buffs WP

Talking points: culture, geopolitics

This interview is probably among the most unique I’ve had on the show. I don’t usually cover straight-up politics, but Andrew’s work has fascinated me for a while. And as the world seems to getting more up in arms (literally and figuratively), I find myself wanting to learn more about where all of this started and how we as men can respond.

(00:00:00) – Common misconceptions about the CIA

(00:11:47) – Why foreign secrets are such a big deal

(00:24:51) – Andrew’s perspective on current global unrest, Iran, and just how complex it is

(00:38:31) – What’s difficult to understand about geopolitics, and why there seems to be so much conflict

(00:48:19) – Is there any form of governance that truly permits any freedom, and where the balance could lie

(00:57:47) – The perspective shift that changed Andrew’s life

(01:08:51) – Andrew’s take on what’s going to happen next with Ukraine, Russian, and Iran

(01:16:33) – Is US global supremacy in jeopardy? If it is, what does that mean for the average citizen?

Andrew Bustamante is a former covert CIA intelligence officer, decorated military combat veteran, successful Fortune 10 corporate advisor, proud husband and father.

After 20 years running human and technical intelligence operations for private and government clients worldwide, Andrew founded EverydaySpy.com — the first-ever digital spy training platform. Headlining both US and International media, Andrew’s training events have been praised for their innovative, authentic, and life-changing impact.

When he isn’t giving interviews, running spy exercises, or supporting private intelligence contracts, Andrew lives with his wife (also an ex-CIA Officer) and two children in Colorado.

Connect with Andrew

-Website: https://everydayspy.com/

-YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/everydayspy

-Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/everydayspy/

***

Pick up my book, Men’s Work: A Practical Guide To Face Your Darkness, End Self-Sabotage, And Find Freedom: https://mantalks.com/mens-work-book/

Check out some free resources: How To Quit Porn | Anger Meditation | How To Lead In Your Relationship

Build brotherhood with a powerful group of like-minded men from around the world. Check out The Alliance. 

Enjoy the podcast? If so, please leave a review on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, or Podchaser. It helps us get into the ears of new listeners, expand the ManTalks Community, and help others find the tools and training they’re looking for. And don’t forget to subscribe on Apple Podcasts | Google Podcasts | Spotify

For more episodes, visit us at ManTalks.com | Facebook | Instagram | <a…

Talking points: intimacy, relationships

Game changers aren’t usually simple, especially when it comes to intimate relationships. But this is a surprisingly easy, straightforward step that I’ve seen work time and time again. So listen in and let some wonderful things happen.

(00:00:00) – Expectationless desire and why it’s important

(00:05:37) – What to do, and what it looks like

(00:08:36) – Final thoughts

***

Pick up my book, Men’s Work: A Practical Guide To Face Your Darkness, End Self-Sabotage, And Find Freedom: https://mantalks.com/mens-work-book/

Check out some free resources: How To Quit Porn | Anger Meditation | How To Lead In Your Relationship

Build brotherhood with a powerful group of like-minded men from around the world. Check out The Alliance. 

Enjoy the podcast? If so, please leave a review on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, or Podchaser. It helps us get into the ears of new listeners, expand the ManTalks Community, and help others find the tools and training they’re looking for. And don’t forget to subscribe on Apple Podcasts | Google Podcasts | Spotify

For more episodes, visit us at ManTalks.com | Facebook | Instagram | Twitter

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Talking points: culture, parenting

One of the most informative fifty minutes I’ve ever recorded; and now that I’m a father of two, it’s pretty well timed! Grateful for Lisa’s insight, her years of experience, and her great sense of humor. This is the episode to listen to if you (like pretty much every parent) are looking for sound advice that you can act on literally right now.

(00:00:00) – Intro, and what are parents being taught that isn’t actually beneficial? 

(00:06:40) – How do we raise kids who like themselves? 

(00:11:22) – Timers: a great parenting “hack”

(00:16:25) – Ways of developing a more robust connection with your child, and the shift between raising a child, a preteen, and a teenager

(00:23:37) – How can parents help their kids build skills and develop competency?

