Mike Abramowitz is our newest Man Of The Week for his incredible journey in unlocking potential and impacting the lives of hundreds he’s worked with. Today Mike is a District Executive for Vector Marketing and the Founder of G.R.A.B. Tomorrow, which is a life skills development agency for young professionals in the greater Pinellas County area. Since earning his bachelors degree in industrial engineering with a minor in leadership studies from the University of South Florida in 2008, Mike has made a career in helping young professionals open their mindsets to what’s possible when they fully commit to creating a strong foundation for their lives outside of the classroom. Mike has a passion for providing tools, skills, and unlocking potential that’s buried under socio-economic conditions & circumstances, lack of coaching, and fears that aspiring leaders face. He influences his students to understand that “Someday is NOW” and gives strategies to take immediate action and G.R.A.B. tomorrow (Grow, Re-evaluate, Appreciate, Believe).
Age: 31
What do you do? (Work)
I am a District Executive for Vector Marketing and Cutco Cutlery, founder of PB&J for Tampa Bay, which is an effort to feed 25,000 homeless people this year in the Tampa Bay area, and the founder of The G.R.A.B. Community, which is a community where young professionals develop life skills and take control of their lives outside of the classroom in order to GRAB Tomorrow.
Why do you do it?
I have a passion for providing tools, skills, and unlocking potential that’s buried under socio-economic conditions and circumstances, lack of coaching, and fears that aspiring leaders face. Ive been blessed with abilities that others around me are still searching for. I help them find it.
How do you make a difference in the world? (Work, business, life, family, self)
Since earning my bachelor’s degree in industrial engineering with a minor in leadership studies from the University of South Florida in 2008, I have made a career in helping young professionals open their mindsets to what’s possible when they fully commit to creating a strong foundation for their lives. I’ve trained and coached 4000+ young professionals to be entrepreneurs and sales representatives. I’ve interviewed 10,000+ applicants. As a keynote speaker, I have influenced 20,000+ audience members inside and outside of the classroom through 300+ hours of speaking. Through PB&J for Tampa Bay, we have provided 25,000+ meals to those less fortunate.
What are 3 defining moments in your life?
– Witnessing my mother battle with cancer for 4 years and seeing her be strong and weak at the same time. This unlocked an inner strength in myself that I never knew existed.
– Losing my best friend in a fatal car crash when we were both 27 years old because it gave me such an appreciation for living a life versus just being alive.
– Losing my my investment properties and $130,000 during the market collapse and realizing that my self-worth is not tied to my net-worth.
What is your life purpose?
To help those around me unlock their potential, appreciate life, and not be victims to their circumstances regardless of how much adversity that they experience. The best success stories had some of the toughest challenges. To help people move past their past and into a future filled with opportunity, possibility, gratitude, and excitement.
How did you tap into it?
By surrounding myself around people who care enough about me to challenge my patterns, thoughts, and habits in order to prove to myself what my life could look like through a different lens. My potential was buried and those around me helped me unlock it, including perspectives from books and seminars from people that I have never met personally.
Who is your Role-Model or Mentor?
– Mom for her strength and love
– Dad for his kind heart to strangers and ambition
– Michael Jordan for his work ethic and determination through challenges
– Tony Robbins for his wisdom and principles he lives his life by
– Matt King for his constant support, encouragement, and perspectives
Do you have any daily habits? If so, what are they?
A friend of mine, Hal Elrod from the Miracle Morning Community, introduced me to a philosophy called SAVERS, which has been a game changer for the past decade of my life. When I am at my best, I begin my day with the following:
S – Silence/Meditation/Deep Breathing
A – Affirmations/Incantations
V – Vision Board
E – Exercise/Yoga/Stretching/Foam Rolling
R – Read
S – Scribe/Journal through my thoughts/emotions and plans for that day
By giving myself clarity and intention for my day, it allows me to stay present and focused throughout my day.
When do you know your work/life balance is off?
My work/life balance is always off. I do not desire balance in my life. I desire CANI – (Constant And Never-ending Improvement) Balance to me is having an equal distribution of my time dedicated to certain areas. A great book by Matthew Kelly titled Off-Balance helped me become aware of being present with my life and invest time into the people, places, things, and activities that are in alignment with driving long term satisfaction and happiness. So, the key is being present. When I feel like I am distracted or not present, I will grab my journal and answer the following questions:
– How do I feel?
– Why do I feel this way?
– How do I want to feel?
– What actions can I take to feel this way?
– Then I take some deep breaths and get back to being present. I choose to control my emotions when I become aware that I am not fully engaged in my life.
Vulnerability is a challenge for most men – share a vulnerable moment from your life with us.
After my mother passed away, my dad and I took a trip to Hawaii to get quality time together and really connect. My expectation going into the trip was to help him understand the tension that has been built amongst some family members about him having a girlfriend only 3 months after his wife (my mother) died. A lot of animosity and discomfort to say the least. So, my goal was to create some level of resolve and keep the family together.
After a first attempt of bringing this to his attention, I was shut down. He had a shield over his emotions and would not let me in. He reacted as if he didn’t care about what others thought and he needed to focus on his sanity, not others. He began to push me away, as if he didn’t need me in his life either. At 21 years old, of course this would hurt anyone, but tapping into a very vulnerable place, I made an important point to my dad that would hurt him and elevate our relationship at the same time.
“I need you to be mom and dad right now.” — unsure of where these words came from, but they poured out of my mouth. “Im not ready to bury my mother, but I had to. You’re not prepared to be both parents, but I am asking you to. I need you now more than ever. I need your encouragement, your emotional support, and your love. Do not push me away.” — as tears pour down my cheeks.
Although my dad did not receive my request initially, he understood that I was not coming from a place of anger towards him, but from a position of pain, suffering, and trauma. By him seeing and hearing that I needed him, truly below the surface of conscious emotion, I unlocked the beginning of a relationship with my dad that continues to flourish. He is my best friend.
What did you learn from it?
I learned that no matter how painful it is to risk vulnerability by sharing my feelings with someone else, it will always benefit me. If I don’t communicate my feelings, I might be chasing after something that can never satisfy me. If my dad neglected or rejected me, I would still need to survive without him and I would not invest my energy into an unwanted space. By communicating, I can begin to create resolve and build a new, stronger relationship moving forward.
