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Man Of The Week – Dean Smith

There are many moments in life where you feel like the rug was pulled from under you, or when someone shares a ground-breaking perspective on life that you’ve never considered. These moments come from the people around us, but also from within. A lot of the time, doing your own personal reflection can also help reshape the way you see the world and how you want to show up by asking yourself the tough questions. For Dean Smith, his tough questions were “What can I create, how can I create it, and how will it serve others?”

Dean is our newest Man Of The Week and boy does he an incredible and powerful story. A man who believes in being of service to others, showing love and support for those around you, and forgiveness being critical to his success. A man who’s weathered his fare share of life’s storms, from having his mother murdered to rekindling his love and bond with his wife Molly, Dean personifies what it means to love and connect with people regardless of their performance. Today he is a speaker, coach and the Director of Executive Coaching for the Og Mandino Leadership Institute. Check out the rest of his story below!

Age: 42 years old

What do you do? (Work)
Keynote Speaker / High-Performance Coach / Minister

Why do you do it?
There’s nothing more fulfilling than helping someone discover a new possibility for their life. For many years I lived “survival focused.” I internally asked, “why me?” My life changed course when I began asking, “What can I create, how can I create it, and how will it serve others?” My purpose, passion, and fulfillment is found in utilizing all my life’s experiences, challenges, and successes to serve others.

How do you make a difference in the world? (Work, business, life, family, self)
I’m grateful to be the Director of Executive Coaching for the Og Mandino Leadership Institute. This fancy title means I get to assist successful professional’s overcome challenges and reach consistently high levels of personal and business performance.

What are 3 defining moments in your life?
– In sixth grade, the day my mom was murdered was a day that changed my life forever. That day birthed my biggest life challenge, but it also was the beginning of the revelation to the deep truth that all things can work together for good.
– 2004 The day that I decided in the inner-most part of my heart that divorce with my wife, Molly would not ever be an option again. I had considered it many times over the first two years of marriage and at one point decided I didn’t love her AT ALL anymore. After taking the divorce option off the table, I was forced to find solutions. I can honestly report that it was the beginning of an intense relational healing process and we’ve never been happier as a couple. We have two beautiful children that are a constant reminder of the rewards of fighting through the tough times in marriage.
– 2009, I stood on a stage in front of hundreds of people, talking about my forgiveness journey. Toward the end of my talk, I invited the man who murdered my mother up on stage (it should be noted that he’d already paid for his crimes with 12 years in prison). That was the day my sister forgave him too. My journey to forgive, reconcile with and help save the life of the man that murdered my mom was made into an award-winning, internationally distributed documentary entitled, ‘Live To Forgive’.

What is your life purpose?
To help other’s know Truth, optimize attitudes, and live in the fullness of their God-given potential.

How did you tap into it?
My journey was founded on a relationship with God.
1) Prayer  2) Listening  3) Make lots of mistakes 4) Repeat steps 1-3

Who is your Role-Model or Mentor?
Pastor Rex Bell. He is my fifth and final dad since age 12. He adopted me after my mom’s death. He mentored me, verbally encouraged me, and helped me to learn about loving people and God. Rex was a very busy pastor but he spent quality time with me daily, imparting wisdom and listening. His love and guidance helped build my character and confidence.

Do you have any daily habits? If so, what are they?
Start my day with lots of intentionally-edifying thoughts, verbal affirmations, prayer, and inspiring music. When I look over all my specific responsibilities, meetings, and to-do’s for the day, I say aloud, “I want to, I get to, and I choose to” rather than “I have to, I should, and I must.” This framing helps keep me inspired and passionate that I am engaging in tasks that are ultimately helping me achieve my goals and live a life of purpose.

When do you know your work/life balance is off?
When my wife looks at me with weary kaleidoscope eyes I know it’s time to refocus from work mode to family mode. I’ve made that mistake so many times that now my inner compass is a bit more developed than a decade ago. For my wife’s sake, I’m always striving to be the “Anti-Kaleidoscope Man.” I’ve interviewed dozens of world-changers and when I ask them what would you do different, a majority expresses regret about not spending more time with family.

Vulnerability is a challenge for most men – share a vulnerable moment from your life with us.
I left a successful sales career to pursue an entrepreneurial dream and after 3 years discovered that I had unintentionally left my wife (Molly) behind (figuratively speaking) and our financial situation became dire.  Molly was embittered and our marriage was struggling. To remedy the situation and bring healing to our relationship, I went back to corporate America (which was initially humiliating and humbling) to provide financial stability. Also, I re-prioritized my marriage. Interestingly, I now help other’s avoid this same pitfall during my keynotes and one-on-coaching clients. It was hard to believe I’d made so many unwise choices while trying so hard to do the right thing. In time, I realized that only productive questions would serve my purpose.