(00:29:02) – The cost of perfectionist parenting, and what to do during tantrums

(00:44:35) – Do’s and don’t when dealing with teenagers 

Lisa Bunnage is a Parenting Coach with BratBusters Parenting Services. She has been working with children for 40+ years in schools, hospitals and youth detention facilities. She uses a mix of down-to-earth common sense and humor to teach parents how to get respect from their children.

Connect with Lisa

-Website: https://bratbusters.com

-Podcast: https://bratbusters.com/podcast/

-Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/bratbustersparenting/

***

This episode is also brought to you by BetterHelp. Easily match with a therapist who can help you through the tough times and empower your relationships with everyone—including yourself. Visit BetterHelp.com/mantalks today to get 10% off your first month.

Pick up my book, Men’s Work: A Practical Guide To Face Your Darkness, End Self-Sabotage, And Find Freedom: https://mantalks.com/mens-work-book/

Check out some free resources: How To Quit Porn | Anger Meditation | How To Lead In Your Relationship

Build brotherhood with a powerful group of like-minded men from around the world. Check out The Alliance. 

Enjoy the podcast? If so, please leave a review on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, or Podchaser. It helps us get into the ears of new listeners, expand the ManTalks Community, and help others find the tools and training they’re looking for. And don’t forget to subscribe on Apple Podcasts | Google Podcasts | Spotify

For more episodes, visit us at ManTalks.com | Facebook | Instagram | Twitter

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Talking points: culture, masculinity, social issues

Inspired by a recent article in the WSJ. Young men are facing some serious difficulties right now. We need to not just be aware of what’s going on, but follow that up with coherent, intelligent action. 

I’m not some genius who can declare national-level policy changes, but I KNOW what works on an individual level. If you’re a man who’s struggling in the face of increasing isolation and an uncertain future, here are five things you can work on right now.

(00:00:00) – Intro 

(00:03:32) – The data presented 

(00:09:44) – Young men now have to struggle against modern culture more than ever

(00:14:05) – Why can men do on an individual level in the face of all this? Number one: stop blaming women. 

(00:18:06) – Number two: set right your relationship to risk 

(00:20:30) – Number three and four: engage in healthy confrontation, and make friends with people you respect

(00:24:53) – Number five: you’ve got to set in shape. Prioritize actually living IN your body

***

Pick up my book, Men’s Work: A Practical Guide To Face Your Darkness, End Self-Sabotage, And Find Freedom: https://mantalks.com/mens-work-book/

Check out some free resources: How To Quit Porn | Anger Meditation | How To Lead In Your Relationship

Build brotherhood with a powerful group of like-minded men from around the world. Check out The Alliance. 

Enjoy the podcast? If so, please leave a review on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, or Podchaser. It helps us get into the ears of new listeners, expand the ManTalks Community, and help others find the tools and training they’re looking for. And don’t forget to subscribe on Apple Podcasts | Google Podcasts | Spotify

For more episodes, visit us at ManTalks.com | Facebook | Instagram | Twitter

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Talking points: culture, masculinity, relationships

Warren’s been a consistent and committed voice for men for decades now, an it’s been far too long since we’ve talked, so when I wanted to get some insight on how things have changed—or not—he was the obvious choice! We cover the complexity of what “makes” a man, get into politics, and some solid practical advice for couples. Enjoy and dig in.

(00:00:00) – What’s happening to young men in today’s culture

(00:09:47) – Warren’s take on why there seems to be negation or dismantling of biological underpinnings of maleness 

(00:17:53) – Is there really a difference between men and women, and Warren on listening first, solving second

(00:26:08) – Why do we see a gender divide in politics?

(00:36:06) – What Warren would say to men in their 20s and 30s

(00:41:54) – On Warren’s book Role Mate To Soul Mate, and what makes falling in love easy but sustaining love difficult

(00:52:27) – Advice if you feel like you’re always walking on eggshells with your partner

Warren Farrell, PhD, has been chosen by the Financial Times of London as one of the world’s top 100 thought leaders. His books are published in 19 languages. They include The New York Times bestseller Why Men Are the Way They Are, and the international bestseller The Myth of Male Power. Dr. Farrell presented the findings of The Boy Crisis (2018) worldwide, from the White House to the Norwegian Parliament. It was a catalyst for bipartisan legislation for father involvement in Florida.

