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Malina Parmar

What’s A Fulfilled Life Got To Do With A Bigger Size Shoe?

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Yesterday I got a FILA Shoes from Costco. I like shoes, I think when you get a new shoes, you renew your whole wardrobe, and you look a new.
When I put it on at the store, it felt right, the right size, the right look, I loved it.
Today I put it on and walked to the nearby store to get some groceries before going to work. My toes touched the front of the shoes, and with every step they would touch and touch again, it was annoying, and I was very uncomfortable.
The funny thing is while my body was clearly telling me, this is uncomfortable, and you need to take off this shoes. All my mind could think of is how to make this work!
“Maybe this feeling will go away in a while.”
“All I have to do is get used to this shoe.”
“The shoe will expand with use.”
“I can probably take it to a place where they can expand it for me.”
“What if I wear thiner socks.”
“I will alternate between this shoes and a more comfortable shoes.”
“I can’t return it, they will probably see that I’ve used it outside the home and not return it.”
“It’s only $40; it’s ok.”
My mind was in full problem-solving gear. I couldn’t believe the shit I was coming up with to keep wearing this shoes, anything not to go through the pain of returning it!
So here I was willing to suffer pain of having uncomfortable shoes on, which is sure to mess up my day and cause me more pain with more use, just so I wouldn’t go back on my decision to buy it!
I wanted to be right about buying the shoes. I wanted not to look bad in front of the people at Costco, who I don’t know. I wanted so bad to look good that I was willing to suffer unnecessary pain.
Where in your life do you find yourself stuck in the choices you have made, suffering pain, and you remain in your head trying to resolve the situation?
When all you have to face up to and admit: I’ve made a mistake, it was not the right choice for me, how often will you make that choice?
Is it a relationship that is not working out, a job that you hate, a partnership with the wrong person, a community group that you are stuck in? Or maybe a book you are reading that is super boring, and not for you, but you continue reading none the less, cause you started, you invested the time, and “you might as well finish what you started.”
A few years ago I had a conversation with a dear friend of mine, he played guitar and sang, a brilliant and gifted guy. I asked him, why are you not pursuing your dream of music, you are gifted and talented, and you love this shit. His answer was “what about all these years that I’ve spent in engineering school, are you telling me they were all for nothing!”
So here was a brilliant person, stuck in his long gone past because he doesn’t want the choice he made when he was 18 to be wrong. Meanwhile, he is failing to enjoy his gifts and talents in the present, or build a brilliant future! What a waste!
Are you stuck in a relationship because you once thought they were the one?! Are you stuck in a job because you made a promise to stay no matter what, but internally you are having a war between what you chose and where you are in your life now?!
It is time to face up to the reality that the shoes just doesn’t fit! You can’t change that, you can’t expand it, you can’t fix it, you must either live with it as it is or return it, but never lie to yourself about it.
This is not about being comfortable; life is not about that. The tight shoes will not kill you. This is about stopping the pretence, stop lying to yourself about it. It is what it is, do not rationalize it, lie to yourself or others about it, just choose it as it is, know it, pick it, choose it day and day out, this shoes is tight and I love it as it is. But never say this shoes is not tight, and I’m ok with it.
And if you can’t live with your choice, guess what, you can choose differently.
Whatever you choose, choose freely what you want as your future, do not get stuck in the past, there is nothing there for you to change or work with.
See the past as it is and let it go, you will have a fuller more fulfilled life, and you will enjoy you and the people in your life that much more.
 
Hussein Hallak

Hussein Hallak is a serial entrepreneur with 22+ years of startup experience in strategy, branding, marketing, and growth. Hussein started 6 successful companies, worked on projects for Fortune 500 companies and World’s Top 100 Brands, and was featured in Forbes, BBC, and Entrepreneur. 

Currently Hussein is the Director of Strategy and Marketing at 3 Tier Logic, a shopper marketing and engagement software startup out of Vancouver, BC. Hussein is also the Director of Marketing at TEDxStanleyPark, Advisor at Spirit Games Ltd, Head Instructor – Lean Entrepreneur Program at LaunchAcademy and Founder of InspirationInbox.com.

Hussein lives to inspire possibility, to enable people, to achieve the remarkable.

Connect with him through his website, Facebook, LinkedIn, Twitter, Pinterest, and Instagram 

 

Man Of The Week – Aran Seaman

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This week’s Man Of The Week is someone who has had a positive impact and changed the lives of people all around the world. Aran Seaman lives a life true to his values, and through his work he has changed the lives of hundreds of thousands of children in Kenya by providing them access to clean water. His dedication to hard work and taking risks has allowed him to run a successful and sustainable business at Eartheasy.com

  1. Age: 30 
  2. What do you do? (Work)
    eartheasy.com – Retailer & distributor of products for sustainable living.
  3. Why do you do it?
    It allows me to align my values and skills to grow something that makes the world a better place.
  4. How do you make a difference in the world? (Work, business, life, family, self)
    As a company, we are making a difference by giving back through a variety of ways. For example, we have a One for One model built into one of our product lines, which provides a year of clean drinking water for a school child in Africa for every product sold. Last year this resulted in clean drinking water for 157,000 kids in rural Kenya. We also plant a tree for every order on eartheasy.com, and sponsor a variety of US & Canada based conservation and outreach organizations.

    Aran Seaman's Eartheasy provided clean water for 157,000 people in rural Kenya
    Last year, Aran Seaman’s Eartheasy.com provided clean water to 157,000 kids in rural Kenya

     

