Fatherhood

Man Of The Week – Michael Zipursky

Michael Zipursky offers the perfect example of how one can step up and be the best version of himself simply by choosing to do so. In a world where many are tempted by distractions, Michael learned that being of service to the world and having a profound impact is determined by nothing more than consciously choosing to stay committed to one’s purpose and taking action. Everyday, Michael chooses to be the best businessman and father he can be, and as a result he’s been able to create several successful businesses that connect people to each other, and in turn help fulfill their dreams. Today he is the Co-Founder of FreshGigs.ca and the CEO of ConsultingSuccess.com

Age: 34

What do you do? (Work)
I’m the co-founder of FreshGigs.ca, a job site specializing in Marketing, Media and Design jobs in Canada. I’m also the CEO of ConsultingSuccess.com where I work with consultants all around the world to help them create marketing systems to consistently attract their ideal clients, increase their fees and position them as authorities and experts in their industry.

Why do you do it?
With both businesses my passion is to help people and make a difference. With FreshGigs.ca it’s connecting qualified marketing and design professionals with employers. It’s a great feeling when an employer is thankful that they were able to find a great fit for their company quickly and easily. And we love hearing from job seekers that have landed their dream job.
I love the work I do with consultants at ConsultingSuccess.com. In the last year alone consultants that have gone through our coaching programs have added $4.63M in new client business. It’s great that they are making more money, but what really gets them excited, and us too, is what that does for their confidence and how they are able to take care of their spouse or family, or contribute more to their community.

How do you make a difference in the world? (Work, business, life, family, self)
I start by caring. Having a clear intention of what impact I can make in the lives of my clients, my friends, family and the global community. Rather than attempting to DO many things I focus on what impact and result my ACTION will create. I have a young daughter. My love for her and how I want to support and raise her is also one way I believe I can make a difference in the world. My role in a lot of the work I do, whether it’s with coaching and consulting clients, giving keynotes and presentation or raising my daughter, is to teach. To share what I’ve learned and to help others.

What are 3 defining moments in your life?
– I lived in Israel as a young child. When my family returned to Canada I had to learn how to speak English and to integrate into the society and culture. Looking back I have amazing memories of that time. It’s a gift to come from another country because it opens your eyes to see things in different ways. To hold a unique perspective. In my case it left me with a deep appreciation of different cultures, languages, religions and life styles.
– I took a business that my business partner and I had started in Canada and grew it in Japan. I lived in Japan for five years and had the privilege of working with clients like Panasonic, Financial Times, Omron, Nissha, and many other billion dollar companies. This all happened in my early and mid-twenties. I wrote about this experience in “How a 20 year old works with a $70 Billion Consulting Client”. It was an amazing experience that came with many challenges. From pitching ideas and strategies in Japanese to CEOs and executives to hustling between university courses and boardrooms.
– The birth of my daughter felt and continues to feel very natural. Some people describe the experience as life altering and how things are never the same. I agree with aspects of it, but I haven’t found it to feel like a big change. It’s what I expected. It does bring a whole new level of meaning and appreciation to life. It puts things in perspective and really makes what is important in life clear.

What is your life purpose?
I believe your life purpose should evolve as you do. Right now my focus is on serving my clients and being the best father and husband I can be.

How did you tap into it?
By making a choice. You can choose to be a sufficient husband or father, or a good one, or a great one. We all have these choices. I made mine, to be the best I can be, and constantly ask myself how am I doing and can I do better?

Who is your Role-Model or Mentor?
I’ve had many mentors over the years. Anyone serious about growing their business or craft should have one. There’s a reason the best of the best, the top CEOs, Olympians, and singers have a coach or mentor. I’ve experienced the greatest leaps in success, both on a personal and business level, by working with coaches.

Do you have any daily habits? If so, what are they?
A 6am morning workout. My wife makes me a smoothie everyday that looks like a massive salad – it’s amazing. I try and make time to read and learn something new every day. I work hard. Some would call me a workaholic. I don’t look at it like that. When you enjoy what you do and love the process of it, why wouldn’t you work. It doesn’t mean I don’t make plenty of time to travel, enjoy time with family and friends, go for weekend getaways, and most importantly spend time with my daughter everyday.

When do you know your work/life balance is off?
When you’re tired and stressed. Each of these on their own can tell you something about how you’re working. Or an event you’re dealing with that day. If you’re feeling both at once and it continues over several days or weeks it’s likely that your work and life balance is off kilter. That you don’t have your priorities straight.