Dr. Farrell’s most recent book, Role Mate to Soul Mate: The Seven Secrets to Lifelong Love (2024), is based on his teaching couples’ communication for the past 30 years to more than a thousand couples and psychologists. Warren has been a pioneer in both the women’s movement (elected three times to the Board of the National Organization for Women in NYC) and the men’s movement (called by GQ “The Martin Luther King of the men’s movement”). He advocates for a “Gender Liberation Movement, freeing both sexes from the rigid roles of the past.” His life journey is the subject of a forthcoming documentary.

***

Pick up my book, Men’s Work: A Practical Guide To Face Your Darkness, End Self-Sabotage, And Find Freedom: https://mantalks.com/mens-work-book/

Check out some free resources: How To Quit Porn | Anger Meditation | How To Lead In Your Relationship

Build brotherhood with a powerful group of like-minded men from around the world. Check out The Alliance. 

Enjoy the podcast? If so, please leave a review on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, or Podchaser. It helps us get into the ears of new listeners, expand the ManTalks Community, and help others find the tools and training they’re looking for. And don’t forget to subscribe on Apple Podcasts | Google Podcasts | Spotify

For more episodes, visit us at ManTalks.com | Facebook | Instagram | <a…

Talking points: porn, addiction, mindset, psychology

We all know it’s not easy. We all know it takes time. What you might NOT know is that there’s a simple reframe about quitting things like porn, weed, alcohol, and more that swings the odds in your favor. Listen in.

(00:00:00) – Intro

(00:02:58) – A new perspective on some addictions

(00:04:27) – The real question to ask

(00:07:08) – What to do instead 

(00:09:27) – If you’re like me, this is gonna take time

(00:19:45) – Number five: they create, maintain, and repair connection

(00:25:04) – If you’re not sure which one to start with, start here

***

Say no to subscriptions, but yes to a razor that’ll last you a lifetime. Visit HENSONSHAVING.com/MANTALKS to pick the razor for you and use code MANTALKS. You’ll get two years worth of blades free with your razor—just make sure to add them to your cart.

Pick up my book, Men’s Work: A Practical Guide To Face Your Darkness, End Self-Sabotage, And Find Freedom: https://mantalks.com/mens-work-book/

Check out some free resources: How To Quit Porn | Anger Meditation | How To Lead In Your Relationship

Build brotherhood with a powerful group of like-minded men from around the world. Check out The Alliance. 

Enjoy the podcast? If so, please leave a review on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, or Podchaser. It helps us get into the ears of new listeners, expand the ManTalks Community, and help others find the tools and training they’re looking for. And don’t forget to subscribe on Apple Podcasts | Google Podcasts | Spotify

For more episodes, visit us at ManTalks.com | Facebook | Instagram | Twitter

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Talking points: attachment, tactics, mindset

Let’s admit we all want a relationship that’s balanced and has minimal conflict and insecurity. I’ve talked about what anxious and avoidant couples do, but how do securely attached couples navigate? Here are five things to model.

(00:00:00) – Intro, and a quick recap on the main attachment styles 

(00:07:30) – What do securely attached people in relationships do? Number one: healthy conflict  and resolution building

(00:10:45) – Number two: they operate from a place of trust

(00:12:40) – Number three: they can self-regulate and work towards healthy de-escalation 

(00:16:54) – Number four: they have a healthy balance of independence and togetherness

(00:19:45) – Number five: they create, maintain, and repair connection

(00:25:04) – If you’re not sure which one to start with, start here

***

This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Get matched quickly with a therapist who can help you through the tough times and help you learn more about the best version of you yet. Visit BetterHelp.com/mantalks today to get 10% off your first month.

Pick up my book, Men’s Work: A Practical Guide To Face Your Darkness, End Self-Sabotage, And Find Freedom: https://mantalks.com/mens-work-book/

Check out some free resources: How To Quit Porn | Anger Meditation | How To Lead In Your Relationship

Build brotherhood with a powerful group of like-minded men from around the world. Check out The Alliance. 