  5. What are 3 defining moments in your life?
    – Growing our company to the point where we were able to have our parents finally retire.
    – Demonstrating the LifeStraw products live on national TV in the US (and not screwing up!).
    – Seeing first hand the impact of our hard work, on the ground in Kenya, installing water purifiers in over 300 rural schools.
  6. What is your life purpose?
    Make the world a better place, through informative articles, guides and innovative products which improve people’s lives and reduce their impact on the planet.
  7. How did you tap into it?
    Using business as a means for good. Profit for a purpose. 
  8. Who is your Role-Model or Mentor?
    My parents are my role models. They are creative, hard-working, and incredibly kind, caring people. I will have succeeded at life if I’m like them when I retire.
  9. Do you have any daily habits? If so, what are they?
    I bike to work (this is a game changer) and exercise every day. I also drink 3-4 litres of water a day. I listen to audiobooks while biking to and from work – which allows me to keep up with reading.
  10. When do you know your work/life balance is off?
    If I stop exercising every day or my diet goes off track I know my work/life balance is off.
  11. Vulnerability is a challenge for most men – share a vulnerable moment from your life with us.
    There was a really hard time in our business where we lost half our revenue for 6 months. I sold everything I owned, including my rare (limited edition) sport bike, gear, & even clothes. We ate ramen noodles and did not pay ourselves until the business rebounded. It was a blow to the ego, but we got through it.
  12. What did you learn from it?
    You don’t need toys & shiny things to be happy. You need purpose. The obstacle is the way: if you have a worthy challenge in front of you, it’s more fulfilling and exciting than a performance race bike in your garage.
  13. If you are or were going to be a mentor for another man, what is one piece of advice you would give him?
    Step outside your comfort zone. Take risks. Work harder than the other guy. Cancel Netflix, stop drinking and bear down on something you are passionate about – relentlessly.
  14. How do you be the best partner? (Boyfriend/Husband- past or present) Quality over quantity. If you can only spend a day a week with your parter, make sure that’s the best damn day ever. Put the effort in to make it awesome. It can be as simple as a picnic at a park, or as lavish as a weekend away at a resort – but make it special. Put the effort in. They see what you put in to your career, and they deserve the same level of energy in their relationship with you.
  15. Do you support any Charities or Not-for-profits? (Which one(s) and why?)
    Annually we support over 30 non-profits in the US and Canada. If we can afford to give back, we will as much as possible.
  16. If your life had a theme song, what would it be? Tough question.. “Outro” by M83 or “No Way” by the Naked & Famous.
  17. Where do you see yourself in 3 years?
    I see our company 3X in size, and impact.
  18. What legacy do you want to leave for future generations?
    I want people to be inspired, and make a positive impact in the world. I want to somehow enable that.
  19. What One book would you recommend for any Man?
    “Tales of Endurance” by Fergus Fleming. If you have anything you think is a challenge in life, reading what others have overcome throughout history will make it pale in comparison. I know my limits are way higher than I originally thought after reading this book.

Please leave a comment, we would love to hear your thoughts!
If you know a Man that is making a positive impact on the world, we would love to hear from you! Contact us at [email protected]

"Masculinity…?" – Just another label

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How many times have you heard the old phrase “Men don’t cry, crying is a form of weakness… crying is for wimps.?”
How many times have you noticed yourself apprehensive to someone else’s emotions of any extreme, and you may even recede or check out from the situation before you get emotional?
Have you ever been curious to understand why some males appear to be not as empathetic or compassionate as others? You probably linked it back to the nature of the hormonal balance that comes as a result of a man’s genetics.
There are men who are sensitive, emotional and highly attuned to higher vibration and frequencies. However, it’s not common to see emotional transparency in the male population in North American culture.
So, how did men become wired and programmed to be less revealing or open when it comes to their feelings and emotions?
All men have feelings and emotions, and we process them in different ways. But often they stay underneath the surface and we hide them until things boil over. Is this purely based on genetics and the way we were born into the world? Or perhaps this is just a matter of having a more implosive versus explosive nature?! Could it be related to the way we were raised, or the environment we grew up in, our family, friends, and social circles?
What exactly is ‘masculinity…?’
I went to Grindr and other dating apps to find out. And most of the time I would find guys who say ‘seeking a ‘‘masc’’ dude who is fit and active and is into (insert activities) and likes their beer and sports.’
There’s nothing wrong with seeking someone with those traits, interests or lifestyle. But does that actually have anything to do with being ‘masculine?‘ How did these traits become affiliated with being more masculine?
This idea that certain ways of expression, emotions and feelings are reserved for a gender or sexual preference has always baffled me.
When I was a kid, the littlest situations would bring me to tears. If someone looked at me funny or if a voice were raised to me I would cry. I am the same way today, especially if someone raised a voice to me.
When something like that happens, andI start to cry, people around me would say “stop being a girl, boys don’t cry!”
Yet tears are not always what they seem to be. Have you ever had those moments when you are purely happy, content, and before you knew it, there were tears rolling down your face, and the entire body ‘lets go?’
It’s not easy to be that open and expressive, to reveal yourself and be prone to judgment, criticism, other people’s opinions and perhaps ignorance.
When you are able to tune into your real emotion and vulnerability, a feeling of strength washes over you, you feel strong, confident and I guarantee you that you will be the most ‘masculine’ person in the room!
 

IMG_9887Hiiro Sigal Prince

Hiiro is the creator of The True Identity Project + Project Z: (Yoga | Resources for Adolescent Cancer Patients).
He currently offers public Therapeutic/Classical Restorative, Yin, Hatha and Vinyasa classes in the Lower Mainland through YYoga, Chopra Yoga Centre, and YMCA Robert Lee. Hiiro also is completing his SCHWINN Indoor Cycling training to teach Spin and completing level 1 and 2 of his Phoenix Rising Yoga Therapy Training with Shivani Wells in May 2015. In August 2015, Hiiro will be a presenter for the 2015 Yogathon.
Outside of his yoga practice and teaching, Hiiro enjoys his spare time pursuing his passion for photography, creative writing and visual/performing arts, enjoying float sessions, spin classes, guzzling cold-pressed green juices, wearing an awesome pair of Fluevog boots and indulging in reality TV and the occasional childhood video game session. He cares deeply for his community and is always wearing a smile on his face and arms wide-open to give the universe a hug.
Connect with Hirro through his Website, Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, YouTube and LinkedIn

Recapping An Incredible Night! – ManTalks Pursuit Of Purpose

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Well, we did it again…another epic, inspiring and sold out ManTalks Monday at our new event space at HOOTSUITE HQ!
First off BIG thanks and appreciation to the team at Hootsuite, who opened up their space, helped us set up/take down and stayed off the clock to help make this all happen for our community!
If you missed the evening, read on for a quick recap of the night and if you were there, we’ve highlighted our favourite moments and would love to hear yours.
Connor BeatonManTalks Pursuit Of Purpose kicked off with a wonderful introduction by our founder Connor Beaton.
This month we brought three local speakers to our stage to share their pursuit and journey of discovering and living their purpose.
It was a night filled with expansion, insight and major inspiration from each speaker and a brilliant vibrancy from the community who attended.
 
 
 
 
Mike MuscariThe first speaker to take our stage on Monday was Mike Muscari.
Our four biggest takeaways from Mike:

  • Without purpose life tends to lack significant meaning.
  • Purpose is something bigger than you that you may or may not accomplish in your lifetime but gets you up and out of bed and causes you to develop a strong willingness to show up for life to the best of your abilities every day.
  • The discovery of purpose is a process of trying-doing-retrying.
  • There are days along the journey that aren’t always easy and every day we have the free will to choose to live in accordance with our purpose or not. Some days we will choose not to live in alignment with our purpose, and that is ok because inevitably the inner compass called purpose will eventually steer us back on course.

 
Darren JacklinOur second speaker was Darren Jacklin
Our four biggest takeaways from Darren:

  • A key to connecting to your purpose and living on purpose is connecting with the right people who are willing to give you an honest perspective and inspect your life to help you see what is in the way of your potential and purpose emerging.
  • Don’t get stuck in analysis paralysis (aka overthinking things and never taking action). Instead take one small action step to get the momentum in motion again.
  • Nothing is ever in your way it is only on your way.
  • There will be days where you don’t know what to do, days that are hard. It is when you have attracted a new problem you are in the process of levelling up. In attracting a bigger problem, you must expand yourself to come up with a new idea for how to figure it out. In facing these challenges, you are forced to step out of what is familiar and out of your comfort zone into the world of the unknown where all things become possible.

