buffs WP

Shorter episode today, but something I’d love to get your thoughts on. This came from a recent conversation between Lex Friedman and Aella, a sex researcher, writer, and sex worker.

She surveyed her followers on what men and women actually want in the bedroom, and noticed an interesting discrepancy. I polled my own followers and found something similar. Listen in!

Check out Aella’s work here: https://knowingless.com/

This podcast is brought to you by Organifi! Plant-based nutrition that’s science-backed, high quality, and something I use literally every day. Hit up the link for 20% off your next purchase here: https://www.organifi.com/mantalks

Pick up my brand-new book, Men’s Work: A Practical Guide To Face Your Darkness, End Self-Sabotage, And Find Freedom: https://mantalks.com/mens-work-book/

Enjoy the podcast? If so, please leave a review on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, or Podchaser. It helps us get into the ears of new listeners, expand the ManTalks Community, and help others find the tools and training they’re looking for. And don’t forget to subscribe on Apple Podcasts | Google Podcasts  | Spotify

Looking to build brotherhood with a powerful group of like-minded men from around the world? Check out The Alliance and join me today. 

Lastly, check some more free resources: How To Quit Porn | Anger Meditation | How To Lead In Your Relationship

For more episodes, visit us at ManTalks.com | Facebook | Instagram | Twitter

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Talking points: masculinity, men, death, porn, education

There’s few things I like more than wide-ranging yet deep conversations. This is one of them. Grateful to Richard for his time, eloquence, and commitment to men. This is a great episode if you’re curious about some of the challenges young men face. Reeves is data-driven, open-minded, personable, and thorough, so check the time stamps to see more of what we explore.

00:03:41.500 – Richard’s defining moment, and how he and his family handled the grief

00:10:11.100 – Living well means facing death

00:14:07.500 – “Death in one hand and gratitude in the other”

00:17:49.500 – Do men have a different perception of time?

00:22:18.500 – With how polarized everything is, how does Richard navigate modern culture?

00:28:01.000 – Fewer men are graduating college than ever before. Why? What are some of the implications?

00:36:44.500 – What are some biological differences between men and women, and what sort of caveats need to enter the discussion?

00:41:41.000 – Historically, feminine traits tend to get weaponized against women

00:44:45.000 – On porn and its effects

00:51:50.500 – How do I talk to my kids about porn?

Richard V. Reeves is a senior fellow at the Brookings Institution, where he directs the Future of the Middle Class Initiative and co-directs the Center on Children and Families. His Brookings research focuses on the middle class, inequality, and social mobility.

Richard’s publications for Brookings include his latest book Of Boys and Men: Why the Modern Male Is Struggling, Why It Matters, and What to Do about It (2022) and 2017’s Dream Hoarders: How the American Upper Middle Class Is Leaving Everyone Else in the Dust, Why That Is a Problem, and What to Do about It. He contributes to The Atlantic, National Affairs, Democracy Journal, the Wall Street Journal, and the New York Times. Richard is also the author of John Stuart Mill – Victorian Firebrand, an intellectual biography of the British liberal philosopher and politician.

Dream Hoarders was named a Book of the Year by The Economist, a Political Book of the Year by The Observer, and was shortlisted for the Goddard Riverside Stephan Russo Book Prize for Social Justice. In September 2017, Politico magazine named Richard one of the top 50 thinkers in the U.S. for his work on class and inequality.

Connect with Richard

-Website: https://richardvreeves.com/

-Book: Of Boys And Men: https://amzn.to/3GKcRkY

-Substack: https://ofboysandmen.substack.com/

-Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/richardv.reeves

-Podcast: https://richardvreeves.com/podcast/

-The Art of Dying (book mention): https://amzn.to/3UEu1X6

This podcast is brought to you by Organifi! Plant-based nutrition that’s science-backed, high quality, and something I use literally every day. Hit up the link for 20% off your next purchase here: https://www.organifi.com/mantalks

Pick up my brand-new book, Men’s Work: A Practical Guide To Face Your Darkness, End Self-Sabotage, And Find Freedom: https://mantalks.com/mens-work-book/

Enjoy the podcast? If so, please leave a review on <a…

Talking points: breathwork, calm, emotional volatility

I’ve talked pretty often about leading in a relationship, but a session with a recent client inspired me to dig into one of the more key components: regulating yourself and staying level-headed while your partner is upset. What does this mean, how do you do it, and why? Listen in.