Enjoy the podcast? If so, please leave a review on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, or Podchaser. It helps us get into the ears of new listeners, expand the ManTalks Community, and help others find the tools and training they’re looking for. And don’t forget to subscribe on Apple Podcasts | Google Podcasts | Spotify

For more episodes, visit us at ManTalks.com | Facebook | Instagram | Twitter

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Talking points: culture

This one will rattle some people, but it needs saying. Let’s just leave it at that.

(00:00:00) – Intro, and why shaming men is a bad approach to better behavior

(00:05:27) – The patriarchy virus

(00:11:06) – Yes, this has a lot of a complexity, but dehumanizing men who aren’t in power isn’t helping anyone

(00:14:19) – The practical consequences and how we need to take a step back

***

Pick up my book, Men’s Work: A Practical Guide To Face Your Darkness, End Self-Sabotage, And Find Freedom: https://mantalks.com/mens-work-book/

Check out some free resources: How To Quit Porn | Anger Meditation | How To Lead In Your Relationship

Build brotherhood with a powerful group of like-minded men from around the world. Check out The Alliance. 

Enjoy the podcast? If so, please leave a review on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, or Podchaser. It helps us get into the ears of new listeners, expand the ManTalks Community, and help others find the tools and training they’re looking for. And don’t forget to subscribe on Apple Podcasts | Google Podcasts | Spotify

For more episodes, visit us at ManTalks.com | Facebook | Instagram | Twitter

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Talking points: isolation, culture, relationships, friendship, anger, connection

Every now and I then, my team and I like to compile some of the greatest insights from our guests and center them around a theme. This week, we’re going hard on connection. The importance and nuance of it, the consequences of being without it, and the ways connection manifests.

These days, connection isn’t easy, but it’s more important than ever. Listen in some highly distilled wisdom.

(00:00:00) – Doug McKinley on isolation, passing down wisdom, self-leadership, working weaknesses, and adding value to you and your world

(00:21:51) – Nedra Tawwab on developing satisfying friendships and how to navigate tough conversations 

(00:35:26) – Marisa Franco on how men and women build friendship differently, “friendship minus mission”, how camaraderie has changed over the years, and the impacts of NOT having friends

(00:50:56) – Angus Fletcher on changing your internal story and your relationship to yourself, cultivating inner antifragility, and relating differently to your own anger

***

Pick up my book, Men’s Work: A Practical Guide To Face Your Darkness, End Self-Sabotage, And Find Freedom: https://mantalks.com/mens-work-book/

Check out some free resources: How To Quit Porn | Anger Meditation | How To Lead In Your Relationship

Build brotherhood with a powerful group of like-minded men from around the world. Check out The Alliance. 

Enjoy the podcast? If so, please leave a review on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, or Podchaser. It helps us get into the ears of new listeners, expand the ManTalks Community, and help others find the tools and training they’re looking for. And don’t forget to subscribe on Apple Podcasts | Google Podcasts | Spotify

For more episodes, visit us at ManTalks.com | Facebook | Instagram | Twitter

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Talking points: fatherhood, parenting, mindset, culture

Taking time off as a man seems perfectly normal—until it’s done for a newborn. While I don’t disagree that a father can (and should) work to provide for his family, I also think that your presence is a deeply important factor in your kid’s development. Here’s my rationale.

(00:00:00) – What inspired this episode

(00:03:10) – The real reasons I took time off 

(00:07:56) – How I’ve learned to define success

(00:11:52) – I challenge men to think differently about things when their children are born

***

Pick up my book, Men’s Work: A Practical Guide To Face Your Darkness, End Self-Sabotage, And Find Freedom: https://mantalks.com/mens-work-book/

Check out some free resources: How To Quit Porn | Anger Meditation | How To Lead In Your Relationship

Build brotherhood with a powerful group of like-minded men from around the world. Check out The Alliance. 

