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10 Life Lessons Every Man Should Learn In Their 20s

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In this article, I feel really privileged to share with you some key insights and “aha” moments that I learned before I say goodbye to my twenties in August 27, 2015.
You and I live in a world of cause and effect. Every action has an equal reaction. The choices we make today, especially in our 20s, will determine what happens later on in our lives.
Whether you’re on your own and moving forward with your career or still with your parents and figuring out what to do, I want you to realize something. If you’re not mindful of how you spend your time, it’ll be gone before you know it. It’s easy to get lost in the transition from not having any significant responsibilities to facing the “real world.”
You may not see it immediately but at some point, you’ll have to face the consequences the decisions you’re making today. Your 20s, also knowns as your “defining decade,” matters and you should make the most out of it.
Here are some of the most important lessons every man should be aware of in order to become successful later on in their lives.
10 Life Lessons Every Man Should Know In Their 20s
Don’t Stay In A Job That You Hate
With the amount of time you have to invest in building a career, make sure it should be something you’re really interested in. You’re in a perfect time in your life right now to figure that out because you’re still young.
Trust me when I say this: the pursuit of more money doesn’t satisfy any longer once your basic needs are met. I encourage you to go ahead and take more risk while you don’t have a lot to lose.
If you’re working a job you hate, it’s your responsibility to do something about it. Until you find what you love to do, keep looking.
Life is too short to settle.
You Don’t Have To Go To School
We live in a time where there’s nothing you can’t find online. Education has changed and the way we process information is significantly different from before.
Unless you’ve chosen a profession that needs formal credentials, like Law, Medicine or Engineering, you don’t really need to pursue higher education to have a successful career.
If you feel like you’re sitting in class, twiddling your thumbs and bored out of your mind, that setting may not be right for you.
Figure out what kind of work energizes you and find resources to study about it. Go to conferences and connect with other people who already have results that you want.
If you’re learning something you enjoy, you’re much more likely to put all in. People pay for results, they don’t care about your credentials.
Pursuit knowledge rather money.
Choose Your Friends Wisely
Here’s the greatest life hack of all time: the quickest way to change is to surround yourself with the kind of people you aspire to be like. Who you’re around with all the time will have a significant impact on how you turn out to be.
When you act in integrity with the vision of who you want to become, not everybody is going to like you. As hard as it may be, let go of relationships that are not supportive of your goals. Find new ones that will.
Your environment is stronger than your will power. Constantly put yourself in situations where you’re around people who will celebrate your successes, no matter how small.
It’s Okay To Stay Single
I’m going to make an important distinction right here so pay attention. There’s a big difference between being alone and feeling lonely.
Being alone is a choice that you make to do what you want. It’s about learning how to and be in good company with yourself. The feeling of loneliness stems from a place of lack where you feel incomplete. When you come from this place, you’ll seek out acceptance from others to validate your self-worth.
Your 20s should be spent on figuring out your identity and defining your core values. Focus on activities that will increase your self-esteem. Know who you are and what you really want. Other people can’t do that for you.
Gain Wisdom From Travelling
You’d be surprised how much you’ll learn a lot about yourself when you’re taken away from your daily routine. When you travel, there’s a feeling of anonymity that you experience when you’re in a new environment.
You can show up as whoever you want. There’s no one to tell you otherwise. Travelling is a great way to reinvent yourself.
Go ahead and give yourself permission to become who you aspire to be. Travel to places you’ve always wanted to see, connect with people who you look up to and lead your life in a direction that’s right for you.
Define Your Own Purpose
What you’re meant to do in your life isn’t something that you find behind a bush or underneath a rock. It’s something you decide for yourself. Take more risk, especially while you don’t have a lot of obligations.
If money wasn’t an issue, what’s something you would love to do? What’s a topic you would enjoy learning more about?
The moment you’re in alignment with your purpose, you’ll do remarkable things as a by-product. You’ll feel so immersed in what you do that sleeping becomes the worst part of your day.
When you’re leaping out of bed because you can’t wait to get to work, that’s when people begin to take notice.
It’s hard not to because passion is very contagious.
Avoid Comparing Yourself To Others
The best way to feel like you’re not good enough is to keep looking at what other people have. Success in life is very subjective. Everyone has their own definition of what makes them happy.
What’s the point of being alive if you just want to be like everybody else?
Learn to play your own game. Set your goals and work hard at achieving them. Spend your days in a way that inspires your future self.
Self-worth comes from being thankful for what you already have. Whatever you appreciate, appreciates
Invest In Yourself, Not On Things
Nothing in life is permanent. Material assets can be easily taken away.
When you focus on the internal, you’ll get external abundance as a by-product and more. Wealth is a mindset. It’s a shift in your perspective that will cause you to do things differently.
Invest in your personal development rather than things that are temporary. Knowledge and experience can never be stolen.
Make Mistakes Often
There’s something transformational that happens when you go through experiences in your life that push you out of your comfort zone.
When you get close to the edge, you have two choices: you can either take a leap of faith and step into your higher potential or you can step back and make room for others who are going to.
Integrity is a habit that you have to consciously decide on a daily basis. It’s a choice that you make to honour the truth of what you think is right for yourself.
But first, you have to sit through the discomfort of uncertainty for a period of time and trust in the process. Wisdom only comes from circumstances that challenge you.
Character is forged through pressure and hardships. When you’re going through tough moments, be thankful! View challenging situations in your life as an opportunity to grow.
Broke And Poor Are Not The Same
Being broke is a temporary state that people go through in their journey. It’s when they pay their dues to get the skills and experience to become successful.
Being poor is a permanent state of mind. It’s a way of thinking that limits people from achieving abundance because they don’t think there’s enough for everyone.
The path to success is never linear. As you embark on your journey to self-discovery and self-fulfillment, you’ll go through tough moments inevitably.
Never wish for things to be easy because it won’t be. Instead, ask for strength to be able to endure and persevere. Those who come out on the other side are rewarded with more.
Being broke for a while is not a bad thing. As long as you have a plan and are taking massive action to create value for other people, success is inevitable.
Myke MacapinlacAbout Myke Macapinlac 
Myke Macapinlac is the Program Director of Social Man Project. His mission is to help shy men become socially confident so they can create the dating life they deserve.
If you would like to learn a proven strategy to meet quality women even if you feel like you’re not good enough, save your seat by visiting www.socialmanproject.com
Connect with Myke on: Facebook or Twitter