 
Brock TullyOur third speaker of the night was Brock Tully.
Our four biggest takeaways from Brock:

  • Changing our thinking is our access to experiencing the only true goal- being happy, for it is the simplest things that bring us the most joy and fulfillment.
  • It is only when we aren’t happy with ourselves do we put others down, and when we are unhappy with ourselves, we have another option available to us. Instead of picking on others or putting them down we can grow ourselves, we can get in touch with our hearts, we can connect to what is the for the highest good of all involved and act from there.
  • Kindness begins with being kind towards ourselves, being of service to others and connected to the true gift of giving unconditionally.
  • “I would rather be seen for who I am and be alone than accepted for what I’m not and feel alone.” We don’t need to go out and find our purpose, it is something that is a part of us and who we have always been, we just need to remember who we are and be willing to remain connected to our hearts even in the toughest and darkest of times to access this purpose within.

 
Our final takeaway of the night was an invitation posed to the audience from our founder:

“Go out of your way to say hello to someone you don’t know tomorrow, you never know, you might change their life and your life will forever be changed because of it.”

We want to hear from YOU!
Share your insights, takeaways and breakthroughs with us! Using the hashtag #mantalks on all social media forums will help us find you and keep the inspired conversations going!
We are taking a break for the summer!! We’ll be back in action for August and until then we’ll keep you up to date with all things ManTalks in our weekly newsletter. Thank you for being a part of our growing and thriving community and we look forward to seeing all your familiar faces soon!
Team ManTalks

The biggest move of my life… for now!

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I made the big move… and you can do it too!
Early 2005, I was 18 years old. I had a dream. I wanted to move out where the mountains and the ocean were. Still living at my parents in a small Quebec town near Montreal, I was dreaming of that West Coast lifestyle that all of us see in the media.
I remember the moment like it was yesterday. I was desperately waitingly for the UBC application response to know if my life was going to change on a dime. As I stressfully opened up the letter, I started reading the depressing news: Rejected!
I didn’t let that stop me, I decided to make a smaller move to Ottawa keeping in mind that one day I will make the move to Beautiful British Columbia. I did everything to get closer to my goal. While studying in Ottawa my girlfriend at the time went on a student exchange, which allowed me to go visit and spend two weeks on the coast. I was hooked. I could feel that I was one step closer to my goal, I could smell the victory.
Fast forward two years, I decided to join the Canadian Forces and luckily I was based in Esquimalt, BC, for a summer while still in university. I felt even closer to the ultimate goal until a girl decided to steal my heart a few months before I could scream victory.
Since there is a girl in every great story, this one is no different. We decided to give our relationship a try making me move to Quebec City going Eastern instead of Western.
After three years of amazing shared moments together, I realized that the Eastern Canadian lifestyle was never going to meet my expectations, aspirations, and dreams. Was I going to wait to have kids, a mortgage, car loans, and other grown up commitments only to wake up at 35 years old with an unaccomplished dream haunting me?
I needed to make a heartbreaking choice. I started weighing pros and cons, trying to see myself in the future, making my life goals and plans; one, three, five, ten, twenty years from now, and what I really wanted my life to be.
I took a leap of faith, trusting that everything was going to be OK and decided to go for the big move. The discussion that I feared so much to have with my girlfriend needed to happen. There was no hiding anymore. I had to man up and leave the boy behind because this was going to be a grown up discussion.
For as long as I can remember, this was by far the hardest thing I ever had to do in life. Leaving someone not because it is not working anymore but because the adventure is calling and deep inside I knew it was the right thing to do.
I have now been in the North Vancouver for about three years living the life that I had envisioned for myself and even more. As challenges and goals are a source of energy for me, I never thought I would go back to school to complete a second degree, build as many friendships as I did, and I sure never thought about owning my own business within only three years of being here.
My goals are very different than they used to be as I have shaped my life the way I wanted it to be. Today I am reaching even higher, and using my full potential to see what else is possible.
Now that you have read my story, I am asking you. What are you afraid of in life? What stops you from taking actions towards building the life you envision for yourself?
I am not going to lie; it is hard. Nothing in life that is worth getting is ever easy to grasp. It needs efforts, reflection, patience, character, and action. But, when you set your mind on something, stop worrying and listening to distractions, things start to shift, and magical changes start taking place.
Now that I have shared my story with you, I would love for you to share yours with me as well. Sharing your story might just be the beginning of your great adventure.
 

Max Charron-0467-2-1 2Maxime Charron: Max is a unique individual.  He likes to challenge himself and enjoy life by doing what he loves; a day in the mountains hiking, biking, skiing is just as valuable as working on his business with a client on different projects. It doesn’t matter to him as long as he does what he loves and surrounded with positive people. He also aspires to public speaking in corporate sustainability. As giving back to the community is very important to him, he finds time in his busy schedule teaching business basics to elementary school students through Junior Achievement, raising money for the Ride to Conquer Cancer, and do inspirational speaking to high school students. Connect with Max thought his website www.leadingahead.com, Facebook, LinkedIn, Twitter and Instagram. 

5 Epic Questions To Help You Find Your Life Purpose

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Imagine this, you’re 15, no clue what you want to do with your life, and probably not even thinking about it, when your best friend blurts out “I want to be a musician.” Just like that, he decided.
At the time when this happened, I didn’t give much thought to it. His parents didn’t seem to mind, they were supportive and seemed to think it would be a passing phase. Slowly though he built his life around music- lessons, small gigs, auditions, more lessons, failed auditions, successful contracts…. building his entire life around this primary focus while most people around him floundered to find direction.
Don’t get me wrong, most people don’t just tap into their life’s work at 15. He was definitely unique.

The Pursuit Of Purpose

 
Most of us have no clue what we want to do in our teens or 20’s and find ourselves trying different things in an effort to figure out what we are good at, enjoy and can succeed at. The funny thing is that most people go after what they think they are good at and not necessarily what they want.
Even after making good money between 18-24, I changed careers and pursued a passion-based career, it wasn’t until I was almost 30 that I clearly defined what I wanted for my life.
Chances are you’re more like I was and have no clue about what you want to do, or you have an idea, but it seems blurry. It’s a struggle that almost every adult goes through. You find yourself asking questions like:
“What am I really good at?”
“What am I passionate about?”
“What could I do to be fulfilled?”
I get emails all the time from men and women who are searching for a deeper sense of purpose and want guidance. One of the biggest challenges facing people is their idea of “life purpose.” Most people define purpose by accomplishments or goals. People think “If I am achieving things, making money and more successful than others then I am accomplishing my purpose,” right? Not exactly.

