buffs WP

Talking points: attachment, relationships, intimacy

You’ve heard about attachment. Maybe you’ve discovered you or your partner (or both!) have a specific kind. Ok, cool. But what do you DO with that info? How do you move forward?

That’s exactly what Sarah Baldwin and I sat down to discuss. From the deep origins of our survival strategies, to their impact on intimacy, and how to work WITH it all and get some self-security going. Listen in.

(00:00:00) – What is a disconfirming experience?

(00:07:54) – How do our early experiences with attachment inform the partners we choose later?

(00:17:15) – Remember this is all subconscious, very human, and can be changed with work

(00:27:47) – What happens in someone’s body when they have a more anxious or avoidant attachment style

(00:35:38) – Insights on what to do if you’re avoidant or anxious

(00:43:33) – What CAN a securely attached relationship look like?

(00:50:57) – How does all of this impact intimacy?

Sarah Baldwin is a Somatic Experiencing Practitioner and trauma-trained Life Coach who specializes in helping individuals overcome emotional barriers and trauma. With training in somatic healing, polyvagal theory, and inner child work, she guides clients through a transformative process to achieve a more fulfilling life. Through multiple modalities, Sarah offers a comprehensive coaching approach that to fully support her clients’ growth and well-being, no matter where they’re at in life.

Connect with Sarah

-Website: https://www.sarahbaldwincoaching.com/

-Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sarahbcoaching/

-Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/Sarahbaldwincoaching/

***

Pick up my book, Men’s Work: A Practical Guide To Face Your Darkness, End Self-Sabotage, And Find Freedom: https://mantalks.com/mens-work-book/

Check out some free resources: How To Quit Porn | Anger Meditation | How To Lead In Your Relationship

Build brotherhood with a powerful group of like-minded men from around the world. Check out The Alliance. 

Enjoy the podcast? If so, please leave a review on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, or Podchaser. It helps us get into the ears of new listeners, expand the ManTalks Community, and help others find the tools and training they’re looking for. And don’t forget to subscribe on Apple Podcasts | Google Podcasts | Spotify

For more episodes, visit us at ManTalks.com | Facebook | Instagram | Twitter

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit <a…

Talking points: mindset, death, change

Alright, you’re past 30. Assuming you’re past the usual advice you get from all the corners of the internet, what’s next? 

Because all the “you need to make more money, you need to get to the gym, you need to wake up earlier” stuff is fine—don’t get me wrong—but it’s also entry-level work. Listen in for the harder stuff.

(00:00:00) – Intro and the first thing: regret

(00:03:10) – Don’t make your future self suffer because of who you’re being now

(00:06:06) – Death is right around the corner

(00:10:52) – Your unwillingness to find or create your definition of freedom is a kind of death, too

***

Pick up my book, Men’s Work: A Practical Guide To Face Your Darkness, End Self-Sabotage, And Find Freedom: https://mantalks.com/mens-work-book/

Check out some free resources: How To Quit Porn | Anger Meditation | How To Lead In Your Relationship

Build brotherhood with a powerful group of like-minded men from around the world. Check out The Alliance. 

Enjoy the podcast? If so, please leave a review on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, or Podchaser. It helps us get into the ears of new listeners, expand the ManTalks Community, and help others find the tools and training they’re looking for. And don’t forget to subscribe on Apple Podcasts | Google Podcasts | Spotify

For more episodes, visit us at ManTalks.com | Facebook | Instagram | Twitter

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Talking points: grief, loss, relationships, masculinity, anger

I met David at a psychotherapy symposium a while back, and it wasn’t long before we were sharing some of the things we’ve grieved. He just has that calm yet strong presence. He’s also, of course, an absolute expert therapist. We dig into everything loss in this episode; how the 5 stages actually work, what death does both for and to us, and much, much more. This is absolutely an episode to share with someone you feel could use it.

