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Man Of The Week – Connor Driscoll

Connor Driscoll was introduced to us through a previous Man Of The Week and boy are we thrilled with that connection! While his life’s purpose may not be something he has identified or learned yet, Connor is an admirable young man whose values and work serve as a reminder for all of us to continue positively impacting those around us. Connor has done this for the last seven years where he began teaching in an elementary school, and today serves as the principal. Like many before him, Connor sees education as a means of preparing children for their future, with some of the tools needed to handle life, and the medium for which we leave the world in a better place. His reward is the simplest and purest of things: the joy kids can bring. Many of us often get stuck in the rat race that is our professional career; however, Connor’s life experiences have taught him an invaluable lesson that the real joy in life is not in the outcome, but the journey itself. Investing time and efforts with the right intentions in meaningful areas of our lives has a bigger impact on us and those around us, but this must be done with the support of your loved ones. Read on to learn more about Connor’s journey and how an incredible moment of vulnerability allowed him to realize that his wife is the rock of his life.

Age – 30

What do you do? (Work)
I am in my first year as an elementary school principal. I’ve worked as a teacher for the past seven years, and had bouts as a climbing and mountaineering guide on the east and west coasts. I’m also a fledgling author of fiction for middle-grade readers. I’ve finished one book and am working with a fantastic agent to find the right home for it. So far it’s not profitable work, but I enjoy it and work hard at it, so it counts.

Why do you do it?
Let’s see. I work in education because I believe wholeheartedly in the mission of public education and that every child deserves access to a future that only education can provide. Also, I really enjoy the work. I think with any job, it’s important to enjoy what you do, but that’s particularly true in education because the joy kids bring is the biggest reward in the job. If you don’t enjoy it, you’re sunk and the ones who lose out most are the kids. Don’t get me wrong, the work is really hard (as any educator who does a good job will tell you) but the fact that it is so hard and so important makes it worth it. I mean, in what other profession do you literally get to prepare the next generation for what life has in store- or at least what we predict life will be like when they’re adults?
I worked as a mountaineering and climbing guide because I love climbing and the mountains, and I wanted to share passion with others. I still love climbing and the mountains, and will share those experiences with anyone I can, but I had to choose and I chose public education. I don’t regret it.
I write because I enjoy it. That’s it. I could always get lost reading fiction, and I’ve found that I can do the same when writing it.

How do you make a difference in the world? (Work, business, life, family, self)
I think that’s the whole point of education. It may not be a difference that’s felt all at once, or one that the students even notice is being made at the time, but most adults can look back and identify at least one teacher that really made a difference in his or her life. Helping kids learn and helping them mature and cope with life’s many curveballs makes a difference to them, and who knows how that will impact the world down the line.

What are 3 defining moments in your life?
– Meeting, then marrying my wife. She’s absolutely amazing.
– Growing up and working on a party fishing boat with my dad. He was the captain and I was the mate. It was a really special time, and I got to hear my dad tell a lot of stories. Maybe that’s why I like to write them.
– Any of about a million memories of spending time with my family. I can’t pick one, but they’re really important to me and always have been.

What is your life purpose?
I haven’t figured that one out just yet, and I’m not sure I ever will. I think that maybe that’s a purpose in and of itself- the journey. I think it’s about the process, not the ends.

How did you tap into it?
I try to enjoy experiences as much as I possibly can and be the best person I know how.

Who is your Role-Model or Mentor?
My father. He’s always been someone I looked up to.

Do you have any daily habits? If so, what are they?
I like to try and do something physical, whether it’s running or hiking or climbing or taking the dog for a romp in the woods. If I go to many days in a row without doing that, I start to get antsy. My wife thinks I’m like a dog that way, and she usually notices before I do if I’m off. I think she’s worried I’ll start chewing the furniture. I also spend as much time with her as I can- dinner if we’re both home or some couch time if it’s later.

When do you know your work/life balance is off?
I can feel it. The other day I was at a meeting, and we were talking about the work/life balance and someone slipped and said the work/work balance. I think that’s a sign.