What Purpose Is

 
So many people think that their career IS their purpose and get lost in the fact that their career is simply another accomplishment, title or piece of their identity. Purpose is separate from your career, it is separate from how much money you make, whether you climb Mt Everest or not and separate from how many businesses you own or run.
Other people think “Life Purpose” is some higher calling, some divine purpose which they need to seek and figure out and can only be told to us by some ethereal being, or by holding a crystal while dancing naked in the forest high on D.M.T (although that could be a blast). While our purpose may be a form of higher calling, and I’m not here to discuss religious beliefs, few people today find their life purpose by going on a pilgrimage.
Here is our reality: life is finite, not infinite. We have a certain amount of time here which is completely undetermined to us. No one knows for certain how much time we have or what we are ultimately supposed to do with it. It’s like being given the world’s best and most intricate game without instructions. This does make it challenging to know where to begin, how long you have or who you should invest your limited time and energy with.
When people ask “What should I do with my life?” or “What is my life’s purpose?” what they’re actually asking is “What can I do with my life that will be important?… What can I do with my life that will make a difference?”
This is a much better place to start, as it points to a way of being rather than what you are doing. So many people feel like they are not living their lives’ purpose because what they are doing with their life doesn’t match who they want to be as a person.
I’ve worked with men for years now and one of the most common questions I get is “What should I do with my life? How do I leave a legacy? How can I find my life’s purpose?” These are impossible questions for me or anyone else to answer for you, they are questions that you must come to answer, by you, for you.
After working with hundreds of people, doing research and asking people who are living their purpose, I created these 5 questions for you to tap into what you are meant to do. I might not be able to give you the answer, but I can certainly ask the right questions to help you find the answer.

5 Epic Questions To Help You Find Your Life Purpose

 
1. What Problem would you give anything to solve?
One of my favourite sayings is “If you want to make a billion dollars, solve a problem for a billion people.” I’m talking about real problems, not the kind that help people be more complacent, like an ingenious way to turn on your tv just by saying “Turn on TV” or a self-cleaning toothbrush. I mean real issues like how to cure a disease, fix modern day education, help inner city kids get a head start in life, how to educate third world children, feed the 7.5 billion people that live on this little blue marble… you know, the easy problems.
 
2. What is true about you today that would make your ten-year-old self cry?
This may sound like a strange question but as kids we were all dialed into our hearts. We knew what we loved and for the most part, we didn’t care what people thought about it. We would openly express what we wanted to do no matter how absurd or outlandish it may have seemed. This question will point you to passion. It will help remind you of something that you may have forgotten about.
 
3. What makes you forget to eat, sleep, poop and have sex? (Maybe not the last two)
What drives you? What would you give up your ‘days off’ to do?
We have all had those moments of complete flow where we feel like we could keep doing what we are doing for hours, days, weeks and months. This is essential. If you can’t stand what you are doing, you’re probably not doing the right thing.
 
4. What is the cost of living this purpose? Are you willing to pay it?
Purpose stopper 101- maybe you have a purpose, a way of being that calls you to play bigger, be better and give more to the people around you, but you’re not willing to pay the toll. For some, who we want to be and what we are willing to do are very different things. Everything has a cost, in this case, there is likely something you will have to give up to gain full access to your purpose.
For example, a high performing CEO whose purpose is to dramatically improve community access to clean water or resources, is likely going to have to give up all the limiting thoughts that may get in the way of his potential rising and purpose activating. He may also have to give up the ways in which he maybe wasted time in the past- trading partying for high quality sleep to be at his best, trading drinking beer and eating crap for early morning workouts and clean foods to keep his mind sharp and body agile.
Most people don’t even think about this, they simply think “Well, when I tap into my purpose then I’ll be able to to do x,y & z AND keep doing the things I’ve always done.” The problem here is that some people have limiting beliefs and behaviours that impact their ability to truly live their life purpose. Letting go of these is the cost one must be willing to pay to level up and live their greatness.
 
5. You have one year to live from today, what would you do and how would you want to be remembered?
Write. It. Down.
Share it with someone you love and trust.
Imagine that you spent one year being the person you dreamed of, just one year. In the grand scheme of things that’s not very long. What would it take? What values would you want to live? What beliefs would stand in your way? What would you want to do? What would your obituary say? What would people say about you and who you were?
Oh, and if you are writing a bunch of crap that sounds cool just to impress a bunch of people, you’re probably not moving in the right direction. Take two steps back, connect to your ten-year-old self and remember what problem YOU want to solve.

It is at the intersection of being and doing that we find purpose. – Tweet this.

 
Uncovering one’s purpose in life is so much more than what you will ‘DO’ in this world. It is about who you will be, what you are committed to giving back to, who you will help and who you will be of service to. It is about getting off the couch and making a difference in other people’s lives and being a part of something bigger than yourself.
So be brave. Answer the questions and take some action.
Start being the Man the world needs.
If you are looking to expand your potential and are looking for the community to help make it all happen, join us for ManTalks Monday: In Pursuit Of Purpose on May 25th 2015. More event details can be found HERE
Connor BeatonConnor Beaton is the founder of ManTalks. He has learned so much about himself because of the incredible Leaders and Mentors who have been a part of his life.
A true believer in the power of reciprocity and that what you give to others you will get in return. Connor believes he is here to be of service to others, to contribute, in some way, to your life.

My Trust Mantra for the perfect adventure

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“Faith is taking the first step, even when you don’t see the whole staircase.”
Martin Luther King Jr
Ages ago, I was listening to a podcast that talked about the Huna principle that has become a mantra of mine.

“Everything is working out perfectly.”