(00:00:00) – Intro, do men and women grieve differently, and the toll of not grieving

(00:06:34) – Why unprocessed grief manifests as anger, anxiety, and more

(00:11:10) – What brought David into grief work, the five stages, and where people get stuck

(00:24:43) – On the loss of David’s son

(00:32:12) – Does grief reshape identity, and the different ways of moving through it

(00:35:50) – How to move through grief, and discerning when to “live again”

(00:42:51) – David’s take on death denial, living currently, and how death challenges our assumptions

(00:50:43) – The sixth stage of grief, and the nuances of meaning after loss

David Kessler is one of the world’s foremost experts on grief and loss. His experience with thousands of people on the edge of life and death has taught him the secrets to living a happy and fulfilled life, even after life’s tragedies. He is the author of six books, including the new bestselling book, Finding Meaning: The Sixth Stage of Grief. He co-authored two books with Elisabeth Kubler Ross, including On Grief and Grieving updated her 5 stages for grief. His first book, The Needs of The Dying received praise from Saint (Mother) Teresa.

David’s personal experience as a child witnessing a mass shooting while his mother was dying in a hospital helped him begin his journey. For most of his life, David has taught physicians, nurses, counselors, police, and first responders about the end of life, trauma, and grief. He facilitates talks, workshops and retreats for those experiencing grief. However, despite his vast knowledge on grief, his life was turned upside down by the sudden death of his twenty-one-year-old son. It inspired him to write his newest book, Finding Meaning.

David’s volunteer work includes being an LAPD Specialist Reserve for traumatic events as well as having served on the Red Cross’s disaster services team. He worked for over a decade in a three-hospital system, and was even trained for bio-terrorism events and epidemics/pandemics. 

Connect with David

-Website: https://grief.com/

-Book: Finding Meaning: The Sixth Stage of Grief: https://grief.com/sixth-stage-of-grief/

-Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/iamdavidkessler/

-Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/IamDavidKessler/

-YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/user/davidkesslerongrief

***

This episode is also brought to you by BetterHelp. Easily match with a therapist who can help you through the tough times and empower your best self. Visit BetterHelp.com/mantalks today to get 10% off your first month

Pick up my book, Men’s Work: A Practical Guide To Face Your Darkness, End Self-Sabotage, And Find Freedom:<a…

Talking points: self-worth, mindset

This is a wildly simple fact, but so easy to miss. Self-esteem is built along the way, not something you find at the end of the work. Listen in.

(00:00:00) – Intro and real reason your self-esteem takes a hit

(00:03:14) – The secret hope

(00:07:16) – It’s that simple, and that hard

***

Pick up my book, Men’s Work: A Practical Guide To Face Your Darkness, End Self-Sabotage, And Find Freedom: https://mantalks.com/mens-work-book/

Check out some free resources: How To Quit Porn | Anger Meditation | How To Lead In Your Relationship

Build brotherhood with a powerful group of like-minded men from around the world. Check out The Alliance. 

Enjoy the podcast? If so, please leave a review on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, or Podchaser. It helps us get into the ears of new listeners, expand the ManTalks Community, and help others find the tools and training they’re looking for. And don’t forget to subscribe on Apple Podcasts | Google 

Podcasts | Spotify

For more episodes, visit us at ManTalks.com | Facebook | Instagram | Twitter

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Talking points: stuckness, energy, trauma

Back in May, this anonymous guest came to me trying to solve what’s blocking him from making important decisions and taking action. We uncovered a traumatic event that started this, but that’s just the start of the process. Here are the next steps in understanding and healing this man’s trauma and helping him move forward.

Strongly encourage you to check out part 1 here: https://link.chtbl.com/VaiRj0Oy

(00:00:00) – Intro and catchup: the feeling of stuck-ness

(00:12:00) – What punishment is stuck-ness protecting you from?

(00:20:17) – Learning that feelings and energy can be moved

(00:32:28) – An assignment for my guest to help him move forward

***

This ep was brought to you by Chubbies. Your summer wardrobe awaits! Get 20% off @chubbies with the code mantalks at https://www.chubbiesshorts.com/mantalks #chubbiespod

Pick up my book, Men’s Work: A Practical Guide To Face Your Darkness, End Self-Sabotage, And Find Freedom: https://mantalks.com/mens-work-book/

Check out some free resources: How To Quit Porn | Anger Meditation | How To Lead In Your Relationship

Build brotherhood with a powerful group of like-minded men from around the world. Check out The Alliance. 

