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Rob Henderson – Building Resiliency From A Troubled Childhood

Talking points: childhood, trauma, foster care, relationships

We all know that poverty can have a massive impact on a child’s future well-being, sense of self, attachment style, and more. Foster children face equally (if not more) significant challenges. Rob Henderson, author of the incredibly powerful book, “Troubled”, explains some of what happens. Team, I strongly recommend this one if you’re interested at all in childhood trauma, how attachment develops, the apparent demonization of young men, absent fathers, and of course, Rob’s book. Seriously could NOT stop reading it.

(00:00:00) – Intro

(00:06:54)- How Rob approached writing such a profound book—and why

(00:14:27) – What’s the foster-care system like in America?

(00:23:01) – How does the foster-care system shape a child’s perspective on relationships?

(00:36:01) – How Rob found a sense of belonging

(00:39:23) – How did Rob repair or build relationships with men?

(00:46:06) – Rob’s take on how absent fathers impact children

(00:51:33) – On “Young Male Syndrome” and the limits of attachment

(01:03:40) – How do dating apps impact attachment, and how Rob worked on healing his own attachment style

Rob Henderson grew up in foster homes across California, and is a writer on human nature, psychology, social class, TV shows, movies, political and social divisions, and more. He’s perhaps most known for pioneering the concept of “luxury beliefs,” a term he coined to describe a new way of understanding the American status system. After working as a busboy, a dishwasher, and supermarket bagger, he joined the Air Force at the age of 17, stationed mostly in Europe and deployed in the Middle East.

Once described as “self-made” by the New York Times, Henderson obtained a B.S. in Psychology from Yale (thanks to the G.I. Bill) and a Ph.D. in Psychology from the University of Cambridge (St. Catharine’s College), where I studied as a Gates Cambridge Scholar. He is a founding faculty fellow at UATX and a columnist at The Free Press, and have written for the New York Times, the Wall Street Journal, and the Boston Globe, among other outlets.

Connect with Rob

-Substack: https://www.robkhenderson.com/

-Twitter: https://twitter.com/robkhenderson

-Book: Troubled: A Memoir of Foster Care, Family, and Social Class: https://www.simonandschuster.com/books/Troubled/Rob-Henderson/9781982168537

***

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Steps For Ending Self-Sabotage

Talking points: mindset, sabotage

It’s not easy, I know. We all do it, and we all wonder why. But there’s a way forward—and it’s simpler than you think, my friends. Listen in.

(00:00:00) – Intro

(00:03:12)- What people do immediately after sabotaging, why it’s NOT effective, and what to do instead

(00:06:12) – Practical steps to move beyond self-sabotage

(00:10:49) – If there’s one thing to take away from this

***

Build brotherhood in person. Join a Men’s Weekend

Pick up my book, Men’s Work: A Practical Guide To Face Your Darkness, End Self-Sabotage, And Find Freedom: https://mantalks.com/mens-work-book/

Check out some free resources: How To Quit Porn | Anger Meditation | How To Lead In Your Relationship

Build brotherhood with a powerful group of like-minded men from around the world. Check out The Alliance

Enjoy the podcast? If so, please leave a review on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, or Podchaser. It helps us get into the ears of new listeners, expand the ManTalks Community, and help others find the tools and training they’re looking for. And don’t forget to subscribe on Apple Podcasts | Google Podcasts | Spotify

For more episodes, visit us at ManTalks.com | Facebook | Instagram | Twitter | and yes, even TikTok

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Henry Shukman – A Path To True Mindfulness

Talking points: zen, meditation, mindfulness, psychedelics, mindset

I’m one of those people who hated sitting down and meditating, even after a few years of trying to practice. It’s now something I do nearly every day, and it grounds me in ways I can’t explain. This is a pretty common story, especially among men I’ve worked with, so I brought Henry Shukman back on the show to dig into what novice meditators get wrong, what some good starter methods are, and really: what IS thought, anyway?

Listen in for a great look at the start and “end” goal of mindfulness, and Henry’s infectious enthusiasm for this powerful practice.

(00:00:00) – Intro

(00:03:47)- Do men and women have different struggles with meditation?

(00:08:35) – Why do meditation and mindfulness draw more women than men?

(00:18:45) – What are the initial resistance points when people start a meditation practice?

(00:25:03) – What IS thinking?

(00:31:57) – But what’s the actual goal of mindfulness, and how do you get there?

(00:38:56) – The power of allowing, and what it actually means

(00:49:29) – What is “original nature”?

(00:56:16) – Do psychedelics offer the same glimpse into reality as meditation does?

