Our newest Man Of The Week is Michael Miller! Michael is a man who thrives on tough decision-making. From leaving the corporate world as a chemical engineer, to enrolling in life coaching training when he only had $50 to his name, Michael has followed his intuition to channel his purpose and make the ‘right’ decisions. In the moment they looked daunting, however looking back his decisions were the right ones that he’s never turned back on. Today Michael is the Founder of Braveheart Men’s Movement, a Men’s Leadership & Life Coach. He specializes in creating the space for men to come together to heal, love and connect with one another, a space that leaves no room for hatred, violence and oppression of the self and women. Michael serves as a great reminder to many of us who are faced with challenging life decisions, when we make the ‘right’ decision that is in line with our purpose, life has a way of unfolding in a manner that serves us.
Age: 31
What do you do? (Work)
I’m a men’s leadership & life coach, founder of the Braveheart Men’s Movement… and an artist. I believe every person has an art that they can master. For some it’s painting, for some selling, for some creating computer programs. For me, it’s transformational work. I combine coaching, spiritual teachings, play, art, and human connection to transform lives.
Why do you do it?
A different question that I believe is more fitting is “Why must you do it?” Why must Picasso paint or DaVinci invent? There’s nothing I’d rather do.
How do you make a difference in the world? (Work, business, life, family, self)
I support men from across the globe to come together at retreats to heal, love each other and connect to Spirit. To stop hatred, violence, self-oppression and stop oppressing women. To wake up and become full expressions of God. (whatever that means to them) I make a difference by having the courage to be my own full expression of self. This impacts all my relationships including the one with myself.
What are 3 defining moments in your life?
There have been many important decisions in my life but three stick out to me as shaping me into the man that I am today.
– Deciding to leave my chemical engineering degree and the corporate world behind to start my first company. It was a thrilling decision that I never turned back on.
– The day I decided to join the Accomplishment Coaching life coach training program. I had almost no idea what a life coach was and after joining I only had $50 left to my name. Deep down, I knew it was my calling and had to take the leap.
– The day I discovered my life purpose. It’s been a compass to direct me ever since.
What is your life purpose?
Spiritual connection. It is the north star that guides everything I have ever done or will ever do. We all have a star like this, our soul’s work. Once I became conscious of my purpose, it informed all my decisions and has lead me to success. I have never questioned my purpose since discovering it.
How did you tap into it?
There’s a short exercise that I went through, that I now take my clients through. It takes you out of your mind and beyond trying to fix anything with yourself and the world. You will never find your purpose in your mind but rather your heart and soul.
Who is your Role-Model or Mentor?
I have a couple mentors that have had a massive impact on my life: my parents, a college professor, Sharon Wulf, the founder of Accomplishment Coaching, Christopher McAuliffe, and my coach, Jodi Larson. Some people I admire deeply are Eckhart Tolle, Tony Robbins, Jimmy Fallon and Pema Chodron.
Do you have any daily habits? If so, what are they?
I have rituals that I do daily including: prayer, meditation, journaling, coaching, and walking my dog, Duke. Some daily rituals I’m building toward are yoga, singing and sharing a teaching with the world.
When do you know your work/life balance is off?
When stop meditating or doing yoga I know that I have crammed too much into my week. They are two things that I love doing and are the first things to go if I don’t “have time”.
Vulnerability is a challenge for most men – share a vulnerable moment from your life with us.
I have a number of vulnerable shares from my past that would shock most readers. However, I have already shared them with the world so they don’t occur as vulnerable to me now. Sharing something that already feels safe isn’t a stretch. So here we go. I’m in a relationship right now that I’m uncertain I want to be in. She is a great partner, person and fits many of my conditions of satisfaction for a life partner. And it has never quite felt right to me. I’ve done a lot of transformational work on romantic relationships and because of the awareness I now have, I question my own intuition. I typically date women who have commitment issues themselves and my current girlfriend does not. I have a fear that I’m going to destroy something beautiful.
What did you learn from it?
I am still in it and learning every day. I’m aware there is no wrong choice and that I must empower whatever I choose. I’m a man who makes powerful choices daily and yet in this area of life I question myself. There is always more to discover about oneself.
If you are or were going to be a mentor for another man, what is one piece of advice you would give him?
Get a life coach. I think everyone including kids should have coaches. It’s a little insane that people are scared of exploring life coaching.