Vulnerability is a challenge for most men – share a vulnerable moment from your life with us.
I’ve built several businesses over the years and have made mistakes throughout each one of them. I don’t focus on negative experiences and choose rather to move right past them. I’m happy to share the lessons I’ve learned and certainly have a stack of them. Whether it’s the time that a client was very unhappy. It wasn’t our companies fault, but that didn’t matter. I had to catch a bullet train up to Tokyo. Have a 4 hour meeting with the client. Then take another bullet train back that day, meet my sister and step-mother who were flying in. When you read this it might sound like no big deal. Because in hind-sight most of the big challenges we face don’t seem that big or challenging looking back at them. I can tell you that this specific experience for many reasons was extremely stressful. It tested me. Ultimately, you learn from these experiences and keep moving forward. That’s what defines you and leads you to success.

What did you learn from it?
See my answer above.

If you are or were going to be a mentor for another man, what is one piece of advice you would give him?
In one word: Commitment. Be committed to what you really want. Whether it’s to your family, your health, your business, your integrity – all of them – be committed.

How do you be the best partner (Boyfriend/Husband- past or present)?
Be present. Make time. Listen. Love. Don’t take the time you have with your loved one for granted. Make every moment count. Seriously. We can all make more money. You can’t get back your time. Cherish it.

Do you support any Charities or Not-for-profits? (Which one(s) and why?)
My step-father has Alzheimer’s. It’s incredibly sad to see what this disease does to people. How it affects him, my mother and family. For the last several year’s I’ve supported this cause. I’ve also supported many other local charities and give to Kiva – helping entrepreneurs in developing countries.

If your life had a theme song, what would it be?
Different songs for different stages. Our lives are like a movie and every soundtrack has more than one song.

Where do you see yourself in 3 years?
Doing more of what I’m doing and higher and better levels. Continuing to serve our clients and make an impact on their businesses and lives. We have a strong plan that we are continuing to work and I have no doubt we’ll get there and continue to reach the goals and targets we set.

What legacy do you want to leave for future generations?
I’m not interested in being known for one single achievement. I’m not working towards a single legacy. On the business front I’m focused everyday on helping our clients achieve results and success. Every bit of that comes together and adds to the fabric of my over legacy and how I want to feel about my role and impact in the world. On the personal side my legacy for my daughter and family is to provide for them, to care for them, and to love them with everything I can.

What One book would you recommend for any Man?
Straight-line leadership by Dusan Djukich

If you know a Man that is making a positive impact on the world, we would love to hear from you! Contact us at [email protected]

"Daddy, Your Boobs Are Getting Bigger" [and Other Fatherhood Moments]

