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Man Of The Week – Jonny Imerman

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Our MOTW Jonny Imerman opens up about overcoming cancer and will speak at ManTalks Chicago November 7th, 2016 on ‘Mentorship’.
At 26 years old in 2001, Jonny Imerman was diagnosed with testicular cancer.  After doctors surgically removed one of his testicles, he did five months of chemotherapy and became cancer-free.  But almost a year later, four tumors popped up again near his spine.  After another surgery, an 11-inch incision, and three months of recovery, Jonny was back in remission.During his cancer fight, he realized what needed to change in the cancer world.  Despite loving support from family and friends, he was unable to find a cancer survivor like him.  Jonny wondered: “What if every cancer fighter could talk to a cancer survivor, who not only had beaten the same type of cancer, but who also was around the same age and gender as the fighter?”  The cancer survivor would be an angel ⎯ walking, living proof that the fighter could win too.  That amazing connection would provide inspiration, knowledge, and hope.  This is why he created Imerman Angels, a non-profit organization, which carefully matches a person touched by cancer (a cancer fighter or survivor) with someone who has fought and survived the same type of cancer (a Mentor Angel). Today, Imerman Angels now has more than 6,000 cancer survivors and more than 1,500 caregivers in its network, and has been featured by dozens of news organizations including The Wall Street Journal, Harpo Radio’s “Oprah and Friends” with Dr. Oz, CNN, TEDx, The Huffington Post, Men’s Health and National Public Radio (NPR) to name just a few!Jonny will be speaking at the very first ManTalks Chicago event centred around ‘Mentorship’ on November 7th, 2016. Click here for more details and to RSVP.
Age: 41 years old
What do you do? (Work)
I work for Imerman Angels, a FREE 1:1 peer mentoring program for families fighting cancer– we introduce them to a survivor (or family member) who’s shared the SAME EXPERIENCE and has had a positive outcome– to inspire, motive, and give knowledge, strength, and hope! ImermanAngels.org

Why do you do it?
I was diagnosed with testicular cancer at 26– did chemo, surgeries for about 2 years of my 20s– so we got together with a group of survivors that has grown now to about 8,000 volunteer survivors/caregivers– to GIVE BACK, and mentor, 1 on 1, those in the same fight today!  GRATITUDE– is WHY we do what we do! We’re all blessed to be alive and well!!
How do you make a difference in the world? (Work, business, life, family, self)
See above

What are 3 defining moments in your life?
3 defining moments of my life are getting cancer, creating Imerman Angels with a group of survivors who all care, and moving to Chicago in 2005 to get a fresh start on life after cancer.  Clearly, cancer has a lot of POSITIVES in my life!!
What is your life purpose?
I believe Imerman Angels is my life purpose, to help CONNECT and BUILD BRIDGES in the cancer world– but also helping other great causes and sharing what we’ve learned with other social entrepreneurs– to make the world a better place in a lot of ways!!  GRATEFUL to have so many social entrepreneurs friends who do great things in a lot of difference arenas! 

How did you tap into it?
It’s easy to tap into great causes when you CARE.Who is your Role-Model or Mentor?
Howard Tullman is one of my mentors, CEO of 1871 in Chicago.  Howard is an idea generating machine, helps so many causes, serves on the IA board, and takes SO much time to help SO many great causes– he’s a powerhouse of a human and has inspired me and helped IA in so many ways!!
Do you have any daily habits? If so, what are they?
My daily habits are wearing an IA tshirt everyday, eating oatmeal every morning, working out everyday, and surrounding myself with GOOD people and idea people everyday
When do you know your work/life balance is off?
I know my work/life balance is off when my VOICE goes away.. I talk all day long, and eventually my body tells me to slow down when i lose my voice lol!
Vulnerability is a challenge for most men – share a vulnerable moment from your life with us.
Opening our cancer experiences make us vulnerable– it’s the FIRST step in letting others in to help them– and essential in education and saving lives!

If you are or were going to be a mentor for another man, what is one piece of advice you would give him?
The best advice I feel i I can offer is LIVE YOUR PASSION– throw your life into it! Find a WAY to live your life filled with your individual passion– and hopefully it makes the world a better place as well! It’s the BEST life I feel!!
How do you be the best partner (Boyfriend/Husband- past or present)

I’m single at the moment, and so not much good advice for anyone here haha!
Do you support any Charities or Not-for-profits? (Which one(s) and why?)
I support hundreds of causes and non-profit friends– just a few of these causes are PAWS, Anti-Cruelty Society, ONEGOAL, LaunchU, Breakthrough Urban Ministries, Above & Beyond Center to fight addiction, and anyone with a great cause making the world a better place!
If your life had a theme song, what would it be?
If my life had a theme song, it would be “I’ll Take you There” — that’s how we ALL feel on our team in our ability to help and INSPIRE those with cancer!
Where do you see yourself in 3 years?

In 3 years I see myself staying busy and helping Imerman Angels grow to helping thousands to tens of thousands of people across the world!
What One book would you recommend for any Man?
Confession– I haven’t read a book since 26 years old! I can’t read books. I know– crazy.  I just can’t get myself to sit and read– i’m always on the move, and people are my currency, so I own it and stick to what my senses tell me is the best life– without books haha.
If you know a Man that is making a positive impact on the world, we would love to hear from you! Contact us at [email protected]

Man Of The Week – Grayson Miller

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Grayson Miller provides coaching, strong leadership and is a mentor to his team at StyleDemocracy. At StyleDemocracy, Grayson takes on the role of Vice President, digital director and content creator, spearheading the company’s development with their blog, social media outlets and marketing strategies for clients and followers. He focuses on the development of his team and allowing each individual to express creativity, vision and passion so that they excel in the work environment and feel fulfilled in doing so. A sacrificial leader, Grayson leads by example and ensures he has given his team enough support, love and encouragement to kick-start their entrepreneurial spirit and hopefully launch their dreams. Check out our newest Man Of The Week, Grayson Miller!