Man Of The Week – Horrasias Balabyekkubo

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For those of you who have attended our events in the past, you may have heard about this week’s ‘Man Of The Week’: Horrasias Balabyekkubo. Horrasias is an incredible human being with a wealth of talents ranging from a being loving father, a successful entrepreneur, a visionary philanthropist, an author and a motivational speaker, to name a few! From the age of 14, Horrasias began taking steps to plan his future, sought out mentorship from community leaders and making his dream a reality. Having lived on three continents, Horrasias has a wealth of stories that will send tingles down your spine, inspire you to find your purpose, live in integrity with it, and to help lay the foundation for future generations.

  1. Age: 32

  2. What do you do? (For work)
    Brand Ambassador and Distributor for Enagic Canada, Project Director at a Primary and Secondary School in Uganda and an Author.

  3. Why do you do it?
    I do it because it gives me the opportunity to give back in a life giving way to the current society I live in and across the globe. As a director it allows me to continue to build the vision of the school as well as set it on a higher trajectory for greater impact in the community we serve and the nation as a whole. I write because what I have found is; my sharpest weapon to dethrone mediocrity from the lives of young people and my greatest tool move this generation forward is my pen.

  4. How do you make a difference in the world? (Work, business, life, family, self)
    I make a difference in the world remaining constant, consistent and determined to see every man, woman and child meet their true self. By writing words that inspire, teaching the practical steps to attain fulfillment and speaking in motivational tones to ignite passion and determination in the hearts of my listeners. By staying open and vulnerable before the people it shows that the only way forward for any individual is to find that harmony and balance in the shared experience mankind by recognizing the heart of another human as significant as their own. With my children, it is simple, blow their mind daily with showing them anything is possible with determination and hard work and a lot of imagination. Setting them on a foundation of joy and compassion goes a long way to help them realize their true potential. At work the balance comes to me in delivering superior quality service and discipline in my own individual effort thereby shifting the culture among my colleagues to present our excellence to the market place. We set the standard high.

