds left in the Fraser Valley semifinals. We lost by a half-court buzzer beater. Losing hurts. Learn from it.
– I ran a window cleaning franchise in my second year of university. It taught me how to sell, and the difference between being a boss and an employee.
– My first company went through the Growlab startup accelerator when I was just getting into the world of tech entrepreneurship. That experience taught me how to scale my expectations for what a business could be.

What is your life purpose?
If any 27 year old tells you he knows his life purpose, he’s either delusional or lying to someone (maybe himself). Or perhaps I’m envious.
Right now my job is to build my company, and work on becoming a better person. I should probably spend less time contemplating my place in the universe, and more time doing those two things. That said, my life’s work is leaning towards building companies that make a positive impact, and helping more people do the same.

How did you tap into it?
Wine.

Who is your Role-Model or Mentor?
Elon Musk and Richard Branson are the obvious choices for entrepreneurial legends, but I don’t believe in mentors. I believe in having good friends that happen to be successful. Many of my best friends are successful entrepreneurs, and we learn from each other. Nothing beats a whiskey-fueled conversation with people that believe any crazy idea is possible.

Do you have any daily habits? If so, what are they?
Good ones?
Exercise every day.
Meditate every day in the morning for 10 minutes (this is a constant failure)
Don’t eat artificial sugar or refined carbs

Bad ones? My life is a series of dopamine hits from checking revenue/user numbers, emails, text messages, and twitter.

When do you know your work/life balance is off?
The only time I hear the term work/life balance is when reading articles on work/life balance on Inc.com. I’ve never thought about it, as I’ve never really been employed.
I always prioritize my family, friends, and health over work –  the stuff that really matters.

Vulnerability is a challenge for most men – share a vulnerable moment from your life with us.
I made $7500 in year one of my first company, and couldn’t afford to pay rent. To keep the company going, I rented my room out on AirBnb and slept on my couch most weekends.

What did you learn from it?
It helped me realize that what seem like huge risks are usually quite small in the grand scheme of things. If your worst case scenario is an uncomfortable couch in downtown Vancouver, you’re doing ok. It has helped me justify taking those risks – knowing that I’m still pretty happy if I have a couch to sleep on.

If you are or were going to be a mentor for another man, what is one piece of advice you would give him?
Fall in love with things that make you a better person. Learn to love exercise, nutrition, building things, reading, dancing, hiking, learning –  anything that makes you smarter, happier, or healthier is a good investment.

How do you be the best partner (Boyfriend/Husband- past or present)
Pick the right partner to begin with. I see too many relationships that are clearly doomed from the start. Of course there are sometimes more complicated variables, but in general a great relationship should be easy. Or so I’ve heard.

Do you support any Charities or Not-for-profits? (Which one(s) and why?)
I LOVE Watsi.org. They are a crowdfunding platform for medical treatment in 3rd world countries that gives 100% of the money to the treatments. Watch Chase Adam’s talk on Youtube, and if you don’t fall in love with their mission please get a heart replacement ASAP. And donate to their universal fund on a monthly basis. The update emails from successful patient treatments make my heart smile.

If your life had a theme song, what would it be?
In a Sentimental Mood by John Coltrane – for those late nights that turn into mornings.

Where do you see yourself in 3 years?
Tough question. I hit my last 5 year plan in 3 years, and have yet to make another one.
Here’s all I want – a life filled with amazing people, great conversations, and ambitious ideas. Perhaps I will create the place where all that happens in Vancouver.

What legacy do you want to leave for future generations?
It is crazy that everything we do on the internet might be around for 1000’s of years. I guess my legacy will be the writing I do, the products I build, this interview (hmm), and anything else I decide to share. Hopefully some of it makes people do ambitious, good things for the world.

What One book would you recommend for any Man?
Waking up by Sam Harriss

If you know a Man that is making a positive impact on the world, we would love to hear from you! Contact us at [email protected]

Man Of The Week – Jason Klop

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This weeks Man Of The Week is Jason Klop. Jason grew up on a farm in a small town in British Columbia, and it is his upbringing that taught him the values he lives by today, hard work and persistence where giving up was never an option. As his life unfolded, Jason was always someone who dreamed big and used others’ opinions, regardless of good or bad, as motivation and fuel to push him further. He noticed that some in life become victim to their limiting diseases/issues whilst others choose to persevere and overcome them and be free from limitations. This was something that deeply intrigued him and made him realize that his true passion lays in helping others realize what their purpose is, how to feel fulfilled, and ways to jump over hurdles. Jason is a man that wears many hats, some of which include being a Father, Doctor, Speaker, Coach and an Entrepreneur. Today, Jason runs his own practice where he creates the space that allows his patients to dive deep and truly discover what makes them tick and feel happiness. To help people achieve these transformational changes in their lives, Jason has created a coaching space, a blog and a podcast titled Step into the Jungle.

Age – 27 years old

What do you do? (Work)
Naturopathic Doctor who is on a mission to help entrepreneurs discover their purpose and live a passionate and fulfilled life. We all get to a point in our lives when we ask ourselves a variation of the following questions: Is this it? Is this what I am really here to do? How will others remember me? What will my legacy be?
My goal then is to help people get clarity on those questions and leave a legacy behind them that is by their design.

Why do you do it?
What I noticed when treating patients was that unless they were living a life of purpose, they would get or stay sick. This oddity perplexed me and so like any evidence based health care provider would do, I took to the literature. Remarkably I discovered that the available research validated this finding and so I decided it was time I stepped up into the role of assisting others discover and live that purpose.