Age: 29

What do you do?
I am the Vice President – Digital for StyleDemocracy. I oversee and develop all of StyleDemocracy’s digital initiatives. In addition to that, I work closely with brands, helping them tell their stories to digital audiences.

Why do you do it?
I do it because retail, fashion, and digital marketing are all great passions of mine. I love telling stories and I find that the world of content creation and digital marketing is always evolving, which forces you to continually grow, learn, and challenge yourself.

How do you make a difference in the world?
Tough question. StyleDemocracy provides access to off-price clothing for our members and shoppers. For some, the savings on clothing actually makes a discernible difference in their lives. On a personal level, I have work experience in the mental health arena. Due to my knowledge, I have been able to guide people in the right direction in seeking help and support for mental health issues.

What are 3 defining moments in your life?
– Getting cut from my high school hockey team – I thought that I was guaranteed to make the team. I made it before so I coasted. It taught me that you always have to work for the stuff that you want, and that nothing in life is guaranteed. There is always someone behind you who will gladly take your place, so if you don’t continue to work and improve, you’ll often fall behind.
– Meeting my current partner – She’s the best. Always supportive and always pushes me to achieve my goals.
– Working for StyleDemocracy – I started out as an intern and today I am the Vice-President. My life would be drastically different if I took a different direction.

What is your life purpose?
I have much respect for people who are able to answer this question. I haven’t figured it out yet.

How did you tap into it?
I try to be the best that I can be every day. It’s hard and challenging for me. Being better is what motivates me.

Role-Model?
My father. Hard working, well dressed, never gives up. I try to live my life like that.

Do you have any daily habits?
I want to work on forming better daily habits. I try to take at least 30 minutes for myself every day. I might go for a run, sit by myself, read a book. It really doesn’t matter what it is, I just try to be one with myself for at least 30 minutes a day to block out the noise of everyday life.

When do you know your work balance is off?
When I’m not creative or I don’t feel like working. The not wanting to work part is the biggest sign to me that I’m tired. If I feel that way, I know that something is wrong.

Vulnerability is a challenge for most men – share a vulnerable moment from your life with us.
I’ve had some close friends and family that have dealt with serious mental health issues. These issues challenge you to become more accepting and understanding. It has been a hard road for me in dealing with people that I love who suffer from mental illness. It can take every ounce of your strength to not feel like a victim and realize that mental health issues don’t discriminate and can affect people from all walks of life. It made me vulnerable because I always want to help people that I love, and sometimes you can’t do it on your own. Not having the answers is one of my most vulnerable feelings. You have to look inward to have the strength to deal with it.

What did you learn from it?
I learned to be more understanding and to be patient with people. It has helped me learn that people all have their own issues and in business and life, and you have to know how to be accommodating and compassionate.

How do you be the best partner?
I communicate about everything – probably in excess, but I find that even in long-term relationships, ambiguity can arise unless communication is constant.  I also always let her know that I have her back no matter what. I’m always one call away and while I may not always understand, I will always listen and give her 100% of my focus when she needs it.

Do you support any charities?
I have supported CAMH in the past. As you probably already know from reading this article, I have friends and family that deal with mental health issues. I support CAMH because I feel that Mental Health support and awareness needs to improve in our city.

If your life had a theme song, what would it be?
Kanye West – Can’t Tell Me Nothing

Where do you see yourself in three years?
The President of StyleDemocracy – Digital

What legacy do you want to leave for future generations?
While it has improved a lot and there are many fantastic black business leaders, I would like to continue to instill the knowledge that race and ethnicity should not limit your ambitions and that with hard work, anyone can achieve parts of their dreams.

What one book would you recommend for any man?
Between the World and Me by Ta-Nehisi Coates

If you know a Man that is making a positive impact on the world, we would love to hear from you! Contact us at [email protected]

 

Man Of The Week – Anthony Trucks

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Our newest Man Of The Week is Anthony Trucks, an author, speaker and former NFL player, for his ass-kicking story that has served as inspiration to people worldwide already. Life has been tough from the young age of three when Anthony was dropped off at a foster home where for the next few years he suffered abuse, starvation and repeatedly being told he was worthless. The roller-coaster that is Anthony’s life didn’t stop there with a terrible injury that ended his football career coupled with an unfaithful wife and the loss of his family and almost committed suicide. It’s fair to say life kicked Anthony’s ass!

How Anthony responded to his circumstances is the most incredible part of his story. J.K Rowling once said “Rock bottom is the foundation on which I rebuilt my life” and it is fair to say Anthony did the exact same thing. Hitting bottom made him realize his way of life was not working and in accepting that reality he was able to let go of the ego and limiting beliefs that held him back from truly living and enjoying life. Anthony learned mistakes are part of life and forgiving yourself creates the space for you to try again and truly enjoy life’s beauty. By stepping out of his comfort zone and being more open and vulnerable, Anthony was able to authentically connect with those around him, and also feel protected by self-depricating thoughts and by removing the world’s firepower against you. This is definitely a story you’ll want to read about, check out the full feature below!

Age – 32

What do you do? (Work)
I teach business owners, aspiring business owners, and those who just want freedom how to get out of their own way so they can finally get that freedom and enjoy their business and their life.