These simple words have helped me stay on track and keep my head. When I’m feeling upset, stressed out or like things aren’t going the way they’re supposed to, I repeat this mantra in my head (or out loud) until I restore my trust.
Using this mantra helps in two ways. First, it reminds you that regardless of how bad a situation may seem, it is, in fact, the way things are supposed to be going, because if it weren’t it wouldn’t be happening. Once you can sink in and trust that this is true, a sense of calm washes over you, and the situation seems a lot less stressful.
The second is an element of the law of attraction. If you believe that your situation is wrong and not going the way it’s supposed to, “it sucks” or something along those lines, then you attract more negative things to you. The universe says: “Well, you think this is shit, so I’ll keep proving it to you.” Once you regain your trust, you will often find that miraculously, things just start going better for you. Once you relax and get back into a positive state of mind, you will attract more positivity towards you!
In the fall of 2013 I set out on a 3000 km cycling trip down the west coast from Whistler, BC to just outside San Diego, California. At first, this trip may not seem all that out there, a lot of other people have done the same and more challenging rides. But, I’ve never ridden a road bike, or done any long distance riding until about three weeks before leaving on this trip.
I did this trip solo and camped the whole way down the coast, carrying everything I needed with me. With food and all my gear, my rig weighed an average of over 100 lbs! If you’ve ever tried riding a 100 lb bike before, you’ll know it’s not an easy thing to do, especially up the hills, some of which are over 2000 vertical feet high.
My body and mind were pushed to near the breaking point quite a few times, especially at the beginning, where any journey is invariably the hardest.
Along the way, I encountered numerous events that forced me to simply trust that everything would work the way I intended and just keep moving.
Since I was going to be away for two months, I decided to sublet my room while I was gone. After showing it to a number of different people with no success, I tried one final attempt to find someone the morning I was scheduled to leave on my adventure. She seemed like a good fit, but couldn’t commit on the spot, so I had to leave without securing someone to cover my $1100 a month rent while I was gone.
I didn’t have the budget to cover the adventure without subletting the room, and that was so scary, but I just had to trust that it would work out. I’ll admit, it was rather stressful at first, but once I was a couple of hours in and almost reached Squamish I got a call from her saying that she wanted to take it!
I could have postponed or cancelled the trip, but I chose to trust and continue, and the universe did its part and helped get it all worked out.
Trust is not just important for going on adventures and accomplishing huge goals. Having a better sense of trust can help immensely with stress, anxiety, and fear as well. For all of these states are essentially a lack of trust that things will go the way you desire.
By strengthening your trust, you will not only make your journey through life more enjoyable, you will also end up attracting more of what you want into your life and reach your goals that much faster!
I have definitely strengthened my trust a lot through my many adventures, however this is not the only way to do it. Other practices such as the use of mantras, like the one I mentioned earlier, “everything is working out perfectly,” meditation… etc helps a lot too.
In the end, having trust when things are going well is easy. It’s only being able to be positive and have trust in the face of fear and uncertainty that will help you thrive and have the life you truly desire. And the best way to make that happen is to put yourself in situations that force you to trust and have faith that things will work out perfectly.
So get out there and go on your own adventure!
 

Dave Weale“When I was 5 years old, my mother always told me that happiness was the key to life. When I went to school, they asked what I wanted to be wen I grew up. I wrote down “happy.” They told me I didn’t understand the assignment. I told them they didn’t understand life.” – John Lennon

That is the foundation of Dave Weale’s beliefs and what he teaches all of his clients. Dave is a happiness coach. His clients end up being able to free up their time so they are able to focus on pursuing their passions and truly live a life they love!

He does this by teaching about mindfulness and meditation and works with people to help improve their Health, Wealth, Love and Trust. He helps people reach peak health, make more money, create more love in their lives, and trust that we are all in this together and that everything is working out perfectly!

Connect with Dave on his website, Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, LinkedIn, Hypem, and Pinterest

 

Embracing Pain with an Open Heart as an Emotionally Sensitive Guy

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Growing up, it was a struggle for me to feel a sense of belonging regardless of where I lived or who was in my life. It seemed like I was living in my own world most of the time and seemingly oblivious to what was going on around me. I always felt somehow different and disconnected. It felt like there was something wrong or missing in my life that I couldn’t quite grasp.
This presented me with a massive challenge throughout most of my life, as the core need I sought after was to feel loved and connected to others. But it seemed that no matter how hard I attempted to prove to others how “worthy” I was of their acceptance, it would only push people away.
This led to a lot pain and suffering as I could not understand why others would seemingly just gravitate towards each other in close friendships and romantic relationships and yet I was struggling to barely fit in.
My subconscious belief at the time was that people didn’t accept me because I was not “good enough” for them. I believed that if everyone simply saw how smart, resourceful, creative, and kind I was, that people would finally accept and love me.
But the harder I tried, the more people pushed me away. I was constantly ostracized by my peers and rejected by women that I conveyed interest in. These experiences further ingrained the belief that I was inherently unlovable and worthless if others would not accept me.
It was only later in my early 20’s, when I began to work on myself more seriously, that I realized how disconnected I was from my emotions and learned to shut myself down to avoid feeling all the pain and heartbreak I experienced in my life.
I actually took pride in my ability to remain completely emotionally detached from life and live up in my head. I believed that relying on emotions was a weakness and made us flawed and illogical which held us back.
This inclination towards valuing knowledge over emotion served to help me grow intellectually very rapidly. However, my relationships suffered immensely. I began to see that no matter how “smart” I got, or how much stuff I knew, it did not seem to win me any friends or make me any happier. I only managed to grow more lonely and depressed as time went on.
It was time to make radical changes in my life. I needed to shift my priorities and values to allow myself to begin truly experiencing my emotions and doing what it took to finally be “happy” and feel connected to others. This decision took me down the path of serious emotional healing work.

“… without a doubt the heart is an inexhaustible source of love, insight, and intelligence that far surpasses that of the mind.”
― Baptist de Pape

It felt like I had opened my own emotional Pandora’s box and was not prepared to handle what came out. All my old wounds involving my insecurities, abandonment, rejection, and heartbreak rushed to the surface screaming for my attention.
Growing up I had accumulated a plethora of experiences to ingrain the belief that I was worthless and unlovable, from regular bullying in school to mental abuse at home. I adapted to absorb it all by shutting down emotionally so I wouldn’t have to feel the pain. However, if you shut yourself off from feeling pain, you also shut yourself off from experiencing much of anything else too.
Until then, I never considered myself an emotionally sensitive person. But after beginning to navigate this unknown emotional landscape, my only impulse was to attempt to shut down again in the hope of avoiding the intensity of a lifetime’s worth of pain.
On this journey of healing, I recognized and began to embrace my emotional sensitivity as a gift. And the lesson that I am continually reminded of (often painfully) is that we must learn to keep our hearts open despite the pain.

“When you open to your heart, your entire world changes–it opens up around you. You see yourself as part of a friendly universe, one that is full of possibility, one that is generating and regenerating a positive energy.”
― Baptist de Pape

My greatest breakthroughs and lessons came from staying with the pain and continuing to remain present with my feelings rather than shutting down. As an emotionally sensitive person, it’s easy to become overwhelmed and simply to shut down and build up walls in attempt to protect your heart.
I had suffered many years before I learned this powerful lesson that completely shifted my experience. It didn’t shield me from other inevitable pain and disappointments, but it provided me with the capacity to continue feeling my feelings despite the circumstances.
It has made me and my heart stronger knowing that I am capable of moving through any experiences that may arise, no matter how challenging. In the face of great emotional turmoil, I will stand my ground and not run away or shut down.

“The power of the heart is to be connected with who you are at the deepest level.”
~ Eckhart Tolle

This is ultimately the path of true transformation and growth. If we truly wish to experience the fullest depth of our being and what is possible for us, then we must have the courage to face ourselves and continue to keep ourselves open.
 