If you are or were going to be a mentor for another man, what is one piece of advice you would give him?
Live with purpose and gratitude. Stay focused on what truly brings you passion or aggressively find that and appreciate that journey and the people on it with you.
How do you be the best partner (Boyfriend/Husband- past or present)
– Admit when I am wrong.
– Apologize when I simply react instead of giving a thought out response.
– Know her Love Language and satisfy that need whenever I see fit. It will be one of the following: words, touch, time, service, gifts. My girlfriend’s is words, so I consciously give text messages, leave notes, give compliments, give praise, and appreciate her whenever I can. Not because I am supposed to and not to manipulate, just simply to make sure she receives love the way she desires to.
– Cuddling.
– Putting the phone away when we are together.
– Ask her about her day before telling about mine.
– Actively Listen.
Do you support any Charities or Not-for-profits? (Which one(s) and why?)
“PB&J for Tampa Bay” is an effort to feed 25,000 homeless people this year in the Tampa Bay area. We recognize that those less fortunate, who find themselves upon hard times, should never be overlooked or given up on. Life is unpredictable and at any moment the tragedy of an unforeseen circumstance or disaster could leave even the most stable person in a similar situation.
If your life had a theme song, what would it be?
Miley Cyrus – The Climb
Where do you see yourself in 3 years?
Physical – Best shape of my life at 185 pounds, able to do 10 pull ups, 50 push ups, and eliminate my back pain
Financial – 20 streams of income
Career – 10+ books released, international speaker, running a thriving business in the Hall of Fame with my company
Contribution – Expand PB&J for Tampa Bay to USA and have 100+ locations nationwide feeding 600,000+ per year
Mental – read 50+ more books
Adventure – traveled to a few of my dream locations, including an African Safari, South American Jungle Waterfall tour, sky dive (anywhere), ski Whistler
Relationships – married and having my first born, hosted a family reunion, have a dog
What legacy do you want to leave for future generations?
I want people to be “good-finders” in themselves and in those around them. Everyone deserves to feel good.
In an unjust situation, I want someone to find their inner patience and acceptance. In a thriving situation, I want someone to share with others and spread those vibes. The pay-it-forward concept will eventually catch up to the local community, into the city, into the state, into the country, and then the world … one person at a time.
What One book would you recommend for any Man?
Daring Greatly by Brene Brown
If you know a Man that is making a positive impact on the world, we would love to hear from you! Contact us at [email protected]
change
Man Of The Week – David Veshkini
David Veshkini may be shy, but boy is he a man who is dedicated to his community! He works for vsttawa Victim Services & in partnership with the Victim Crisis Unit at the Ottawa Police Services. Where he supports crime victims in particular females impacted by gender-based violence. His passion for working & helping drives his efforts in positively impacting those around him. It should come as no surprise that he is extremely involved in volunteering where he supports METRAC (violence prevention non-for-profit) & OCTEVAW’s Manifest Change program, which speaks to men about toxic masculinity, sexual violence, and bystander intervention. He has been fortunate enough to help shape conversation at conferences/panels around how all men have a part to play in the prevention of violence against women. In spite of this, David felt there was more he could do and most recently started a solidarity movement called WeCanBeBetter. He believes the movement has potential to empower & educate men to not only stand against gender-based violence but also begin to think about how they can impact their communities positively to address gender issues impacting women. David gets real vulnerable in our interview and we are honoured to have him as our newest Man Of The Week. Read on and check out the incredible work he is doing, you will definitely walk away feeling inspired!
Age – 27
What do you do? (Work)
Currently, I’m the Case Manager at Ottawa Victim Services: a community-based organization that provides emotional/practical intervention to victims of crime. Our organization is fortunate to be in partnership with the Ottawa Police Victim Crisis Unit to make sure all victims in our community receive the proper support they need & deserve. I get to work with some incredible women day-in and day-out.
More recently, I started a campaign called WeCanBeBetter. An Ottawa-based solidarity movement for achieving gender equality. Its goal is to empower and encourage men/boys to become agents of change for ending violence against women and gender-based violence.
Why do you do it?
I truly love working within a field centered upon a duty-to-care & helping others. My work with OVS puts me in an extremely privileged position where I’m trusted with entering people’s lives when they’ve fallen on hard times. It’s special speaking to so many people from different walks of life, as well as being witness to their resiliency. It reminds me to continuously reflect on my own life and privilege.
The WeCanBeBetter campaign is a more upstream/preventative approach to what I do. Unfortunately, almost every day in my personal/professional life I read, hear, and talk to predominantly women who have experienced some form of gendered-based sexual, physical, or emotional violence. The campaign allows me to not only see what I can do to help survivors, but also play a role in creating awareness and preventing VAW & GBV.
How do you make a difference in the world? (Work, business, life, family, self)
Work allows me to make an impact on people’s lives in the aftermath of a tragic and unexpected incidence. I also enjoy doing community-based work, engagement, and outreach. I’ve been fortunate enough to aid in campaigns, projects, research, and committees that address and raise awareness about important issues like Gender Equality on Campus, Racism, Police/LBGTQ relations, Violence Prevention, and Homelessness.
Equally, I think the WeCanBeBetter Campaign may one day reach a place where it impacts lives in my community. WCBB is grounded in the idea that the longer men remain apathetic to the issue, the longer we comprise the gendered futures of our society, institutions, and relationships. I’m not sure when, how, and where the campaign will go or what it might become, but I’m not scared of it failing. Instead, I’d be more disappointed if I never tried.
What are 3 defining moments in your life?
– At thirteen, I was diagnosed with Gillian-Barrie Syndrome. A rapid-onset of muscle weakness that damages your nervous system causing paralysis from the waist-down. Following treatment, the recovery took months: learning how to stand, walk, and run again was an incredibly humbling experience. However, it allowed me to expand the definition of myself and my ability to persevere through life’s challenges.
– At twenty-one, my long-term girlfriend and I split up. It was my fault. I realized I had to change. I promised I’d become less stubborn, grow emotionally, & continuously reflect on how to be the best partner I could be.
– Last year, my father passed. He played a limited role throughout my life, which made me think about what type of father I’d want to be if I ever got the chance. I vowed I’d do better than him & unconditionally support, care and continuously reassure my own children that I’d always be there for them.
What is your life purpose?