How do you be the best partner (Boyfriend/Husband- past or present)?
Take 100% responsibility for everything in the partnership.
Do you support any Charities or Not-for-profits? (Which one(s) and why?)
I produced and performed in a cabaret last year with some fellow Bravehearts with all the proceeds going to the SCHAP Community School in rural, Matoso, Kenya. I support many non-profits and charities having to do with child abuse, the LGBTQIA community, and human rights.
If your life had a theme song, what would it be?
All you need is love
Where do you see yourself in 3 years?
In 3 years, I will be preaching weekly at my trans-denominational spiritual center in New York, married with a kid on the way, and hosting Braveheart retreats and adventures around the globe.
What legacy do you want to leave for future generations?
That it’s possible to love everyone and have world peace
What One book would you recommend for any Man?
There isn’t a book on masculinity that I would recommend to everyone (it’s coming…) but the one I believe everyone should read is The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle. It’s simple, powerful and if you get it, you’re set for life.
If you know a Man that is making a positive impact on the world, we would love to hear from you! Contact us at [email protected]
spirituality
Man Of The Week – Light Watkins
Age: 42
What do you do?
I’m an author, teacher, and founder of The Shine Movement.
Why do you do it?
When I was 29, I made a vow to follow my heart relentlessly. I knew that if I could do that, all of my other needs would be met.
How do you make a difference in the world?
I feel that it’s my responsibility to have blind trust in life — and in the moments when I’m able to do that, everything and everyone that I come into contact with benefits.
What are 3 defining moments in your life?
1) When I was 7, my little league baseball coach instructed me not to swing, because he was afraid I would strike out. That experience taught me what discouragement feels like, and I vowed to never be that person who discourages people from taking a chance.
2) Discovering the Conversation with God books when I was 26 — it was my gateway into becoming a spiritual seeker.
3) Meeting my meditation teacher when I was 29.
What is your life purpose?
To continue following my heart and trusting in life.
How did you tap into it?
I believe it’s inherent within each of us. What I’ve found is that daily meditation refines my ability to detect heart messages with greater accuracy.
Who is your Role-Model or Mentor?
My father, an attorney, is my role model. He’s always been a hard worker, sharp as a whip, and one of the most insightful people I’ve ever met. He’s never lost a case.
Do you have any daily habits? If so, what are they?
Daily meditation. Exercise. Laughing.
When do you know your work/life balance is off?
When I’m reluctant to receive — it means I haven’t been giving enough.
Vulnerability is a challenge for most men – share a vulnerable moment from your life with us.
The process of accepting a new name, “Light,” and deciding to go through with changing it ten years ago.
What did you learn from it?
I learned that Westerners are the only culture to keep the name they were given at birth, and I received further confirmation that when you follow through with what’s in your heart, you always end up in a better position than you imagined for yourself.
If you are or were going to be a mentor for another man, what is one piece of advice you would give him?
Always leave a situation or relationship better than you found it, including your own body and life.
How do you be the best partner (Boyfriend/Husband- past or present)
When the going gets tough, remember that women communicate very differently from men (and often have different priorities as well), so instead of resisting those differences, learn to appreciate and honor them.
Do you support any Charities or Not-for-profits? (Which one(s) and why?)
I started The Shine Movement in Los Angeles as a community of micro-philanthropy. In other words, inspire a lot of people to use what they have now to make a difference on a local level.
If your life had a theme song, what would it be?
Bobby McFerrin – Don’t Worry Be Happy
Where do you see yourself in 3 years?
Still teaching and writing, and hopefully being a father
What legacy do you want to leave for future generations?
The truth about happiness — that it comes from within
What One book would you recommend for any Man?
My book, The Inner Gym: A 30-Day Workout for Strengthening Happiness. It’s a practical how-to guide for anyone who wants to stabilize happiness from the inside-out.
If you know a Man that is making a positive impact on the world, we would love to hear from you! Contact us at [email protected]
Man Of The Week – Michael Ventura
Michael Ventura is a Man of many talents and gifts, from being an award-winning entrepreneur and creative director, to a healing practitioner forming strategies for Fortune 100 companies, and now currently serving as a Adjunct Professor teaching Empathic Design at Princeton University. In 2004, Michael founded Sub Rosa, a strategy and design studio that focuses on helping brands form creative and strategic practices with empathic design at its core. Bearing a strong connection to community and nature, Michael and his wife, Caroline, also run a shop and gallery in New York, which serves as a place for communal gatherings and human connection. If that wasn’t enough, his desire to leave the world in a better place than he found it has seen him serve on the boards of numerous organizations and non-profits: United Nations Department of Public Information’s Tribal Link, The Burning Man Organization and The Smithsonian Cooper Hewitt National Design Museum, to name just a few. It should come as no surprise that Michael is our Man Of The Week, read on to discover what an inspiring role-model Michael is for Men today.