The Bizzare Joys of Fatherhood

IMAGE-1-LUTZ
This was quite possibly the single greatest thing my daughter could have ever said to me – I’ll explain why in a moment. It was a fatherhood moment I’ll never forget.
But first, allow me to take a bit of a detour and discuss this gem of a photo
When I first saw this photo on Facebook a few years ago, it was being shared and passed around faster than a virus at the living petri dish that is my kid’s school.
IMAGE-2-LUTZ
The headline that rode shotgun with that photo was, “I Know a Good Dad When I See One.”
And upon seeing it, I had mixed emotions.
First I thought, “Man, why can’t more parents be cool like that? That guy is awesome!”
Then, “Why don’t I do that shit? Wait, when did I stop being cool?”
And finally, “Who does that ass-clown think he is? He’s just trying to show up the rest of us dad’s out there like me who are too damn tired after working a full day to do anything more than let the television tell the kids their bedtime story, and pray to everything that is holy I don’t lose paper, rock, scissors on tucking the ‘needy’ kid in. She needs all 10 My Little Ponies (Don’t even think about forgetting about Pinky Pie), a glass of fresh water with crushed ice, a heating pad for her knees, and last but certainly not least, she’ll require you to listen to 17 different things she just happens to remember as you’re trying to close the door and lock her down for the night.”
Buuuuut I digress.
The fact of the matter is this photo of the cute kid and his show-off dad did, in fact, ignite something deep inside me. It made me realize that I actually WANT to be my kids’ hero. I want them to enjoy ripping it up and raising a little hell with their old man. I want them to look forward to hanging out with me. I want them to miss me when I’m gone. And yes, I even want to wear silly outfits together … in public. But I would never wear a cape – more on that later.
In order to become my kids’ hero, I knew some changes needed to happen. Just like any superhero accepting their new identity and learning their new powers, I knew there would be a learning curve.
Day 1 of Becoming ‘Superdad’.
I loaded the kids into the little buggy-pod-thingy (technical term alert) attached to the back of my bike and headed to the park to get some bonding in. After I caught my breath from towing those little meatballs damn near 8 blocks, and after the sweat rolling down my back seeking refuge in the crack betwixt my also sweating butt cheeks had mostly dried, I decided to join in the fun.
Within less than three minutes of playing together, I was told by my 4-year old daughter, Lily, who apparently was elected to speak on the behalf of both kids that, “We’re bored… and it sure is sweaty out here”.
No doubt, this was a dig at me.
It was time to move to phase 2 of this father-kid super mission: Ice Cream!
I re-loaded the now hot, irritable, and somehow heavier meatballs back into the buggy and began our trek back home.
Enter: crying, fighting, whining, Superdad threatening “no ice cream”, a short-lived silence, aaaaaaand repeat.
Finally, we made it back home. Time to take the kids out of the buggy and into the van. Easy enough one would think, right? Especially for Superdad.
“I need water!”
“Me too, daddy!”
Think, man, think.
But there were no other options. Any half-full old water bottles in the van were most-likely the temperature of molten lava, and I didn’t see any puddles in the street. Dammit.
So I unlocked the front door and headed into the house to get the water when, as if in slow motion with the Godfather theme song playing in the background, I saw my wife’s trusty rescue dog, Frenchy make a beeline for it, as my well-trained chihuahua, Chico, watched on in disgust from inside the house where I believe I saw him mouth the words, “he gawn” … but I can’t be fully certain about that.
For a split second, I thought, “Meh… he was an okay dog, my wife will probably miss him” (don’t judge).
But then I questioned, “What would Superdad do”?
Random Superdad Tip: Make sure you strap the kids into the van BEFORE chasing a runaway dog.
After 10 minutes of a super lively game of ‘keep away from the super-sweaty-heavily-breathing-and-wheezing guy’, where the dad tries desperately to catch three randomly moving objects in front of laughing neighbors, I finally seemed to get things under control. Now I’ve never tried to herd goats before, but I’d imagine this is kind of what it’s like.
Finally, Frenchy was safely resting in the house inside his crate, or as I like to refer to it in times like these, the sin bin, the kids were strapped in the van, I filled up and handed out some water glasses and put the van in reverse to pull out of the driveway, when I heard a VERY disgusted voice from the backseat, “ummm, there’s no ice in this water.”
After some slick negotiating where I pointed out that there was really no need for “ice”, since we were getting “ice cream”, and a few other solid arguments along those lines, I found myself saying hello to Frenchy as I walked by his crate and into the kitchen to get the ice … crushed, of course.
Okay, ice cream time.
This actually went smoothly, with the exception that my son Declan finished all of his ice cream (that which didn’t find itself on his face, hair, shirt, shorts, socks, shoes, underwear (how?!), carseat, and the seatbelt) before we even made three blocks from the parlor, and had then set his eyes on his sister’s.
And since he’s 2 years old, his reasoning skills are outstanding. Impeccable one might even say. I simply explained the situation and was met with perfect understanding. (Please note, this is sarcasm).
RANDOM QUESTION: Is it just me, or do other parents out there take a quick peek at the clock every 13 seconds, give or take, to see if it’s naptime yet?
Anyhow, after a couple more tantrums, it was finally nap time…which for some damn reason always comes as a surprise to my kids. Every day without exception my kids take naps. And every day, without exception, it’s a HUGE surprise! But I suppose that’s a chestnut to crack on another day.
Shhhhh, the kids were finally asleep. I collapse onto the couch, give the dogs that “shhhhhh, so help me if you wake them up glare,” look around the house and wonder why it appeared as if an F6 tornado violently ripped through our house (when in fact, it was actually 3 different destructive vortexes: 2 kids and a dog), and think to myself, “Meh, I’ll clean it later”.
FAST FORWARD: It was midnight and I heard a loud thump come from my daughter’s room. Now, most men would continue to lay there with their eyes closed playing “parent chicken” to see who would lay there the longest before the guilt kicked in and one of the parents finally gave in (or, so I hear anyhow). But not while Superdad was on duty.
I leapt out of bed in a single bound, ran into my daughter’s room faster than a speeding bullet, kicked open the door, as and my daughter just stared at me for a second with a look of genuine concern on her face.
There I stood, half-naked, breathing heavy, one eye crusted shut, barely awake and mumbling yoda-esque gibberish at her, “big boom, I heard… from your room, it came.”
My daughter looked down on the ground, then back up at me, and said, “Will you pick my dolly up off the ground?”
“Sure little girl, Superdad will save your dolly.”
“Thank you, daddy.”
“All in a day’s work, ma’am.”
I started to leave her room and lock her down for the night yet again, when…
“Oh, daddy, I have to tell you something.”
“Yes, my precious daughter.”
“Your boobies are getting bigger.”
That … was … the exact moment I realized I needed to start capturing and sharing some of these little memories. 