Why do you do it?
Because I am selfish. I grew up in foster care where I was beaten and starved, among other things, and I pretty much didn’t matter. I just want to matter to people and get the feeling that I receive when I help someone improve their life. I selfishly want to know that I mattered. The ONLY way I can get that feeling is to GENUINELY help someone. So I fully give of myself in every way to help so I can receive the feeling of knowing I made an impact.

How do you make a difference in the world? (Work, business, life, family, self)
For me it’s many ways. I’m a father, a brother, a friend, a coach, and in time a husband.

What are 3 defining moments in your life?
– The memory of my mum giving me away at 3 years old into foster care. It left me in a whirlwind that took many years to overcome. It’s a tough thing to endure a feeling of total worthlessness when not even your own mother loves you enough to keep you. I felt like I didn’t belong on this planet.
– The moment I heard a girl say “the reason I’m so bad is because I’m in foster care.” Those words shifted my soul because I never wanted that to be an excuse for why I wasn’t great in life. Those words were the catalyst to me growing into the man I am today because I wanted to be everything OPPOSITE of what someone who came from my past would become statistically.
– The moment I was holding the right hand of my adoptive and watching her take her last breath as she lost her 17-year battle with MS. That moment was the moment that I fully realized how much impact one human can have on another when they unconditionally love and support. I am who I am, and doing what I do now, because of that woman. Watching her leave this earth centered me to the knowing that I cannot bury my casket full of potential.

What is your life purpose?
I am meant to impact people who impact the world. I’m a vessel that is carrying tools to prepare other vessels to go out into the world.

How did you tap into it?
Life kicked my a** and I got tired of it. I lost my marriage and my family and it led me down a dark path that almost ended in me taking my life. It was then that I awoke. When I did, I started living more alive and more vibrantly than ever because I understood life more as I dropped my egoic barrier and gave myself permission to learn and grow more as a man and a human.

Who is your Role-Model or Mentor?
Right. Simply doing right. In my life I didn’t have many people I could trust to lead me positively. So for me doing what is right led me. Mostly because doing wrong is easier in most cases, whereas doing right is hard. I just do the hard work, and make the hard decisions, that are right. Even if it “feels” wrong, or difficult. I MUST be able to respect the man I see in the mirror every night before I lay my head down.

Do you have any daily habits? If so, what are they?
I take time to meditate daily and put my mind at ease before I start the day. If not I enter a world unprepared to handle what may be thrown at me.

When do you know your work/life balance is off?
At this point in my life I can literally feel it. Ill notice if I feel off for some reason and I’ll slow down and start being more cognoscente of what I’m feeling and what is going on in my world to make me feel that way. Then I address it and move forward.

Vulnerability is a challenge for most men – share a vulnerable moment from your life with us.
My ex wife had an affair and, after having grown up in foster care, it took from me the most important thing in my life. My family. I had an ego having been in the NFL and owning a gym at the time and it led me to a dark place. I felt I had nothing to live for. It wasn’t until the police found me through GPS and brought me home that I had to visit some deep truths within myself. I realized how much of my experiences were from my involvement, as much as I didn’t want to accept at first that they were. Although my ex wife had made a decision, I was part of the problem that led her to a place to even HAVE to make a decision. I am at fault for the failure of marriage and ensuing life consequences.

What did you learn from it?
We’re all imperfect. We all make mistakes. When you learn to own them you learn to make peace with yourself and life and you start to experience the world in a beautiful way. Being open and vulnerable also protects you from yourself and the world. Yourself because now you don’t beat yourself up and go dark, and the world because you take away the world’s firepower to use against you.

If you are or were going to be a mentor for another man, what is one piece of advice you would give him?
You’re human, not just a man. Everyone on this planet matters. Men, women, animals, everything. You don’t have to be an overpowering brute to be strong and gain respect. Be human and you’ll find that humanity will see a strength in you that will be more powerful than anything you could comprehend. Graceful strength.

How do you be the best partner (Boyfriend/Husband- past or present)
Communicate EVERYTHING. Be open about your fears, desires, frustrations, problems, etc. If not then you don’t give the other person the opportunity to truly support and connect to you. When you don’t connect you literally become your own roadblock to beautifully connected relationships.

Do you support any Charities or Not-for-profits? (Which one(s) and why?)
I support any at risk youth and foster organizations I can find. Royal family kids camp, foster a dream, hope and home, etc. I was a foster kid and I only WISH I had something like these organizations when I was in the system.

If your life had a theme song, what would it be?
Great question that I have yet to figure out. Something along the lines or “Trust Your Hustle” ……. I should get someone to write that song for me lol.

Where do you see yourself in 3 years?
Father of three amazing kids, and an owner of a thriving business that holds online courses and live events that transform people’s lives and businesses all over the world.

What legacy do you want to leave for future generations?
The legacy of finding the strength to live your life EXACTLY how you want it. I want my legacy to be proof that a good man who truly cared and gave existed when few thought one did.

What One book would you recommend for any Man?
The 7 habits of highly effective people

If you know a Man that is making a positive impact on the world, we would love to hear from you! Contact us at [email protected]

Man Of The Week – Raffaello Manacorda

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Love. Its an emotion and the kind of connection many of us desire, yet a large number of us struggle with really understanding love. Our newest Man Of The Week is a Raffaello Manacorda, an author, teacher and coach who helps people with understanding love and relationships. A strong believer of reflection and working on the self, Raffaello believes many of our sufferings are rooted in our struggle for internal harmony and once those are dealt with, individuals are able to make progress and truly love those around them. During his life experiences, Rafaello has learned that following your gut can sometimes be a risky endeavour, but as long as you are acting in line with your purpose, trust the outcome will be a positive one. Check out the full feature to see how this humble and gentle man is positively impacting the world around him!