02:02 – What it means to regulate

05:24 – Why the “take a deep breath” cliche actually works

08:33 – Women don’t want to have to validate your emotions

This podcast is brought to you by Organifi! Plant-based nutrition that’s science-backed, high quality, and something I use literally every day. Hit up the link for 20% off your next purchase here: https://www.organifi.com/mantalks

Pick up my brand-new book, Men’s Work: A Practical Guide To Face Your Darkness, End Self-Sabotage, And Find Freedom: https://mantalks.com/mens-work-book/

Enjoy the podcast? If so, please leave a review on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, or Podchaser. It helps us get into the ears of new listeners, expand the ManTalks Community, and help others find the tools and training they’re looking for. And don’t forget to subscribe on Apple Podcasts | Google Podcasts  | Spotify

Looking to build brotherhood with a powerful group of like-minded men from around the world? Check out The Alliance and join me today. 

Lastly, check some more free resources: How To Quit Porn | Anger Meditation | How To Lead In Your Relationship

 

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Talking points: male isolation and “lostness”, dating, dating apps, relationships, redpill, AI

AJ, John and I covered a lot of ground, my friends. I’ve been following along with their work for a while and was recently on their podcast, The Art of Charm. Check the timestamps to see just how wide the net is!

This is a great episode to listen to if you’re wondering about some of the challenges younger men seem to be facing, what’s shifted for them compared to the GenX and millennial experience, and whether or not there’s hope.

00:03:12.000 – AJ’s defining moment

00:06:14.700 – John’s defining moment

00:12:57.500 – What’s changed for men since AJ and John started?

00:22:10.500 – Male isolation is increasing. Why?

00:40:43.00 – The shifting male archetype

00:47:23.500 – Good relationships with other men is a status signal

00:58:03.000 – Is AI going to impact mating and dating?

01:02:16.500 – What are some key foundations to an intimate relationship?

01:09:24.750 – Is there hope for young men?

AJ and John, through The Art of Charm, provide training and personal coaching for activating your ability to attract the right people, create meaningful relationships, and reach greater levels of success in your life. These programs include the strategies they’ve used over the last 15+ years to put more than 9,100 people into the fast lane.

Connect with AJ and John

-Website: https://theartofcharm.com/

-Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theartofcharm/

-Twitter: https://twitter.com/TheArtOfCharm

-Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1894473717446171/

-Podcast: https://theartofcharm.com/podcast/

This podcast is brought to you by Organifi! Plant-based nutrition that’s science-backed, high quality, and something I use literally every day. Hit up the link for 20% off your next purchase here: https://www.organifi.com/mantalks

Pick up my brand-new book, Men’s Work: A Practical Guide To Face Your Darkness, End Self-Sabotage, And Find Freedom: https://mantalks.com/mens-work-book/

Enjoy the podcast? If so, please leave a review on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, or Podchaser. It helps us get into the ears of new listeners, expand the ManTalks Community, and help others find the tools and training they’re looking for. And don’t forget to subscribe on Apple Podcasts | Google Podcasts  | Spotify

Looking to build brotherhood with a powerful group of like-minded men from around the world? Check out The Alliance and join me today. 

Lastly, check some more free resources: How To Quit Porn | Anger Meditation | How To Lead In Your Relationship

 

See <a…

Talking points: masculinity, discipline, purpose

How’s that for a spicy title?

This is a look at some common behaviors and patterns I’ve seen in men overall, clients I’ve worked with, and my own life. Patterns that erode our capacity to truly live, lead, and love.

01:31 – We lack impulse control

04:06 – We chase p***y over purpose

08:42 – We don’t clarify our values, and we don’t say no to ourselves

09:35 – We pick the wrong partner

12:26 – We settle for an “okay” career or business

17:10 – We lack like-minded men that our willing to challenge us

21:21 – We haven’t prioritized seeing what our body is capable of

24:23 – We choose domestication over discipline

26:15 – We don’t take money seriously

30:11 – We disconnect from a sense of wonder

This podcast is brought to you by Organifi! Plant-based nutrition that’s science-backed, high quality, and something I use literally every day. Hit up the link for 20% off your next purchase here: https://www.organifi.com/mantalks

Pick up my brand-new book, Men’s Work: A Practical Guide To Face Your Darkness, End Self-Sabotage, And Find Freedom: https://mantalks.com/mens-work-book/

Enjoy the podcast? If so, please leave a review on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, or Podchaser. It helps us get into the ears of new listeners, expand the ManTalks Community, and help others find the tools and training they’re looking for. And don’t forget to subscribe on Apple Podcasts | Google Podcasts  | Spotify

Looking to build brotherhood with a powerful group of like-minded men from around the world? Check out The Alliance and join me today. 