The cliché is true, they really do grow up so fast. That was nearly three years ago, but it’s the stuff I remember the most. I don’t want to forget all of these silly little things my kids say or do that make me love being their father so much.
The reality is, being their dad is one of the most frustrating, hair-pulling, thankless and exhausting jobs on the face of this planet… and I wouldn’t trade it for all the beers in Ireland.
ABOUT SUPERHERO CAPES:
Not to keep harping on that photo of the daddy-son crime-fighting duo, but I thought I would point out a couple more things:
1) A superhero doesn’t reveal their identity in public. Just saying.
2) As any parent who has watched The Incredibles 873 times can tell you, a cape can get a superhero killed. So this Superdad is going to go sans cape. And for all you parents who have somehow avoided watching this movie, please at the very least watch the following clip. You life could depend on it:

FINAL NOTE: This story was just the tip of the iceberg in Matthew Lutz’s parenting adventures. If you want more, follow him on Facebook. If you’re completely satisfied with just the tip, Matt won’t be offended, and there’s no need to click the button to “Follow Matthew Lutz
 

MATTHEW LUTZ is an award-winning man, lover and highly decorated Origami Master (we’re talking full contact origami; none of that fold and admire nonsense). He’s a humble genius who has graced the pages of The Guinness Book of World Records for speaking in Haiku for 364 days straight; It would have been 365 days, but the judges mistook the last matt-lutzword of his final poem, “leave” as a direct command, and obeyed. He can bake 30-minute brownies in 23 minutes flat if he has to, but he prefers not to. He is a connoisseur of middle-shelf bourbons. Collector of authentic reproduction Volkswagen print advertisements from the 50’s and 60’s; when advertising “had real avocados”, as Lutz so eloquently puts it. He’s affiliated with over 87 secret societies; some of them, like the Sons of Motown, will kill you and all of your descendants just for printing their name. He lives with his much-taller wife, Alison, his 3 prodigy children, Lily, Declan and Finnegan, his perfectly-trained chihuahua, Chico, and his wife’s rescue dog of unknown decent (Egyptian Foulmouth?), Frenchy, who is the absolute worst. When he’s not breeding prize-winning sea monkeys, he can often be found admiring the classiest collection of sandglass art the world has ever known, which he also just so happens to own. He is currently crafting his highly anticipated first book, and somewhat less anticipated fourth child.
 
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How Death Transformed My Life

The world changed when my son Zain joined our family on an early morning in June 2005. And I became a different man. Or so I told myself.
Once the flurry of excitement died down, it didn’t take long before he became a burden. Diaper changes, feeding, and constant exhaustion – it was all too much. Don’t get me wrong, I loved watching him grow up and enjoyed many moments of discovery and awe, but it was hard.
Too hard. And too much.
Obviously, I didn’t share that with the people around me. From the outside, my son’s arrival was absolutely amazing, and an incredible miracle celebrated by ecstatic new parents and loving relatives. He was (and is!) still loved and cherished.
The fact was that as thrilled I was to become a father, I wasn’t ready for the commitment. I buried myself at work, and my wife was the one who took care of most of my son’s needs; except the few times I helped out and played with him.
Now, I wasn’t a complete asshole – I did try to help out and supported my wife as best I could – but what I’m talking about was what’s happening inside. I wasn’t present.
You’re waiting for the moment when I totally changed and became the best dad ever, and we lived happily ever after, right?
Keep waiting.
I was waiting for that as well for what it seemed like forever. I kept telling myself that I’d get better at this parenting thing. It’d be better when Zain learned how to talk, or maybe when he grows up a little, or maybe when I learned more about being a better parent.
I did want to be a better father. I read, I researched, I attended workshops… And then I realized one thing –this is life, not work.
This was my life. Not some job. Nothing I could prepare for, or a meeting to attend and then leave. It’s life, and it happens every day.
What the heck does that mean?
Well, you’ve heard the saying, it’s about the journey, not the destination, right? If you’re anything like I was at that time, a workaholic entrepreneur – it was all about the destination. Why else would I be busting my ass at work every day? Wasn’t the point to work hard enough so that someday so I can finally relax and enjoy the real life?!
I forgot about the journey I was on. Life.
Work harder, faster, and better doesn’t work in life, because there is only one destination in life – death.
As a much as I don’t want to ever think about it, the ultimate destination of my life, the lives of everyone around me, and even my son’s life – is death.
It’s a tragic thing to say and probably the most terrifying thought to ever cross my mind. But it’s just a fact of life, nothing can change it, and nothing I do can make it go away.
Everyone lives, and everyone dies. It’s what happens between that counts.
This realization didn’t cause me to leave my job, or go on a journey of self-discovery somewhere in Nepal. I just started doing the things I thought I had time to do “later.”
Because I now know the final destination of life is death, there is no “later” really. However we might think otherwise, we don’t actually have all the time on the world.
There is no later. Only now. And life.
This realization transformed my life and I started doing the small things that made a huge difference both in my life and the lives of the people around me:
 