Deciding to do research, work, and volunteer within the field of prevention and awareness of violence against women is ultimately centered upon lending my gender-privilege. That means using my voice & actions to speak to other men about how important it is to stand up to sexism, misogyny, and violence as well as reframe VAW as more than a women’s issue.
How did you tap into it?
At first, accessing predominantly female-centered spaces and organizations seemed difficult. I remember thinking: “what if I say the wrong thing” or “I don’t know how to help.” So I began by listening. Listening to the challenges women face socially, politically, and vocationally by virtue of their gender. Eventually, I knew that silence and inaction was the real problem. I knew this was a human rights issue and wanted to dedicate my life to helping this cause.
Who is your Role Model or Mentor?
Growing up role models were hard to come by. Later in life, my brothers (Ali & Bobby) became who I looked up to. I hope one day I can become half the men they’re!
Do you have any daily habits? If so, what are they?
I love eating candy & drinking coffee! And Wine!
When do you know your work/life balance is off?
Sometimes, when your job and passion overlap, it becomes difficult to maintain a good work/life balance. I think I can start to tell that my work/life balance is off when I’m not calling my mom!
Vulnerability is a challenge for most men – share a vulnerable moment from your life with us.
I didn’t come from a family or culture where vulnerability was particularly tolerated or understood. To be honest, until this day I continue to struggle with vulnerability in my personal life. It’s ironic given the work I do. Sometimes in my personal life, I pretend to be vulnerable, so my family or friends believe I’m open because if I were to be totally truthful, I’m worried how they would react. I know I need to grow in my ability to be all in, risk heartbreak, ask for help, and be unapologetic about failure. So let’s just say I’m working on it!
What did you learn from it?
Every time I’m vulnerable, as men I learn that it’s okay to be hurt & those who love me unconditionally will be there for me.
If you are or were going to be a mentor for another man, what is one piece of advice you would give him?
Don’t get caught up trying to impress anyone with your wealth, power, or success. Great men are known for their heart & what they’ve done for others.
Do you support any charities or Not-for-profits? (which one(s) and why?)
For a few years now, I’ve been volunteering for METRAC, a non-for-profit violence prevention organization which does work on reducing campus sexual violence. More recently, I’ve been a part of OCTEVAW’s MANifest Change. A program that talks to men/boys about masculinity, sexual violence myths, and bystander intervention in schools/detention centers.
Where do you see yourself in 3 years?
Hopefully grow WeCanBeBetter into something that makes a difference. I’d love to get a community of men to stand together to create a bold and viable presence in Ottawa for achieving gender equality.
What legacy do you want to leave for future generations?
I hope I’m seen absent of any titles or positions I might hold in the future. Instead, I hope I’m remembered for what I was able to accomplish while helping others. Saying I’ve done something meaningful, that’s what matters to me. I’d too love to know I contributed, however small, to a world where my baby niece grows up feeling safe & comfortable doing whatever she chooses, unhindered by gender norms.
What One book would you recommend for any Man?
‘Infidel’ by Ayaan Hirsi Ali
If you know a Man that is making a positive impact on the world, we would love to hear from you! Contact us at [email protected]
Man Of The Week – Zach Marcy
Zachary Marcy, also known as Coach Z, is a Mind and Body Transformation Coach based out of Miami. His entire life he has been fascinated by physical fitness and psychology, and the relationship between the two. It wasn’t too long before Coach Z begun tirelessly working and investing over two decades of time and money into education on the mind and body, Coach Z has created a program that is a hybrid of life coaching, nutrition coaching and physical coaching practice, called Synergize Fitness. His passion is rooted in being able to help inspire others to transform their lives to one they can be proud of, but he keeps them all grounded with the gentle reminder that the journey of transformation is not a short one, but a life-long one that takes commitment and dedication day in, day out. From the moment you meet Coach Z, his hunger to have a positive impact on everybody around him is apparent from the way he talks to the passionate miniature rants (often referred to as Reverend Zach) he goes on when there is room for growth.
Coach Z, along with two others, will be speaking about ‘Overcoming Adversity’ at the very first ManTalks Miami event on Monday, August 29th. You can expect to hear moving stories from individuals who suffered from low self-esteem and the manner in which they tackled this head on to emerge victorious and successful.
Topic: Overcoming Adversity
Date: Monday, August 29 6:30pm (Doors open) 7:00pm (Event begins)
Location: Ariete Restaurant, 3540 Main Hwy, Coconut Grove
Note: the restaurant is being used as our event space and will not be serving food or drinks this evening.
Tickets: $30 – early bird and $40 regular**
Age: 40
What do you do? (Work)
I am a Mind and Body Transformation Coach
Why do you do it?
I chose this line of work because I can make a living doing what I love. I have drawn upon all of my life experiences and developed a unique model for success that is literally changing the lives of everyday people. There is no better feeling in the entire world. My model for success is creating a world wide Transformation Revolution making the world a better place.
How do you make a difference in the world? (Work, business, life, family, self)
I am bringing new inspiration to people who had given up on finding their way into a lifestyle of a healthy mind and a healthy body.
What are 3 defining moments in your life?
– On each day my two children entered this world I felt a huge combination of gratitude and responsibility. Each birth was a defining moment for me, because all of my motivation transferred from self-interest to their interest.
– The third defining moment was the day I realized every hardship I’ve ever been through is actually a blessing. I changed my own story by simply repositioning the narrative. My story is one of being sexually abused around six years old to be my tale of triumph.
What is your life purpose?
My life purpose is to inspire others to experience a healthly mind and body transformation. Transformation, as I define it, is the constant and never ending pursuit of being the best version of yourself everyday for the rest of your life. This pursuit includes every aspect of life: personal, professional, physical and psychological.
How did you tap into it?
I found my purpose when I realized I had the power to bring the kind of positive changes to other people’s lives that I have had in my own life. I educated myself in the best ways to connect with others, and I found joy in teaching and coaching about the things I’ve learned.
Originally, I wanted to become a psychologist, but I knew the formal school setting wasn’t for me. Nevertheless, I branched into a field of psychologically called Neuro-Linguistic Programming, and I taught seminars to others on how to practice it. At the same time, I also became a bodybuilder. Once I blended all of my fields of study together, I realized how powerful the combination of the mind and the boy was. I saw how people were getting lasting and permanent change in their lives.
Who is your Role-Model or Mentor?