Lastly, check some more free resources: How To Quit Porn | Anger Meditation | How To Lead In Your Relationship

 

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Talking points: gender, gender equality, alpha males, alpha females, violence, culture, psychology

I’ve been following Frans’ work for a while, and have admired how dedicated he is to his work and to uncovering the complexity of primates. This was such an enjoyable and fascinating conversation!

This episode is a compelling look at just how complex and nuanced something like gender can be, from one of THE world’s top primatologists. With more and more pressure to outsource your opinions, your arguments, and your beliefs to the fastest talking pundit, it’s more important than ever to take a step back, breathe, and check the science.

Dr. Frans B. M. de Waal is a Dutch/American biologist and primatologist known for his work on the behavior and social intelligence of primates. His first book, Chimpanzee Politics (1982) compared the schmoozing and scheming of chimpanzees involved in power struggles with that of human politicians. Ever since, de Waal has drawn parallels between primate and human behavior, from peacemaking and morality to culture. His scientific work has been published in hundreds of technical articles in journals such as Science, Nature, Scientific American, and outlets specialized in animal behavior. His popular books — translated into twenty languages — have made him one of the world’s most visible primatologists. His latest books are The Age of Empathy (2009), and The Bonobo and the Atheist (2013). Two recent edited volumes are The Primate Mind (2012) and Evolved Morality (2014).

De Waal is C. H. Candler Professor in the Psychology Department of Emory University and Director of the Living Links Center at the Yerkes National Primate Research Center, in Atlanta, Georgia. Since 2013, he is a Distinguished Professor (Universiteitshoogleraar) at Utrecht University. He has been elected to the (US) National Academy of Sciences, the American Academy of Arts and Sciences, and the Royal Dutch Academy of Sciences. In 2007, he was selected by Time as one of The Worlds’ 100 Most Influential People Today, and in 2011 by Discover as among 47 (all time) Great Minds of Science. Being editor-in-chief of the journal Behaviour, de Waal has stepped in the footsteps of Niko Tinbergen, one of the founders of ethology.

His latest research concerns empathy and cooperation, inequity aversion and social cognition in chimpanzees, bonobos, and other species. He and his students have pioneered studies on how behavior is culturally transmitted in the primates, whether elephants recognize themselves in mirrors, how primates react to unequal reward divisions, how well primates spontaneously cooperate, and whether bonobo orphans are as emotionally affected by their trauma as human orphans.

Connect with Frans:

-Book: Different: Gender Through The Eyes Of A Primatologist: https://amzn.to/3K4MvLA
-TED Talk: Moral Behavior In Animals: https://www.ted.com/talks/frans_de_waal_moral_behavior_in_animals

This podcast is brought to you by Organifi! Plant-based nutrition that’s science-backed, high quality, and something I use literally every day. Hit up the link for 20% off your next purchase here: https://www.organifi.com/mantalks

Pick up my brand-new book, Men’s Work: A Practical Guide To Face Your Darkness, End Self-Sabotage, And Find Freedom: https://mantalks.com/mens-work-book/

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Talking points: dating apps, selection preferences, statistics, what to do

I don’t know the specific number of people actually satisfied with the modern dating scene, but given what I’ve read and researched, it’s a VERY small number. What happened, and what can men do?

In this mini-ep, I dig into some statistics around modern dating, how it’s been a growing shift for a while now, and what young men can do about it instead of giving in to cynicism, misogyny, or victimhood.

[00:00] The stats and what women seem to want.

[03:58] Women’s selection preferences mean their pool of eligible men is shrinking.

[06:27] Even I noticed this back in the day.

[08:02] The data can be overwhelming; what are the consequences of that?

[11:21] Prioritize male friendships. Go out and do things. Here’s why.

[15:33] Don’t allow yourself to read data like this and become the victim.

[16:24] How Quinn Mossmacher in White Lotus seems like the epitomization of what many young men are experiencing.

This podcast is brought to you by Organifi! Plant-based nutrition that’s science-backed, high quality, and something I use literally every day. Hit up the link for 20% off your next purchase here: https://www.organifi.com/mantalks

Pick up my brand-new book, Men’s Work: A Practical Guide To Face Your Darkness, End Self-Sabotage, And Find Freedom: https://mantalks.com/mens-work-book/

Enjoy the podcast? If so, please leave a review on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, or Podchaser. It helps us get into the ears of new listeners, expand the ManTalks Community, and help others find the tools and training they’re looking for.