Vulnerability is a challenge for most men – share a vulnerable moment from your life with us.
This one’s tough. I lost one of my best friends to suicide several years back. It was incredibly hard. He was an exchange student that lived with my family in high school. In college, I did an exchange and lived close to him for a while, too. We spent a lot of time in the mountains of Germany in Austria together, and we were very close. Because we lived in different countries at the time of his death, and his friend from Germany was informing people and didn’t have my number or email, I found out through a Facebook message from someone I didn’t know, so I didn’t believe it. I was living at my parents’ house at the time, and they were on vacation. My wife (then fiance) was living with her parents across the state, so I was alone for that night. The next morning, I couldn’t take being by myself so I went to work where I was teaching in Boston. I stuffed my car into a snowbank on the way in because I wasn’t paying attention and hit some ice. That night, I drove out to be with my wife because we were doing a pre-wedding thing with the church. Once I got there I just lost it. I cried harder than I ever had, and it hurt worse than anything I’d ever endured. Not just emotionally, but it physically hurt. Bad. The whole time I was convulsing in sobs, my wife just held me. I can still feel how tightly her arms wrapped around me from behind (I was little spoon that night) and I knew that I could get through it because I had her.

What did you learn from it?
I learned that despite any evidence to the contrary, my wife is my rock. She may dispute that, but she’s proved it time and time again.

If you are or were going to be a mentor for another man, what is one piece of advice you would give him?
Get a dog. Dogs are awesome and they make you a better person.

How do you be the best partner (Boyfriend/Husband- past or present)
We try to support each other in whatever we do. We make time for each other. We talk and we laugh, a lot.

Do you support any Charities or Not-for-profits? (Which one(s) and why?)
My wife has a connection to an orphanage in Tanzania, and we’ve paid school fees for a student there as she’s gone to secondary school. I say “we” there, but really it’s her doing that. We also both work in education and give freely of our time and treasure to that cause.

If your life had a theme song, what would it be?
I was trying to think of a serious one for this, and it just wouldn’t work. I keep coming back to “Call me Maybe.” I’m really not sure why.

Where do you see yourself in 3 years?
Right where I am now. I’m really happy with what’s going on at the moment, and have no desire to change it. I feel like sometimes people get so caught up with ambition that they forget what it’s like to be content.

What legacy do you want to leave for future generations?
I’d like for students I’ve served to be able to look back fondly on the time they had, and for them to be better human beings for having spent time in a place where I worked. I’d also like the world to be better and more understanding for my kids.

What One book would you recommend for any Man?
Anything by Roald Dahl or Shel Silverstein. Really, a lot of books for kids. I think there’s a lot that adults can learn from them, and maybe a lot that they have learned, or have forgotten over the years. It’s important to be reminded of what makes us human and I think that books targeted to kids do a really good job of that.

Man Of The Week – Tim Collins

Here at ManTalks’ Man Of The Week, we love hearing stories from people who have overcome severe challenges in their life and persevered. There is something beautiful in being able to power through an uncomfortable feeling or emotion and then helping others around you conquer their own fears. This week we get to highlight an incredible Man, Tim Collins, who suffered from severe and crippling anxiety that it prevented him from being functional in a day-to-day manner. Familiar examples are when Tim went for a job interview and soaked through his entire shirt or when Tim had to present in front of senior directors in the company and suddenly felt like he was unable to breathe. After some deep thought and consideration, Tim decided his lifestyle strategy of resisting and suppressing his anxiety wasn’t working, and if he was ever going to overcome it, he had to be vulnerable and change the way he was living his life. Overcoming anxiety, he learned, is not a over-night fix but a project that requires constant work and support. Today Tim empowers others and teaches them ways to overcome their own challenges by three ways: through one on one coaching, through a podcast he founded called The Anxiety Podcast, and his blog. If you suffer from anything similar, Tim is definitely the man to whom you should reach out!

Age – 38

What do you do? (Work)
I Support People to Overcome Anxiety and Stress and Consider What is Possible in Their Lives.
I am the creator and host of “The Anxiety Podcast” and also a Stress & Anxiety Coach

Why do you do it?
After years of being on the business hamster wheel of life I was personally affected by Anxiety. It knocked me off the treadmill and as I dusted myself off I took the opportunity to make some changes in my life.
When trying to get help with my own mental health challenges I felt the traditional system didn’t support me well.  The doctor just wanted to prescribe me with medication, psychologist’s didn’t seem to get it.  I felt lost.
So I started making changes in my own life that moved me in the right direction.  After lots of trial and error I recovered and built a life for myself that I LOVE.
Now I see it as my mission to help others who are in the middle of their own personal battle. By believing in them when they don’t believe in themselves and showing them the way to no only deal with stress & anxiety but also to get aligned to what’s really going to create meaning in their life.  Hence my tag line Less Anxiety, More Life!