My father is my mentor as well as my clients who I learn as much from as they learn from me.
Do you have any daily habits? If so, what are they?
This is a quick summary of my daily routine:
Morning MAVIM: Meditation, Attitude of Gratitude, Visualization, Intention and Movement
Mid-Day Mindfulness: I check-in with myself every three hours when my alarms go off to see if I’m on schedule, acting from my highest self and living out my day’s intention.
Evening MALP: Meditation, Attitude of Gratitude, Lessons I learned and Plan the next days MAVIM
When do you know your work/life balance is off?
I know something is off when I feel tired waking up. I generally have so much energy and plan out my time so well that if I’m feeling a bit off everything gets restructured. My personal success depends on me being a high performer in life.
Vulnerability is a challenge for most men – share a vulnerable moment from your life with us.
At around six years of age, my parents brought a few foster children into our home who had been removed from an abusive environment. One of the children proceeded to mimic the abusive behavior with me that he had experienced at the hands of his abuser. Although I reported it to my parents, after a few weeks of abuse a lot of life altering patterns in my life started to appear. I had moments of guilt, questioning my sexuality, homophobia, depression, anger issues, self confidence problems, bouts of misusing bodybuilding drugs and alcohol and food abuse, plus many failed relationships with women.
What did you learn from it?
I learned that you are not your problems and that you can either define your story to serve you or enslave you.
If you are or were going to be a mentor for another man, what is one piece of advice you would give him?
I would tell him that vulnerability and power do not contradict each other; in fact, they are directly tied together. You will only ever be as powerful as your biggest short comings and your willingness to face them without excuse.
How do you be the best partner (Boyfriend/Husband- past or present)
I put as much time and effort into improving my relationship with my wife as I do on my own personal development and my business.
Do you support any Charities or Not-for-profits? (Which one(s) and why?)
I support any program for our United States Veterans because I know their service allows me to reach my full potential each day.
If your life had a theme song, what would it be?
Cliché’ song… Jump by Van Halen
Actual song… It Was All A Dream by Jay-Z
Where do you see yourself in 3 years?
In three years, I envision myself running a large international business helping people around the world accept Transformation as a way of life. I’ll be speaking at large conventions, I’ll have written two best selling books written and I’ll be presenting programs online to help people achieve the best versions of themselves.
What legacy do you want to leave for future generations?
I want my legacy to be that I helped the world to understand that in order to be a whole human being that reaches his full potential, you must work on yourself everyday for the rest of your life personally, professionally, physically and psychologically.
What One book would you recommend for any Man?
I would recommend Way of the Superior Man, but the book that really changed my life was The Alchemist by Paulo Cohelo
If you know a Man that is making a positive impact on the world, we would love to hear from you! Contact us at [email protected]
Man Of The Week – James Butler
This week we get to feature a Man who’s story and journey so far is so rich and powerful that it will send a tingle down your spine! Our Man Of The Week is a champion and mindset coach who acts as a catalyst of change in the lives of others. James Butler was a man who dedicated his life to his career, the Canadian Forces, until a life-changing experience forced him to rethink his life, career and relationships. A true believer of human potential, so it’s no surprise today he is a Head Mindset Coach at Peak Objectives, where he empowers high-performing leaders to better serve their surrounding communities and beyond. A young and accomplished young Man, James opens up and shares vulnerable and moving stories from his past in this week’s edition of Man Of The Week.
Age: 27
What do you do? (Work)
I am the champion’s coach. What does this mean? I am the catalyst of change – the ripple in high-performing leaders’ lives helping them champion their cause to make powerful impact in their companies and communities.
Why do you do it?
I was a man dedicated to my career, family and future. But not long ago, I lost everything. A life-threatening injury and the results left me without my career, partner or physical health. I was at a cross-road: slip into a bottomless abyss or build a life from scratch. I chose the latter and dedicated myself to moving leaders forward – and helping humans realize their true potential.
How do you make a difference in the world? (Work, business, life, family, self)
There are three main ways I make a difference. In my private practice, I help leaders center their personal power and better serve the world. In my wider business community, I train world-class coaches in an intensive program out of Seattle, called Accomplishment Coaching. In my personal life, I put service at the forefront: by volunteering and public speaking, I support initiatives to build stronger, happier communities.
What are three defining moments in your life?
– My first defining moment exploded from nowhere. In 2010, while trudging through an endless Afghani grape field – it was my job to walk ahead of patrolling Canadian Forces troops and clear explosive devices from roads, pathways and buildings – a member of the supporting Afghan National Army stepped on an improvised explosive device (IED), just 15 feet from where I stood. Time crawled like a slow-motion video and I wondered if I were still alive. As the ringing throbbed in my ears, my senses quickly returned. I immediately yelled for everyone to stop and stay still. In war, if there’s one bomb, there are always more. While rockets fired at us, my fellow soldiers stood stalk-still as I examined the ground at their feet; we had stumbled upon an IED ‘minefield.’ Over the next four hours, in 58-degree-Celius heat, I became an artist, locating and clearing bombs with a paintbrush and my fingers. On that day alone, I personally cleared five IEDs that would’ve killed us all. On that day, I learned the true potential of the human mind and our power to overcome anything.
– My next defining moment came from another rather uncomfortable predicament. I’d returned from Afghanistan and had been training for five-years to become a prestigious, sought-after bomb-clearance diver. Essentially, a highly-specialized professional diver who dismantles bombs under the sea – a tradition dating back to WW1. After years of grueling training, I had finally arrived at my ‘dream job.’ Unfortunately, during an advanced course, I suffered catastrophic failure of my left lung, while deeper under the ocean than most have ever gone. I awoke hospitalized, with a chest full of tubes and significant internal bleeding. The doctors didn’t think I would make it and suggested I make peace with my family. Obviously, I pulled through. But on the other side of the scalpel was a long road to recovery: I’d lost 65lbs, had a chest riddled with holes and was unable to walk. This was the wake-up call I needed. This injury was my catalyst to create a life of service – and a company that helps high-performing individuals reach their apex, without having to experience the hardships I’ve faced.
