Archives for March 2016

Geeks who play lots of games are the richest, sexiest people on the planet.  The internet doesn’t lie, after all…
But maybe you didn’t just fall off the turnip truck, and you don’t believe me.
As it turns out, you don’t need to be a geek to play games.  For the past 6 years, the board game industry has grown between 15-40%.  That’s huge growth, and it’s not just basement-dwelling teenagers.

Still, why should you play board games?  In fact, why should you play anything at all?
In this article, I’ll show you exactly why you should jump on the board game bandwagon. I’ll also show you how play makes you smarter, more successful, and more sexually appealing.

One Day on a Mountain in Thailand

A few weeks ago, I spent a day on a mountain in Thailand.
It was National Children’s Day (the best holiday ever). The purpose is for children to have fun and to emphasize their importance for the country. Amazing, right?
Some friends and I visited a celebration that a local hill tribe was holding.  We donated a bunch of toys, food, clothes, and school supplies, and we had a blast.
But the most interesting part of the experience was the games that the locals played. In particular, many locals would stand across from each other and throw a small ball back and forth.
That’s it.  That’s all there was to that particular game.
And this game wasn’t something they played just on Children’s Day. This is one of many games that they play all the time.
It sounds silly and simple, but that’s the point. Play is a simple but integral part of the day-to-day life of this village. And I assure you that they were having at least as much fun as I was.
(To answer the obvious question: yes, I jumped in and played as well.)
That day was yet another reminder that play still isn’t as big a part of my life as I would like. And whether you believe it or not, that’s a big problem…

Not Playing is a Terrible, Tragic, Horrific Fate…

You know that you miss playing.
I talk to a lot of people about this. And when I bring up the topic of play, almost everybody starts remembering times they used to play as a kid. Maybe it was a sport, a game, or just make-believe.
But this is about more than just longing for some part of your childhood.
Over the past 50 years in the US, “play time” has decreased by huge amounts. Some studies estimate that play time for both kids and adults has decreased by up to 71%.
And here’s the thing…
Not playing enough (even as an adult) can be enormously detrimental for every aspect of your life.
The problem is that you view play as yet another thing you should be doing.  You already meditate, workout, and drink your greens every day. So who am I to tell you to do more?
Fine…don’t listen to me.  Keep working more and playing less.  Lots of people don’t play.
In fact, 90% of homicidal prison inmates that Stuart Brown studied had too little play in their lives.  I’m not suggesting that you’ll become a murderer if you don’t play enough.  But you’re not keeping the best company.
Play deprivation – particularly among children – has been linked to severe emotional dysregulation. That includes depression, diminished self-regulation, increased addiction, agressiveness, shallow relationships, and more.
In other words, play is far more important than you likely imagine. It’s a necessary form of stress relief.  And perhaps most importantly, play teaches you how to interact with an uncertain world.
Not getting enough play hurts your career/business, your relationships, and your emotional well-being. If you do get lots of play, though, it’s a different story…

Play is Amazing for Almost Every Area of Your Life

Here are just a few of the benefits that you get from playing:

• Play helps you train for unexpected situations. This is a huge benefit. Dealing well with uncertainty is critical for being a better entrepreneur, father, or person.  You’ll get less frazzled, less stressed, and will make better decisions.One study found that when rats play-fight, they often stand on top of one another.  In a real fight, that would be incredibly dumb, because it’s easier to get thrown off balance.  But in a play fight, it teaches them to deal better with unexpected situations.Dealing better with the unexpected also helps you develop presence and mindfulness. And from my perspective, there’s almost nothing more important.
• When you play as an adult, it helps calm social discord and reduce stress. In other words, you relieve your own stress while also improving relationships.  This applies to your family, your work environment, and anywhere else in your life.In fact, it also applies to strangers.  If you play with strangers, it’s a quick way to test out and establish social relationships. In other words, you get to know and bond with them more quickly.  Try it on your next date or business meeting.
• On a related note, play builds unity, friendship and related skills. This has been the case for humans for millions of years. Dominance and combat are one way for humans to interact.  The alternative is not peace, but rather play.
• Play will make you more successful. Several studies have found that play is crucial for sharpening the physical, cognitive, and emotional skills required for success in society.
• Play makes you more sexually attractive. This is particularly true for men. Many of the traits that women find most attractive are developed and displayed through play.  This includes having a good sense of humor, being fun-loving, and being non-threatening.
• Play helps you at work.  If you run a company or hire or manage employees, this is particulalry relevant.  Play has been shown to consistently lead to better attitudes and more persistance at work. Also, play almost always improves creativity.