Age: 38
What do you do? (Work)
I am an author, teacher and coach. I have just published my first book, Conscious Relationships. I am the creator of The Network of Love workshop.
Why do you do it?
Because I feel a strong calling to share my insights with men and women all over the world. It is my natural way of giving my contribution towards the development of consciousness on this planet.
How do you make a difference in the world? (Work, business, life, family, self)
The first way I make a difference is by working on myself through self inquiry, Yoga, spiritual practice, with the certainty that the root of all the suffering around me is reflected in myself. One of the main ways I make a difference is through coaching people. Coaching which gives me the possibility to deeply intervene in the lives of dozens of couples and individuals. Then, I work hard to share my evolution with as many as are willing to listen! I do this by writing with amazing publications such as ManTalks and bringing my Network of Love workshop all around the world, as well as by running a personal blog, Fragments of Evolution.
What are 3 defining moments in your life?
1 – When I was a teenager, I spent an entire month travelling by myself around Europe. I actually turned 16 during the journey! I visited more than 5 countries in one month, sleeping on trains. My mother was scared to death, but that was my rite of passage into adulthood. I learned to be self-sufficient, but also to trust the world. When you trust, good things happen to you—that’s what I discovered.
2 – When I was 24, moved from Rome, my hometown, to Barcelona, tossing my old life away and starting a new chapter. I packed everything I had on an old battered van and made the move without knowing what was going to happen, but following my gut instinct. That proved to be a life defining decision.
3 – During my trip to Thailand in 2010 I had my first deep spiritual experience, while looking at a giant Buddha statue. I realized the impermanence of life and and that insight has not left me ever since.
What is your life purpose?
To evolve. Which means, to continue developing a loving consciousness, integrating the shadow aspects of my personality and moving towards more internal harmony.
How did you tap into it?
As far as I can remember, the pull towards evolution has always been a part of my personality. But I think that the origin of it, is that as a child I was very sensitive to the suffering of others. This would sometimes go too far—I would feel overwhelmed by the pain of the people around me. But in a positive way, this planted the seed of a strong desire to find the roots of suffering and sever them, for me and for others.
Who is your Role-Model or Mentor?
I have many; from the awakened men that live in these amazing times (Sri Prem Baba, Sadhguru, Eckart Tolle to name a few) to people that are long since physically dead but continue to cast their light upon me, first among them Gautama Buddha. Basically whenever I come across someone that is clearly on a higher level of consciousness than I am, I turn them into my mentors! Much nearer to me, my mother and my father have taught me the basics of ethics and love, and their lessons continue to grow fruits in my hearts.
Do you have any daily habits? If so, what are they?
My most important daily habit is waking up early, ideally before 5am. That sets my day straight like nothing else! I also practice yoga in the morning, before breakfast. For me, the beginning of the day is very relevant. If I start the day with the right energy, then it is much easier to keep the ball rolling. If I start the day with laziness and confusion, then I have to make a lot of effort to bring myself back on track.
When do you know your work/life balance is off?
The clearest signals are: waking up late, skipping my yoga practice, and spending a few days in a row without cooking at home or tidying up my room. That usually means that I am either on a serious creative streak or, more likely, that I am going off balance.
Vulnerability is a challenge for most men – share a vulnerable moment from your life with us.
When I decided to leave my old job and step fully into spiritual work, I went through a phase of financial instability where I simply couldn’t find a way to support myself. I had to stop paying my mortgage for a while and borrow money from my family. That was a tough time, which showed me that there is a consequence for taking risky decisions.
What did you learn from it?
I learned I can take measures to prepare before taking a long jump. That courage doesn’t mean recklessness. And that the people I love may have to bear the consequences of my risky decisions. Next time, I will be more careful.
If you are or were going to be a mentor for another man, what is one piece of advice you would give him?
In the moments of darkness and confusion, retreat in solitude and silence, then listen to the voice of your heart.
How do you be the best partner (Boyfriend/Husband- past or present)
My way of being a partner is perhaps a bit unconventional. I have lived for several years in open relationships, where the basis of intimacy was more friendship than traditional romantic involvement. This may change in the future, but it is something I have chosen to experiment. I strongly believe in friendship and I think it forms a beautiful basis for society. Romantic relationships are also very important, but sometimes we forget that, on a deeper level, we are all friends, or brothers and sisters. I think it is important to restore friendship as the natural, spontaneous relationship between men and women—being all friends to each other would make this world a better place!
Do you support any Charities or Not-for-profits? (Which one(s) and why?)
I support Wikipedia (for obvious reasons, I visit it almost every day!) and Kiva, a micro-credits system that brings loans to developing countries. I think this is a great way to help people develop their businesses and make a difference in their life.
If your life had a theme song, what would it be?
It’s an interesting question! I’ve been influenced by many songs, and by a lot of music without lyrics as well. But if I really had to choose one, I would probably invent a new one. It would be called “Learn, Love & Evolve”.
Where do you see yourself in 3 years?
There is a couple of different possible scenarios: one of them involves being a father, while the other one involves running my own school of spirituality and human development. Or a combination of the two!
What legacy do you want to leave for future generations?
I want to contribute to the growth of consciousness, love and harmony on Earth. But more specifically, I want to foster the development of a healthier sexuality and more harmonious, beneficial love relationships.
What One book would you recommend for any Man?
Please do yourself a favor and read The Book of Secrets by Osho. It’s no walk in the park, with more than 1500 pages. But you’re a man and you can do it ☺
If you know a Man that is making a positive impact on the world, we would love to hear from you! Contact us at [email protected]

Man Of The Week – Jordan Gray

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This week’s Man Of The Week is Jordan Gray for his work as a sex & relationship coach. Jordan is a #1 Amazon best-selling author, a public speaker with nearly a decade of experience in the field. For as long as he can remember, Jordan has always been a giver and helper to people. In his coaching, he allows people to become aware and in turn remove their emotional roadblocks to maintain healthy and intimate relationships. To ensure everybody has some of the tools they need to persevere, Jordan started a blog, which since launch has reached over ten million viewers globally. When Jordan isn’t coaching clients or writing, he loves to pretend he’s good at surfing, immerse himself in new cultures, and savour slow-motion hangouts with his closest companions. If you know anyone looking to deepen their connection to their partner, Jordan’s sensitivity and intuitive perspective will definitely help you step up in your relationships!

Age: 29

What do you do? (Work)
I’m a sex and relationship coach, and writer.

Why do you do it?
Because I believe that a deeply fulfilling love life should be available to everyone.

How do you make a difference in the world? (Work, business, life, family, self)
I reach over a million people per month with my writing at JordanGrayConsulting.com and I coach people 1-on-1 as well.

What are 3 defining moments in your life?
– Having my heart broken at 20.
– Starting my business at 25.
– Learning to love again at 27.

What is your life purpose?
My life purpose is to spread and inspire deep levels of love around the world, in all that I do.

How did you tap into it?
As cliché as it might sound, I really don’t think I ever tapped into it. It just was me, from a young age. I’ve always had such a huge heart for people. Even before I knew I could create my own career, I knew I would be doing something similar to what I’m doing now.

Who is your Role-Model or Mentor?
I have many role models and mentors for different areas of my life (too many to list)… so I’ll take this in a slightly different direction. The person who currently inspires me the most in the world is a man named Sonny Moore (aka Skrillex). He’s a musician who works tirelessly to improve in his craft, he honours the variety of his creative impulses whether they make sense within his cohesive brand or not, and he loves serving his audience.

Do you have any daily habits? If so, what are they?
Yes, and they all occur in the morning. I write before sunrise (articles, books, etc.), I have a morning gratitude practice, and I have a green smoothie that’s loaded with essentially all of the nutrients that I need to get me through the day.

When do you know your work/life balance is off?
When I sit down to write an article that I know my mind is excited to write, but my heart is unable to meet me halfway. When my creative energy feels stifled I know that I need to take some down time to recharge.

Vulnerability is a challenge for most men – share a vulnerable moment from your life with us.
I went through an emotionally devastating breakup in my early 20’s that rocked me to my core. During the breakup my emotionality and sensitivity were heavily shamed and for a period of over five years I hid my negative emotions from all women. I didn’t cry in front of a woman for those years (which is a huge feat because I’m totally a crier) and had a huge emotional block to women in general. It was only over the last 2-3 years that I’ve been able to fully open up again and honour my sensitive nature in all scenarios.

What did you learn from it?
The things inside of ourselves that we most resist are the things that we most need to stop fighting. And when we stop fighting, we will find our greatest gifts that we can offer to the world.

If you are or were going to be a mentor for another man, what is one piece of advice you would give him?
It totally depends on who the person is and at what point they are in in their journey. Every good mentor knows that any advice is useless except for the man who desperately needs to hear that one piece of advice in that very moment. But if there was one overarching piece of advice that I feel would appeal to anyone that I feel has the most benefit, it would be to “Question everything.”

Question the gender roles you have been handed. Question what society says you can or cannot do for your life’s work. Question the marketing that is presented to you. Question the advice of your mentor. I’m not recommending that people become hardened, cynical, or doubtful of the world… in fact, quite the opposite. You must strike the balance between not taking everything at face value, while having a sense of open, playful curiosity with how the world appears to you. Everything should be questioned.

How do you be the best partner (Boyfriend/Husband- past or present)
My short answer to this question is the same as when people ask me what my favourite sex position is (“It depends on the partner I’m with”) since everything is about calibration. Some of the things that I’ve gotten the most consistent feedback about is that I listen deeply and without distraction (my phone is almost always in airplane mode), I am highly physically affectionate, and I naturally gravitate towards being lavish with my verbal praise. The people I love always know how much I love them and exactly what I love about them. They never have to question it.

Do you support any Charities or Not-for-profits? (Which one(s) and why?)
Yes. I donate to Vancouver’s Friends For Life society. FFL provides support to people with life-threatening illnesses. I initially heard about them because my parents discovered them and have been volunteering with them for nearly a decade. As an aside, most of what I’ve learned about being a good person was modeled to me by my parents. I hit the jackpot by being born into their family.

If your life had a theme song, what would it be?
My Way by Frank Sinatra. Not because I pride myself on going at it alone or hustling, white knuckling, or forcing life to happen… but rather because I believe in living life with a high degree of intentionality. I’m constantly asking myself “What do I want?/Why do I want that?/How do I go about achieving that?” At the end of my life, I want to know that I loved deeply, inspired a deeper ability to love in others, and always honoured myself and chose my own path.

Where do you see yourself in 3 years?
With how rapidly my life has changed in the last decade, it feels almost impossible to hypothesize a response to this question. But assuming that there won’t be the major shifts in technology, distribution models, and culture that will inevitably happen over the next three years, my answer would be the following.