Age: 35
What do you do? (Work)
The short answer is I help solve problems. A longer answer is that the way I do this varies considerably depending on what part of my work we’re talking about. For the past 13 years I’ve run Sub Rosa, a strategy and design studio that works with brands to help them explore, learn, and grow into better businesses. Additionally, my wife Caroline and I run a home interiors shop and gallery in the West Village. The shop is really a community gathering space where so many people we know and love find a way to spend time together and connect. Lastly, I have also spent over a decade studying and then practitioning a variety of alternative and indigenous medicine modalities. I treat about 15 people each week across a spectrum of physical, emotional, and spiritual challenges they are facing.
Why do you do it?
I think I’m genetically wired to do this. My whole life, I’ve always been a pretty empathic person. I feel a lot of stuff and I try my best to harness my own capacity for problem solving to fix the challenges that get presented to me.
How do you make a difference in the world? (Work, business, life, family, self)
Ooof. That’s a big question. I guess for me, making a difference isn’t always about the big, seismic moments. Sometimes it’s the little things. The small, 2 or 3 degree turns you make that end up changing things for the better somewhere down the line. I hope that being intentional, thoughtful, and considerate of those I interact with helps each of them to go through the daily round a little better than the day prior.
What are 3 defining moments in your life?
– Meeting my better-half back in 2005. Caroline is the perfect partner who truly understands all of my strange idiosyncratic ways and helps me to live the life I want to live. I try my best every day to reciprocate.
– Realizing in 2009 that I needed to learn alternative medicine from some of the amazing healers and shamans who were working on me. Their guidance, collaboration, and belief in my work is something I carry every day.
– Bouncing back from tough moments in my own life, my business, and my personal relationships. There isn’t a date for this. These are defining moments that occur all the time. Life is unexpected. It’s challenging. But it’s also amazing and lessons await us around every turn.
What is your life purpose?
To be open to possibilities, work diligently at improving myself and the lives of others, and to embrace and spread kindness.
How did you tap into it?
It wasn’t a thunderclap. It was (and is) a slow boil. Most of my twenties (like a lot of people) were about exploration, failure, and finding a way to chart the course of my life. Constant self-observation mixed with a healthy dose of humility and forgiveness were (and are) a big part of it.
Who is your Role-Model or Mentor?
I don’t really have a “mentor” per se. Lessons come from everywhere. Being involved in fairly diverse types of work and thought, I don’t think I would have been well served with a singular mentor guiding me. My family, my spiritual community, my dog, my plants, and my friends are all teachers – and I hope my lessons will continue to come from such a wide array of participants as my life goes on.
Do you have any daily habits? If so, what are they?
I do a variety of alternative medicine and wellness work every day. This includes meditation, qi gong, tai chi, and a host of other practices depending on what the day calls for. In addition, I try to spend at least a quarter of my day outside whenever I can and I walk as much as possible.
When do you know your work/life balance is off?
I feel it in my bones. My body gets sluggish and my mind moves slowly. It’s usually a sign I need to cut and run for a few days – getting myself to a quiet place in nature – be it the desert, the woods, or the ocean – typically resets my clock.
Vulnerability is a challenge for most men – share a vulnerable moment from your life with us.
My wife and I have been together for 10 years. We’ve been married for 7. We’ve seen great couples come and go through those years and we’ve had a few rough patches ourselves. We got married kinda young and we were still figuring ourselves out, nevermind figuring out each other. As a result, there came a point where we needed to get really raw and open with each other about the people we had become, what we were getting rid of, and what we wanted to grow toward. We both knew that in the discussing of this moment of transition, we might find we had grown apart. But to not discuss it would have been even tougher in the long run. Good news is, we worked through our own evolutions and got to understand each other even better in the process. Had we not been willing to be vulnerable to each other and to the potential outcomes that might result, we may not have made it.
What did you learn from it?
(see above)
If you are or were going to be a mentor for another man, what is one piece of advice you would give him?