That’s the short list. If you need more convincing, check out Stuart Brown or watch this TED Talk he gave back in 2008:
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So What is Play?  You Kind of Like Your Job, After All…

If you think that play could mean almost anything, then you’re right. Partially.
There are no bright lines about which activies are or are not play. But for something to be play, it does need to have certain characteristics:

1. Play Must Be Self-Chosen and Self-Directed.  This means that you don’t feel obligated to do it, and you can quit at any time.  So even if you enjoy your job, it probably doesn’t fit this definition.Even if you just feel like you should do something, it can stop being play. Maybe you used to love playing golf. But once you start feeling like you should play so you can network better, then it’s no longer play. Everything changes when you feel that obligation.
2. Play Must Be Intrinsically Motivated.  You’ve gotta value the means more than the ends.  Remember when you played pickup baseball as a kid?  It’s like that.  You wanted to win for sure, but not if it meant your friends would never play with you again.As an aside, this quality of play is what will help you develop more presence. It’s all about being in the moment rather than seeking out the reward.If you’ve ever had a hobby that you started getting paid for, then you know how rewards can ruin play. Once you start focusing on what you get out of an activity, it ceases to be play.For instance, I used to love playing poker.  But at some point, it became more about winning moeny for me than playing the game. I still enjoy playing once in a while, but it’s just not the same anymore.
3. Play Must Be Guided by Rules, but Must Leave Room for Creativity. In other words, sitting on your sofa watching TV is not play.  There are no rules to it.
4. Play Must Be Imaginative & Creative. The activity must be creative in some way or another.  To be fair, this couldapply to almost any activity, including filing your taxes.
5. You Must Be Be Alert and Active During Play, But Also Non-Stressed. This is another way that play helps to develop presence and mindfulness. Because you aren’t focused on a result or future goal, you are in the present moment.

Those are the five primary aspects of play, but it’s not something you need to remember at all. You know whether you’re playing or not.
If you’re doing something because you need to do it or because you should do it, then it’s not play. Likewise, if you feel like you can’t stop or like it’s not creative and fun, then it’s not play.
And all of that brings us to this…

Why Play Board Games?

Any type of play is great. So if board games are not be your thing, then find something else.
But give board games a chance. They offer unique advantages even over many other types of play.
And as I’ll explain below, the board games I’m talking about are not the games you played when you were a kid. These games are more strategic, more complex, and more fun.
Here are 6 big reasons board games are a great form of play:

1. Board Games are Live and In-Person. I can’t stress enough how important this is. Video games are great, and a lot more research is showing many benefits of video games.But you also need to be with other people.  Being in the presence of other people does two big things. First, it teaches you to live more present in the moment. Live humans force you to react to physical cues, conversations, and more. When you combine that with a competitive board game, it’s hard to be distant or aloof.Second, playing live board games sharpens your awareness and social skills. When you play games with other live people, you’ve got to assimilate and process a lot of data. That teaches you to be adaptable, resilient, and observant.
2. Board Games are Inexpensive and Easy to Learn. Some games are getting more expensive, but in general, they won’t break the bank.In addition, you can start playing at any age. This is different than many sports, which are often hard to compete in if you haven’t played from an early age.
3. Board Games are Strategic and Tactical. This is true of most games but not of all play. Reid Hoffman, the founder of LinkedIn, is a huge board game fan. He loves board games because he knows that they’ve helped him become a better strategist and tactician.  That, he argues, is a large part of his entrepreneurial success.
4. Board Games are Diverse and Varied. We live in a golden age of board games. What that means for you is that you can find dozens or hundreds of games that you will love.I’ll show you below how to get started, but rest assured that you won’t run out of options in the next 50 years.
5. Board Games are Generally Not Addictive. Even for someone who lovesboard games, it’s hard to get addicted. First, you always need other live players. That’s just not possible all the time. Also, there’s no video or graphic interface that deludes you with information. I’m not bashing video games – I’m a big fan. But it’s nice to not feel compelled to play.
6. Board Games are Much More Fun Than You Think. Most people think of Candyland, Risk, and Monopoly when they think of board games.  There’s nothing wrong with those games, but they’re not what I’m talking about.

Board games are over 5,000 years old, when humans first invented dice. And yet, in the past 50 years, more and better board games have been created than in the previous million years.
Here’s how to get started…

How to Get Started Playing More Board Games

How you get started will depend on your situation. For instance, it’s going to be super-easy as a student. If you work 90 hours a week, it will be a little tougher.
Regardless, here are my suggestions:

• Find a local gaming group. In every major and semi-major town, you’ll find a gaming group. Often, it’s easiest to find them on Meetup.com.Finding a gaming group is great because you know for sure that there are people who already want to play. More than that, they likely have games already and can teach you how to play.This is definitely the way to get started, and you’ll likely make new friends. If you don’t like the people, though, don’t give up on the games…
• Start with these games. If you browse BoardGameGeek.com, you’ll see reviews for thousands of games. I’ll list my favorites below, but they aren’t the ones you should start with.Especially if you don’t have someone teaching you, you should start with easy games.  My suggestion is to start with one of the following games.  They’re easy to learn and don’t take too much time.
  • Settlers of Catan.  (Or Startups of Silicon Valley if you happen to be in Silicon Valley.)
  • Carcassone.
  • Ticket to Ride Europe.
• Let Go. If you’ve made it this far, then you just read over 2,000 words on why play and board games are great.It’s all true, but I also encourage you to forget it when you start playing. Whether you’re playing board games or anything else, the point is still to play. Not to try to get something out of it. So, as cliche as it might sound, just have fun.One other point… You likely won’t fully understand most of these games on your first play. If you’re playing with experienced players, you almost certainly won’t win. It doesn’t matter. I’m as competitive as anyone I know, so I understand the compulsion. But this is a golden opportunity to acknowledge and then release that compulsion.

Whatever You Do, Don’t Stop Playing

Please, find ways to play almost every day. It will change your life. (If you have kids or pets, this should be extra-easy.) It takes a bit of commitment to letting go more often, but the rewards are immense.
If you do this, you’ll find that you have more enthusiasm and energy for everything else in your life. You’ll have more fun, but you’ll also be more productive and more successful.
There are plenty of times in my life when I don’t take my own advice. And I always find that I get tired and burnt out much more quickly. It’s a lesson that’s easy to forget and hard to explain.
If you’re ready to get started, play the games I suggested above. If, though, you’re ready to take it a bit further, here’s a list of my current favorite games:

• Puerto Rico
• 7 Wonders
• Star Wars: Imperial Assault
• Through the Ages
• Agricola

How About You?