– As I continued my recovery, and embraced my new career path, I discovered the joy of a true client breakthrough. We’d been working together for three months. This client had a really successful life and career. He just wanted to brush-up his skills, develop new insight and perhaps embark on the road to retirement. But one day, we had a phone call and he unlocked something in himself that had always been there, but which he didn’t know how to access. Our call was powered by energy and emotion, but I thought maybe it was just temporary. But, over the next few weeks, he completely reinvented himself. Instead of retiring, he transitioned to a new career and powerfully claimed the life that had eluded him for more than 60 years. I learned that in a simple, yet powerful moment – at any moment – we have the power to change our lives. And I’ve learned to live in perpetual awe of how amazing life can truly be.
What is your life purpose?
My life’s purpose is to be the conduit for human potential. And, as a result, foster a culture of growth and love not greed and fear.
How did you tap into it?
Every great coach has a coach; by delving into my own ‘self’ with my coach, I’m consistently reconnecting with my life’s purpose.
Who is your Role-Model or Mentor?
Rich Litvin, a high-performing LA-based coach. This man coaches with heart-centered power. He’s impacting world leaders and revolutionizing the coaching industry. Power over Profit!
Do you have any daily habits? If so, what are they?
I strictly adhered to a morning ritual, which includes meditating, affirming and visualizing the life I want, as well as exercising, reading and writing. Check out the Miracle Morning for a strong example of what this looks like.
When do you know your work/life balance is off?
I know my balance is off if I’m struggling to connect with my tribe – and am so focused on my clients I forget to look after my own well-being. When this occasionally happens, I dial it back and schedule more time for myself and the people I love.
Vulnerability is a challenge for most men – share a vulnerable moment from your life with us.
I was recently gave a keynote to the University of Minnesota’s Division 1 football team. As I was presenting to 200 of the biggest, best athletes the school could recruit to their top-tier organization, a player asked what inspired me to believe in the impossible. I told him, almost regretting my vulnerability as the words escaped my mouth, that I’d had a reading disability my entire life – and the day I stopped using that as a crutch and began searching for solutions, my life changed. Confessing to 200 professional athletes that I’d always had trouble reading was… crazy! But, my vulnerability – this defining moment – had an incredible result: it humanized me and created a safe space for valuable conversations. (And, since you’re wondering, I have a rare visual disability that makes words dance on the page.)
What did you learn from it?
We all have a story, a ‘dirty little secret,’ we don’t want others to find out about us, because fears tells us our secret will sink us. I learned that’s simply not true.
If you are or were going to be a mentor for another man, what is one piece of advice you would give him?
Don’t be a dick. You can have money, power and all the influence in the world… But if you’re a dick, all the money in the world can’t save you from yourself.
How do you be the best partner (boyfriend/husband – past or present)
When you’re in a relationship with the right person, for the right reasons, it’s a lot easier to put your best foot forward. I’m in a relationship that a) supports me in my life goals and b) allows me to express love, joy, admiration and companionship. If you’re in a relationship for the right reasons, you can, for the most part, be the right partner. Oh and that whole not-being-a-dick thing… Kindness and mutual respect win every time in my books.
Do you support any charities or not-for-profits? (Which one(s) – and why?)
The main non-profit I support now is Lifetime Networks – an organization partnering positive influencers with members of the disabled community. Almost like a Big-Brothers-and Big-Sisters for people with disabilities. This non-profit helps disabled people continue adventuring, exploring and living a vibrant life, despite their physical and mental limitations. In a materialistic world that glorifies the pursuit of ‘more,’ working with this incredible group of people helps me live in the moment, stay humble, laugh often and never forgot to help those in need. One day, I may find myself in need too and would be thankful for people willing to step up.
If your life had a theme song, what would it be?
‘Lean on’ by Major Lazer – “it hits me just right”
Where do you see yourself in 3 years?
I see myself on a stage in front of tens-of- thousands of people, creating a movement of champions.
What legacy do you want to leave for future generations?
That this world can work for everyone. We can all have a life of joy, peace and abundance while taking care of others.
What One book would you recommend for any Man?
The Motivation Manifesto, by Brendon Bruchard.
If you know a Man that is making a positive impact on the world, we would love to hear from you! Contact us at [email protected]
Man Of The Week – Louka Parry
Nelson Mandela once said, “Education is the most powerful weapon which you can use to change the world.” Our newest Man Of The Week is Louka Parry and he couldn’t agree more! Louka is a Director of Programs for Education Changemakers, and he saw an opportunity in leveraging education as a tool to combat societal issues, scarcities and inequalities. Louka noticed the importance of education and the positive impact it can have in empowering somebody to live a fulfilled life of purpose and passion. His dedication to impacting the education of every young person in the world, regardless of their location, is both admirable yet necessary. To get involved, be sure to check out Education Changemakers and some of the other noble causes Louka supports.
Age: 31
What do you do?
I’m now an adult educator, working to unleash teacher-led innovation and leadership. As the Director of Programs for Education Changemakers, a BCorp, we work to enable teachers to lead positive change in their schools to make sure young people have an education worth having.
Why do you do it?
I teach because I want to see a better world, one where every person can achieve their own sense of greatness. It’s clear that we need to move from a world of scarcity to one of abundance and I see education as the key lever for social change. I’m also lucky to spend time with amazing people everyday, be they passionate teachers and leaders or my wonderful colleagues. It’s hard to underplay the importance of a great team culture to do great work.
How do you make a difference in the world? (Work, business, life, family, self)
I try to live deliberately and inspire others to lead positive, fulfilling lives where they find their purpose and use their passion to follow it. I’m incredibly lucky to support teachers from a diverse range of settings to be innovative and to use their leadership gifts to serve others. In life, I try to be the best version of myself as a positive energiser and an optimist.
What are 3 defining moments in your life?
– Firstly, the day my Papou (my Greek Grandfather) died in 2001. I was 16 and it was the first significant grief I had experienced and I realized I didn’t truly know him or much about my ancestry as the first Australian born from two immigrant families. He was too proud to speak broken English and I spoke no Greek. That moment unleashed a passion for history and linguistics and five languages later, I’m still on a relentless quest to be a hyperpolyglot.
– Second, was a lecture at university that spoke about teaching in remote communities in Central Australia. That lecture forever changed my life trajectory and 12 months later, I found myself being my teaching career in the great Australian outback. It’s also where I met Jess, a fellow teacher, who is now my long-term partner.
– Third, was the day I became a school principal. I was 27 and it was to be a test of my leadership nous, but it was rewarding work and having a committed, positive team of both Aboriginal and non-aboriginal educators made all the difference to both me and the students.