If you don’t get into trouble you’ll never get out of it. Challenge yourself but don’t be too hard on yourself either. Take risks and learn from failures. Enjoy successes but only for a moment. No one likes an asshole.
How do you be the best partner (Boyfriend/Husband- past or present)?
Think before you act, listen before you speak, have sex after a fight, tell her you love her in imaginative ways every day.
Do you support any Charities or Not-for-profits? (Which one(s) and why?)
A big part of our work at Sub Rosa is focused on supporting charities and NGOs. I am a formal and informal advisor to a multitude of organizations that I know and love. They include The Smithsonian Cooper Hewitt National Design Museum, The United Nations Tribal Link Foundation, The Burning Man Organization, Esalen Institute, and a series of social initiatives being run out of the White House.
If your life had a theme song, what would it be?
“Long as I Can See The Light” by Creedence
Where do you see yourself in 3 years?
I’m not really a planner. I’ll be where I need to be.
What legacy do you want to leave for future generations?
I’m less concerned with my own legacy. What I’d like to ensure is that I’ve made a difference in the hearts and minds of those I’ve met, that I helped them to get through this life a little easier, and that maybe I’ve inspired them to do the same for someone else.
What One book would you recommend for any Man?
“Shadows on the Path” by Abdi Assadi
Being Comfortable in the Mystery
Tell me about your spirituality… Huh?! What? Um, OK…
Being asked to speak at ManTalks about spirituality, I asked myself do I have any more to offer about this topic than anyone else?!
What is spirituality, what is consciousness, why are we here, why does all of this even exist? Where can we begin? How does one describe the indescribable? How do you attempt to use definitive and limiting language to explain or convey personal, subjective experiences?
To me, spirituality seems to be the conscious (or unconscious) relationship we have with the present moment. No matter what that seems to be for each of us, there is a truth we can all agree on; we are here, now. We do exist. So that’s something. That is something we can build upon. And whether we are aware of it or not, we are still having a spiritual experience.
What is consciousness?
Well… I don’t know. But it seems to include a number of things: how we perceive the world, our thoughts, being aware, our intentions and more. I tend to lean more towards the notion that consciousness is a fundamental property of the universe, not something confined strictly to our brains.
It seems that a correlation between consciousness and our material world does exist in some way, shape or form. You can rationalize this by the notion of intelligence. I see intelligence as something that can respond to the environment in some organized way. This can be taken all the way down to sub-atomic particles interacting with one another based off of their various physical properties of mass, charge or polarity, velocity or trajectory. At some level consciousness could be a part of all that exists. And as these patterns of nature layer upon layer build on one another, the reactivity between matter and the environment evolves and appears more complex. And this layering of complexity could link those subatomic particles all the way to Miley Cyrus twerking on a stage!
“Everything in its most basic form is not matter but energy.” – Unknown.
I have always tried to be as open as possible to ideas, philosophies and phenomenon. But ultimately what helped me formulate my personal relationship with the present moment (all that is), up until this current point, comes down to the exploring my curiosity.
Travelling
Anything that takes you out of your daily patterns, rhythms, and behaviours can stretch your mind and touch your heart in unpredictable ways.
When I set out traveling, I did not have a conscious spiritual intention. But backpacking around the globe, be it solo or in small groups, shook me up so much that I couldn’t help but feel and experience the expansion of my consciousness.
When you travel, everything is new and different. The climate, the cities, the sights and sounds, the food and smells, the language and culture. You’ll get derailed from your usual automatized way of being externally and internally. It becomes easy to be present because you’re always able to observe the simple things of life that we often become numb to.
Plus you connect with others of our earth tribe, and that is always a rich connection to experience as well. It is for these reasons and more that traveling can become a spiritual experience, a prolonged period of deep connection to the earth, people, and the present moment.
Practices
Much like traveling can catalyze a greater state of presence and connection to whatever is, there are pantheons of other practices that can ultimately do the same thing.
The act of deautomatization and bringing one’s self into the present moment, deeply connecting to one’s self, and the rest of the universe, through the portals of ourselves (our minds, hearts, and bodies), is ultimately what a consistent practice can bring you.
Practicing yogic asanas (physical exercise) and meditations (Vipassana, pranayama, and floating) can send you deep into altered states of consciousness, not usually experienced in our contemporary westernized world fueled by caffeine and alcohol.