And don’t forget to subscribe on Apple Podcasts | Google Podcasts  | Spotify

Looking to build brotherhood with a powerful group of like-minded men from around the world? Check out The Alliance and join me today. 

Lastly, check some more free resources: How To Quit Porn | Anger Meditation | How To Lead In Your Relationship

 

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Talking points: vision quests, initiation, culture, ritual

Do things like vision quests and ceremony actually DO anything? Should they? What does it mean to “connect to a place”? What happens to a man when he’s immersed in nature—without a phone or a to-do list or even a destination? These are some of the wonderings I had with Mr. Darren Silver in this fascinating and enjoyable conversation. I’m a big believer in getting everything, not just men, out into the wild occasionally to reconnect with the non-human, and Darren shows us just how fruitful that can be.

Darren Silver, MA, is a rite of passage guide, Nature-Connected Coach, ceremonialist, and innovative educator. He has over a decade of experience working with ritual, wilderness living skills, and guiding transformational experiences residentially and internationally. A gifted storyteller and apprentice to the old myths, Darren weaves the power of the natural world, vision, and community in devotion to the remembrance of regenerative culture. 

Connect with Darren

-Website: https://www.darrensilver.earth/

-Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ds.silver/

This podcast is brought to you by Organifi! Plant-based nutrition that’s science-backed, high quality, and something I use literally every day. Hit up the link for 20% off your next purchase here: https://www.organifi.com/mantalks

Pick up my brand-new book, Men’s Work: A Practical Guide To Face Your Darkness, End Self-Sabotage, And Find Freedom: https://mantalks.com/mens-work-book/

Enjoy the podcast? If so, please leave a review on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, or Podchaser. It helps us get into the ears of new listeners, expand the ManTalks Community, and help others find the tools and training they’re looking for.

And don’t forget to subscribe on Apple Podcasts | Google Podcasts  | Spotify

Looking to build brotherhood with a powerful group of like-minded men from around the world? Check out The Alliance and join me today. 

Lastly, check some more free resources: How To Quit Porn | Anger Meditation | How To Lead In Your Relationship

 

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One of biggest traps in anyone’s healing journey is the idea that it’s linear and rational. Yeah, you need tactics and plans, but if you go in thinking healing of ANY kind is like a recipe for cookies, you’re not gonna have a good time.

This is where the archetypal and symbolic power of myth comes in. Have a listen.

This podcast is brought to you by Organifi! Plant-based nutrition that’s science-backed, high quality, and something I use literally every day. Hit up the link for 20% off your next purchase here: https://www.organifi.com/mantalks

Pick up my brand-new book, Men’s Work: A Practical Guide To Face Your Darkness, End Self-Sabotage, And Find Freedom: https://mantalks.com/mens-work-book/

Enjoy the podcast? If so, please leave a review on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, or Podchaser. It helps us get into the ears of new listeners, expand the ManTalks Community, and help others find the tools and training they’re looking for.

And don’t forget to subscribe on Apple Podcasts | Google Podcasts  | Spotify

Looking to build brotherhood with a powerful group of like-minded men from around the world? Check out The Alliance and join me today. 

Lastly, check some more free resources: How To Quit Porn | Anger Meditation | How To Lead In Your Relationship

 

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Talking points: breath work, balance, burnout, stress and the brain, hustle culture, children, digital detoxing

It’s a very demanding jungle out there. In a culture that seems to thrive on your being burnt out, how do you fight back? Can you? I sat down with my old friend Adam Hart this week to cover exactly that.

Many of Adam’s clients compare his work to a finding the “Fountain of Youth” as they regularly break free from self sabotage, fatigue and unhealthy behaviours that they have been stuck in for you years.

Adam specializes in helping people ignite their full potential by unlocking themselves from patterns of stress and anxiety and begin to master the mindset necessary for living a fulfilled and purposeful life.

With a degree in Sociology and accreditation by the Canadian Mental Health Association, Adam has coached hundreds of people over the past 15+ years as Founder of Clear Impact, established in 2005.

When Adam is not coaching, he can be found hanging out with his loving wife and two kids in the mountains of Squamish BC, Canada. Together they enjoy rock climbing, mountain biking, skiing, and foraging in nature.