Do you play enough? Let me know in the comments below what your favorite types of play are.  And if you’re a board game geek like me, what are your favorite games?
Jeremy Hendon has founded a few businesses, sold one of them, and calls himself an author and speaker. Mostly, he tries to help folks live a life they love. You can check him out at JeremyHendon.com, on Snapchat (@JMHendon), or on Twitter/Periscope (@JMHendon).
Like what you saw? Subscribe to the ManTalks podcast on iTunes or Stitcher, and join our private Facebook Community for conversations that matter. Facebook not your thing? Sign up to the ManTalks newsletter. Every week we’ll send you an email with the best articles and interviews we published that week.
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I once met a sailor, who seemed to have everything, yet in physical terms he owned all most nothing.
No house.
No car.
No basement full of shit he had forgotten about.
No rented storage units containing furniture he’d never use again.
No relationships with people who dragged him down or dumped their problems on him.
No jobs where he was responsible for showing up and building a career.
Just a simple sailboat.
He’d sail from Vancouver to Mexico, hang out for a bit, then head over to Hawaii. He’d work for a couple of weeks to save up enough to buy some more supplies, work on his boat and then he’d be off to the French Polynesian in the South Pacific.
He had a sense of calm about him. My favorite quote of his was, “I don’t make any plans, and I’m sticking to them.”
People often asked him about his life and seemed very envious of it. But he said when they realized he’d given up almost all material possessions, had no house, car, or vacation home, they knew it would just be a dream.
The societal pull is strong. We care so much what others think of us.
Probably my favorite all time quote:
“The things you own end up owning you. It’s only after you lose everything that you’re free to do anything.”
Isn’t it interesting then that most people act in completely the opposite way?
We don’t buy the house we need, we buy the house we can afford.
We chase the pay raises, promotions, and progression that take away our liberation. Each time those freshly printed business cards with a fancy new title roll off the printing press we feel great, but the reality is we just gave away a bit more of our soul.
Read Tim’s previous article on the ManTalks blog: “10 Simple Ways to Be More Selfish [And How it Helps You Avoid Anxiety 
There are ways to reverse this trend. Below I will share the five top ways to simplify.

How to Get More by Wanting and Having Less:

1: Rent, Don’t Own

Home ownership is a deeply rooted rite-of-passage in our society. Somehow it’s become the definition of ‘making it.’
While I do own real estate, I actually rent the house I live in.
This gives me way more flexibility in terms of where I want to live. People move house on average every 4-5 years anyway, so the concept of settling down is way overplayed.
It also means I don’t spend my weekends doing minor jobs around the house, living in home depot, or worrying about when I’ll have to replace the roof next.
I don’t think about putting in new kitchens, swimming pools, bathrooms, or wood floors.
I literally don’t care. Something breaks, I phone my landlord and he takes care of it. If I want to move, I could be gone in 30 days. The housing market won’t force me to stay.
A home is our biggest single investment, and it not only takes up the biggest chunk of our cash but also our time and mental space.
The result: I have more time, more money, and most importantly more mental peace.

2: Turn off the TV, Radio and Internet

According to various studies we are exposed to 5,000 + advertisements per day.
Wonder why you suddenly want something?
Why you NEED that new blender today?
Why you have to go and test drive a new car?
You deserve it right?
The advertisers have been working on you for a while, my friend. Subconsciously or consciously, it doesn’t really matter. But the fact is we are programmed to want to buy stuff.
You have the ability to control how many inbound messages you receive. Unless you become a recluse you probably can’t control them all, but you can make a dent.
Regular TV is a complete joke these days, with seemingly more ads than actual content. I simply have Netflix. It has no ads and great content. Next time you’re in the car practice NOT turning on the radio.
What’s that you hear? That’s silence. Weird right?
With more and more distractions in our world, cherish the moments when you have the ability to control the volume. Great ideas and thoughts won’t ever show up in your life it you’re constantly surrounded by the low level hum of busyness.