1. Never leave home sad or angry
OK, there are still times I do this. But hey, I’m human, and I make sure to call or text as soon as I come to my senses.
The bottom line is I make sure that when I leave home, I leave nothing behind but love for my son, daughter, and my amazing wife. If I die, I die happy and content that my last interaction with my family is filled with love.
 
2. Stop the world for the sake of what matters most
What matters most to you? Family, love, and relationships top most people’s lists.
If we have an issue at home, I throw myself into it. I help resolve the problem as best I can, and the rest of the world can wait.
Yes, this meant there are many times I arrive late to work (and I *do* let coworkers know I’m delayed) but it’s a small price to pay compared to knowing that the last time I was with my family we made things work.
 
3. Showcase love in every way at every opportunity
Love really does make the world go ‘round, and the little things really do count. They may be clichés, but they’re true. I learned this wisdom from my little girl, Julie. She’s six and makes a big deal out of everything, and it’s so freakin beautiful you could cry.
Now I find every opportunity to celebrate the little things with a kiss, a hug, or an uplifting word.
 
4. See the bad, but focus on the great
There are many bad things in our world today. Tragedies happen daily. Scandal is everywhere. I see these things on social media, the news, and popping up in conversations. I do not ignore them or discard them, I see them and acknowledge them.
But instead I choose to focus on what is great in the world. Where there’s sadness, there are people spreading joy; where there is hurt, there are people healing; and where there is hate, there are people that share love and care.
I choose to focus on what’s great because I believe that although we can’t end sadness, hurt or eradicate hate; we have the power to spread joy, heal and love each other.
That is our power as human beings.
 
5. Take action
Since there is no “later” anymore, I started taking action and making things happen. I started writing daily – books, articles and blog posts – and working on projects I love.
Every day I moved forward toward my goals, taking bold steps at work and saying yes to initiatives that are beyond my comfort zone.
 
The results speak for themselves. I live a much happier life, a life full of the beauty of the ordinary, the joy of living the moment, and the engaged presence in the lives of those who matter most to me.
The thought of death, as terrifying as it is, and as much as I want to keep it at bay, is a little less scary now, because with every moment I live I keep falling in love with my life and the people in it.
And love is forever.
 

Hussein Hallak is a serial entrepreneur with 22+ years of startup experience in strategy, branding, marketing, and growth. Hussein started 6 successful companies, worked on projects for Fortune 500 companies and World’s Top 100 Brands, and was featured in Forbes, BBC, and Entrepreneur. 

Currently Hussein is the Director of Strategy and Marketing at 3 Tier Logic, a shopper marketing and engagement software startup out of Vancouver, BC. Hussein is also the Director of Marketing at TEDxStanleyPark, Advisor at Spirit Games Ltd, Head Instructor – Lean Entrepreneur Program at LaunchAcademy and Founder of InspirationInbox.com.

Hussein lives to inspire possibility, to enable people, to achieve the remarkable.

Connect with him through his websiteFacebookLinkedInTwitterPinterest, and Instagram 

 

Man Of The Week – Horrasias Balabyekkubo

For those of you who have attended our events in the past, you may have heard about this week’s ‘Man Of The Week’: Horrasias Balabyekkubo. Horrasias is an incredible human being with a wealth of talents ranging from a being loving father, a successful entrepreneur, a visionary philanthropist, an author and a motivational speaker, to name a few! From the age of 14, Horrasias began taking steps to plan his future, sought out mentorship from community leaders and making his dream a reality. Having lived on three continents, Horrasias has a wealth of stories that will send tingles down your spine, inspire you to find your purpose, live in integrity with it, and to help lay the foundation for future generations.