  5. What are 3 defining moments in your life?
    1. At 19 I realized, that at 6 years old I had known all along and I had delivered with precision the oracles of God with out fear and with reckless abandon, I knew who I was and why I was here; from that moment I was determined and walked with discipline to bring forth that same vigour and excellence to whatever I would do in my life and vowed never to forget my purpose again nor dim its light to “fit in” with the masses of men.
    2. My first trip back to my homeland after 12 years of being away was one of those defining moments in my life to set me on course to reaching and attaining my destiny. I was in college and had bought the marketing plan of North America: go to school, get the degree, get a job at a reputable organization, work 40 years, retire well. But it was landing into Entebbe Airport, seeing Lake Victoria and the vibrant colours of the soil and greenery, the red tile roofs mixed in that told me there was something more for my life. You see North America has a way of lulling one to sleep, or choosing the safety and complacency of mediocre exploits over the grand design and purpose for ones life. It was those 37 days in Uganda changed everything. From leaving my chosen field of expertise to enlisting in battle against injustice and poverty, choosing that my life would be spent in defence of the widow and the orphan, the last, the lost, the least and the nearly dead. I knew that this was the raging desire of my life, the constant purpose to carry me through the darkness and the fog. This was to be my magnum opus.
    3. When my son was born. August 25th, 2009 changed everything. It was the culminating event of my young manhood. I had dreamed of being a husband and father for so long that on that day, I was in heaven, the whole earth faded away and all at once I was one with the divine as I opened my mouth to speak the first words he would hear from his father, his defender and protector; I looked into his blue eyes and spoke, “you are my son, in whom all my life has found meaning, I will dare to embolden you to reach for your greatness, I will never leave you, I will defend you against the perils that life will bring, but most important I will love you for all time. You are born of fire, to be fire and to breed fire. A man of the horse and spear. Defender of the realm. You will arise, you will stand, you will conquer.” I sang to him the songs of my father in Luganda, and we became One soul. My Daughter was born May 24, 2011. I was speechless. my heart stopped and danced with rapture. I was now a King among men, I was now to raise these two to the light of their purpose. Life’ Song was worth dancing again. From the first, Fatherhood has been the crowning achievement of my life. Everything else is noise.

  6. What is your life purpose?
    My life’s purpose is to inspire young men and young women to live at their optimum level of impact. Teaching them to marshall their faculties to achieve their chief aim and ultimate purpose in life. To build an army of like minded individuals who want to build great and thriving communities so the generations to come will be living in balance, moving with clock work precision towards maximum impact, disciplined in thought, excellent in conduct, noble in deeds.

  7. How did you tap into it?
    I went back to Uganda when I was 21 and it was on the mountains of Rwanda that I got the spark and it was in the valley of Tyler, Texas where the blueprint was found. I then spent the next 11 years learning, tweaking, and masterminding the plan that will culminate in Operation Trailblazer Dec 31,2015. It took going back to my roots, going off the beaten track and off what I thought my purpose was, questioning what was handed to me as my chief aim by my family, friends and teachers, that I was able to see the signs, the writing on the wall and the omens that would guide me to my greatest treasure.

  8. Who is your Role-Model or Mentor?
    My greatest role model is my father, John Deogratias Balabyekkubo, a Son, Brother, Father, Husband, Friend, Activist, Pioneer, Author, Musician, Playwright, Disciple, Apostle, Preacher, Missionary,Philanthropist, Leader, Visionary, Luminary, Revolutionary, Maverick, the list is endless. He is my father, my friend, confidant and constant north. Defender of my dreams, preserver of my virtue, he is my best example of what a man looks like and what a father loves like, what a husband acts like, what INTEGRITY sounds, tastes, feels, looks, smells like. Oh and he was the sharpest dressed man I have ever seen. He loved God and he served his people.

  9. Do you have any daily habits? If so, what are they?
    Daily Method of Operation is crucial to attain your best from yourself. It demands discipline to achieve any success in any venture. Even if the venture is relaxing, you must do it in a disciplined way so you can maximize the benefit of it. For me that means Reading two hours a day, then studying or mastering your craft gets an hour and a half daily; Physical exercise gets an hour and fifteen minutes, then work on your necessary projects such as income generating activities, networking and building relationships. The bulk of my time however is spent in fostering the seeds of excellence and epic-ness in the imaginations of my two glorious children.

  10. When do you know your work/life balance is off?
    I know my life and work balance is off when it starts to feel like there is not enough time to do the “joy” activities. You get so excited sometimes about a particular project that you begin to get consumed by its manifestation. Which often relegates the important things to the side for the time being, now don’t get me wrong there are seasons when you have to put priority and importance on said projects but for me I always try to include my two top priorities in whatever I do so I never neglect preserving the wonder in their lives. So the moment I am to “IN” to a certain project that I have to say no to any of the requests I normally would gladly do with the Royals. I stop and reassess the plan and rectify it, because they are never going to feel second to any mission, person, or goal. It’s all for them.