3 – Practice Negative Visualization

Hedonistic adaptation, also known as the hedonic treadmill, is the term used for what happens when we have extremely positive things happen in our lives, only for us to shortly thereafter settle back to our previous level of satisfaction.
An often cited example of this is past lottery winners, who rush out with their winnings to buy the Ferrari and mansion only to end up not only poorer than when they set out in the first place but also less satisfied. The same can happen with a relationship, a new house, a promotion at work.
Hedonistic adaption happens for a couple of reasons. First, say you get a new car. It’s fun to drive, faster than your old one and your friends are all impressed. After a while the car just becomes the norm for you and you get used to it.
The second potential effect is when, for instance, you get in shape, lose fat ,and build some muscle. Even if you are able to maintain this new shape you will adjust and get used to it and therefore it will become your new baseline.
You’ll be less impressed with yourself after a while.
The lesson here is to consider that whatever it is you want is unlikely to make you happy.
So, instead of working extra hard for the new swimming pool, just wait for a while and appreciate what you already have.
An alternative way to appreciate things: the Stoics recommended that we imagine losing things we value such as our job, house, and significant other.
They called it, “Negative Visualization.”
By using this technique we have the ability to truly appreciate what we have today with the understanding that it is only available to us temporarily and that nothing is guaranteed or forever.
The idea isn’t that you spend all day being negative but that you reflect a few times a day, allowing you to become more engaged in the present and grateful for what you already have.

4: Get Out of The Deferred Life Plan

The concept of getting in debt up to your eyeballs and then spending the best years of your life paying for that as you save for retirement is a terrible plan.
After reading the preceding points above this should come as a huge relief to you.  If you don’t need to buy all the things you know won’t actually bring you any happiness then you can avoid the trap of having to work 60 hour weeks for 40 or more years of your life.
You’re welcome.
I just saved you about 13 years of your life chasing the wrong goal.
When I left my job, I made many of these choices over time. I sold my primary residence, drastically downsized my living budget, and rented a cheaper place so that I just didn’t have to do jobs I didn’t want to do just to make money.
You have a choice: you can follow the conventional route of wanting a lot of stuff and buying a lot of stuff and therefore having to make a lot to pay for it. Or you can consciously design your life by not letting external desires get your attention.
Next time you want something, before you run out and buy it, consider that you may not actually need it, will likely have to work harder and longer to pay for it and if you do buy it at some point you won’t care about it anymore.
Read Tim’s previous article: 10 Simple Ways to Be More Selfish [And How it Helps You Avoid Anxiety] or listen to his interview on the ManTalks Podcast.
Tim JP Collins is The Breakthrough Anxiety Coach and supports people suffering with Anxiety, stress and panic attacks.  Tim’s approach isn’t just about coping, it’s about moving past Anxiety and fear to live the life you were destined for.
Tim worked in the corporate world as a Vice President of Sales for 15 years, so is well versed in the business space.  He ultimately decided that wasn’t for him and was drawn towards supporting others, to live anxiety and stress free while going big in their lives.
Tim has also spent time in Entrepreneurial and Real Estate fields, starting a business with his wife in 2007, in their spare time, which went on to be brand name in the infant market and was acquired in 2015.
Tim is the creator & host of “The Anxiety Podcast”​ Each week Tim interviews people that have stories that you will be able to relate to. The interviews are raw, real and vulnerable and people share what’s really going on for them.
Tim believes that the more out of alignment we are in our lives, the more Anxiety & Stress will show up.  So he really looks at the bigger picture when working with clients.
Connect with Tim on the Web, The Anxiety Podcast, Facebook, Twitter, YouTube, or Instagram
Or, if you’re feeling a little old fashion you can just email him: [email protected]
Like what you saw? Subscribe to the ManTalks podcast on iTunes or Stitcher, and join our private Facebook Community for conversations that matter. Facebook not your thing? Sign up to the ManTalks newsletter. Every week we’ll send you an email with the best articles and interviews we published that week.
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Episode: 033

If you’d like to be more fulfilled in your life, then take the time to reflect on what you’re grateful for.

 
Introduction:
UJ Ramdas is a passionate entrepreneur who incorporates practical psychology into easy-to-use products. He is the creator of The Five Minute Journal and The Productivity Planner. UJ explains why he and his team created The Five Minute Journal and The Productivity Planner and also shares why gratitude can make you a more successful person.
 