  1. Age: 32
  2. What do you do? (For work)
    Brand Ambassador and Distributor for Enagic Canada, Project Director at a Primary and Secondary School in Uganda and an Author.
  3. Why do you do it?
    I do it because it gives me the opportunity to give back in a life giving way to the current society I live in and across the globe. As a director it allows me to continue to build the vision of the school as well as set it on a higher trajectory for greater impact in the community we serve and the nation as a whole. I write because what I have found is; my sharpest weapon to dethrone mediocrity from the lives of young people and my greatest tool move this generation forward is my pen.
  4. How do you make a difference in the world? (Work, business, life, family, self)
    I make a difference in the world remaining constant, consistent and determined to see every man, woman and child meet their true self. By writing words that inspire, teaching the practical steps to attain fulfillment and speaking in motivational tones to ignite passion and determination in the hearts of my listeners. By staying open and vulnerable before the people it shows that the only way forward for any individual is to find that harmony and balance in the shared experience mankind by recognizing the heart of another human as significant as their own. With my children, it is simple, blow their mind daily with showing them anything is possible with determination and hard work and a lot of imagination. Setting them on a foundation of joy and compassion goes a long way to help them realize their true potential. At work the balance comes to me in delivering superior quality service and discipline in my own individual effort thereby shifting the culture among my colleagues to present our excellence to the market place. We set the standard high.
  5. What are 3 defining moments in your life?
    1. At 19 I realized, that at 6 years old I had known all along and I had delivered with precision the oracles of God with out fear and with reckless abandon, I knew who I was and why I was here; from that moment I was determined and walked with discipline to bring forth that same vigour and excellence to whatever I would do in my life and vowed never to forget my purpose again nor dim its light to “fit in” with the masses of men.
    2. My first trip back to my homeland after 12 years of being away was one of those defining moments in my life to set me on course to reaching and attaining my destiny. I was in college and had bought the marketing plan of North America: go to school, get the degree, get a job at a reputable organization, work 40 years, retire well. But it was landing into Entebbe Airport, seeing Lake Victoria and the vibrant colours of the soil and greenery, the red tile roofs mixed in that told me there was something more for my life. You see North America has a way of lulling one to sleep, or choosing the safety and complacency of mediocre exploits over the grand design and purpose for ones life. It was those 37 days in Uganda changed everything. From leaving my chosen field of expertise to enlisting in battle against injustice and poverty, choosing that my life would be spent in defence of the widow and the orphan, the last, the lost, the least and the nearly dead. I knew that this was the raging desire of my life, the constant purpose to carry me through the darkness and the fog. This was to be my magnum opus.
    3. When my son was born. August 25th, 2009 changed everything. It was the culminating event of my young manhood. I had dreamed of being a husband and father for so long that on that day, I was in heaven, the whole earth faded away and all at once I was one with the divine as I opened my mouth to speak the first words he would hear from his father, his defender and protector; I looked into his blue eyes and spoke, “you are my son, in whom all my life has found meaning, I will dare to embolden you to reach for your greatness, I will never leave you, I will defend you against the perils that life will bring, but most important I will love you for all time. You are born of fire, to be fire and to breed fire. A man of the horse and spear. Defender of the realm. You will arise, you will stand, you will conquer.” I sang to him the songs of my father in Luganda, and we became One soul. My Daughter was born May 24, 2011. I was speechless. my heart stopped and danced with rapture. I was now a King among men, I was now to raise these two to the light of their purpose. Life’ Song was worth dancing again. From the first, Fatherhood has been the crowning achievement of my life. Everything else is noise.
  6. What is your life purpose?
    My life’s purpose is to inspire young men and young women to live at their optimum level of impact. Teaching them to marshall their faculties to achieve their chief aim and ultimate purpose in life. To build an army of like minded individuals who want to build great and thriving communities so the generations to come will be living in balance, moving with clock work precision towards maximum impact, disciplined in thought, excellent in conduct, noble in deeds.
  7. How did you tap into it?
    I went back to Uganda when I was 21 and it was on the mountains of Rwanda that I got the spark and it was in the valley of Tyler, Texas where the blueprint was found. I then spent the next 11 years learning, tweaking, and masterminding the plan that will culminate in Operation Trailblazer Dec 31,2015. It took going back to my roots, going off the beaten track and off what I thought my purpose was, questioning what was handed to me as my chief aim by my family, friends and teachers, that I was able to see the signs, the writing on the wall and the omens that would guide me to my greatest treasure.
  8. Who is your Role-Model or Mentor?
    My greatest role model is my father, John Deogratias Balabyekkubo, a Son, Brother, Father, Husband, Friend, Activist, Pioneer, Author, Musician, Playwright, Disciple, Apostle, Preacher, Missionary,Philanthropist, Leader, Visionary, Luminary, Revolutionary, Maverick, the list is endless. He is my father, my friend, confidant and constant north. Defender of my dreams, preserver of my virtue, he is my best example of what a man looks like and what a father loves like, what a husband acts like, what INTEGRITY sounds, tastes, feels, looks, smells like. Oh and he was the sharpest dressed man I have ever seen. He loved God and he served his people.
  9. Do you have any daily habits? If so, what are they?