  11. Vulnerability is a challenge for most men – share a vulnerable moment from your life with us.
    Vulnerability is the wellspring of creative growth. I truly believe that when you lay bare your heart and soul you can look at and live your life in front of you. I was honoured and blessed to be apart of a ManTalks event that was based on mentors and fatherhood. I was blessed to share the stage with great men and even more humbled to hear their stories. I spoke on my father’s influence on my life and the way I parent my children; as I was speaking I felt this great opening in my heart to really love the people present there in the room, to really show them that I was a man who was unafraid of discussing life, liberty and the pursuit of epic-ness. I spoke about wounds that I have thought had healed and fresh scars from recent events that have sought to un-man me. The experience was exhilarating and educational both for the audience and myself. I felt as if I had let the world see me for the first time unafraid to be seen.

  12. What did you learn from it?
    I learnt All my life, after my father’s death I have sought to lead a life of polish and poise; but it was this unmasking in front of two hundred plus new friends that helped me see that I could be free to lead my life to the full again. It taught me to go with ‘Plan A’ every time, show your fullness. I am going to quote a t.v show Friday Night Lights, the football team had the team mantra: “clear eyes, full hearts, can’t lose.”

  13. If you are or were going to be a mentor for another man, what is one piece of advice you would give him?
    If I were to mentor any man; I would simply tell him “find the honesty within you again. Look inside and be really real with yourself, pull back every layer, peak into every crevice and find your humanity, what makes you authentic is not just being sincere, its being truthful about your motives, intents, and core value. So it is vital you know what they are and how to deliver them into the market place of ideas and life.” Teachability says, I may know it already but there may be another way to do it. Let me seek it out. Learn, Learn, Learn, then Implement the knowledge.

  14. How do you be the best partner (Boyfriend/Husband- past or present)
    The key to being the best partner is simple; be willing. Willing to learn from each other, Willing to hold your partner at their absolute worst and celebrate them at their best even when you don’t “feel” like it. Willing to communicate your needs in a way that can actually get the result or desired end you have in mind. Be willing to Love for loving’s sake; not for a pat on the back, or to get something, just simply to Love your partner in a way that would inspire them to rise to their greatest self. Be willing to show yourself at any given moment to reassure your partner that they have free access to your heart especially when you want to close off and run. Be willing to admit wrong, be willing to be still and listen, be willing to grow. Be willing to show up consistently.

  15. Do you support any Charities or Not-for-profits? (Which one(s) and why?)
    I work with Bavubuka Foundation and Cleft of the Rock Foundation which use the arts, education and social entrepreneurship to impact various communities in Uganda and in the diaspora. Working with youth to influence their communities at large. The reason for my continued involvement is I believe in equipping the next generation to step into the halls of power fully armed with reason, a sense of equality and justice for all as well as the self discipline and governance within that will keep them on the path of high moral values, integrity and service to the communities they work in.

  16. If your life had a theme song, what would it be?
    Like a Rock, Bob Seger

  17. Where do you see yourself in 3 years?
    Three years from now I will be finishing phase one of Operation Trailblazer, I will be based out of Uganda, East Africa, building infrastructure projects in rural areas. I will be leading two thousand young people and developing training schools and other entrepreneurial pursuits to bolster the robust plan in phase two . Also at that time I will be balancing out all that legendary stuff at my farm at Kilindi, Uganda as a gentleman farmer.

  18. What legacy do you want to leave for future generations?
    Love, Loyalty, Legacy. These three principles are at the core of my being and my compass home. The Legacy I want to leave for future generations is Love God, Love his people. We are all human, we are all endowed by our creator with greatness. If we serve one another and help one another on the path to our greatness we will surely get to that desired better world we have all been taught about all our lives but have never seen. I want to go there with you. Therefore it is left to us in this generation to lay the ground work afresh with fresh zeal and purpose, so that our children and their children would benefit greatly from our sacrifices. I love people. Love them. Understanding that it is this gift of loving others that frees you up to attain self actualization, to reach fulfilment is power beyond measure. the Legacy is to ensure that every man woman and child can dream and realize that dream whilst they have breath in their lungs; life, liberty and the pursuit of epic-ness is our charge. Dare to dream and allow others to benefit from its goodness.