What did you learn from it?
If you’re not in unity with your wife, the foundation of personal and business success will be unstable

If you are or were going to be a mentor for another man, what is one piece of advice you would give him?
Look into your life and discover where you are making the same mistakes repeatedly, find the source of sabotaging thoughts that are keeping you in bondage. Learn to transform/change them to work for you.
Forgive and love when the other person clearly doesn’t deserve it. It may be one of the most manly things you ever do.
Pray

How do you be the best partner (Boyfriend/Husband- past or present)
Consciously live in/with Agape love (a heightened sense of awareness). This means I choose to love regardless of performance. I simply love her because I love her. Forgiveness, grace, verbal affirmations are as normal and natural as breathing. It creates an atmosphere of safety and security (for her) and respect (for me).

Do you support any Charities or Not-for-profits? (Which one(s) and why?)
I’m the founder/director of ‘Live To Forgive Ministries’ which helps people unshackle from bitterness, anger, and resentment and experience freedom in their minds and relationships. This freedom usually leads to business breakthrough, too.

If your life had a theme song, what would it be?
The Word by The Beatles

Where do you see yourself in 3 years?
Spending lots of quality time with my wife and kids—oh and speaking internationally as a Transformational Speaker. Also, making Forgiveness University the premier online resource for all things forgiveness.

What legacy do you want to leave for future generations?
I’ve attended several funerals lately of dear friends and family. As I intently listened to the eulogies, I received a deep impression that the greatest and most influential legacy we can leave is a legacy of love. I want to be remembered as someone who loved hard and helped others experience the freedom and fulfillment of doing the same.

What One book would you recommend for any Man?
‘The Greatest Salesman in the World’ by Og Mandino

Who is one Man you think our readers would love to read about in future ‘Man Of The Week’ features?
DAVE ROWE: who listened and reacted to the messages received during a Near Death Experience and now strives to help men make changes in their lives to be the best version of their authentic selves without needing to come so close to death.

Man Of The Week – Horrasias Balabyekkubo

For those of you who have attended our events in the past, you may have heard about this week’s ‘Man Of The Week’: Horrasias Balabyekkubo. Horrasias is an incredible human being with a wealth of talents ranging from a being loving father, a successful entrepreneur, a visionary philanthropist, an author and a motivational speaker, to name a few! From the age of 14, Horrasias began taking steps to plan his future, sought out mentorship from community leaders and making his dream a reality. Having lived on three continents, Horrasias has a wealth of stories that will send tingles down your spine, inspire you to find your purpose, live in integrity with it, and to help lay the foundation for future generations.