What is your life purpose?
It is said in life that you make a living by what you get, but you make a life by what you give. I hope to give my best, most authentic self to the world and know with satisfaction that I’ve made a difference. I hope to collect as many profound learning experiences as possible, which is one reason I love to travel, and make a positive dent on this planet while I’m fortunate enough to be here.
How did you tap into it?
I chose teaching because I wanted to help others. Education is a social leveller and anyone can experience success if given the right support. I’m a strong believer in egalitarian ideals and meritocracy and wanted to work in service of them. After all, teaching is the profession that creates all others.
Who is your Role-Model or Mentor?
I take my inspiration from many people around me and try to use their passion to spark my own. My role-model is my Yaiyai (Greek Grandma) who died a year ago. She had incredible resilience, strength, selflessness and so much love for others. I learnt so much from her and am grateful for the sacrifice she and others made so that I could have the opportunities I’ve had in Australia. Family is really important to me and I do my best to make them proud.
Do you have any daily habits? If so, what are they?
I meditate for 20 minutes, take a run or do yoga, read, listen to Spotify and connect with friends and ideas online. I also try do at least one thing that scares me and one random act of kindness, no matter how small. If the world need more of something, it’s kindness.
When do you know your work/life balance is off?
I’m incredibly privileged to do what I love so I like to think of this balance more as life/work integration. But when I find my normal positive self becoming cynical, impatient and frustrated, I know it’s time for rebalance, especially a bit of a digital detox (I’m as addicted to technology as most people nowadays).
Vulnerability is a challenge for most men – share a vulnerable moment from your life with us.
The moment my parents separated. It was late in my life as I was 27 but it was completely unexpected, it totally challenged my concept of marriage as a life-long commitment, something I’m still working through. Thankfully, both my parents are happier now with partners who truly fulfil them.
What did you learn from it?
That life is never linear, ignoring authenticity is never promising and honesty is always the best position. If you are not happy, you need to change something. Life is too short for anything else.
If you are or were going to be a mentor for another man, what is one piece of advice you would give him?
I know it sounds morbid but I would ask him about his death. How would he like to have impacted the world? What would he want the eulogy to be about? And how close is he from achieving these things now? I personally find this strategy helps me to realise that my day-to-day worries don’t actually amount to much, and this forces me to make sure that I’m taking advantage of every opportunity to learn, grow and be my authentic self. Our energy is precious and we need to stick with the things that really matter.
How do you be the best partner (Boyfriend/Husband- past or present)
Be kind, forgiving and a clear communicator. My partner and I live between two states, so we connect daily and see each other every other week. She’s very driven running a preschool and I’m immensely proud of her. I also try to practice self-care and mediation to be the best version of myself I can be when we are spending time together. In this information saturated world, it’s as important to tend the mind as hit the gym.
Do you support any Charities or Not-for-profits? (Which one(s) and why?)
Amnesty International, Oxfam and YGAP. I find work of Y-GAP and Spark* particularly extraordinary as they support early stage social entrepreneurs in Africa, Asia and Australia. To date their program has helped improve the lives of over 100,000 people living in extreme poverty. I routinely get involved in their campaigns, like Polishedman. Definitely check them out.
If your life had a theme song, what would it be?
During the day: Watching You Breathe by Jacoo (mainly for the epic Alan Watts sample)
After dark: Daft Punk by Pentatonix (love a good acapella medley)
Where do you see yourself in 3 years?
A wiser yet relentlessly inquisitive man, still teaching and supporting others to make positive impact. Possibly undertaking a Ph.D, in great shape, beginning a family and enjoying the challenges of this crazy life.
What legacy do you want to leave for future generations?
I’d like to have inspired the people I’ve come across to live more fulfilled lives, and ultimately to work toward a world where everyone can flourish. To have contributed to the creation of a meaningful, relevant and inspiring education for every young person, no matter their location or background.
What One book would you recommend for any Man?
Linchpin by Seth Godin. Epic read.
If you know a Man that is making a positive impact on the world, we would love to hear from you! Contact us at [email protected]
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Man Of The Week – Elliot Costello
From a very young age Elliot Costello’s life was influenced by his exposure to marginalized people, as his father was a lawyer and baptist, and his mother was heavily involved in not-for-profits. Being around those less fortunate was something of a norm. Seeing the values of his parents in action on a daily basis further cemented Elliot’s belief of community and how vital of a role they play in moving society forward. It seems only natural that Elliot sought volunteer experiences in developing nations while studying for his Bachelors and Masters. In 2008, Elliot and his friends wanted to volunteer in Africa but were asked to cough up over $5000 each to volunteer, which seemed wasteful. Not satisfied with the system in place, Elliot and his friends decided to cut out the intermediary, and thus ‘Y Generation Against Poverty’ (YGAP) was born. Their vision and approach are as simple as they are empowering, a world without poverty and the importance of empowering local people to solve local problems. Their main projects all focus on youth education and today they are active in six countries across Asia, Africa & Australia.
Elliot and YGAP’s most recent campaign, titled ‘Polished Man’, is centred around creating awareness and raise funds for the 1 in 5 children globally who will suffer physical and sexual violence before the age of 18. The campaign stems from Elliot’s visit to a village in Cambodia, where he met a little girl named Thea who was sexually abused. During their meeting, Elliot felt a love and playfulness in Thea’s eyes, little did he know that her tragic yet hopeful story would be the start of a global movement. For more information and to donate, head over to www.polishedman.com
Age: Just turned 31.
What do you do? (Work)
I am the CEO of YGAP; a movement of entrepreneurs that changes lives. We find and enable impact entrepreneurs in some of the world’s most disadvantage communities. We fund our work by running creative fundraising Campaigns and by owning and operating a range of social enterprises.
Why do you do it?
I strong believe we can live in a world without extreme poverty but achieving this requires bold and innovative approaches. Our work is changing the approach of traditional international development by dropping colonial, post WWII, methodologies to instead focus on supporting the local impact entrepreneurs with their ideas to tackle poverty on the frontline.
How do you make a difference in the world? (Work, business, life, family, self)
Predominately work
What are 3 defining moments in your life?
– First trip to India in 2004 with my best friend working and living in some of India’s most challenging areas
– Starting YGAP in 2008 with a group of friends
– Quitting my job in the corporate world in 2013 to go into full-time work with the non-profit I helped start; YGAP.