(01:04:24) – Henry’s upcoming app

Henry Shukman is a mindfulness teacher and the spiritual Director of Mountain Cloud Zen Center. He has been trained by several Zen teachers, particularly the roshis Joan Rieck, John Gaynor, Ruben Habito, and Yamada Ryoun Roshi, as well as by teachers and mentors in other traditions. Henry has an MA from Cambridge and an MLitt from St. Andrews, and has written several award-winning books of poetry and fiction.

He currently guides a wide range of students from all walks of life. He received dharma transmission (inka shomei) from Yamada Ryoun Roshi, the abbot of Sanbo Zen, and is a Zen Master of the Sanbo Zen lineage of Kamakura, Japan.

Connect with Henry

-Upcoming app: The Way: https://www.thewayapp.com/

-Website; Mountain Cloud Zen Center: https://www.mountaincloud.org/

-Website; Original Love Meditation: https://originallove.org/

-Book; One Blade Of Grass: https://bit.ly/3CFLuFz

-Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mountaincloudzencenter/

***

Build brotherhood in person. Join a Men’s Weekend

Pick up my book, Men’s Work: A Practical Guide To Face Your Darkness, End Self-Sabotage, And Find Freedom: https://mantalks.com/mens-work-book/

Check out some free resources: How To Quit Porn | Anger Meditation | How To Lead In Your Relationship

Build brotherhood with a powerful group of like-minded men from around the world. Check out The Alliance

Enjoy the podcast? If so, please leave a review on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, or Podchaser. It helps us get into the ears of new listeners, expand the ManTalks Community, and help others find the tools and training they’re looking for. And don’t forget to subscribe on <a…

Why Are Young Men Abandoning The Left?

Talking points: politics, culture

Recent data seems to show young men skewing more and more conservative and women more progressive. Why? Well, to my eyes, there’s one major factor and a few others that are generating this shift. Listen in.

(00:00:00) – Intro

(00:03:21) – What factors into this?

(00:04:42) – What happens for men in some progressive circles

(00:06:40) – And what happens for men in conservative circles

(00:09:26) – Other reasons impacting this shift

(00:13:38) – We’ve attached gender roles to political ideologies

***

Build brotherhood in person. Join a Men’s Weekend

Pick up my book, Men’s Work: A Practical Guide To Face Your Darkness, End Self-Sabotage, And Find Freedom: https://mantalks.com/mens-work-book/

Check out some free resources: How To Quit Porn | Anger Meditation | How To Lead In Your Relationship

Build brotherhood with a powerful group of like-minded men from around the world. Check out The Alliance

Enjoy the podcast? If so, please leave a review on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, or Podchaser. It helps us get into the ears of new listeners, expand the ManTalks Community, and help others find the tools and training they’re looking for. And don’t forget to subscribe on Apple Podcasts | Google Podcasts | Spotify

For more episodes, visit us at ManTalks.com | Facebook | Instagram | Twitter | and yes, even TikTok

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Case Kenny – On Being “Too Much”, And Navigating Modern Relationships

Talking points: relationships, mindfulness, marriage, logic, social media

Maybe you’ve heard me say this before, but the modern dating scene seems, well, insane. Case Kenny sat down for a great, insightful convo on why that’s a thing, from the expectations social media feeds us, to the meaning of marriage to how AI is going to mess with all of it—or not.

Listen in and share this ep if you want honest thoughts and some straightforward tips on navigating modern relationships!

(00:00:00) – Intro

(00:04:34)- Why are women worried about being “too much”?

(00:13:43) – What are guys actually trying to communicate to women who feel they’re “too much”?

(00:17:01) – On relational conflict, solving it, and how social media doesn’t do you any favours

(00:22:10) – On social media, intimacy, independence, and “settling down”

(00:33:10) – Case’s take on declining marriage rates

(00:39:01) – Case’s great definition of mindfulness, and mindfulness in the context of relationships

(00:49:58) – How can men use mindfulness to improve their relationships?

(00:56:50) – Case’s hard-hitting questions to journal on

(01:05:33) – Will AI impact the mindfulness space?

Case Kenny is a Chicago, IL based mindfulness author and podcast host of the top 25 US podcast “New Mindset, Who Dis?” No gurus, no fluff, and no preaching of generic life advice. Just his thoughts on self-help, wellness, and mindsets with practical and personal insights on how to live a passionate, purposeful, and happy life.