How do you make a difference in the world? (Work, business, life, family, self)
My work is really about allowing people to move through fear and then look at the possibilities.  Providing inspiration for people to change it what makes me jump out of bed in the morning.  Through the podcast and my work knowing that I support people has huge meaning for me.
In my family life I have 3 beautiful boys who now are able to look at me as someone who’s making a difference instead of my previous life which was all about making money at any cost.

What are 3 defining moments in your life?
– After starting to play hockey fairly late in life at the age of 13 I had a lot of catching up to do.  Growing up in England ice hockey is a minor sport to say the least but I totally fell in love with it.  When I was 19 I came over to Canada to try out for a Junior A team and much to my surprise I made it.  That proved a valuable lesson to me, which has served me well.  I can do anything that I put my mind to.
– Having a panic attack in front of a room of people was I feel the lowest point of my life. It made me question everything most significantly my confidence, ability to provide and sanity. It took a lot of courage and working on myself to come back from that and many changes in my life were made to accomplish that.  But in a weird twist of fate it’s what now gives me the most pleasure as I’m able to use that gift to help others recover and transform.
– Most recently sharing my struggle and receiving massive amounts of support and empathy has made my heart feel fuller than ever. The power I feel from being able to act in the face of fear and anxiety and continue to move forward is immense. My courage and confidence had to be rebuilt from the ground up but the foundation is now stronger than ever and that makes me feel extremely fortunate and grateful.  I’m able to be ok with vulnerability and failures and embrace them as part of the process.

What is your life purpose?
To serve as an example of what’s possible. The inspire people to change their lives to lean into fear and see what’s really possible for them.

How did you tap into it?
Ultimately by living it. My light was in my darkness.

Who is your Role-Model or Mentor?
Philip McKernan, a man who’s asked me questions that no one else ever has in pursuit of finding the truth.  His ability to see past all the bullshit is truly a gift.

Do you have any daily habits? If so, what are they?
I start my day with a cup of tea and end it the same way. I love to exercise so do something every day.

When do you know your work/life balance is off?
I really see my life and work are intertwined.  I believe part of what I do it live as close as I can to my truth.  Out of that comes lots of content that ends up being my work.  If I feel tired or not inspired I know it’s time to back off of computer time and reconnect with the world.

Vulnerability is a challenge for most men – share a vulnerable moment from your life with us.
When I announced to the world that I suffered from Anxiety and panic attacks. I was so embarrassed by what happened to me I really saw it as a huge weakness at the time so doing that felt like there was no turning back.
The interesting and wonderful part was the response. I was met with empathy, love, support and understanding. It also deepened many relationships where people were able to reciprocate and share parts of their lives that were difficult.

What did you learn from it?
Everybody struggles.

If you are or were going to be a mentor for another man, what is one piece of advice you would give him?
Make sure you put yourself first in your own life.  So often people are working hard and toiling for others to their own detriment.  Only after you be the best you can you be the best to anyone else.

How do you be the best partner (Boyfriend/Husband- past or present)
See above.  By being the best me. After that I make my wife a lot of perfectly brewed cups of tea and that keeps me in good favour.

Do you support any Charities or Not-for-profits? (Which one(s) and why?)
A charity in called “Covenant House”  their mission is to help homeless youth’s to have a room and some food and the skills to transition to a life away from the streets.

If your life had a theme song, what would it be?
Passenger – Scare Away The Dark

Where do you see yourself in 3 years?
In a position that everyone struggling with Anxiety or Stress knows that a different life exists for them.

What legacy do you want to leave for future generations?
A belief that we can lean into fear and embrace the challenges we face.  And that what you own owns you.