  19. What One book would you recommend for any Man?
    The Book of Proverbs

If you know a Man that is making a positive impact on the world, we would love to hear from you! Contact us at [email protected]

Man Of The Week – Chris Brandt

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Here at Man Of The Week, we strive to find the most awesome and inspiring men around who better the lives of the communities around North America. This week’s spotlight is no different! Chris Brandt believes it is every single person’s responsibility to positively impact the world around, and uses his life’s work at ‘Music Heals’ to teach others how music can promote and maintain mental, physical, emotional and spiritual health. In the years to come, Chris aims to grow Music Heals to a charity that contributes $1million/year to local music programs.

  1. Age: 43
  2. What do you do? (Work)
    Executive Director, Music Heals. Also, professor of Music Business at BCIT, and yoga teacher at YYoga and Contact Partner Yoga.
  3. Why do you do it?
    #MusicMakesMe 
    [youtube video=https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VeJzcEPZURw]
  4. How do you make a difference in the world? (Work, business, life, family, self)
    I teach, in all aspects of my day. When the student exceeds the teacher, the teacher becomes immortal.
  5. What are 3 defining moments in your life?
    1. The last day of every job I have ever worked.
    2. Starting a record label
    3. Crossing Tibet in a jeep
  6. What is your life purpose?
    To teach
  7. How did you tap into it?
    I have always known, although sometimes I have had poignant reminders.
  8. Who is your Role-Model or Mentor?
    Dalai Lama
  9. Do you have any daily habits? If so, what are they?
    Leave the office for coffee. Never make coffee at work. While it costs more, leaving your desk and going for a walk can completely reset your day.
  10. When do you know your work/life balance is off?
    My body knows. Hopefully I am listening before it has to yell.
  11. Vulnerability is a challenge for most men – share a vulnerable moment from your life with us.
    Being diagnosed with prostate cancer.
  12. What did you learn from it?
    That I signed up for it. This was my PhD course.
  13. If you are or were going to be a mentor for another man, what is one piece of advice you would give him?
    Do what you say you are going to do.
  14. How do you be the best partner (Boyfriend/Husband- past or present)
    Listen
  15. Do you support any Charities or Not-for-profits? (Which one(s) and why?)
    Music Heals, all day every day.
  16. If your life had a theme song, what would it be?
    “Life’s What You Make It” by Talk Talk
  17. Where do you see yourself in 3 years?
    Married with 1 kid (and maybe another on the way), traveling with my family and work, and Music Heals being a $1million/year charity.
  18. What legacy do you want to leave for future generations?
    It is not your opportunity, but your responsibility, to do big things that have a positive imact on the world.
  19. What One book would you recommend for any Man?
    The Alchemist

If you know a Man that is making a positive impact on the world, we would love to hear from you! Contact us at [email protected]

Man Of The Week – Aran Seaman

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This week’s Man Of The Week is someone who has had a positive impact and changed the lives of people all around the world. Aran Seaman lives a life true to his values, and through his work he has changed the lives of hundreds of thousands of children in Kenya by providing them access to clean water. His dedication to hard work and taking risks has allowed him to run a successful and sustainable business at Eartheasy.com

  1. Age: 30 
  2. What do you do? (Work)
    eartheasy.com – Retailer & distributor of products for sustainable living.
  3. Why do you do it?
    It allows me to align my values and skills to grow something that makes the world a better place.
  4. How do you make a difference in the world? (Work, business, life, family, self)
    As a company, we are making a difference by giving back through a variety of ways. For example, we have a One for One model built into one of our product lines, which provides a year of clean drinking water for a school child in Africa for every product sold. Last year this resulted in clean drinking water for 157,000 kids in rural Kenya. We also plant a tree for every order on eartheasy.com, and sponsor a variety of US & Canada based conservation and outreach organizations.

    Aran Seaman's Eartheasy provided clean water for 157,000 people in rural Kenya
    Last year, Aran Seaman’s Eartheasy.com provided clean water to 157,000 kids in rural Kenya

     