27452285564476.LvXmKGeoHA8XFcMkttiQ_height640Alexanndre Levan is dedicated to living a self-actualized life. He shares his facility to bring wisdom and consciousness teachings down-to-earth to empower those on the path of spiritual awakening. He is especially committed to illuminating and activating the path for Millennial Leaders to live meaningful and purposeful lives, realizing their potential through embracing the higher-consciousness that is coming into the world today.
Connect with Alexanndre on his blog and Facebook Page

Being Comfortable in the Mystery

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Tell me about your spirituality… Huh?! What? Um, OK…
Being asked to speak at ManTalks about spirituality, I asked myself do I have any more to offer about this topic than anyone else?!
What is spirituality, what is consciousness, why are we here, why does all of this even exist? Where can we begin? How does one describe the indescribable? How do you attempt to use definitive and limiting language to explain or convey personal, subjective experiences?
To me, spirituality seems to be the conscious (or unconscious) relationship we have with the present moment. No matter what that seems to be for each of us, there is a truth we can all agree on; we are here, now. We do exist. So that’s something. That is something we can build upon. And whether we are aware of it or not, we are still having a spiritual experience.
What is consciousness?
Well… I don’t know. But it seems to include a number of things: how we perceive the world, our thoughts, being aware, our intentions and more. I tend to lean more towards the notion that consciousness is a fundamental property of the universe, not something confined strictly to our brains.
It seems that a correlation between consciousness and our material world does exist in some way, shape or form. You can rationalize this by the notion of intelligence. I see intelligence as something that can respond to the environment in some organized way. This can be taken all the way down to sub-atomic particles interacting with one another based off of their various physical properties of mass, charge or polarity, velocity or trajectory. At some level consciousness could be a part of all that exists. And as these patterns of nature layer upon layer build on one another, the reactivity between matter and the environment evolves and appears more complex. And this layering of complexity could link those subatomic particles all the way to Miley Cyrus twerking on a stage!
“Everything in its most basic form is not matter but energy.” – Unknown.
I have always tried to be as open as possible to ideas, philosophies and phenomenon. But ultimately what helped me formulate my personal relationship with the present moment (all that is), up until this current point, comes down to the exploring my curiosity.
 
Travelling
Anything that takes you out of your daily patterns, rhythms, and behaviours can stretch your mind and touch your heart in unpredictable ways.
When I set out traveling, I did not have a conscious spiritual intention. But backpacking around the globe, be it solo or in small groups, shook me up so much that I couldn’t help but feel and experience the expansion of my consciousness.
When you travel, everything is new and different. The climate, the cities, the sights and sounds, the food and smells, the language and culture. You’ll get derailed from your usual automatized way of being externally and internally. It becomes easy to be present because you’re always able to observe the simple things of life that we often become numb to.
Plus you connect with others of our earth tribe, and that is always a rich connection to experience as well. It is for these reasons and more that traveling can become a spiritual experience, a prolonged period of deep connection to the earth, people, and the present moment.
 

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Photo Credit: Mike Zaremba (Yoga Practice, India)

 
Practices
Much like traveling can catalyze a greater state of presence and connection to whatever is, there are pantheons of other practices that can ultimately do the same thing.
The act of deautomatization and bringing one’s self into the present moment, deeply connecting to one’s self, and the rest of the universe, through the portals of ourselves (our minds, hearts, and bodies), is ultimately what a consistent practice can bring you.
Practicing yogic asanas (physical exercise) and meditations (Vipassana, pranayama, and floating) can send you deep into altered states of consciousness, not usually experienced in our contemporary westernized world fueled by caffeine and alcohol.
Our whole lives exist along a spectrum of consciousness. Our state of consciousness is always in flux. Simple things like low-blood sugar will affect our state. Likewise a full nights rest will also affect our state of consciousness. Drinking alcohol, smoking cigarettes, running 20 km, will also alter our state of consciousness. It is our personal labels that decide if something is a positive or negative state to us.
It is only through putting yourself into clear, yet definitively altered states of consciousness; that will cause you to have a greater perspective on things.
Author, philosopher, and psychonaut Terence McKenna says that only when you PERTURB consciousness enough in certain ways do we notice that it is even there at all. He equates it to humans swimming in a sea of consciousness, and it is not until you alter your state that you are able to perceive the water. He cleverly says that whoever discovered water surely wasn’t a fish. It is not until we can shift our state of consciousness enough to perceive it from a different space that we can better understand the nature of our consciousness.
When I commit to a regular practice of asana, seated meditation or floating (I am often doing a constant combination of all 3) it usually sends me into a hypersensitive state of calm and stillness. It helps to cut through the habitual patterns of thought that may or may not be serving me and shifts me into a state of groundedness and/or elevates me into a state of floatingness. I find that each practice begins to synergistically affect one another as well. The various practices can bring me into a similar space, but each coming from a unique direction that generates a unique experience and understanding.
It is these sorts of practices that allow me to become so calm and peaceful that I can comfortably release and surrender into my current totality of myself in the present moment. And even when I notice some resistance, usually generated by the ego (my identification with form), they have taught me to release as much as I can each time. I have found this ability to surrender to be extremely helpful when reacting to something that hasn’t gone to plan, something perceivably negative, which can always be reframed into a lesson or greater understanding. I try to make every negative turn into a teaching that will then serve me.
 

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Photo Credit: Mike Zaremba (Peru, Ayahuasca Alter)

Entheogens
The lessons of surrender, releasing or letting go via the practices above have helped me to dive deep into my subconscious with acceptance, compassion and courage when I’ve explored the plant teachers of this earth.
Last year I came out of the closet, so to speak, about my personal use with these currently controversial and inappropriately illegal substances.
I don’t think that the use of substances like psilocybin mushrooms, Ayahuasca, or cannabis should be used in a recreational environment, but ideally regulated and safely used with the guidance of experienced elders or in a setting with a deeper intention.
Those who have been to the other side and back, and have a sound grasp of navigating, not only the deeper layers of themselves, but also into these deep, mystical realms that these plants seem to reveal when consumed, are ideally those who should introduce these vegetable allies to others.
The entire nature of our neurophysiological interaction with these plants is truly taking things to another level that I don’t recommend everyone to do. Just like I would not suggest a person with heart disease and high risk to a myocardial infarction take a hike up the Grouse Grind. But I do feel with the appropriate perquisites and intentions there are many who would experience massive personal benefits by using these Entheogens with respect, reverence, and guidance.
The term Entheogen is my preferred use instead of psychedelic or hallucinogen. It means generating the divine within. Personally, I can say that these substances have cultivated many profound personal insights, revelations, and understandings for me. They have revealed patterns of limiting beliefs that I was previously not aware of. They have opened my heart (the seed or gateway of our spirituality) in ways I did not know I could. And they have shown me by direct experience other planes of existence. I have encountered spirits and have come to my personal conclusions that this world is magic. I cannot say it any other way.
At the risk of sounding like a flake, I still say this; for the experiences I have had up until this point Magic is the best way I can describe it. The plants can talk, there are other Beings, and we have much to learn.
I look forward to any and all comments. Please don’t take my words on blind faith, put them to your tests. Develop your own models and relationships with your existence, your life experience in this infinite and beautiful universe. That is the only way.
In the words of Van Morrison: “No guru, no method, no teacher, just you and me and Mother Nature. In the garden, in the garden, wet with rain.”
Thank you.