Connect with Case

-Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/case.kenny/

-YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@CaseKenny

-Book: That’s Bold Of You: https://bit.ly/42hZeDk

-Podcast: New Mindset, Who Dis?: https://bit.ly/3Ue7GkT

***

Want a more intense, in-person experience? Join a Men’s Weekend

Pick up my book, Men’s Work: A Practical Guide To Face Your Darkness, End Self-Sabotage, And Find Freedom: https://mantalks.com/mens-work-book/

Check out some free resources: How To Quit Porn | Anger Meditation | How To Lead In Your Relationship

Build brotherhood with a powerful group of like-minded men from around the world. Check out The Alliance

Enjoy the podcast? If so, please leave a review on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, or Podchaser. It helps us get into the ears of new listeners, expand the ManTalks Community, and help others find the tools and training they’re looking for. And don’t forget to subscribe on Apple Podcasts | Google Podcasts | Spotify

For more episodes, visit us at ManTalks.com | Facebook | Instagram | Twitter | and yes, even <a…

A Man’s Guide To Ending Codependency

Talking points: relationship, mindset, psychology

This is a big one, dear listener. This is a slightly new format for the series; specific topics I’ll do a deeper dive on, centering on how you as a man can better understand them, better work through them, and better help others through as well. First up? Codependency. If you’ve got a specific topic you’d like me to cover, hit me up on Instagram @mantalks!

(00:00:00) – Intro

(00:04:11) – What is codependency?

(00:08:30) – One the hallmark indicators you’re in a codependent relationship

(00:10:43) – Major causes of codependency: the peacekeeper, abuse, emotional unavailability, and the caretaker

(00:30:24) – The tale of Johnny Niceguy

(00:35:54) – The signs of a codependent relationship

(00:38:59) – Seven questions to ask yourself

(00:40:47) – Ways to actually move OUT of codependency, plus one that guys generally don’t like

(00:49:48) – Perfection is a fuel for codependency

***

Want a more intense, in-person experience? Join a Men’s Weekend

Pick up my book, Men’s Work: A Practical Guide To Face Your Darkness, End Self-Sabotage, And Find Freedom: https://mantalks.com/mens-work-book/

Check out some free resources: How To Quit Porn | Anger Meditation | How To Lead In Your Relationship

Build brotherhood with a powerful group of like-minded men from around the world. Check out The Alliance

Enjoy the podcast? If so, please leave a review on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, or Podchaser. It helps us get into the ears of new listeners, expand the ManTalks Community, and help others find the tools and training they’re looking for. And don’t forget to subscribe on Apple Podcasts | Google Podcasts | Spotify

For more episodes, visit us at ManTalks.com | Facebook | Instagram | Twitter | and yes, even TikTok

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Lucas Aoun – How To Naturally Optimize Testosterone

Talking points: hormones, testosterone, environment, fitness

Is there a testosterone crisis? From the headlines I’ve read it sure seems like it. But what’s going on, where is it coming from, and what can you do naturally to stay healthy? I sat down with Lucas Aoun to cover all of these things and more. Dig into this episode for a brilliant intro to optimizing hormone levels—particularly testosterone—and knowledge on how to avoid hormone disruptors.

(00:00:00) – Intro

(00:01:10) – What’s happening to men’s hormone levels, the symptoms, and what testosterone is responsible for

(00:09:41) – On cortisol, testosterone, and key building blocks

(00:16:26) – Outside of stress, what are some things negatively impacting test levels?

(00:22:07) – What about cardio or fasting?

(00:31:33) – Naturally optimizing testosterone with diet and sleep

(00:40:47) – Lucas’ take on TRT and the consequences

(00:45:06) – On tongkat ali, fadogia, shilajit, and other supplements

(00:56:44) – Lucas’ thoughts on creatine

Connect with Lucas

-Website: https://www.boostyourbiology.com/

-YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@BoostYourBiology

-The Limitless Course: https://thelimitlesscourse.com/

***

Pick up my book, Men’s Work: A Practical Guide To Face Your Darkness, End Self-Sabotage, And Find Freedom: https://mantalks.com/mens-work-book/

Check out some free resources: How To Quit Porn | Anger Meditation | How To Lead In Your Relationship

Build brotherhood with a powerful group of like-minded men from around the world. Check out The Alliance

Enjoy the podcast? If so, please leave a review on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, or Podchaser. It helps us get into the ears of new listeners, expand the ManTalks Community, and help others find the tools and training they’re looking for. And don’t forget to subscribe on Apple Podcasts | Google Podcasts | Spotify

For more episodes, visit us at ManTalks.com | Facebook | Instagram | Twitter | and yes, even TikTok

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The One Thing Every Man Should Fight For His Life To Build

Talking points: collaboration, friendship, masculinity

Men, few things are more powerful, fulfilling, and expansive than this, so guard it with your life. It took me way too long to learn and understand, and many people diminish or degrade its importance. Listen in.