    Daily Method of Operation is crucial to attain your best from yourself. It demands discipline to achieve any success in any venture. Even if the venture is relaxing, you must do it in a disciplined way so you can maximize the benefit of it. For me that means Reading two hours a day, then studying or mastering your craft gets an hour and a half daily; Physical exercise gets an hour and fifteen minutes, then work on your necessary projects such as income generating activities, networking and building relationships. The bulk of my time however is spent in fostering the seeds of excellence and epic-ness in the imaginations of my two glorious children.
  10. When do you know your work/life balance is off?
    I know my life and work balance is off when it starts to feel like there is not enough time to do the “joy” activities. You get so excited sometimes about a particular project that you begin to get consumed by its manifestation. Which often relegates the important things to the side for the time being, now don’t get me wrong there are seasons when you have to put priority and importance on said projects but for me I always try to include my two top priorities in whatever I do so I never neglect preserving the wonder in their lives. So the moment I am to “IN” to a certain project that I have to say no to any of the requests I normally would gladly do with the Royals. I stop and reassess the plan and rectify it, because they are never going to feel second to any mission, person, or goal. It’s all for them.
  11. Vulnerability is a challenge for most men – share a vulnerable moment from your life with us.
    Vulnerability is the wellspring of creative growth. I truly believe that when you lay bare your heart and soul you can look at and live your life in front of you. I was honoured and blessed to be apart of a ManTalks event that was based on mentors and fatherhood. I was blessed to share the stage with great men and even more humbled to hear their stories. I spoke on my father’s influence on my life and the way I parent my children; as I was speaking I felt this great opening in my heart to really love the people present there in the room, to really show them that I was a man who was unafraid of discussing life, liberty and the pursuit of epic-ness. I spoke about wounds that I have thought had healed and fresh scars from recent events that have sought to un-man me. The experience was exhilarating and educational both for the audience and myself. I felt as if I had let the world see me for the first time unafraid to be seen.
  12. What did you learn from it?
    I learnt All my life, after my father’s death I have sought to lead a life of polish and poise; but it was this unmasking in front of two hundred plus new friends that helped me see that I could be free to lead my life to the full again. It taught me to go with ‘Plan A’ every time, show your fullness. I am going to quote a t.v show Friday Night Lights, the football team had the team mantra: “clear eyes, full hearts, can’t lose.”
  13. If you are or were going to be a mentor for another man, what is one piece of advice you would give him?
    If I were to mentor any man; I would simply tell him “find the honesty within you again. Look inside and be really real with yourself, pull back every layer, peak into every crevice and find your humanity, what makes you authentic is not just being sincere, its being truthful about your motives, intents, and core value. So it is vital you know what they are and how to deliver them into the market place of ideas and life.” Teachability says, I may know it already but there may be another way to do it. Let me seek it out. Learn, Learn, Learn, then Implement the knowledge.
  14. How do you be the best partner (Boyfriend/Husband- past or present)
    The key to being the best partner is simple; be willing. Willing to learn from each other, Willing to hold your partner at their absolute worst and celebrate them at their best even when you don’t “feel” like it. Willing to communicate your needs in a way that can actually get the result or desired end you have in mind. Be willing to Love for loving’s sake; not for a pat on the back, or to get something, just simply to Love your partner in a way that would inspire them to rise to their greatest self. Be willing to show yourself at any given moment to reassure your partner that they have free access to your heart especially when you want to close off and run. Be willing to admit wrong, be willing to be still and listen, be willing to grow. Be willing to show up consistently.
  15. Do you support any Charities or Not-for-profits? (Which one(s) and why?)
    I work with Bavubuka Foundation and Cleft of the Rock Foundation which use the arts, education and social entrepreneurship to impact various communities in Uganda and in the diaspora. Working with youth to influence their communities at large. The reason for my continued involvement is I believe in equipping the next generation to step into the halls of power fully armed with reason, a sense of equality and justice for all as well as the self discipline and governance within that will keep them on the path of high moral values, integrity and service to the communities they work in.
  16. If your life had a theme song, what would it be?
    Like a Rock, Bob Seger
  17. Where do you see yourself in 3 years?
    Three years from now I will be finishing phase one of Operation Trailblazer, I will be based out of Uganda, East Africa, building infrastructure projects in rural areas. I will be leading two thousand young people and developing training schools and other entrepreneurial pursuits to bolster the robust plan in phase two . Also at that time I will be balancing out all that legendary stuff at my farm at Kilindi, Uganda as a gentleman farmer.
  18. What legacy do you want to leave for future generations?
    Love, Loyalty, Legacy. These three principles are at the core of my being and my compass home. The Legacy I want to leave for future generations is Love God, Love his people. We are all human, we are all endowed by our creator with greatness. If we serve one another and help one another on the path to our greatness we will surely get to that desired better world we have all been taught about all our lives but have never seen. I want to go there with you. Therefore it is left to us in this generation to lay the ground work afresh with fresh zeal and purpose, so that our children and their children would benefit greatly from our sacrifices. I love people. Love them. Understanding that it is this gift of loving others that frees you up to attain self actualization, to reach fulfilment is power beyond measure. the Legacy is to ensure that every man woman and child can dream and realize that dream whilst they have breath in their lungs; life, liberty and the pursuit of epic-ness is our charge. Dare to dream and allow others to benefit from its goodness.
  19. What One book would you recommend for any Man?
    The Book of Proverbs