  1. Age: 32
  2. What do you do? (For work)
    Brand Ambassador and Distributor for Enagic Canada, Project Director at a Primary and Secondary School in Uganda and an Author.
  3. Why do you do it?
    I do it because it gives me the opportunity to give back in a life giving way to the current society I live in and across the globe. As a director it allows me to continue to build the vision of the school as well as set it on a higher trajectory for greater impact in the community we serve and the nation as a whole. I write because what I have found is; my sharpest weapon to dethrone mediocrity from the lives of young people and my greatest tool move this generation forward is my pen.
  4. How do you make a difference in the world? (Work, business, life, family, self)
    I make a difference in the world remaining constant, consistent and determined to see every man, woman and child meet their true self. By writing words that inspire, teaching the practical steps to attain fulfillment and speaking in motivational tones to ignite passion and determination in the hearts of my listeners. By staying open and vulnerable before the people it shows that the only way forward for any individual is to find that harmony and balance in the shared experience mankind by recognizing the heart of another human as significant as their own. With my children, it is simple, blow their mind daily with showing them anything is possible with determination and hard work and a lot of imagination. Setting them on a foundation of joy and compassion goes a long way to help them realize their true potential. At work the balance comes to me in delivering superior quality service and discipline in my own individual effort thereby shifting the culture among my colleagues to present our excellence to the market place. We set the standard high.
  5. What are 3 defining moments in your life?
    1. At 19 I realized, that at 6 years old I had known all along and I had delivered with precision the oracles of God with out fear and with reckless abandon, I knew who I was and why I was here; from that moment I was determined and walked with discipline to bring forth that same vigour and excellence to whatever I would do in my life and vowed never to forget my purpose again nor dim its light to “fit in” with the masses of men.
    2. My first trip back to my homeland after 12 years of being away was one of those defining moments in my life to set me on course to reaching and attaining my destiny. I was in college and had bought the marketing plan of North America: go to school, get the degree, get a job at a reputable organization, work 40 years, retire well. But it was landing into Entebbe Airport, seeing Lake Victoria and the vibrant colours of the soil and greenery, the red tile roofs mixed in that told me there was something more for my life. You see North America has a way of lulling one to sleep, or choosing the safety and complacency of mediocre exploits over the grand design and purpose for ones life. It was those 37 days in Uganda changed everything. From leaving my chosen field of expertise to enlisting in battle against injustice and poverty, choosing that my life would be spent in defence of the widow and the orphan, the last, the lost, the least and the nearly dead. I knew that this was the raging desire of my life, the constant purpose to carry me through the darkness and the fog. This was to be my magnum opus.
    3. When my son was born. August 25th, 2009 changed everything. It was the culminating event of my young manhood. I had dreamed of being a husband and father for so long that on that day, I was in heaven, the whole earth faded away and all at once I was one with the divine as I opened my mouth to speak the first words he would hear from his father, his defender and protector; I looked into his blue eyes and spoke, “you are my son, in whom all my life has found meaning, I will dare to embolden you to reach for your greatness, I will never leave you, I will defend you against the perils that life will bring, but most important I will love you for all time. You are born of fire, to be fire and to breed fire. A man of the horse and spear. Defender of the realm. You will arise, you will stand, you will conquer.” I sang to him the songs of my father in Luganda, and we became One soul. My Daughter was born May 24, 2011. I was speechless. my heart stopped and danced with rapture. I was now a King among men, I was now to raise these two to the light of their purpose. Life’ Song was worth dancing again. From the first, Fatherhood has been the crowning achievement of my life. Everything else is noise.
  6. What is your life purpose?
    My life’s purpose is to inspire young men and young women to live at their optimum level of impact. Teaching them to marshall their faculties to achieve their chief aim and ultimate purpose in life. To build an army of like minded individuals who want to build great and thriving communities so the generations to come will be living in balance, moving with clock work precision towards maximum impact, disciplined in thought, excellent in conduct, noble in deeds.
  7. How did you tap into it?
    I went back to Uganda when I was 21 and it was on the mountains of Rwanda that I got the spark and it was in the valley of Tyler, Texas where the blueprint was found. I then spent the next 11 years learning, tweaking, and masterminding the plan that will culminate in Operation Trailblazer Dec 31,2015. It took going back to my roots, going off the beaten track and off what I thought my purpose was, questioning what was handed to me as my chief aim by my family, friends and teachers, that I was able to see the signs, the writing on the wall and the omens that would guide me to my greatest treasure.
  8. Who is your Role-Model or Mentor?
    My greatest role model is my father, John Deogratias Balabyekkubo, a Son, Brother, Father, Husband, Friend, Activist, Pioneer, Author, Musician, Playwright, Disciple, Apostle, Preacher, Missionary,Philanthropist, Leader, Visionary, Luminary, Revolutionary, Maverick, the list is endless. He is my father, my friend, confidant and constant north. Defender of my dreams, preserver of my virtue, he is my best example of what a man looks like and what a father loves like, what a husband acts like, what INTEGRITY sounds, tastes, feels, looks, smells like. Oh and he was the sharpest dressed man I have ever seen. He loved God and he served his people.
  9. Do you have any daily habits? If so, what are they?
    Daily Method of Operation is crucial to attain your best from yourself. It demands discipline to achieve any success in any venture. Even if the venture is relaxing, you must do it in a disciplined way so you can maximize the benefit of it. For me that means Reading two hours a day, then studying or mastering your craft gets an hour and a half daily; Physical exercise gets an hour and fifteen minutes, then work on your necessary projects such as income generating activities, networking and building relationships. The bulk of my time however is spent in fostering the seeds of excellence and epic-ness in the imaginations of my two glorious children.