(00:00:00) – Intro

(00:01:53) – Men are isolated and less collaborative than ever before, and we miss out on important things

(00:05:06) – Without male collaboration, our society would cease to exist

(00:06:40) – What I’ve learned over the last decade about male friendships—and male isolation

(00:10:02) – Maybe you yourself are one of those men who could use more friendships

(00:11:34) – We’ve got to protect this

(00:13:16) – Things you can do to foster male collaboration

Pick up my book, Men’s Work: A Practical Guide To Face Your Darkness, End Self-Sabotage, And Find Freedom: https://mantalks.com/mens-work-book/

Check out some free resources: How To Quit Porn | Anger Meditation | How To Lead In Your Relationship

Build brotherhood with a powerful group of like-minded men from around the world. Check out The Alliance

Enjoy the podcast? If so, please leave a review on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, or Podchaser. It helps us get into the ears of new listeners, expand the ManTalks Community, and help others find the tools and training they’re looking for. And don’t forget to subscribe on Apple Podcasts | Google Podcasts | Spotify

For more episodes, visit us at ManTalks.com | Facebook | Instagram | Twitter | and yes, even TikTok

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

David C. Geary – The Evolution Of Sex Differences In The Brain & Vulnerability

Talking points: evolution, psychology, relationships, sexuality

The field of evolutionary psychology has been on my mind a lot lately, but it can be hard to separate the real science from the stuff with an agenda. To that end, I sat down with David C. Geary to dig into the basics, and how even a little knowledge about things like sexual dimorphism and intrasexual aggression can bring a better understanding to modern relationships.

Listen to this one if you want a solid intro to the existence and effects evolution might have on selecting a partner, friendships, overall culture, and more.

(00:00:00) – Intro, defining evolutionary psychology, and what it has to offer in the context of modern relationships

(00:04:59) – The main pillars of sexual selection

(00:09:01) – Describing human sexual dimorphism, brain differences, and possible evolutionary benefits 

(00:21:07) – Why boys tend to be more interested in how objects work in space

(00:28:22) – Why would men have evolved a larger lung capacity? 

(00:30:38) – We don’t compete for mates in the same ways anymore, but are attraction cues the same?

(00:35:06) – Defining intrasexual aggression

(00:44:28) – The evolutionary case for vulnerability

(00:49:28) – David’s take on modern dating

(00:56:29) – What an evolutionary vulnerability really means

(01:02:25) – How are dating and relationships going to shift in the future?

David C. Geary is a cognitive scientist and evolutionary psychologist with interests in mathematical cognition and learning as well as the biological bases of sex differences. After receiving his Ph.D. in 1986 from the University of California at Riverside, he held faculty positions at the University of Texas at El Paso and the University of Missouri, first at the Rolla campus and then in Columbia. Dr. Geary is currently a Curators’ Distinguished Professor and a Thomas Jefferson Fellow in the Department of Psychological Sciences and Interdisciplinary Neuroscience Program.

Dr. Geary has written four sole-authored books; Children’s mathematical development (1994), Male, female: The evolution of human sex differences (1998, second edition, 2010, third edition 2021), The origin of mind: Evolution of brain, cognition, and general intelligence (2005), and Evolution of vulnerability: Implications for sex differences in health and development (2015), as well as one co-authored book, Sex differences: Summarizing more than a century of scientific research (Ellis et al., 2008).

Connect with David

-Google Scholar: https://scholar.google.com/citations?hl=en&user=bVcpj60AAAAJ

-Quillette: https://quillette.com/author/david-c-geary/

-Psychology Today: https://www.psychologytoday.com/ca/blog/male-female

Pick up my book, Men’s Work: A Practical Guide To Face Your Darkness, End Self-Sabotage, And Find Freedom: https://mantalks.com/mens-work-book/

Check out some free resources: How To Quit Porn | Anger Meditation | How To Lead In Your Relationship

Build brotherhood with a powerful group of like-minded men from around the world. Check out The Alliance

Enjoy the podcast? If so, please leave a review on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, or <a…

Life After De-Sexualizing My Brain (And What To Do)

Talking points: mindset, relationships

The biggest video I launched in 2023 is called “De-Sexualizing My Brain Changed My Life”. Naturally, I’ve gotten a lot of followup comments and questions about what my life has looked like since I started that process. TL;DR: it’s a good thing. Here’s why.