If you know a Man that is making a positive impact on the world, we would love to hear from you! Contact us at [email protected]

Role Models And Mentors: Why Are They So Important?

I believe there are many role models in the world but very few Mentors. A role model can be anyone you look up to, whose behaviors you might imitate. A mentor is a person with experience who acts as a guide for you.
We are shown examples of role models in the media constantly. Some are good, and others are not. Often the media highlights examples of role models when they are in the middle of some personal crisis or meltdown.
The problem is, human beings are sponges! Even if a role model behaves badly, there will be people who imitate and copy that behaviour, especially when those behaviours get a lot of media attention. That’s the reason media does not publicize suicides, or at least, shouldn’t, cause whenever there’s a high profile suicide, suicide rates will go up.
As adults, most of us can differentiate good behavior from bad. In fact, bad role models can demonstrate what not to do! And we can learn from their mistakes.
However, role models have a bigger influence over children and young people. Young people will often focus on the attention the negative behaviour attracts and may act out in similar ways for that reason. That is why the more publicity certain acts of violence or crime receive, such as high school shooting sprees, it’s very likely similar events will occur in other areas in the country or around the world.
I believe that if you are a parent you automatically become a role model for your children. Even if you are an absent parent, you will be shaping the views and beliefs of the child you have left behind and how they relate to people and the world. That’s not a judgment, just a fact.
As the father of a little girl, I am very cognizant of the fact that one day my daughter will most likely become romantically involved with someone very similar to me. She’ll also model her future relationships around the behaviour she observes in my current relationship.
The good news is, if I play my cards right, I won’t have to worry about the first guy she brings home (hopefully!)
As a parent, it’s my goal to become a mentor to my child. I hope to one day be able to share the accumulated knowledge from my life to help her avoid certain pitfalls.
Of course, I’m not so naïve to think that my daughter won’t make “mistakes.” But as long as I’m alive I’ll be there to help and support her when things don’t work out, like that first boyfriend!
And the one thing I’m sure of that I will always provide her with the unconditional love that only a father can give.
Having a mentor can help you reach higher levels of success. A great mentor will be there when your confidence is shaken or when you fall flat on your face! A mentor can prevent you from getting too far off course and get you back on track.
In a world where a Role Model might be a PGA Champion one day and then crash his Cadillac SUV into a tree while driving drunk the next (allegedly), having a mentor is a better bet. So be sure to hang on to that great mentor and to respect and honour that relationship.
Never take it lightly or for granted if you are lucky enough to have someone take you under their wing to help guide you through this life. And if you don’t have a mentor, make it a must to get one.
 
Andy ZarembaAndy Zaremba is the Co-host of the Vancouver Real podcast and the Co-founder/ owner of Float House (Vancouver’s first Float centre in over 20 years).
No matter which realm he’s playing in, he strives to be the best man he can possibly be, bringing his greatest efforts forth to his family, friends, & community. His precious daughter, Ella Faith, is truly a gift & continues to be a significant inspiration & strength in his life.
Andy has a fascination for learning & a deep passion for personal growth whether it be through books, courses, public speaking, podcasts, floating, & the like. He believes that growth is infinite & stagnation does not exist; the journey is purely about expansion & living fully with excellence regardless of the “imperfections”.

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