In three years time, my writing will reach over 25 million people per month and be inspiring a more open, honest, and shame-free conversation about sex and relationships. I will be a two-time New York Times bestseller. I will do approximately ten public speaking engagements per year, while also coaching clients 1-on-1 digitally, and holding small retreats and workshops around the world for couples. I will also be married, my eyes will be bright, and I will be splitting my time between Vancouver, Paris, and Ubud.

What legacy do you want to leave for future generations?
When it comes down to it, everything that I do with my life is about love and intentionality. I want to leave a legacy that leaves people feeling inspired, expansive, loved, and empowered. Yes, you can tell that person what you love about them. Yes, you can chase down any career path you desire. Yes, you can ask them to marry you. All of it is attainable. Everything you desire is just on the other side of a deep breath and twenty seconds of courage.

What One book would you recommend for any Man?
The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho is a brilliant read for any man looking to be able to trust and surrender to the idea that every person has internal messages that must be listened to. The runner up to that, that I feel every person the planet would benefit from, is The Six Pillars Of Self-Esteem by Nathaniel Branden. It’s written in a (relatively) much more dry way, but it has some densely packed value in there.

If you know a Man that is making a positive impact on the world, we would love to hear from you! Contact us at [email protected]

Man Of The Week – Michael Miller

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Our newest Man Of The Week is Michael Miller! Michael is a man who thrives on tough decision-making. From leaving the corporate world as a chemical engineer, to enrolling in life coaching training when he only had $50 to his name, Michael has followed his intuition to channel his purpose and make the ‘right’ decisions. In the moment they looked daunting, however looking back his decisions were the right ones that he’s never turned back on. Today Michael is the Founder of Braveheart Men’s Movement, a Men’s Leadership & Life Coach. He specializes in creating the space for men to come together to heal, love and connect with one another, a space that leaves no room for hatred, violence and oppression of the self and women. Michael serves as a great reminder to many of us who are faced with challenging life decisions, when we make the ‘right’ decision that is in line with our purpose, life has a way of unfolding in a manner that serves us.
Age: 31
What do you do? (Work)
I’m a men’s leadership & life coach, founder of the Braveheart Men’s Movement… and an artist. I believe every person has an art that they can master. For some it’s painting, for some selling, for some creating computer programs. For me, it’s transformational work. I combine coaching, spiritual teachings, play, art, and human connection to transform lives.
Why do you do it?
A different question that I believe is more fitting is “Why must you do it?” Why must Picasso paint or DaVinci invent?  There’s nothing I’d rather do.
How do you make a difference in the world? (Work, business, life, family, self)
I support men from across the globe to come together at retreats to heal, love each other and connect to Spirit. To stop hatred, violence, self-oppression and stop oppressing women. To wake up and become full expressions of God. (whatever that means to them) I make a difference by having the courage to be my own full expression of self. This impacts all my relationships including the one with myself.
What are 3 defining moments in your life?
There have been many important decisions in my life but three stick out to me as shaping me into the man that I am today.
– Deciding to leave my chemical engineering degree and the corporate world behind to start my first company. It was a thrilling decision that I never turned back on.
– The day I decided to join the Accomplishment Coaching life coach training program. I had almost no idea what a life coach was and after joining I only had $50 left to my name. Deep down, I knew it was my calling and had to take the leap.
– The day I discovered my life purpose. It’s been a compass to direct me ever since.
What is your life purpose?
Spiritual connection. It is the north star that guides everything I have ever done or will ever do. We all have a star like this, our soul’s work. Once I became conscious of my purpose, it informed all my decisions and has lead me to success. I have never questioned my purpose since discovering it.
How did you tap into it?
There’s a short exercise that I went through, that I now take my clients through. It takes you out of your mind and beyond trying to fix anything with yourself and the world. You will never find your purpose in your mind but rather your heart and soul.
Who is your Role-Model or Mentor?
I have a couple mentors that have had a massive impact on my life: my parents, a college professor, Sharon Wulf, the founder of Accomplishment Coaching, Christopher McAuliffe, and my coach, Jodi Larson. Some people I admire deeply are Eckhart Tolle, Tony Robbins, Jimmy Fallon and Pema Chodron.
Do you have any daily habits? If so, what are they?
I have rituals that I do daily including: prayer, meditation, journaling, coaching, and walking my dog, Duke. Some daily rituals I’m building toward are yoga, singing and sharing a teaching with the world.
When do you know your work/life balance is off?
When stop meditating or doing yoga I know that I have crammed too much into my week. They are two things that I love doing and are the first things to go if I don’t “have time”.
Vulnerability is a challenge for most men – share a vulnerable moment from your life with us.
I have a number of vulnerable shares from my past that would shock most readers. However, I have already shared them with the world so they don’t occur as vulnerable to me now. Sharing something that already feels safe isn’t a stretch. So here we go. I’m in a relationship right now that I’m uncertain I want to be in. She is a great partner, person and fits many of my conditions of satisfaction for a life partner. And it has never quite felt right to me. I’ve done a lot of transformational work on romantic relationships and because of the awareness I now have, I question my own intuition. I typically date women who have commitment issues themselves and my current girlfriend does not. I have a fear that I’m going to destroy something beautiful.
What did you learn from it?
I am still in it and learning every day. I’m aware there is no wrong choice and that I must empower whatever I choose. I’m a man who makes powerful choices daily and yet in this area of life I question myself. There is always more to discover about oneself.
If you are or were going to be a mentor for another man, what is one piece of advice you would give him?
Get a life coach. I think everyone including kids should have coaches. It’s a little insane that people are scared of exploring life coaching.
How do you be the best partner (Boyfriend/Husband- past or present)?
Take 100% responsibility for everything in the partnership.
Do you support any Charities or Not-for-profits? (Which one(s) and why?)
I produced and performed in a cabaret last year with some fellow Bravehearts with all the proceeds going to the SCHAP Community School in rural, Matoso, Kenya. I support many non-profits and charities having to do with child abuse, the LGBTQIA community, and human rights.
If your life had a theme song, what would it be?
All you need is love
Where do you see yourself in 3 years?
In 3 years, I will be preaching weekly at my trans-denominational spiritual center in New York, married with a kid on the way, and hosting Braveheart retreats and adventures around the globe.
What legacy do you want to leave for future generations?
That it’s possible to love everyone and have world peace
What One book would you recommend for any Man?
There isn’t a book on masculinity that I would recommend to everyone (it’s coming…) but the one I believe everyone should read is The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle. It’s simple, powerful and if you get it, you’re set for life.
 