How do you make a difference in the world? (Work, business, life, family, self)
First and foremost, by example. It is so easy to always tell others how they should live their lives, but if you are not modeling that, then nobody will truly buy into what you are presenting them.
Second, by truly caring about people and giving them the time of day to listen. We live in a world where we are constantly bombarded by new information coming in, but we don’t often take the time to just stop and notice what is. I make it a part of my ‘job’ to actively listen.
Third, by understanding who I am and what value I bring to the world. If you are unclear on your purpose and calling, then you are merely wandering around trying to do this or that in order to make your mark on this world. However, if you are really clear on why you are here and why you are doing what you are doing, then it makes it much easier to execute and truly make an impact. This whole process however starts with looking in. There is no amount of external information that will tune you in to this process.

What are 3 defining moments in your life?
– I grew up on a dairy farm and was constantly surrounded by animals. When I was 11 or 12 I got a baby goat from a goat farm. This goat was sick and nearly dead when I got it. The deal the farm made with me was that if it survived I could keep it. Thankfully the goat survived with much TLC and became an inseparable pet. This was a defining moment because it made me realize my calling to care for others.
– I fully realized my calling when getting diagnosed at the age of 15 with an acute illness that the conventional medical system had no treatment for. As a last ditch effort, my parents took me to a naturopathic doctor and it was with some very standard treatments that I was back to my lively self. I then had a deep understanding that I was supposed to give people the hope that they could not find from within or without. It is often from our own challenges that we realize our purpose.
– The third defining moment comes from truly facing my fears and going after my dreams and aspirations. Oftentimes it is easier to do what is comfortable even though it may not be in line with our values and purpose. When faced with this choice, I chose to follow my passion, live my purpose and tackle my fears. Challenging but very rewarding!

What is your life purpose?
It is my purpose and passion to help others realize and live their purpose and passion.
If I am able to connect people with their true purpose and passion I believe they will decrease the likelihood of serious illness as well as have a positive impact on the world while doing it. The richest place in the world is the graveyard because there are unfulfilled dreams and aspirations lying waste. I intend to not let my talent lie quietly in that desolate place, so I choose to live boldly every day, meanwhile inspiring and helping others to do the same.

How did you tap into it?
Introspection. Oddly we think that the answers to our purpose and passion should come from outside. Which book can I read to help me discover this, which talk can I go and listen to and etc. All of these resources are great because they allow us to question and learn what that might be. However, it is from looking within that you will find the clarity as to what you must project without.

Who is your Role-Model or Mentor?
I am very inspired by Les Brown. He is such an authentic, caring and joyful man. I hope to have the honor of meeting him in person one day.

Do you have any daily habits? If so, what are they?
To always be appreciative of those around me who are helping me get closer to my goals. We are so under-appreciated these days that people don’t even know how to accept praise. All it takes is 30 seconds to tell somebody that you appreciate them or to start the first sentence of your email by thanking somebody.
If you appreciate those around you, they will without a doubt also appreciate you. There is no faster way to ‘success’ than through the help of others.

When do you know your work/life balance is off?
I don’t fully buy into the whole work/life balance struggle. I believe we should focus on work/life integration. When you are truly living on purpose then your work is your life and your life is your work. I live and breathe what I do.
On the contrary, my highest value is my family and my health. As such, I take the time to exercise daily as well as spend time with my family. The balance is disrupted when I am not true to my purpose and living from my highest values.

Vulnerability is a challenge for most men – share a vulnerable moment from your life with us.
My vulnerable moment comes from my understanding that I need to welcome and express my vulnerability. Growing up I was always very in touch with my feelings and emotions. However, while growing up I would sometimes be made fun of for being ‘soft’. As a mechanism to protect this core innocence I ‘shielded’ up. I allowed a disconnect to form between my mind and my heart, thereby spending all my time in my mind where I could avoid allowing my heart to express its burdens and excitements. This mechanism served me for many years until I realized that this lack of connection wasn’t serving me and was in fact inhibiting me. I realized that my vulnerability is why people love and appreciate me because it is who I really am. I have since then with some guidance and much introspection developed a stronger connection between my head and my heart. This re-connection has allowed me to express my vulnerability to others without the fear of getting hurt and more importantly, it has allowed me to deepen my relationships with others. I cannot describe a more intelligent aspect of our being than the intelligence of our hearts.

What did you learn from it?
I learned that when you portray who you really are then you attract who and what you really want.

If you are or were going to be a mentor for another man, what is one piece of advice you would give him?
The best piece of advice I got from one of my mentors was to always look for ways to provide value in your mentor’s or desired mentor’s life.
In addition, be open to learning without challenging their perspective. We are all teachers deep from within, so if you are looking to add value to a mentor’s life and you are open to learning, then you will find a mentor who is willing to impart their knowledge and experience.

How do you be the best partner (Boyfriend/Husband- past or present)
Analogy from a farmer: your relationship with your partner is much like a crop. You need to water, fertilize and pull out the weeds before you can get the harvest. Many of us focus on what we can get without first focusing on giving and caring. When the focus is on supporting your partner in their development and level of fulfillment then you will be rewarded in kind. The truth is, what you give more of you get more of. Want more love? Give more love.

Do you support any Charities or Not-for-profits? (Which one(s) and why?)
I support Kiva.org. This organization gives microloans to people all over the world with emphasis on 3’rd world countries. I only lend money to women because I believe in these regions the women are the ones that can affect change in their families as well as their communities. Empowered women are powerful!

If your life had a theme song, what would it be?
Life is a highway by Rascal Flatts

Where do you see yourself in 3 years?
Doing more of the same but at a higher level with a much greater impact

What legacy do you want to leave for future generations?
I want to be a man that has fully stepped into my greatness and meanwhile leave a legacy of others who have done the same.

What One book would you recommend for any Man?
Big Leap by Gay Hendricks

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