Mastering the First Impression: Voice

[Editor’s Note: This is Part 2 in Benjamin Ritter’s series in mastering the first impression. If you haven’t already, you should read Part 1 first.]

Voice is a Powerful Force

People are constantly forming opinions, analyzing information, and basing your attractiveness from the way words are said in the human voice.

The human voice (speech) consists of three different components; pitch, rate, and tone, and reveals the majority of our emotions. Pitch is defined as high/low of speech. Rate is the tempo or speed of speech. Tone is the variation of pitch while speaking.

We have control of the rate, tone and, to an extent, the pitch of our voices, and with the right practice your voice can be used to increase your level of attractiveness.

Five tips for using voice to increase perceived attractiveness:

  1. Speak from your diaphragm (right above your belly button) for a more full, attractive, strong, and natural sound. The pitch of your voice is altered from where it originates. When you breathe from your diaphragm, you will automatically use that air while you are speaking.
  2. Use the rate/tempo and volume of your voice to emphasize emotions and capture attention. For example, speed up and speak louder when talking about something exciting and slow down and speak softer when you want to capture attention and emphasize a point.
  3. Vary tone during an approach. Focus on positive, fun, confident and sarcastic tones and avoid any negative tones (whining, blaming, etc.). Study how actors in movies and on TV change their tone to suggest importance, create a question, display sexual interest, excitement, sarcasm, disbelief, etc.
  4. Articulate each word, don’t speak too fast (your rate), and increase the volume of your voice (project) so that the person or people with whom you are speaking can hear and understand you.
  5. Mimic the other person‘s conversational pitch, rate and tone to create deeper rapport. For example, if the other person becomes excited, copy his/her change in rate and volume, or vice versa if the person is relaxed, speaking slower and in a lower volume.

Practice Makes Perfect

Recording your voice while practicing various pitches, rates, and tones is the best way to become more aware of how you sound and how it makes others feel.

Start listening and analyzing movies, TV shows, and other people in conversation.

You’ll begin to be able to observe how specific combinations of pitches, rates, and tones create an overall perception of personality and attractiveness.

In the next article, Part 3, I will discuss the 7 percent portion of an interaction, what you actually say.

Read More by Benjamin Ritter on the ManTalks Blog

Part 1 of this series: Body Language:

The 11 Key Steps to Influence

5 Tips to Dramatically Improve Your Relationship

The 5 Areas of Your Life You Need to Go Phoneless

You Don’t Deserve Better, You Deserve to Be Better


Benjamin RitterBenjamin Ritter, MBA, MPH, is an interpersonal, dating, and relationship consultant, author of The Essentials, co-host of the Suave Lover podcast, curator of the Interfaith Relationships workshop, and the Values Systems workshop, freelance expert and writer, and healthcare executive.

He has years of direct client, personal, and social experiences towards improving and solving internal development, dating, and relationship situations. For more information go to; //

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