27089502628343.LcfNP0c2TPW9uGxVfOzP_height640Mike Zaremba is a Certified Strength and Conditioning Specialist who no longer works directly in this field, but rather is now the co-founder of Float House, Vancouver’s first commercial float centre in Vancouver in over 20 years. He and his brother, Andy, are now leaders within this rapidly growing industry with the ultimate goal of making floating into a mainstream practice and tool actively used by contemporary medicine. He’s an avid world traveller and is always looking to challenge himself by getting into those uncomfortable experiences in life. Mike is a Vancouverite transplant originally from Mississauga, ON and now calls North Vancouver home.
Connect with Mike on Twitter and Facebook

Recapping An Incredible Night! – ManTalks Role Models and Mentors

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Well, we did it again… another epic, inspiring and sold out ManTalks Monday at our new event space at HOOTSUITE HQ! 
First off BIG thanks and appreciation to the team at Hootsuite, who opened up their space, helped us set up/take down and stayed off the clock to help make this all happen for our community!
If you missed the evening, read on for a quick recap of the night, and if you were there, we’ve highlighted our favourite moments and would love to hear yours.
 
9d098739-2cc8-4231-9da5-90a15963c68aManTalks Role Models and Mentors kicked off with a wonderful introduction by our founder Connor Beaton.
This month we brought four local speakers to our stage to share their journeys of mentorship, role models, and the impact fatherhood has had on their ability to lead, inspire and connect to purpose.
It was a night filled with laughter, deep insights and inspiration from each speaker and wonderful engagement from the community.
 
 
 
81feb756-2167-4db6-8699-9b0b46fc0b72Andy Zaremba
The first speaker to take our stage on Monday was Andy Zaremba from Float House.
Our four biggest takeaways from Andy:

  • Before you can become a role model, you have first to take care of yourself, deal with your “stuff” and learn how to become accountable to yourself.
  • Challenges are along your path for you to move THROUGH. It is in the darkest times that you are lead towards and through exactly what you need to face to become your greatest version of yourself.
  • Becoming a father while unexpected and filled with many unanticipated challenges has become Andy’s biggest access to experiencing unconditional love.
  • Being vulnerable takes great courage and strength. By doing so, you create the space for others to follow your lead, drop into their hearts, get real with themselves and have experiences that truly matter.

 
808f334c-bd48-4c25-9bc3-06266680d15bRicky Shetty
Our second speaker was Ricky Shetty from Daddy Blogger
Our four biggest takeaways from Ricky:

  • The best quality in a mentor is their ability to truly listen.
  • We always run the risk of repeating the patterns of our parents and early childhood role models and the ability to change patterns of dysfunctional behavior reside 100% in your willingness to freely choose to become someone different.
  • One of the keys to healing these past patterns is forgiveness.
  • Mentors have the capacity and responsibility of believing in you. They see things in you that you currently can’t. Their ability to see these qualities in you and remind you regularly leads to a life-changing tipping point where their belief in you helps you to begin believing in yourself.

 
5f0b240d-3474-4fb7-a644-f7dba8f49e36Horrasias Balabyekkubo
Our third speaker of the night was Horrasias Balabyekkubo Philanthropist and Inspirational Speaker.
Our four biggest takeaways from Horrasias:

  • The role of the masculine is to Protect, Provide and Preserve the love and innocence of the ones who look up to you for your guidance and leadership.
  • Becoming a father is one of the greatest ways in which he could directly give back to the world by loving extraordinarily.
  • We are so fearful of being excellent but you are born for great things and it is up to you to guide your purpose from within and not let anything or anyone take away what you are destined to become. Challenges and hardships have the potential to completely erode your positive life view any by remaining congruent with who you really are in those great times of challenge, you become an example of purpose, love and truth in action.
  • The importance of giving freely. To truly understand the nature of giving and unconditional love you have to be willing to be part of the experience. There is a difference between intellectualizing and experiencing. To become legendary you must be willing to dive into the experience of love fully and completely.

 
 69510dcb-324b-44b2-b164-801e98caccf7Dai Manual
Our final speaker of the evening was Dai Manual COO of Fitness Town Inc.
Our four biggest takeaways from Dai:

  • Making promises to others has no real significant impact until you learn how to make and keep promises to yourself.
  • Mentors truly want to know who you are and are equipped in asking the right questions to understand who you really are behind all the smoke and mirrors of your life.
  • The pain of living a dual life provides you with the opportunity to become more compassionate and a better listener- two fundamental qualities in role models and mentors who have the potential to make a profound positive difference in the lives of future generations.
  • Nothing is finite or determined. No matter what choices you have made in the past every moment is an opportunity to change something and in his words “become the type of man you would want your daughters to spend the rest of their lives with.”

 
Our final takeaway of the night was a question posed to the audience from our founder:

“Who do you want to have a deeper relationship with? What is stopping you?”

We want to hear from YOU!
Share your insights, takeaways and breakthroughs with us! Using the hashtag #mantalks on all social media forums will help us find you and keep the inspired conversations going!
Next ManTalks Monday will take place on May 25th at Hootsuite, where we’ll be diving into the theme: Masculinity and Purpose. Tickets go on sale soon so keep an eye on your inbox!
Team ManTalks