Listen to it on iTunes

Listen to it on Stitcher
 

 
Key Takeaways:
[2:00] What was UJ’s defining moment?
[3:45] What does UJ do?
[6:30] Why did UJ want to study behavioral science?
[9:30] You use business as a vehicle to help create a bigger impact in the world.
[10:10] UJ explains the difference between the conscious mind and the unconscious mind.
[13:55] Why would you want to use The Five Minute Journal?
[15:55] Why does The Five Minute Journal work?
[20:30] Why should you journal? Every journal has a purpose.
[23:55] What is the Productivity Planner about?
[29:45] What’s UJ most excited about in the upcoming months?
[31:30] So many people want to be productive, but they don’t know how to measure it.
[32:05] What legacy would UJ like to leave behind?
 

Music Credit:
J Parlange & Latenite Automatic (jesusparlange.com – lateniteautomatic.com)
 
Tweetables:
͆A business is a creative vehicle for the impact that you want to have in the world.”
͆A lot of the time, we bite off more than we can chew on a daily basis.”
͆Injecting more awareness into your daily task flow is going to help you.”
 

There is an old Zen story about a king whose people had grown soft and entitled. Dissatisfied with this state of affairs, he hoped to teach them a lesson. His plan was simple: He would place a large boulder in the middle of the main road, completely blocking entry into the city. He would then hide nearby and observe their reactions.

How would they respond? Would they band together to remove it? Or would they get discouraged, quit, and return home?

With growing disappointment, the king watched as subject after subject came to this impediment and turned away. Or, at best, tried halfheartedly before giving up. Many openly complained or cursed the king or fortune or bemoaned the inconvenience, but none managed to do anything about it.

After several days, a lone peasant came along on his way into town. He did not turn away. Instead he strained and strained, trying to push it out of the way. Then an idea came to him: He scrambled into the nearby woods to find something he could use for leverage. Finally, he returned with a large branch he had crafted into a lever and deployed it to dislodge the massive rock from the road.

Beneath the rock were a purse of gold coins and a note from the king, which said:

The obstacle in the path becomes the path. Never forget, within every obstacle is an opportunity to improve our condition.

What if you had the ability to flip your obstacles and turn them into opportunities?

Here are 10 historical strategies for doing just that—practiced by great men and women throughout the centuries.

STRATEGY 1: ALTER YOUR PERSPECTIVE

Man does not simply exist but always decides what his existence will be, what he will become the next moment. — Viktor Frankl

We chose how we look at things. How we approach an obstacle determines how daunting it will be to overcome.

By controlling our irrational emotions, we are able to see thing as they are, not as we perceive them to be.

Think of it as selective editing—not to deceive others, but to properly orient ourselves.

Where the head goes, the body follows. Perception precedes action. Right action follows the right perspective.

STRATEGY 2: FLIP THE OBSTACLE ON ITS HEAD

There is good in everything, if only we look for it.— Laura Ingalls Wilder

The events that we initially perceive as negative all contain a positive, exposed benefit that we can recognize and act on.

A computer glitch that destroys your work is now a means to make it twice as good because you’re better prepared.

Having a terrible boss is now an opportunity to learn from his faults while you fill up your resume and look for better jobs elsewhere.

Notice this is a complete mental flip: Seeing through the negative, past its underside and through to the positive.

STRATEGY 3: STAY MOVING, ALWAYS.

We must all either wear out or rust out, every one of us. My choice is to wear out. — Theodore Roosevelt

Those who attack problems and life with most initiative and energy usually win.

Courage is really just taking action. Start by saying yes to create momentum and you’ll be on your way.

Obstacles seem more intimidating when we stop to look up at them.

STRATEGY 4: FAIL CHEAPLY AND QUICKLY

What is defeat? Nothing but education; nothing but the first steps to something better. —Wendell Phillips

Engineers now like to quip: Failure is a Feature.

There’s nothing wrong with being wrong. Each time it happens, new options open up to us and problems can be flipped into opportunities.