What is your life purpose?
Support my family and friends on their journey of philanthropy. I believe every single person has the capacity – in some way – to help change the world.
How did you tap into it?
There was no moment or life changing experience, it was just an evolved passion. I was always working on socially motivated causes and soon realised how many people around me were keen to do the same. YGAP has become a vehicle for others to share their skills and passion, motivated by the outcomes we have.
Who is your Role-Model or Mentor?
My strongest role model would be William Wilberforce. As a British MP, at the age of just 23 years old, he led the abolition movement to end Britain’s dependence on the Trans-Atlantic slave trade.
Do you have any daily habits? If so, what are they?
A cup of tea (English Breakfast) after every meal I eat. I can’t live without one!
When do you know your work/life balance is off?
When I hit an absolute wall. I am not too good at picking up the signs that my work/life balance is out of whack; instead I notice when it’s too late. Something I need to change.
Vulnerability is a challenge for most men – share a vulnerable moment from your life with us.
Vulnerability is such an important trait to recognise for all men. A YGAP Board Member once said to me: “Elliot, you are super capable, super confident, but you are not prepared to be vulnerable.” This really struck me. Because he is right.
What did you learn from it?
I had to change my leadership approach and style. Given this, I have tried to show my staff and key volunteers that I am not perfect and I am capable of being vulnerable too.
If you are or were going to be a mentor for another man, what is one piece of advice you would give him?
Displaying and expressing vulnerability is a strength, not a weakness. I learnt this the hard way.
How do you be the best partner (Boyfriend/Husband- past or present)
Be prepared to have tough conversations about emotions. Women – as partners – are biologically more open to discussions around feelings and emotions. It is important to park the rationale explanation from time to time and connect on an emotional level where you can meet your partner.
Do you support any Charities or Not-for-profits? (Which one(s) and why?)
Well, I work full-time for one! Outside of YGAP, I do personally fund a range of not-for-profits; both with my money and with my time (advice and an active Board Member)
If your life had a theme song, what would it be?
I asked two female staff members this question. On my behalf they were quick to reply: “Your body is a wonderland” by John Mayer and “Wannabe” by the Spice Girls… I don’t agree, so I will run with “Hakuna Matata” by The Lion King.
Where do you see yourself in 3 years?
As an organisation, we have set an objective to significantly and measurably impact the lives of one million people by mid-2018. I want to remain the leader who drives this powerful impact.
What legacy do you want to leave for future generations?
A simple belief that we all have the capacity to change the world. Be bold, be brave and be vocal in your approach to achieve this.
What One book would you recommend for any Man?
The Reluctant Fundamentalist; it’s brilliant
If you know a Man that is making a positive impact on the world, we would love to hear from you! Contact us at [email protected]
Your Ultimate Pathway To Personal Growth: Feedback That Hurts
One of our deepest human needs is to grow, develop and become better today than we were yesterday, and that is not easy.
We associate growth and development with pain because they usually mean change; we need to do things differently to achieve different results and get different outcomes.
To do things differently is to explore areas we aren’t familiar with, use skills we haven’t mastered, develop and evolve processes we haven’t perfected.
What it comes down to is stepping into unfamiliar grounds, putting ourselves on the line and being more liable to fail. That scares the heck out of us and makes the pathway to our personal growth seem harder than it really is, to the point we avoid it at any cost.
That pathway is feedback; it’s the one thing that matters most for any personal growth or development to take place. Without feedback, you have no idea what’s the true value you’re creating, what your impact is and how your results are received by the outside world.
However, not every feedback is valuable feedback. In fact the only feedback that really matters, the only feedback that is valuable, and the only feedback that makes a real difference, is the feedback that really, really hurts!
What is feedback that really hurts? It’s the one that looks like an attack on you, your personality, ideas, values, what you stand for, your work, what you do, your actions, behaviours, everything you’re part of, everything you represent, everything you are, everything that is you.
The worst part about feedback that really hurts is that it never looks like feedback. It always looks like an attack, it comes with anger and it usually forces you to shut down, stop listening, raise your shields, put up your defences, and attack back.
Why feedback that hurts? Why not regular feedback?
When people are angry and in an attack mode, they’re usually not reserved, and the rational part of their brain that usually sugar coats feedback with bullshit icing is temporarily unavailable to them. As a result, they will share their raw thoughts using the first words that occur to them. That is the most honest and most valuable feedback you can get.
Could that be why Steve Jobs got remarkable results from his team? Jobs is known for being unapologetically direct and rude. So if he thought a piece of technology is shit, he would not say “thank you, why don’t you try harder and do your best the next time.” He would get angry and call it “a piece of shit.” That is a super clear response that means you really need to go back to the drawing board and rethink the whole damn thing.
If you got that kind of feedback, there is no doubt in your mind that you need to be rethinking the whole thing and innovating the heck out of it. You just can’t rationalize your way around such feedback, and you won’t misunderstand it.
Recently I got into an argument with someone I work with, we both got angry and the argument turned into a shouting match. I wasn’t listening, I was ready to defend myself, I wanted to win and prove I was right.
When I calmed down and thought things through, I saw things differently; ‘that was feedback.’
Yes, he probably didn’t intend for what he said in the argument to be feedback, he was just angry about a few things and upset from me. But when I thought about it as feedback, that completely shifted my response, and instead of seeking an apology from him, I asked for more ‘feedback.’
So we met a couple of days after and I asked him to share with me everything that was coming in the way of us working together as one team and preventing us from collaborating. In plain terms I asked, ” tell me where you think I fucked up, what was I doing wrong and what issues do you have with me?”
I listened as he shared all the things that caused him to be angry at me. I realized that I had no idea of the unintended impact of things I said or did. It was the best feedback anyone could’ve given me about how I show up for that team and the impact I have on them.
I recalled some arguments I had with people I worked with in the past. How different would our results and relationships be if only I saw their anger, frustration, and the hurtful things they said as feedback?
How valuable would it be for you to get this kind of unedited, unfiltered, honest feedback? Are you able to see anger, argument, and disagreement as feedback? Are you able to get curious about the reasons behind these reactions and ask questions to find out?
You don’t have to wait until you get involved in an argument or someone gets angry at you. You can start getting feedback today by asking the people in your life and the people you work with open questions like:
– What is there between us that is unresolved?