If you know a Man that is making a positive impact on the world, we would love to hear from you! Contact us at [email protected]

Man Of The Week – Mark Groves

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In an increasingly digital world, we at ManTalks often hear people frustration’s about how difficult it can be to find quality human connection. Our Man Of The Week, Mark Groves, is someone who specializes in human connection and believes the depth of our relationships, both with ourselves and others, are arguably the single biggest predictor of our life’s happiness. Through a heartbreak of his own, Mark came to the realization that many of us, including him, suffer from being subconscious patterns & actions that don’t serve us or our relationships. These patterns drove Mark’s desire to want to understand the science and psychology of great relationships, both for himself to build one and to be able to channel his purpose of helping others build those relationships. Mark believes in the power of vulnerability and by sharing our vulnerabilities with the world, we no longer give them the power to weigh over us and have the ability to turn them into strengths. Read on to get a true feeling of how raw and honest Mark gets in sharing his tougher learns, but also in inspiring us to show up and act with integrity in our relationships.

Age: 37

What do you do? (Work)
I love the subject of human connection… soooooo, I help people connect better with themselves, and in turn, others

Why do you do it?
Because helping people foster deeper connections with others is why we’re here. In my opinion, the depth of our relationships is the single greatest predictor of our happiness and well-being

How do you make a difference in the world? (Work, business, life, family, self)
I live everything I write. I am doing the best I can. I write from my soul. I speak and teach through my own life lessons. I put myself our there and am vulnerable with the world… through sharing my story, I invite others to share theirs… and to own them and make their stories their strength, no matter the plot line.

What are 3 defining moments in your life?
– It may be a vague answer, but my childhood. I am blessed to have great parents and a great family. That, to me, has been a defining pillar to who I am and how I show up.
– I broke my leg when I was 25 playing soccer. This break led to an embolism (from my bone marrow) in my lung which are usually about 40% fatal. That was really the first time that I was faced with my own mortality. It made me value each moment so much more…and it made me realize that I wanted more. That I was on this earth for more, and I wasn’t done here, yet.
– My romantic relationships have all been very defining… the most impactful in terms of being a catalyst for serious change was an engagement ending. And that one really woke me up to my choices and starting to recognize that my subconscious had been in the driver’s seat. It was the moment I consciously took the wheel…or so I think… haha ☺

What is your life purpose?
To wake people up to themselves. To help provide the space and platform for people to recognize their subconscious patterns and then change them. And ultimately, to learn how to connect to others from this space.

How did you tap into it?
Through having my relationship fall apart. I needed to be confronted by the consequences of my choices. I realized that I was never taught how to have great relationships, and what that even meant. I was taught to want to get married… but that’s just a title. We aren’t taught what creates great relationships, especially the one with ourselves. I wanted to understand what made great relationships work… and why did they not work? I wanted to dismantle the science and psychology of connection.

Who is your Role-Model or Mentor?
I’ve had so many amazing ones. I would say my parents first, and as a man, my father. He is brilliant, kind, wise, and he really modeled that other people matter in more ways than I could ever articulate.

Do you have any daily habits? If so, what are they?
Exercise, being around nature, and practicing gratitude. I have taught my mind to look for the good. Even in difficult, challenging, and sometimes heart wrenching moments, I look to feel and understand the lesson and what the gift(s) is(are).

When do you know your work/life balance is off?
I can sense it… that I need stillness. To walk in the forest and find myself. Being around other people, which normally charges me, begins to make me irritable.

Vulnerability is a challenge for most men – share a vulnerable moment from your life with us. 
When a breakup shattered me, I turned to partying and trying to hook up with girls. Anyone who knew me before that breakup, knew me as a teenager with incredible integrity. After the breakup I was out at the bar and I took a girl home to my parents’ house (great plan right?!?). I tried to have sex with her, but I couldn’t get an erection. Not because of booze, or lack of desire, but because, for the first time and very obviously, I abandoned my principles and integrity to adhere to the measures of what society believes makes a man a man… the ability to get ladies. I thought that would mend my broken heart. I knew in the moment that I was hurting more than I was wanting to have sex. The irony, is that I thought I would be able to cure my sadness by abandoning my heart… but in the end, I never got the fulfillment I thought I would, till I acknowledged and accepted the profound level of hurt that the breakup had delivered to me.

What did you learn from it?
That emotion and truth always demand to be felt. We can’t run from ourselves, our hearts, and who we are. Our commitment must always be to ourselves, our truth and our integrity. I let a breakup define who I was… that I wasn’t enough. But relationship outcomes have zero correlation to what kind of man we are… however the kind of man we are does have a correlation to the outcomes of our relationships.