Fun Fact: Adam loves playing hide and seek with his kids. Sometimes he even wins.

Connect with Adam

-To get a copy of Adam’s 6-step “Unleash Your Energy Roadmap” go to: https://training.clearimpact.io/roadmap

-Website: https://clearimpact.io/

-Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/adamhart/

This podcast is brought to you by Organifi! Plant-based nutrition that’s science-backed, high quality, and something I use literally every day. Hit up the link for 20% off your next here: https://www.organifi.com/mantalks

Pick up my brand new book! Men’s Work: A Practical Guide To Face Your Darkness, End Self-Sabotage, And Find Freedom: https://mantalks.com/mens-work-book/

Did you enjoy the podcast? If so, please leave us a review on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, or Podchaser. It helps us get into the ears of new listeners, expand the ManTalks Community, and help others find the self-leadership they’re looking for.

Are you looking to find purpose, navigate transition, or fix your relationships, all with a powerful group of men from around the world? Check out The Alliance and join me today. 

Check out our Facebook Page or the Men’s community.

Subscribe on Apple Podcasts | Google Podcasts  | Spotify

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Cue “Sweet Little Lies” by Fleetwood Mac, please.

Why DO we self-sabotage? Why do we spend the money we don’t have, break down the gym routine or go for the nastiest fast food—even after we’ve decided we’re stopping? I think one of the most popular reasons we’re given is actually pretty…wrong.

This podcast is brought to you by Organifi! Plant-based nutrition that’s science-backed, high quality, and something I use literally every day. Hit up the link for 20% off your next here: https://www.organifi.com/mantalks

Pick up my brand new book! Men’s Work: A Practical Guide To Face Your Darkness, End Self-Sabotage, And Find Freedom: https://mantalks.com/mens-work-book/

Did you enjoy the podcast? If so, please leave us a review on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, or Podchaser. It helps us get into the ears of new listeners, expand the ManTalks Community, and help others find the self-leadership they’re looking for.

Are you looking to find purpose, navigate transition, or fix your relationships, all with a powerful group of men from around the world? Check out The Alliance and join me today. 

Check out our Facebook Page or the Men’s community.

Subscribe on Apple Podcasts | Google Podcasts  | Spotify

For more episodes, visit us at ManTalks.com | Facebook | Instagram | Twitter   

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Talking points: working in/with the wild, initiation, trauma, what nature teaches you, masculinity

This has been one of my most anticipated guests of all time. Like, years. An incredible storyteller, a man with a mighty heart and passion for everything wilderness, this is an episode I encourage you to share with the men in your life. Seriously.

The wildlife and literacy activist Boyd Varty, author of the memoir Cathedral of the Wild, had an unconventional upbringing. Born to a family of conservationists, Boyd grew up on Londolozi Game Reserve in the South African wilderness, a place where man and nature strive for balance, where perils exist alongside wonders. Founded more than 90 years ago as a hunting ground, Londolozi was transformed into a nature reserve beginning in 1973 by Varty’s father and uncle, visionaries of the restoration movement. But it wasn’t just a sanctuary for the animals; it was also a place for ravaged land to flourish again and for the human spirit to be restored. When Nelson Mandela was released after 27 years of imprisonment, he came to the reserve to recover.

Since childhood, Boyd shared his home with lions, leopards, snakes, and elephants and has spent his life in apprenticeship to the wisdom of nature. Boyd survived a harrowing black mamba encounter, a debilitating bout with malaria, even a vicious crocodile attack, but his biggest challenge was a personal crisis of purpose. As a university student, he studied psychology and ecology, supplementing his education by learning martial arts in Thailand, hiking through the jungles of the Amazon, and apprenticing to a renowned tracker from the Shangaan tribe, deepening his intimate knowledge of the natural world. Boyd grew up speaking the local language and learning the true meaning of coexistence between people and with nature.

Connect with Boyd

-Website: https://boydvarty.com/

-Book: The Lion Tracker’s Guide To Life: https://boydvarty.com/book/the-lion-trackers-guide-to-life/

-Podcast: https://boydvarty.com/about/40-days-40-nights/

-Twitter: https://twitter.com/boydvarty

-Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/boyd_varty/

-Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/boydvartyinc/

 

This podcast is brought to you by Organifi! Plant-based nutrition that’s science-backed, high quality, and something I use literally every day. Hit up the link for 20% off your next here: https://www.organifi.com/mantalks

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