How I Became A Better Son

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Imagine this: it’s your last conversation with your father. He’s sitting across from you and you need to say all the things you haven’t said or have always wanted to say to him but haven’t. I faced this reality, but not because my father’s life was in jeopardy (thankfully) but because I didn’t have the type of relationship with him I wanted. This thought changed everything.
What about you? What would you say? What would you reveal or ask if you KNEW it was the last conversation? Think about that while you read on…
Like 38% of children born in the 80’s I grew up in a divorced family, living with my mom (and her new family) and every second weekend with my dad (and his new family). He was, in many ways, my idol. I always wanted to be around him, ask him endless questions and, of course, gain his approval. Needless to say, my expectations for him were at times a little unrealistic.
I grew up wanting a different type of relationship than the one we had. I wanted more connection, more time, more advice, more everything. I thought since he was my dad that he should know and fulfill my expectations.
This led to frustration because for years I expected things without communicating. I expected phone calls, support, money, and time.
I got frustrated with our relationship because I felt he just didn’t care. So I called less, told him less, and expected less. It seemed like we were drifting apart which upset me.
It wasn’t until my late twenties when my life was on the verge of falling apart that I finally broke down and had a real conversation with my dad.
My relationship with my girlfriend of 4 years was falling apart because I had been unfaithful for over a year and couldn’t bring myself to ask anyone for help. I was carrying around a massive amount of guilt and shame and didn’t know who to talk to.
I visited my dad and family at the lake one weekend and communicated some of my fears, struggles, and dilemmas. I hoped that if anyone would understand and not be judgmental it would be him.
Standing on the pier overlooking the lake while drinking a scotch late one night I told it felt like I was failing at life. My relationship was a failure because of my choices, and I was hurting the woman I loved. I didn’t like the career I chose. I was miserable, ashamed, and I felt like “real life” was much harder than I had anticipated.
He shared some of his personal experiences and helped me see that we all have a path, we make choices and if they are not the right ones, we get a chance to make different ones (most of the time).
I told him I felt like an out of control monster who was trapped by the idea that ‘the grass is greener on the other side.’ He laughed and told me words of wisdom that are a constant reminder to this day. He said, “CB, the grass is always going to be greener on the other side because bullshit helps grass grow.”
We had a good laugh and at that moment I knew that — even though there might be an even darker time around the corner — he would be there no matter what.
Shortly after our talk I did fall into that darker place. The relationship came crashing down because I was caught in my lies. I left the music career I was working towards and found myself broke and alone.
During that time, I started to see how much I had been letting life and circumstances make my choices for me. I was playing the victim. I’m sure my dad saw it, but he was wise enough to let it run its course.
I slowly started to take matters into my own hands and realized that if I wanted a better relationship with him — or anyone else in my life — that it needed to start with me. So, I built a solid connection with my dad and through everything he has been a rock in my life ever since.
After many years of practice, here’s what I learned about how to be a great son and enjoy a great relationship with my Dad.  Remember — it’s never too late 🙂
1) Stop expecting shit from your Dad. If you want a relationship, make it happen. Want money? Make your own. Want to have a beer with him? Buy him one. Want his respect? Earn it — don’t just expect it.
Although asking for help from him is great and much needed sometimes, expecting things and not communicating them will only lead to frustration.
2) Understand what he’s interested in. This doesn’t mean you have to follow in his footsteps and have the same career (although I tried that). But it does mean that you need to understand what he’s interested in so you can connect about the things that matter to him. This shows you’re not selfish in the relationship.
3) Let him know what you need. Remember, your dad isn’t a mind reader. He may be intuitive and know when things are off, but ultimately he isn’t going to know what you need unless you tell him. If you want to have a call with him once a week to catch up and share your wins, tell him. Dads want to help and they want you to succeed.
4) Ask him for help. Dads are like any other guy — they want to fix shit. When you have problems, let them help you. They may not have the perfect answer, but at least they can help and feel of service. Dads want to feel useful, especially when it comes to their kids. This doesn’t mean you should ask for a new car or a bunch of money, but it might mean going to him for career advice while having a scotch.
5) Express your gratitude. Tell him he’s done a great job (this can be the hardest part). Sometimes all your dad needs is for you to tell him he’s done a great job and that he’s made a difference in your life.
Dads are proud, and they don’t expect anything from you. They are often so selfless and don’t ask for the gratitude they need, so when you give them thanks it can change everything.
With that in mind, ask yourself: What if this was the last conversation with my Dad? What would I do differently?
You don’t need to take all of these steps at once, but there is probably one that stuck out the most. Maybe it’s just a call to say thank you for being there. Maybe it’s a tough call about how you don’t have as good of a bond as you would like and are committed to making more of an effort. Either way, you know what action you need to take. So start now.
Read More By ManTalks founder, Connor Beaton:
5 Epic Questions to Help You Find Your Life Purpose
__________
Connor BeatonConnor Beaton is the founder of ManTalks. Connor credits his growth and success to the incredible leaders and mentors in his life.
A true believer in the power of reciprocity and that what you give to others you will get in return. Connor believes he is here to be of service to others and to contribute to your life.
 

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Role Models And Mentors: Why Are They So Important?

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I believe there are many role models in the world but very few Mentors. A role model can be anyone you look up to, whose behaviors you might imitate. A mentor is a person with experience who acts as a guide for you.
We are shown examples of role models in the media constantly. Some are good, and others are not. Often the media highlights examples of role models when they are in the middle of some personal crisis or meltdown.
The problem is, human beings are sponges! Even if a role model behaves badly, there will be people who imitate and copy that behaviour, especially when those behaviours get a lot of media attention. That’s the reason media does not publicize suicides, or at least, shouldn’t, cause whenever there’s a high profile suicide, suicide rates will go up.
As adults, most of us can differentiate good behavior from bad. In fact, bad role models can demonstrate what not to do! And we can learn from their mistakes.
However, role models have a bigger influence over children and young people. Young people will often focus on the attention the negative behaviour attracts and may act out in similar ways for that reason. That is why the more publicity certain acts of violence or crime receive, such as high school shooting sprees, it’s very likely similar events will occur in other areas in the country or around the world.
I believe that if you are a parent you automatically become a role model for your children. Even if you are an absent parent, you will be shaping the views and beliefs of the child you have left behind and how they relate to people and the world. That’s not a judgment, just a fact.
As the father of a little girl, I am very cognizant of the fact that one day my daughter will most likely become romantically involved with someone very similar to me. She’ll also model her future relationships around the behaviour she observes in my current relationship.
The good news is, if I play my cards right, I won’t have to worry about the first guy she brings home (hopefully!)
As a parent, it’s my goal to become a mentor to my child. I hope to one day be able to share the accumulated knowledge from my life to help her avoid certain pitfalls.
Of course, I’m not so naïve to think that my daughter won’t make “mistakes.” But as long as I’m alive I’ll be there to help and support her when things don’t work out, like that first boyfriend!
And the one thing I’m sure of that I will always provide her with the unconditional love that only a father can give.
Having a mentor can help you reach higher levels of success. A great mentor will be there when your confidence is shaken or when you fall flat on your face! A mentor can prevent you from getting too far off course and get you back on track.
In a world where a Role Model might be a PGA Champion one day and then crash his Cadillac SUV into a tree while driving drunk the next (allegedly), having a mentor is a better bet. So be sure to hang on to that great mentor and to respect and honour that relationship.
Never take it lightly or for granted if you are lucky enough to have someone take you under their wing to help guide you through this life. And if you don’t have a mentor, make it a must to get one.
 
Andy ZarembaAndy Zaremba is the Co-host of the Vancouver Real podcast and the Co-founder/ owner of Float House (Vancouver’s first Float centre in over 20 years).
No matter which realm he’s playing in, he strives to be the best man he can possibly be, bringing his greatest efforts forth to his family, friends, & community. His precious daughter, Ella Faith, is truly a gift & continues to be a significant inspiration & strength in his life.
Andy has a fascination for learning & a deep passion for personal growth whether it be through books, courses, public speaking, podcasts, floating, & the like. He believes that growth is infinite & stagnation does not exist; the journey is purely about expansion & living fully with excellence regardless of the “imperfections”.

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