What One book would you recommend for any Man?
Anything you want – Derek Sivers

Man Of The Week – Anthony Demby

Jimi Hendrix once said “Music doesn’t lie. If there is something to be changed in this world, then it can only happen through music.” This was the sentiment of Anthony Demby, our Man Of The Week, when he took the courageous decision to resign from his job and follow his passions full time by creating Humbleriot, an audible shop that utilizes music and culture to tell stories. A determined entrepreneur and a devoted partner, Anthony believes in pursuing your dreams regardless of what obstacles life throws at you. Today music is a guide that helps channel many aspects of Anthony’s life, where he had the opportunity to create a retreat for DJs and music professionals can further collaborate to inspire and educate the youth. Check out Anthony’s wise words of advise on how we can better take care of those around us and how music can transform a persons reality.
Age – 41
What you do you do? (Work)
I am the founder of Humbleriot, a New York based audible idea shop that utilizes Music & Culture to tell stories.
Why do you do it?
I feel that everything has a very unique sound and vibration and I built a business around the exploration of that for brands, for For-Purpose companies, and unique spaces and communities.
How do you make a difference in the world? (Work, business, life, family, self)
I make a difference in the world by being authentic in everything I do. Being in that space allows me to be my best self and accountable for all of my movements and ironically my most creative.
What are 3 defining moments in your life?
– Hiking the Inca Trail to Machu Picchu in Peru and involuntarily meditating for the first time.
– Losing two very good friends of mine that passed at a very early age and understanding that death doesn’t end a relationship, it just changes the communication.
– Resigning from my former job to launch my own company Humbleriot and pursue my passions full time.
What is your life purpose?  
My life’s purpose is to help people discover, harness, and express the light inside of themselves and communicate it to the world. I also feel my purpose aligns with the power of music and exploring how it can make the lives of people better.
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I had the opportunity to curate and program a retreat for DJs and Music Producers called the Playlist Retreat with DJ Jazzy Jeff and Serato. It was a transformative experience for everyone involved that focused on inspiration, education, and collaboration
How did you tap into it?
It’s an inner knowing and as my spiritual path evolved, I have been gifted opportunities to give in that way. As far as Music, it’s is my first language and soulmate and has lead me to experience some of my highest truths so I continue to follow that calling.
Who is your Role-Model or Mentor?
There are people that I have a great deal of admiration for but I don’t have a specific role model. My role models are people who pursue their dreams no matter what obstacles they face and don’t give up even when the world tells them to. My mentors are my experiences and learning from them.
Do you have any daily habits? If so, what are they? 
My daily habits include meditating twice a day, running, and honestly, just being present.
When do you know your work/life balance is off?
I am all about balance and I can tell when mine is off when I’m reactive and when I’m in a hurry. The moment I start doing things with urgency is where I make mistakes and I have to stop and re-center.
Vulnerability is a challenge for most men – share a vulnerable moment from your life with us.
There was a time earlier in my spiritual path where I went to see a very powerful healer. He opened me up so much that I wasn’t prepared for the rabbit hole that openness sent me down and quite honestly, I was terrified. I remember sharing my fear with my friend Gabrielle Bernstein and she guided me in embracing it and accepting of what I was now aware of and it changed my life. I am forever grateful that she was able to navigate me through that.
What did you learn from it?
I learned that sometimes when you confront and face your fears, there is an immense about of learning that commences and it isn’t always as daunting as it seems to be.
If you are or were going to be a mentor for another man, what is one piece of advice you would give him?
As men we are taught to be caretakers and with that we often don’t take care of ourselves. I would tell him to make sure his vessel is full before looking after his world. I would also tell him to follow his heart no matter what the rest of the world tells him…and do it with integrity.
How do you be the best partner (Boyfriend/Husband- past or present)
This is something that I have learned a great deal about in the last two years. My partner Kristen and I were friends for 8 years before we evolved to more and that foundation of friendship has been the cornerstone of our relationship. It has taught me a deeper level of respect and awareness that what we share isn’t about me, it’s about WE and that lesson is invaluable and I have been able to experience love in a deeper way.
Do you support any Charities or Not-for-profits? (Which one(s) and why?)
Extreme poverty is something I am very passionate about and I really believe in the work that The Robin Hood Foundation is doing. I really dig their intention and approach and they are truly invested in creating sustainable solutions to change people’s reality.
If your life had a theme song, what would it be?
Tom Misch – “You Got Me Flying”
The “she” he mentions in the song is in reference to my life.
Where do you see yourself in 3 years?
Not to be esoteric, but I believe in the power of the present moment so In three years I see myself being right where I am supposed to be and I’m excited for that.
What legacy do you want to leave for future generations?
That’s simple. The knowledge that anything is possible and only seemingly impossible because it hasn’t been done yet. Tremendous creativity has no predecessor.
What One book would you recommend for any Man?
Way Of a The Spiritual Man by David Deida
IMG_1037image1If you know a Man that is making a positive impact on the world, we would love to hear from you! Contact us at [email protected]

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