(00:00:00) – Intro and noting some of the comments that have been made

(00:01:26) – This isn’t about becoming a monk, it’s about having better control and influence

(00:04:58) – Remember, social media is there to grab your attention. It’ll use sex for that

(00:06:52) – I am WAY less stressed—and for one significant reason

(00:08:59) – I have much, much cleaner conversations with women AND it reinforces the relationship I’m in

(00:11:07) – It’s led to the woman that I’m with feeling safer

Pick up my book, Men’s Work: A Practical Guide To Face Your Darkness, End Self-Sabotage, And Find Freedom: https://mantalks.com/mens-work-book/

Check out some free resources: How To Quit Porn | Anger Meditation | How To Lead In Your Relationship

Build brotherhood with a powerful group of like-minded men from around the world. Check out The Alliance

Enjoy the podcast? If so, please leave a review on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, or Podchaser. It helps us get into the ears of new listeners, expand the ManTalks Community, and help others find the tools and training they’re looking for. And don’t forget to subscribe on Apple Podcasts | Google Podcasts | Spotify

For more episodes, visit us at ManTalks.com | Facebook | Instagram | Twitter | and yes, even TikTok

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

ManTalks Best Of 2023

Talking points: porn, masculinity, culture, redpill, relationships, dating, anxiety, mental health, loneliness

Every January, we get a spike of newcomers to the podcast, and this year I decided to give them a warm welcome by compiling some of the hardest-hitting and most popular episodes of the year.

If you’re new to the show, dig in and see what convos mattered most to the community. If you’re a longtime listener, now may be the chance to catch something you missed!

(00:00:00) – Stirling Cooper on how porn impacts a man in the bedroom

(00:04:46) – Advice for talking to your son about porn

(00:10:43) – Scott Galloway on how the conversation around men is shifting, and why

(00:13:21) – The knock-on effects of what men are struggling with

(00:10:26) – Again, NOT saying this is wrong, but what are we creating further down the line?

(00:11:40) – You can already see some consequences in the data

(00:19:13) – A new definition of masculinity

(00:26:42) – Scott on why guys like Andrew Tate are so popular

(00:31:21) – Jillian Turecki on helping a partner through hardship, grief, and regret

(00:39:17) – What goes into choosing a partner—and why we sometimes choose the wrong one

(00:49:19) – The Disneyfication of modern relationships 

(00:52:20) – John Delony on the correlation between body disconnection and anxiety

(00:56:16) – John’s definition of anxiety

(01:00:53) – Do men have different things generally making them anxious?

(01:05:09) – Loneliness CAUSES anxiety

Pick up my book, Men’s Work: A Practical Guide To Face Your Darkness, End Self-Sabotage, And Find Freedom: https://mantalks.com/mens-work-book/

Check out some free resources: How To Quit Porn | Anger Meditation | How To Lead In Your Relationship

Build brotherhood with a powerful group of like-minded men from around the world. Check out The Alliance

Enjoy the podcast? If so, please leave a review on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, or Podchaser. It helps us get into the ears of new listeners, expand the ManTalks Community, and help others find the tools and training they’re looking for. And don’t forget to subscribe on Apple Podcasts | Google Podcasts | Spotify

For more episodes, visit us at ManTalks.com | Facebook | Instagram | Twitter | and yes, even TikTok

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Women Are Out Earning Men—And The Media Isn’t Talking About It

Talking points: relationships, culture

Let me start off by making one thing clear: this isn’t problematic. But some other things are happening in tandem that I haven’t heard any major outlet talk about. That itself is an issue. Listen in.

(00:00:00) – Intro and stats
(00:01:55) – What I find fascinating
(00:03:39) – This is something we ALL should be having dialogue about
(00:07:28) – Why authentic equality is really important
(00:10:26) – Again, NOT saying this is wrong, but what are we creating further down the line?
(00:11:40) – You can already see some consequences in the data

Pick up my book, Men’s Work: A Practical Guide To Face Your Darkness, End Self-Sabotage, And Find Freedom: https://mantalks.com/mens-work-book/

Check out some free resources: How To Quit Porn | Anger Meditation | How To Lead In Your Relationship

Build brotherhood with a powerful group of like-minded men from around the world. Check out The Alliance

Enjoy the podcast? If so, please leave a review on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, or Podchaser. It helps us get into the ears of new listeners, expand the ManTalks Community, and help others find the tools and training they’re looking for. And don’t forget to subscribe on Apple Podcasts | Google Podcasts  | Spotify

For more episodes, visit us at ManTalks.com | Facebook | Instagram | Twitter | and yes, even TikTok

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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