Our whole lives exist along a spectrum of consciousness. Our state of consciousness is always in flux. Simple things like low-blood sugar will affect our state. Likewise a full nights rest will also affect our state of consciousness. Drinking alcohol, smoking cigarettes, running 20 km, will also alter our state of consciousness. It is our personal labels that decide if something is a positive or negative state to us.
It is only through putting yourself into clear, yet definitively altered states of consciousness; that will cause you to have a greater perspective on things.
Author, philosopher, and psychonaut Terence McKenna says that only when you PERTURB consciousness enough in certain ways do we notice that it is even there at all. He equates it to humans swimming in a sea of consciousness, and it is not until you alter your state that you are able to perceive the water. He cleverly says that whoever discovered water surely wasn’t a fish. It is not until we can shift our state of consciousness enough to perceive it from a different space that we can better understand the nature of our consciousness.
When I commit to a regular practice of asana, seated meditation or floating (I am often doing a constant combination of all 3) it usually sends me into a hypersensitive state of calm and stillness. It helps to cut through the habitual patterns of thought that may or may not be serving me and shifts me into a state of groundedness and/or elevates me into a state of floatingness. I find that each practice begins to synergistically affect one another as well. The various practices can bring me into a similar space, but each coming from a unique direction that generates a unique experience and understanding.
It is these sorts of practices that allow me to become so calm and peaceful that I can comfortably release and surrender into my current totality of myself in the present moment. And even when I notice some resistance, usually generated by the ego (my identification with form), they have taught me to release as much as I can each time. I have found this ability to surrender to be extremely helpful when reacting to something that hasn’t gone to plan, something perceivably negative, which can always be reframed into a lesson or greater understanding. I try to make every negative turn into a teaching that will then serve me.
Entheogens
The lessons of surrender, releasing or letting go via the practices above have helped me to dive deep into my subconscious with acceptance, compassion and courage when I’ve explored the plant teachers of this earth.
Last year I came out of the closet, so to speak, about my personal use with these currently controversial and inappropriately illegal substances.
I don’t think that the use of substances like psilocybin mushrooms, Ayahuasca, or cannabis should be used in a recreational environment, but ideally regulated and safely used with the guidance of experienced elders or in a setting with a deeper intention.
Those who have been to the other side and back, and have a sound grasp of navigating, not only the deeper layers of themselves, but also into these deep, mystical realms that these plants seem to reveal when consumed, are ideally those who should introduce these vegetable allies to others.
The entire nature of our neurophysiological interaction with these plants is truly taking things to another level that I don’t recommend everyone to do. Just like I would not suggest a person with heart disease and high risk to a myocardial infarction take a hike up the Grouse Grind. But I do feel with the appropriate perquisites and intentions there are many who would experience massive personal benefits by using these Entheogens with respect, reverence, and guidance.
The term Entheogen is my preferred use instead of psychedelic or hallucinogen. It means generating the divine within. Personally, I can say that these substances have cultivated many profound personal insights, revelations, and understandings for me. They have revealed patterns of limiting beliefs that I was previously not aware of. They have opened my heart (the seed or gateway of our spirituality) in ways I did not know I could. And they have shown me by direct experience other planes of existence. I have encountered spirits and have come to my personal conclusions that this world is magic. I cannot say it any other way.
At the risk of sounding like a flake, I still say this; for the experiences I have had up until this point Magic is the best way I can describe it. The plants can talk, there are other Beings, and we have much to learn.
I look forward to any and all comments. Please don’t take my words on blind faith, put them to your tests. Develop your own models and relationships with your existence, your life experience in this infinite and beautiful universe. That is the only way.
In the words of Van Morrison: “No guru, no method, no teacher, just you and me and Mother Nature. In the garden, in the garden, wet with rain.”
Thank you.
Mike Zaremba is a Certified Strength and Conditioning Specialist who no longer works directly in this field, but rather is now the co-founder of Float House, Vancouver’s first commercial float centre in Vancouver in over 20 years. He and his brother, Andy, are now leaders within this rapidly growing industry with the ultimate goal of making floating into a mainstream practice and tool actively used by contemporary medicine. He’s an avid world traveller and is always looking to challenge himself by getting into those uncomfortable experiences in life. Mike is a Vancouverite transplant originally from Mississauga, ON and now calls North Vancouver home.
Connect with Mike on Twitter and Facebook