  10. When do you know your work/life balance is off?
    I know my life and work balance is off when it starts to feel like there is not enough time to do the “joy” activities. You get so excited sometimes about a particular project that you begin to get consumed by its manifestation. Which often relegates the important things to the side for the time being, now don’t get me wrong there are seasons when you have to put priority and importance on said projects but for me I always try to include my two top priorities in whatever I do so I never neglect preserving the wonder in their lives. So the moment I am to “IN” to a certain project that I have to say no to any of the requests I normally would gladly do with the Royals. I stop and reassess the plan and rectify it, because they are never going to feel second to any mission, person, or goal. It’s all for them.
  11. Vulnerability is a challenge for most men – share a vulnerable moment from your life with us.
    Vulnerability is the wellspring of creative growth. I truly believe that when you lay bare your heart and soul you can look at and live your life in front of you. I was honoured and blessed to be apart of a ManTalks event that was based on mentors and fatherhood. I was blessed to share the stage with great men and even more humbled to hear their stories. I spoke on my father’s influence on my life and the way I parent my children; as I was speaking I felt this great opening in my heart to really love the people present there in the room, to really show them that I was a man who was unafraid of discussing life, liberty and the pursuit of epic-ness. I spoke about wounds that I have thought had healed and fresh scars from recent events that have sought to un-man me. The experience was exhilarating and educational both for the audience and myself. I felt as if I had let the world see me for the first time unafraid to be seen.
  12. What did you learn from it?
    I learnt All my life, after my father’s death I have sought to lead a life of polish and poise; but it was this unmasking in front of two hundred plus new friends that helped me see that I could be free to lead my life to the full again. It taught me to go with ‘Plan A’ every time, show your fullness. I am going to quote a t.v show Friday Night Lights, the football team had the team mantra: “clear eyes, full hearts, can’t lose.”
  13. If you are or were going to be a mentor for another man, what is one piece of advice you would give him?
    If I were to mentor any man; I would simply tell him “find the honesty within you again. Look inside and be really real with yourself, pull back every layer, peak into every crevice and find your humanity, what makes you authentic is not just being sincere, its being truthful about your motives, intents, and core value. So it is vital you know what they are and how to deliver them into the market place of ideas and life.” Teachability says, I may know it already but there may be another way to do it. Let me seek it out. Learn, Learn, Learn, then Implement the knowledge.
  14. How do you be the best partner (Boyfriend/Husband- past or present)
    The key to being the best partner is simple; be willing. Willing to learn from each other, Willing to hold your partner at their absolute worst and celebrate them at their best even when you don’t “feel” like it. Willing to communicate your needs in a way that can actually get the result or desired end you have in mind. Be willing to Love for loving’s sake; not for a pat on the back, or to get something, just simply to Love your partner in a way that would inspire them to rise to their greatest self. Be willing to show yourself at any given moment to reassure your partner that they have free access to your heart especially when you want to close off and run. Be willing to admit wrong, be willing to be still and listen, be willing to grow. Be willing to show up consistently.
  15. Do you support any Charities or Not-for-profits? (Which one(s) and why?)
    I work with Bavubuka Foundation and Cleft of the Rock Foundation which use the arts, education and social entrepreneurship to impact various communities in Uganda and in the diaspora. Working with youth to influence their communities at large. The reason for my continued involvement is I believe in equipping the next generation to step into the halls of power fully armed with reason, a sense of equality and justice for all as well as the self discipline and governance within that will keep them on the path of high moral values, integrity and service to the communities they work in.
  16. If your life had a theme song, what would it be?
    Like a Rock, Bob Seger
  17. Where do you see yourself in 3 years?
    Three years from now I will be finishing phase one of Operation Trailblazer, I will be based out of Uganda, East Africa, building infrastructure projects in rural areas. I will be leading two thousand young people and developing training schools and other entrepreneurial pursuits to bolster the robust plan in phase two . Also at that time I will be balancing out all that legendary stuff at my farm at Kilindi, Uganda as a gentleman farmer.
  18. What legacy do you want to leave for future generations?
    Love, Loyalty, Legacy. These three principles are at the core of my being and my compass home. The Legacy I want to leave for future generations is Love God, Love his people. We are all human, we are all endowed by our creator with greatness. If we serve one another and help one another on the path to our greatness we will surely get to that desired better world we have all been taught about all our lives but have never seen. I want to go there with you. Therefore it is left to us in this generation to lay the ground work afresh with fresh zeal and purpose, so that our children and their children would benefit greatly from our sacrifices. I love people. Love them. Understanding that it is this gift of loving others that frees you up to attain self actualization, to reach fulfilment is power beyond measure. the Legacy is to ensure that every man woman and child can dream and realize that dream whilst they have breath in their lungs; life, liberty and the pursuit of epic-ness is our charge. Dare to dream and allow others to benefit from its goodness.
  19. What One book would you recommend for any Man?
    The Book of Proverbs

If you know a Man that is making a positive impact on the world, we would love to hear from you! Contact us at [email protected]

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