  5. What are 3 defining moments in your life?
    – Growing our company to the point where we were able to have our parents finally retire.
    – Demonstrating the LifeStraw products live on national TV in the US (and not screwing up!).
    – Seeing first hand the impact of our hard work, on the ground in Kenya, installing water purifiers in over 300 rural schools.
  6. What is your life purpose?
    Make the world a better place, through informative articles, guides and innovative products which improve people’s lives and reduce their impact on the planet.
  7. How did you tap into it?
    Using business as a means for good. Profit for a purpose. 
  8. Who is your Role-Model or Mentor?
    My parents are my role models. They are creative, hard-working, and incredibly kind, caring people. I will have succeeded at life if I’m like them when I retire.
  9. Do you have any daily habits? If so, what are they?
    I bike to work (this is a game changer) and exercise every day. I also drink 3-4 litres of water a day. I listen to audiobooks while biking to and from work – which allows me to keep up with reading.
  10. When do you know your work/life balance is off?
    If I stop exercising every day or my diet goes off track I know my work/life balance is off.
  11. Vulnerability is a challenge for most men – share a vulnerable moment from your life with us.
    There was a really hard time in our business where we lost half our revenue for 6 months. I sold everything I owned, including my rare (limited edition) sport bike, gear, & even clothes. We ate ramen noodles and did not pay ourselves until the business rebounded. It was a blow to the ego, but we got through it.
  12. What did you learn from it?
    You don’t need toys & shiny things to be happy. You need purpose. The obstacle is the way: if you have a worthy challenge in front of you, it’s more fulfilling and exciting than a performance race bike in your garage.
  13. If you are or were going to be a mentor for another man, what is one piece of advice you would give him?
    Step outside your comfort zone. Take risks. Work harder than the other guy. Cancel Netflix, stop drinking and bear down on something you are passionate about – relentlessly.
  14. How do you be the best partner? (Boyfriend/Husband- past or present) Quality over quantity. If you can only spend a day a week with your parter, make sure that’s the best damn day ever. Put the effort in to make it awesome. It can be as simple as a picnic at a park, or as lavish as a weekend away at a resort – but make it special. Put the effort in. They see what you put in to your career, and they deserve the same level of energy in their relationship with you.
  15. Do you support any Charities or Not-for-profits? (Which one(s) and why?)
    Annually we support over 30 non-profits in the US and Canada. If we can afford to give back, we will as much as possible.
  16. If your life had a theme song, what would it be? Tough question.. “Outro” by M83 or “No Way” by the Naked & Famous.
  17. Where do you see yourself in 3 years?
    I see our company 3X in size, and impact.
  18. What legacy do you want to leave for future generations?
    I want people to be inspired, and make a positive impact in the world. I want to somehow enable that.
  19. What One book would you recommend for any Man?
    “Tales of Endurance” by Fergus Fleming. If you have anything you think is a challenge in life, reading what others have overcome throughout history will make it pale in comparison. I know my limits are way higher than I originally thought after reading this book.

Please leave a comment, we would love to hear your thoughts!
If you know a Man that is making a positive impact on the world, we would love to hear from you! Contact us at [email protected]

Recapping An Incredible Night! – ManTalks Pursuit Of Purpose

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Well, we did it again…another epic, inspiring and sold out ManTalks Monday at our new event space at HOOTSUITE HQ!
First off BIG thanks and appreciation to the team at Hootsuite, who opened up their space, helped us set up/take down and stayed off the clock to help make this all happen for our community!
If you missed the evening, read on for a quick recap of the night and if you were there, we’ve highlighted our favourite moments and would love to hear yours.
Connor BeatonManTalks Pursuit Of Purpose kicked off with a wonderful introduction by our founder Connor Beaton.
This month we brought three local speakers to our stage to share their pursuit and journey of discovering and living their purpose.
It was a night filled with expansion, insight and major inspiration from each speaker and a brilliant vibrancy from the community who attended.
 
 
 
 
Mike MuscariThe first speaker to take our stage on Monday was Mike Muscari.
Our four biggest takeaways from Mike:

  • Without purpose life tends to lack significant meaning.
  • Purpose is something bigger than you that you may or may not accomplish in your lifetime but gets you up and out of bed and causes you to develop a strong willingness to show up for life to the best of your abilities every day.
  • The discovery of purpose is a process of trying-doing-retrying.
  • There are days along the journey that aren’t always easy and every day we have the free will to choose to live in accordance with our purpose or not. Some days we will choose not to live in alignment with our purpose, and that is ok because inevitably the inner compass called purpose will eventually steer us back on course.