When failure does come ask: Why did this happen? This helps birth alternative ways of doing what needs to be done. Failure puts you in corners you have to think your way out of and is a source of breakthroughs.

STRATEGY 5: FOLLOW THE PROCESS

Under the comb the tangle and the straight path are the same. — Heraclitus

In the chaos of life, process provides us a way.

For whatever obstacles you come across, take a breath, do the immediate, composite part in front of you—and follow its thread into the next action.

The process is about doing the little things, right now. Not worrying about what might happen later, or the results, or the whole picture.

STRATEGY 6: WHAT’S RIGHT IS WHAT WORKS

I don’t care if the cat is black or white, so long as it catches mice. — Deng Xiaoping

We spend a lot of time thinking about how things are supposed to be.

As they say in Brazilian jiu-jitsu, it doesn’t matter how you get our opponent to the ground, only that you take them down.

Start thinking like a radical pragmatist: not on changing the world right at this moment,but ambitious enough to get everything you need.

Think progress, not perfection.

STRATEGY 7: USE THE FLANK ATTACK

Where little danger is apprehended, the more the enemy will be unprepared and consequently there is the fairest prospect of success. — George Washington

Think about this: In a study of more than 280 military campaigns, only two percent were decided on a direct attack on the enemy’s main army.

Being overmatched don’t have to be a disadvantage. It forces us to find workarounds, instead of challenging our enemy head on.

Remember, sometimes the longest way around is the shortest way home.

STRATEGY 8: USE THE OBSTACLE AGAINST ITSELF

Wise men are able to make a fitting use even of their enemies. — Plutarch

Action has many definitions. Sometimes you overcome obstacles not by attacking them but by withdrawing and letting them attack you.

A castle can be an intimidating, impenetrable fortress, or it can be turned into a prison when surrounded. The difference is simply a shift in action and approach.

So instead of fighting obstacles, find a means of making them defeat themselves.

STRATEGY 9: SEIZE THE OFFENSIVE

The best men are not those who have waited for chances but who have taken them; besieged chance, conquered the change, and made chance the servitor. — E.H. Chapin

Ordinary people shy away from negative situations and avoid trouble. What great people do is the opposite.

They never waste an opportunity to flip a personal tragedy or crisis to their advantage.

At certain moments in our brief existences we are faced with great trials. We must see that this “problem” presents an opportunity for a solution that we have long been waiting for.

It is in these moments that we must seize the offensive, because it is when people least expect it that we can pull off our biggest victories.

STRATEGY 10: FOCUS ON SOMETHING BIGGER THAN YOURSELF

A man’s job is to make the world a better place to live in, so far as he is able—always remembering the results will be infinitesimal—and to attend to his own soul. — Leroy Percy

Sometimes when we are personally stuck with some impossible problem, one of the best ways to create opportunities or new avenues for movement is to think:

If I can’t solve this for myself, how can I at least make this better for other people?

You’ll be shocked by how much of the hopelessness lifts when we reach that conclusion—the strength that comes by thinking of people other than yourself.

The impediment to action advances action. What stands in the way becomes the way. — Marcus Aurelius

So when you’re frustrated in pursuit of your own goals, don’t sit there and complain that you don’t have what you want or that this obstacle won’t budge. If you haven’t even tried yet, then of course you will still be in the exact same place. You haven’t actually pursued anything.

All the greats we admire started by saying, Yes, let’s go. And they usually did it in less desirable circumstances than we’ll ever suffer.

Just because the conditions aren’t exactly to your liking, or you don’t feel ready yet, doesn’t mean you get a pass. If you want momentum, you’ll have to create it yourself, right now, by getting up and getting started.

The post appeared originally on the New York Observer.

Ryan Holiday is a strategist for bestselling authors and billion dollar brands like American Apparel, Tucker Max and Robert Greene. His work has been used as case studies by Twitter, YouTube and Google and has been written about in AdAge, the New York Times, Gawker and Fast Company.

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