Enjoy the podcast? If so, please leave a review on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, or Podchaser. It helps us get into the ears of new listeners, expand the ManTalks Community, and help others find the tools and training they’re looking for. And don’t forget to subscribe on Apple Podcasts | Google Podcasts | Spotify

For more episodes, visit us at ManTalks.com | Facebook | Instagram | Twitter

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Talking points: relationships, testosterone, estrogen, stress

I had John on the show years ago, and it seemed like the right time to ask: has anything changed since publishing his seminal book? Turns out the answer is yes—and no. Dig in with us as we cover John’s take on conflict, mindset, confidence, emotions, hormones, and a lot more!

(00:00:00) – How have things changed since you wrote your book, and do men and women deal with stress differently?

(00:16:40) – John’s take on why testosterone has become somewhat demonized, and the limits of talking about your feelings in a relationship

(00:36:32) – John on truth, and the meeting place of mindset and reality

(00:44:41) – The paradox of confidence and the comfort zone, and the basics of emotional processing

(00:56:25) – The balancing act that is testosterone and estrogen, and its effects on aggression and self-esteem

John Gray is the author of the most well-known and trusted relationship book of all time, Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus. USA Today listed his book as one of the top 10 most influential books of the last quarter-century. In hardcover, it was the #1 best-selling book of the 1990s. Dr. Gray’s books are translated into approximately 45 languages in more than 100 countries and continues to be a bestseller.

Dr. Gray has written over 20 books. His most recent book is Beyond Mars and Venus: Relationship Skills for Our Complex Modern World. His Mars/Venus book series has forever changed the way men and women view their relationships.

John helps men and women better understand and respect their differences in both personal and professional relationships. His approach combines specific communication techniques with healthy, nutritional choices that create the brain and body chemistry for lasting health, happiness, and romance.

Connect with John

-Website: https://www.marsvenus.com/

-Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/johngraymarsvenus_official/

-Books: https://www.marsvenus.com/books

***

This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Easily match with a therapist who can help you through the tough times and empower your best self. Visit BetterHelp.com/mantalks today to get 10% off your first month.

Pick up my book, Men’s Work: A Practical Guide To Face Your Darkness, End Self-Sabotage, And Find Freedom: https://mantalks.com/mens-work-book/

Check out some free resources: How To Quit Porn | Anger Meditation | How To Lead In Your Relationship

Build brotherhood with a powerful group of like-minded men from around the world. Check out The Alliance. 

Enjoy the podcast? If so, please leave a review on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, or Podchaser. It helps us get into the ears of new listeners, expand the ManTalks Community, and help others find the tools and training they’re looking for. And don’t forget to subscribe on Apple Podcasts | Google Podcasts | <a…

Talking points: attachment, avoidance, relationships

This is thicker one, my friends. I’ve been asked by a lot of you to cover this, and here goes. There’s straightforward tactics in here for both men and women that will help you move more easily into deeper and longer lasting connection. Listen in.

(00:00:00) – Intro, some of the internal beliefs an avoidant woman has learned, and what caused them

(00:06:08) – Avoidant women tend to attract savior-oriented men. Here’s why

(00:09:26) – What to do as a couple, and tactic #1 for women: communicate your needs, but start smaller 

(00:13:42) – #2: shifting from self-protection to relational connection

(00:16:33) – #3: lean into conflict, not away, plus a couple things that will help you with this

(00:19:58) – Guys, your turn. #1: move from questions to statements

(00:23:20) – #2: give thanks instead of criticism

(00:25:18) – #3: be clear about expectations 

***

Pick up my book, Men’s Work: A Practical Guide To Face Your Darkness, End Self-Sabotage, And Find Freedom: https://mantalks.com/mens-work-book/

Check out some free resources: How To Quit Porn | Anger Meditation | How To Lead In Your Relationship

Build brotherhood with a powerful group of like-minded men from around the world. Check out The Alliance. 

Enjoy the podcast? If so, please leave a review on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, or Podchaser. It helps us get into the ears of new listeners, expand the ManTalks Community, and help others find the tools and training they’re looking for. And don’t forget to subscribe on Apple Podcasts | Google Podcasts | Spotify

For more episodes, visit us at ManTalks.com | Facebook | Instagram | Twitter

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices