Sex & Intimacy

Frans de Waal – Defining Gender Through The Eyes Of A Primatologist

Talking points: gender, gender equality, alpha males, alpha females, violence, culture, psychology

I’ve been following Frans’ work for a while, and have admired how dedicated he is to his work and to uncovering the complexity of primates. This was such an enjoyable and fascinating conversation!

This episode is a compelling look at just how complex and nuanced something like gender can be, from one of THE world’s top primatologists. With more and more pressure to outsource your opinions, your arguments, and your beliefs to the fastest talking pundit, it’s more important than ever to take a step back, breathe, and check the science.

Dr. Frans B. M. de Waal is a Dutch/American biologist and primatologist known for his work on the behavior and social intelligence of primates. His first book, Chimpanzee Politics (1982) compared the schmoozing and scheming of chimpanzees involved in power struggles with that of human politicians. Ever since, de Waal has drawn parallels between primate and human behavior, from peacemaking and morality to culture. His scientific work has been published in hundreds of technical articles in journals such as Science, Nature, Scientific American, and outlets specialized in animal behavior. His popular books — translated into twenty languages — have made him one of the world’s most visible primatologists. His latest books are The Age of Empathy (2009), and The Bonobo and the Atheist (2013). Two recent edited volumes are The Primate Mind (2012) and Evolved Morality (2014).

De Waal is C. H. Candler Professor in the Psychology Department of Emory University and Director of the Living Links Center at the Yerkes National Primate Research Center, in Atlanta, Georgia. Since 2013, he is a Distinguished Professor (Universiteitshoogleraar) at Utrecht University. He has been elected to the (US) National Academy of Sciences, the American Academy of Arts and Sciences, and the Royal Dutch Academy of Sciences. In 2007, he was selected by Time as one of The Worlds’ 100 Most Influential People Today, and in 2011 by Discover as among 47 (all time) Great Minds of Science. Being editor-in-chief of the journal Behaviour, de Waal has stepped in the footsteps of Niko Tinbergen, one of the founders of ethology.

His latest research concerns empathy and cooperation, inequity aversion and social cognition in chimpanzees, bonobos, and other species. He and his students have pioneered studies on how behavior is culturally transmitted in the primates, whether elephants recognize themselves in mirrors, how primates react to unequal reward divisions, how well primates spontaneously cooperate, and whether bonobo orphans are as emotionally affected by their trauma as human orphans.

 

00:02:22 What is a primatologist, and how Frans’ early work surprised everyone, including himself 

00:08:58 Why research gender in primates?

00:012:23 You can’t draw lines on gender, the biology of sex and gender differences, and examples in other animals

00:19:39 Why do we want to see ourselves in primate culture?

00:24:25 Female sexuality has been historically downplayed 

00:31:40 Do you feel your work on primates gets politicized?

00:38:16 Are males naturally more dominant, and what is an alpha male really?

00:46:23 Is there a time and place for physical dominance, and the effect of older males on younger males

00:52:51 Are males more hierarchical than females in primate culture?

01:02:56 The misconceptions around violence in primates

01:06:49 Will learning more about biology lead to gender equality?

01:12:54 Final thoughts; we should look at gender as a complex story

Connect with Frans:

-Book: Different: Gender Through The Eyes Of A Primatologist: https://amzn.to/3K4MvLA
-TED Talk: Moral Behavior In Animals: https://www.ted.com/talks/frans_de_waal_moral_behavior_in_animals

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Should You Masturbate While In A Relationship?

Title says it all, folks. I get asked this question a lot. Like…a lot, a lot. But the answer isn’t as simple as yes or no, obviously. It’s a little more subtle, and requires asking a few deeper questions.


Pre-order my upcoming book! Men’s Work: A Practical Guide To Face Your Darkness, End Self-Sabotage, And Find Freedom: https://mantalks.com/mens-work-book/

Did you enjoy the podcast? If so, please leave us a review on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, or Podchaser. It helps us get into the ears of new listeners, expand the ManTalks Community, and help others find the self-leadership they’re looking for.

Are you looking to find purpose, navigate transition, or fix your relationships, all with a powerful group of men from around the world? Check out The Alliance and join me today. 

Check out our Facebook Page or the Men’s community.

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Can A Relationship Be Repaired After Infidelity?

My opinion is yes, but it’s NOT easy. Most (if not all) of us will experience some form of infidelity or betrayal over the course of our relationship history. Shouldn’t we pay more attention to even the possibility of repair, as well as learn ways of repairing effectively?

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

What Every Man Should Know About Sex

Specifically, about how his nervous system handles sex.

Continuing on the theme this week—first Dr. Laurie Watson and now my own work. I’ve asked this question at men’s weekends, in coachings, and the answer almost always surprises me. A lot of men know the very, very basics of arousal in their own bodies, but that’s…it. Let’s change that.


Did you enjoy the podcast? If so, please leave us a review on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, or Podchaser. It helps us get into the ears of new listeners, expand the ManTalks Community, and help others find the self-leadership they’re looking for.

Are you looking to find purpose, navigate transition, or fix your relationships, all with a powerful group of men from around the world? Check out The Alliance and join me today. 

Check out our Facebook Page or the Men’s community.

Subscribe on Apple Podcasts | Google Podcasts  | Spotify

For more episodes visit us at ManTalks.com | Facebook | Instagram | Twitter 

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Dr. Laurie Watson – How To Ask For Sex, Sexless Marriages, And How To Keep Things Vibrant

Sex is where so many couples’ abilities to communicate, be vulnerable, be expressive, and navigate each other’s needs gets tested. Now, this can be a great thing—it can also be where things fall apart.

This week, I sat down with Dr. Laurie Watson to get her insight on some of the bigger challenges men and couples face sexually: sexless marriages, expressing your desires effectively, and the straight-up differences in how men and women approach sex. This was a thoroughly enjoyable conversation, so if you’re with a partner, I hope you listen together and maybe open up some dialogue!

Laurie Watson, Ph.D., MA, LMFT, LCMHC, Director of Awakenings, certified sex therapist, certified EFT therapist, certified addictions specialist from IICS, has thirty years of experience working with couples and individuals about love and sex. Laurie says, “I’ve never seen a couple who I didn’t feel hope for about their healing and happiness.”

Laurie is the host of the popular podcast, FOREPLAY RADIO, ranked in the top 10 on iTunes under Sexuality. Laurie authored her first book Wanting Sex Again—How to Rediscover Desire and Heal a Sexless Marriage in December 2012. 

She’s a popular blogger, with over 15 million reads between her WebMD blog and Psychology Today Online. Laurie also lectures physician residents, PAs, and PTs at Duke’s and UNC Chapel Hill’s medical schools on sexual function and dysfunction. 

She has been published or quoted in almost every nationally popular media resource including the New York Times, Buzzfeed, HuffPo, WebMD, Glamour, Women’s Health, Men’s Health, Cosmopolitan, etc. A popular media figure, she has appeared on the Katie Couric Show and  Vogue Weddings and is regularly on radio and television in Raleigh and Greensboro.

Director/owner of Awakenings, Counseling for Couples and Sexuality, Laurie supervises 11 clinicians in both Raleigh and Greensboro. 

Connect with Laurie

-Website: https://lauriewatson.com/

-Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/LaurieWatson.CouplesTherapy/

-Podcast: Foreplay Radio: https://www.foreplayrst.com/


Did you enjoy the podcast? If so, please leave us a review on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, or Podchaser. It helps us get into the ears of new listeners, expand the ManTalks Community, and help others find the self-leadership they’re looking for.

Are you looking to find purpose, navigate transition, or fix your relationships, all with a powerful group of men from around the world? Check out The Alliance and join me today. 

Check out our Facebook Page or the Men’s community.

Subscribe on Apple Podcasts | Google Podcasts  | Spotify

For more episodes visit us at ManTalks.com | Facebook | Instagram | Twitter   

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Sexless Marriages, Divorce, And The Insanity Of Modern Relationships

It’s a jungle out there. No, seriously. It doesn’t take a lot of googling to discover that the modern dating and relationship scene is hard. On everyone. 

So we’re going to dig into some of stats, research, and things I’ve been hearing directly from men about what they’re experiencing, what they’re seeing, and why things don’t look too good right now. We’ll also have a few ways you can “safeguard” yourself against the murky waters of modern dating.


Did you enjoy the podcast? If so, please leave us a review on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, or Podchaser. It helps us get into the ears of new listeners, expand the ManTalks Community, and help others find the self-leadership they’re looking for.

Are you looking to find purpose, navigate transition, or fix your relationships, all with a powerful group of men from around the world? Check out The Alliance and join me today. 

Check out our Facebook Page or the Men’s community.

Subscribe on Apple Podcasts | Google Podcasts  | Spotify

For more episodes visit us at ManTalks.com | Facebook | Instagram | Twitter   

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The Key To Navigating Crisis

Understatement of the decade: there’s a lot going on. I wanted to dig a little into how a man can navigate crisis, and one of the most important components to this: community.

The simple reality is this: if you as an individual aren’t meant to process the events in your own community by yourself, there’s no possible way you can process everything on earth by yourself. We’re built to thrive in a shared network of understanding so that navigating a crisis doesn’t crush YOU, it strengthens US.


Did you enjoy the podcast? If so, please leave us a review on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, or Podchaser. It helps us get into the ears of new listeners, expand the ManTalks Community, and help others find the self-leadership they’re looking for.

Are you looking to find purpose, navigate transition, or fix your relationships, all with a powerful group of men from around the world? Check out The Alliance and join me today.

Check out our Facebook Page or the Men’s community.

Subscribe on Apple Podcasts | Google Podcasts  | Spotify

For more episodes visit us at ManTalks.com | Facebook | Instagram | Twitter

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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