 
Darren JacklinOur second speaker was Darren Jacklin
Our four biggest takeaways from Darren:

  • A key to connecting to your purpose and living on purpose is connecting with the right people who are willing to give you an honest perspective and inspect your life to help you see what is in the way of your potential and purpose emerging.
  • Don’t get stuck in analysis paralysis (aka overthinking things and never taking action). Instead take one small action step to get the momentum in motion again.
  • Nothing is ever in your way it is only on your way.
  • There will be days where you don’t know what to do, days that are hard. It is when you have attracted a new problem you are in the process of levelling up. In attracting a bigger problem, you must expand yourself to come up with a new idea for how to figure it out. In facing these challenges, you are forced to step out of what is familiar and out of your comfort zone into the world of the unknown where all things become possible.

 
Brock TullyOur third speaker of the night was Brock Tully.
Our four biggest takeaways from Brock:

  • Changing our thinking is our access to experiencing the only true goal- being happy, for it is the simplest things that bring us the most joy and fulfillment.
  • It is only when we aren’t happy with ourselves do we put others down, and when we are unhappy with ourselves, we have another option available to us. Instead of picking on others or putting them down we can grow ourselves, we can get in touch with our hearts, we can connect to what is the for the highest good of all involved and act from there.
  • Kindness begins with being kind towards ourselves, being of service to others and connected to the true gift of giving unconditionally.
  • “I would rather be seen for who I am and be alone than accepted for what I’m not and feel alone.” We don’t need to go out and find our purpose, it is something that is a part of us and who we have always been, we just need to remember who we are and be willing to remain connected to our hearts even in the toughest and darkest of times to access this purpose within.

 
Our final takeaway of the night was an invitation posed to the audience from our founder:

“Go out of your way to say hello to someone you don’t know tomorrow, you never know, you might change their life and your life will forever be changed because of it.”

We want to hear from YOU!
Share your insights, takeaways and breakthroughs with us! Using the hashtag #mantalks on all social media forums will help us find you and keep the inspired conversations going!
We are taking a break for the summer!! We’ll be back in action for August and until then we’ll keep you up to date with all things ManTalks in our weekly newsletter. Thank you for being a part of our growing and thriving community and we look forward to seeing all your familiar faces soon!
Team ManTalks

5 Epic Questions To Help You Find Your Life Purpose

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Imagine this, you’re 15, no clue what you want to do with your life, and probably not even thinking about it, when your best friend blurts out “I want to be a musician.” Just like that, he decided.
At the time when this happened, I didn’t give much thought to it. His parents didn’t seem to mind, they were supportive and seemed to think it would be a passing phase. Slowly though he built his life around music- lessons, small gigs, auditions, more lessons, failed auditions, successful contracts…. building his entire life around this primary focus while most people around him floundered to find direction.
Don’t get me wrong, most people don’t just tap into their life’s work at 15. He was definitely unique.

The Pursuit Of Purpose

 
Most of us have no clue what we want to do in our teens or 20’s and find ourselves trying different things in an effort to figure out what we are good at, enjoy and can succeed at. The funny thing is that most people go after what they think they are good at and not necessarily what they want.
Even after making good money between 18-24, I changed careers and pursued a passion-based career, it wasn’t until I was almost 30 that I clearly defined what I wanted for my life.
Chances are you’re more like I was and have no clue about what you want to do, or you have an idea, but it seems blurry. It’s a struggle that almost every adult goes through. You find yourself asking questions like:
“What am I really good at?”
“What am I passionate about?”
“What could I do to be fulfilled?”
I get emails all the time from men and women who are searching for a deeper sense of purpose and want guidance. One of the biggest challenges facing people is their idea of “life purpose.” Most people define purpose by accomplishments or goals. People think “If I am achieving things, making money and more successful than others then I am accomplishing my purpose,” right? Not exactly.

What Purpose Is

 
So many people think that their career IS their purpose and get lost in the fact that their career is simply another accomplishment, title or piece of their identity. Purpose is separate from your career, it is separate from how much money you make, whether you climb Mt Everest or not and separate from how many businesses you own or run.
Other people think “Life Purpose” is some higher calling, some divine purpose which they need to seek and figure out and can only be told to us by some ethereal being, or by holding a crystal while dancing naked in the forest high on D.M.T (although that could be a blast). While our purpose may be a form of higher calling, and I’m not here to discuss religious beliefs, few people today find their life purpose by going on a pilgrimage.
Here is our reality: life is finite, not infinite. We have a certain amount of time here which is completely undetermined to us. No one knows for certain how much time we have or what we are ultimately supposed to do with it. It’s like being given the world’s best and most intricate game without instructions. This does make it challenging to know where to begin, how long you have or who you should invest your limited time and energy with.
When people ask “What should I do with my life?” or “What is my life’s purpose?” what they’re actually asking is “What can I do with my life that will be important?… What can I do with my life that will make a difference?”
This is a much better place to start, as it points to a way of being rather than what you are doing. So many people feel like they are not living their lives’ purpose because what they are doing with their life doesn’t match who they want to be as a person.
I’ve worked with men for years now and one of the most common questions I get is “What should I do with my life? How do I leave a legacy? How can I find my life’s purpose?” These are impossible questions for me or anyone else to answer for you, they are questions that you must come to answer, by you, for you.
After working with hundreds of people, doing research and asking people who are living their purpose, I created these 5 questions for you to tap into what you are meant to do. I might not be able to give you the answer, but I can certainly ask the right questions to help you find the answer.