– What is there for me to clean up or address?
– What do you really think of my work?
– What do you really think of my behavior?
– What do you really think of the way I conduct myself?
– What impact do I have on our work and our relationship at work?
– What do you really think of the way I show up at work?
– What are my strengths?
– What are my weaknesses?
– Where do I mess things up?
– Where did I fuck things up?
Make sure you ask the questions and listen intently to the answers. Create a safe space for them to be brutally honest and direct with you. The last thing you want to do is argue with them, negate what they are saying, or point out how they are wrong. That will not go well. The moment you start doing that, people will shut down and will get back to sugar coating their answers and giving you bullshit feedback. What’s worse is that you will mostly show up as someone who doesn’t listen and only interested in your own opinion.
Warning: Honest and direct feedback is going to be hard, sometimes very hard. So breathe through it. And remember feedback about you is not an accurate representation of who you really are, it’s just the way that person sees you and how you showed up to them in the past. You can change that and turn things around.
With every feedback session you conduct, you will have a more accurate representation of your personal brand and how you show up in the world. You will start to recognize certain patterns of things you say and do that are shaping how people see you and deal with you.
Such valuable feedback paves the ultimate pathway to personal growth. Even before you start doing or saying things differently, just the fact that you are asking for this kind of feedback will cause people to start to see you in a very different light. They will respect you more, they will be more open and honest in how they deal with you. This is a very different way to operate, one that will enable you to generate very different results.
You now have information you can act on. It’s up to you to choose what you’re going to do with it. You can ignore it, or use it to become the person you are meant to be and create a remarkable impact in the world.
Hussein Hallak is a serial entrepreneur with 22+ years of startup experience in strategy, branding, marketing, and growth. Hussein started 6 successful companies, worked on projects for Fortune 500 companies and World’s Top 100 Brands, and was featured in Forbes, BBC, and Entrepreneur.
Currently Hussein is the Director of Strategy and Marketing at 3 Tier Logic, a shopper marketing and engagement software startup out of Vancouver, BC. Hussein is also the Director of Marketing at TEDxStanleyPark, Advisor at Spirit Games Ltd, Head Instructor – Lean Entrepreneur Program at LaunchAcademy and Founder of InspirationInbox.com.
Hussein lives to inspire possibility, to enable people, to achieve the remarkable.
Connect with him through his website, Facebook, LinkedIn, Twitter, Pinterest, and Instagram
Man Of The Week – Aran Seaman
This week’s Man Of The Week is someone who has had a positive impact and changed the lives of people all around the world. Aran Seaman lives a life true to his values, and through his work he has changed the lives of hundreds of thousands of children in Kenya by providing them access to clean water. His dedication to hard work and taking risks has allowed him to run a successful and sustainable business at Eartheasy.com
- Age: 30
- What do you do? (Work)
eartheasy.com – Retailer & distributor of products for sustainable living. - Why do you do it?
It allows me to align my values and skills to grow something that makes the world a better place. - How do you make a difference in the world? (Work, business, life, family, self)
As a company, we are making a difference by giving back through a variety of ways. For example, we have a One for One model built into one of our product lines, which provides a year of clean drinking water for a school child in Africa for every product sold. Last year this resulted in clean drinking water for 157,000 kids in rural Kenya. We also plant a tree for every order on eartheasy.com, and sponsor a variety of US & Canada based conservation and outreach organizations. - What are 3 defining moments in your life?
– Growing our company to the point where we were able to have our parents finally retire.
– Demonstrating the LifeStraw products live on national TV in the US (and not screwing up!).
– Seeing first hand the impact of our hard work, on the ground in Kenya, installing water purifiers in over 300 rural schools. - What is your life purpose?
Make the world a better place, through informative articles, guides and innovative products which improve people’s lives and reduce their impact on the planet. - How did you tap into it?
Using business as a means for good. Profit for a purpose. - Who is your Role-Model or Mentor?
My parents are my role models. They are creative, hard-working, and incredibly kind, caring people. I will have succeeded at life if I’m like them when I retire. - Do you have any daily habits? If so, what are they?
I bike to work (this is a game changer) and exercise every day. I also drink 3-4 litres of water a day. I listen to audiobooks while biking to and from work – which allows me to keep up with reading. - When do you know your work/life balance is off?
If I stop exercising every day or my diet goes off track I know my work/life balance is off. - Vulnerability is a challenge for most men – share a vulnerable moment from your life with us.
There was a really hard time in our business where we lost half our revenue for 6 months. I sold everything I owned, including my rare (limited edition) sport bike, gear, & even clothes. We ate ramen noodles and did not pay ourselves until the business rebounded. It was a blow to the ego, but we got through it. - What did you learn from it?
You don’t need toys & shiny things to be happy. You need purpose. The obstacle is the way: if you have a worthy challenge in front of you, it’s more fulfilling and exciting than a performance race bike in your garage. - If you are or were going to be a mentor for another man, what is one piece of advice you would give him?
Step outside your comfort zone. Take risks. Work harder than the other guy. Cancel Netflix, stop drinking and bear down on something you are passionate about – relentlessly. - How do you be the best partner? (Boyfriend/Husband- past or present) Quality over quantity. If you can only spend a day a week with your parter, make sure that’s the best damn day ever. Put the effort in to make it awesome. It can be as simple as a picnic at a park, or as lavish as a weekend away at a resort – but make it special. Put the effort in. They see what you put in to your career, and they deserve the same level of energy in their relationship with you.
- Do you support any Charities or Not-for-profits? (Which one(s) and why?)
Annually we support over 30 non-profits in the US and Canada. If we can afford to give back, we will as much as possible. - If your life had a theme song, what would it be? Tough question.. “Outro” by M83 or “No Way” by the Naked & Famous.
- Where do you see yourself in 3 years?
I see our company 3X in size, and impact. - What legacy do you want to leave for future generations?
I want people to be inspired, and make a positive impact in the world. I want to somehow enable that. - What One book would you recommend for any Man?
“Tales of Endurance” by Fergus Fleming. If you have anything you think is a challenge in life, reading what others have overcome throughout history will make it pale in comparison. I know my limits are way higher than I originally thought after reading this book.
Please leave a comment, we would love to hear your thoughts!
If you know a Man that is making a positive impact on the world, we would love to hear from you! Contact us at [email protected]