If you are or were going to be a mentor for another man, what is one piece of advice you would give him?
Understand your web, your psychology… why you do what you do. Align your life with your integrity, and despite all that you were taught about emotion and what it means to be a man, be yourself. Let all that bullshit go. Seems simple right? It takes courage to step into ourselves.

How do you be the best partner (Boyfriend/Husband- past or present)
It’s not good enough for us to say “I’m just not good at talking about how I feel.” The world demands more from us. Our partners, our sons, our daughter, our friends. They all deserve more from us.  And we deserve more from ourselves. We MUST be better. We MUST learn how to show up. When we change our beliefs, we change our identity. I often tell people to say the opposite, “I’m good at expressing my emotions.” What would that demand of you? How would you have to show up? Learn you, get intimate with yourself and your heart… because the depth to which you connect with others will always be limited by the depth to which you’ve connected with yourself.

Do you support any Charities or Not-for-profits? (Which one(s) and why?)
I am always donating and supporting different ones. I’m not really specific to a certain one, just charities and causes that speak to my heart in the moment they pass by me.

If your life had a theme song, what would it be?
Return of the Mack. Haha. Just kidding. That’s how I ended up making out on dancefloors. Ummmm. One of my fave artists is Ben Howard… I love all his music, but “Keep your head up” comes to mind right now.

Where do you see yourself in 3 years?
I’m not sure. Happy, maybe with the beginnings of a family. And a larger platform to communicate my messages. I’ve been really keen on a documentary series on relationships… that would be fun. Any investors out there…. ☺

What legacy do you want to leave for future generations?
That I loved and lived all out. That I left nothing on the table and made my fears about pursuing all of my dreams my bitch. That I was a good man, an amazing partner, son, brother, friend and father.

What One book would you recommend for any Man?
I’m picking two… cause I don’t like rules. Hmmmm. I would say that  right now, the one book I think EVERYONE, especially men should read, is “Attached” by Amir Levine. And “Man’s Search For Meaning” by Victor Frankl. SO good.

If you know a Man that is making a positive impact on the world, we would love to hear from you! Contact us at [email protected]

Man Of The Week – Light Watkins

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Trust is one of the most critical, yet fragile, facets in every relationship we have. It can often be the deciding factor that determines how relationships unfold and how much we choose to invest. This weeks Man Of The Week, Light Watkins, learned this lesson from the very young age of seven, when he felt heavy discouragement because his coach did not trust him.
Today, Light is a meditation expert, a published author, blogger and TEDx speaker that teaches meditation as a way to trigger happiness, one that is rooted in the trust and love we have for ourselves. He has personally taught over 2,000 people to meditate and is currently inviting people to join him on a meditation retreat in Costa Rica New Years 2016, or learn meditation in LA, NYC and Chicago

Age: 42

What do you do?
I’m an author, teacher, and founder of The Shine Movement.
Why do you do it?
When I was 29, I made a vow to follow my heart relentlessly. I knew that if I could do that, all of my other needs would be met.
How do you make a difference in the world?
I feel that it’s my responsibility to have blind trust in life — and in the moments when I’m able to do that, everything and everyone that I come into contact with benefits.
What are 3 defining moments in your life?
1) When I was 7, my little league baseball coach instructed me not to swing, because he was afraid I would strike out. That experience taught me what discouragement feels like, and I vowed to never be that person who discourages people from taking a chance.
2) Discovering the Conversation with God books when I was 26 — it was my gateway into becoming a spiritual seeker.
3) Meeting my meditation teacher when I was 29.
What is your life purpose?
To continue following my heart and trusting in life.
How did you tap into it?
I believe it’s inherent within each of us. What I’ve found is that daily meditation refines my ability to detect heart messages with greater accuracy.
Who is your Role-Model or Mentor?
My father, an attorney, is my role model. He’s always been a hard worker, sharp as a whip, and one of the most insightful people I’ve ever met. He’s never lost a case.
Do you have any daily habits? If so, what are they?
Daily meditation. Exercise. Laughing.
When do you know your work/life balance is off?
When I’m reluctant to receive — it means I haven’t been giving enough.
Vulnerability is a challenge for most men – share a vulnerable moment from your life with us.
The process of accepting a new name, “Light,” and deciding to go through with changing it ten years ago.
What did you learn from it?
I learned that Westerners are the only culture to keep the name they were given at birth, and I received further confirmation that when you follow through with what’s in your heart, you always end up in a better position than you imagined for yourself.
If you are or were going to be a mentor for another man, what is one piece of advice you would give him?
Always leave a situation or relationship better than you found it, including your own body and life.
How do you be the best partner (Boyfriend/Husband- past or present)
When the going gets tough, remember that women communicate very differently from men (and often have different priorities as well), so instead of resisting those differences, learn to appreciate and honor them.
Do you support any Charities or Not-for-profits? (Which one(s) and why?)
I started The Shine Movement in Los Angeles as a community of micro-philanthropy. In other words, inspire a lot of people to use what they have now to make a difference on a local level.
If your life had a theme song, what would it be?
Bobby McFerrin – Don’t Worry Be Happy
Where do you see yourself in 3 years?
Still teaching and writing, and hopefully being a father
What legacy do you want to leave for future generations?
The truth about happiness — that it comes from within
What One book would you recommend for any Man?
My book, The Inner Gym: A 30-Day Workout for Strengthening Happiness. It’s a practical how-to guide for anyone who wants to stabilize happiness from the inside-out.
 
If you know a Man that is making a positive impact on the world, we would love to hear from you! Contact us at [email protected]

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