5 Epic Questions To Help You Find Your Life Purpose

 
1. What Problem would you give anything to solve?
One of my favourite sayings is “If you want to make a billion dollars, solve a problem for a billion people.” I’m talking about real problems, not the kind that help people be more complacent, like an ingenious way to turn on your tv just by saying “Turn on TV” or a self-cleaning toothbrush. I mean real issues like how to cure a disease, fix modern day education, help inner city kids get a head start in life, how to educate third world children, feed the 7.5 billion people that live on this little blue marble… you know, the easy problems.
 
2. What is true about you today that would make your ten-year-old self cry?
This may sound like a strange question but as kids we were all dialed into our hearts. We knew what we loved and for the most part, we didn’t care what people thought about it. We would openly express what we wanted to do no matter how absurd or outlandish it may have seemed. This question will point you to passion. It will help remind you of something that you may have forgotten about.
 
3. What makes you forget to eat, sleep, poop and have sex? (Maybe not the last two)
What drives you? What would you give up your ‘days off’ to do?
We have all had those moments of complete flow where we feel like we could keep doing what we are doing for hours, days, weeks and months. This is essential. If you can’t stand what you are doing, you’re probably not doing the right thing.
 
4. What is the cost of living this purpose? Are you willing to pay it?
Purpose stopper 101- maybe you have a purpose, a way of being that calls you to play bigger, be better and give more to the people around you, but you’re not willing to pay the toll. For some, who we want to be and what we are willing to do are very different things. Everything has a cost, in this case, there is likely something you will have to give up to gain full access to your purpose.
For example, a high performing CEO whose purpose is to dramatically improve community access to clean water or resources, is likely going to have to give up all the limiting thoughts that may get in the way of his potential rising and purpose activating. He may also have to give up the ways in which he maybe wasted time in the past- trading partying for high quality sleep to be at his best, trading drinking beer and eating crap for early morning workouts and clean foods to keep his mind sharp and body agile.
Most people don’t even think about this, they simply think “Well, when I tap into my purpose then I’ll be able to to do x,y & z AND keep doing the things I’ve always done.” The problem here is that some people have limiting beliefs and behaviours that impact their ability to truly live their life purpose. Letting go of these is the cost one must be willing to pay to level up and live their greatness.
 
5. You have one year to live from today, what would you do and how would you want to be remembered?
Write. It. Down.
Share it with someone you love and trust.
Imagine that you spent one year being the person you dreamed of, just one year. In the grand scheme of things that’s not very long. What would it take? What values would you want to live? What beliefs would stand in your way? What would you want to do? What would your obituary say? What would people say about you and who you were?
Oh, and if you are writing a bunch of crap that sounds cool just to impress a bunch of people, you’re probably not moving in the right direction. Take two steps back, connect to your ten-year-old self and remember what problem YOU want to solve.

It is at the intersection of being and doing that we find purpose. – Tweet this.

 
Uncovering one’s purpose in life is so much more than what you will ‘DO’ in this world. It is about who you will be, what you are committed to giving back to, who you will help and who you will be of service to. It is about getting off the couch and making a difference in other people’s lives and being a part of something bigger than yourself.
So be brave. Answer the questions and take some action.
Start being the Man the world needs.
If you are looking to expand your potential and are looking for the community to help make it all happen, join us for ManTalks Monday: In Pursuit Of Purpose on May 25th 2015. More event details can be found HERE
Connor BeatonConnor Beaton is the founder of ManTalks. He has learned so much about himself because of the incredible Leaders and Mentors who have been a part of his life.
A true believer in the power of reciprocity and that what you give to others you will get in return. Connor believes he is here to be of service to others, to contribute, in some way, to your life.

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