**SHOW NOTES**
Why does sex become more difficult the more we care about someone? In this conversation, I sit down with psychosexual and relationship therapist Kate Moyle to unpack the psychology behind performance anxiety, modern sexual culture, and why so many men feel pressure to perform instead of connect.
We explore how stress, distraction, shame, relationship dynamics, and unrealistic expectations affect intimacy, along with practical ways to build healthier communication, confidence, and connection in the bedroom. Whether you’re navigating anxiety around sex or simply want a deeper understanding of intimacy, this conversation offers practical insights grounded in both science and clinical experience.
SHOW HIGHLIGHTS
00:00 – Introducing Kate Moyle
00:20 – What a Psychosexual Therapist Does
02:56 – Is Modern Sexual Culture Broken?
05:52 – Performance vs Presence in Sex
08:13 – Why Anxiety Shows Up During Intimacy
11:08 – Changing Gender Roles and Sexual Expectations
13:46 – The Biopsychosocial Model Explained
15:04 – Everyday Stressors That Affect Sex
18:29 – Creating the Conditions for Great Sex
22:06 – Porn, Media and Unrealistic Expectations
26:13 – Why Communication Is Essential for Great Sex
29:57 – Attunement Over Performance
31:30 – Pleasure vs Performance
35:57 – Understanding Unreliable Erections
38:29 – The Psychology of Performance Anxiety
46:41 – Breaking the Anxiety Cycle
53:35 – Addressing Shame Around Sexual Performance
56:52 – Masculinity, Potency and Self-Worth
59:26 – When Relationship Issues Affect Intimacy
01:03:13 – Where to Find Kate Moyle
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Pick up my book, Men’s Work: A Practical Guide To Face Your Darkness, End Self-Sabotage, And Find Freedom: https://mantalks.com/mens-work-book/
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