Enjoy the podcast? If so, please leave a review on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, or Podchaser. It helps us get into the ears of new listeners, expand the ManTalks Community, and help others find the tools and training they’re looking for. And don’t forget to subscribe on Apple Podcasts | Google Podcasts | Spotify

For more episodes, visit us at ManTalks.com | Facebook | Instagram | Twitter

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Talking points: routines, mindset

I’m serious when I say this changed my life—and that’s coming from someone that hated mornings in general. It took a long time to turn into a habit, but it was absolutely worth it. Listen in.

(00:00:00) – Intro and first step: actually get out of bed. Early. Here’s how to make it easier

(00:05:57) – Drink a LOT of water right when you get up, and get the double S: stretch and sunlight

(00:08:38) – Breathwork, and then 1 of 2 different workouts

(00:11:20) – Face the cold, and journal (recommended: stream of consciousness journaling)

(00:14:46) – The final and most important piece: connection

***

Pick up my book, Men’s Work: A Practical Guide To Face Your Darkness, End Self-Sabotage, And Find Freedom: https://mantalks.com/mens-work-book/

Check out some free resources: How To Quit Porn | Anger Meditation | How To Lead In Your Relationship

Build brotherhood with a powerful group of like-minded men from around the world. Check out The Alliance. 

Enjoy the podcast? If so, please leave a review on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, or Podchaser. It helps us get into the ears of new listeners, expand the ManTalks Community, and help others find the tools and training they’re looking for. And don’t forget to subscribe on Apple Podcasts | Google 

Podcasts | Spotify

For more episodes, visit us at ManTalks.com | Facebook | Instagram | Twitter

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Talking points: PTSD, trauma, intimacy, relationships

It’s hard sometimes to know where to begin when it comes to traumatic experiences. Even harder when they’re PTSD-level, or secretly impact your relationships/intimacy/work life. Which is exactly why I’m grateful folks like Dr. Frank, who live at the intersection of cutting-edge research, lived experience, and calm strength.

We dive right into WHY these things happen and how they’re stored in the body and mind, offering practical advice throughout. Strongly recommend you listen to this one!

(00:00:00) – What can neurobiology teach us about PTSD?

(00:06:20) – What are the symptoms of PTSD, and why disassociation, derealization, and depersonalization happen

(00:16:31) – Where do you even begin getting a handle on PTSD?

(00:23:13) – How Dr. Frank works with men on shame, whether they’re the shamer or the shamed

(00:32:29) – How trauma impacts sex and intimacy

(00:45:44) – Where men should start exploring their sexual potency

(00:51:14) – The event that started it all for Dr. Frank

Frank Anderson, MD, is a world-renowned trauma treatment expert, Harvard-trained psychiatrist, and psychotherapist. He is the acclaimed author of Transcending Trauma, recently released memoir, To Be Loved: A Story of Truth, Trauma, and Transformation, and the coauthor of Internal Family Systems Skills Training Manual. As a global speaker on the treatment of trauma and dissociation, he’s passionate about teaching brain-based psychotherapy and integrating current neuroscience knowledge with Internal Family Systems (IFS). Dr. Anderson is the co-founder of The Trauma Institute and Trauma Informed Media, organizations that promote trauma awareness, education, integration, and healing. He is a lead trainer at the IFS Institute under Richard Schwartz and has a long affiliation with Bessel van der Kolk and the Trauma Research Foundation. Dr. Anderson maintains a private practice in Harvard, MA, where he lives with his husband and two sons.

Connect with Frank

-Website: https://www.frankandersonmd.com/

-NEW Book: To Be Loved: https://www.amazon.com/Be-Loved-Story-Trauma-

Transformation/dp/1962305112

-Trauma Institute Website: https://www.traumainstitute.com/

-Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/frank_andersonmd/

-Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/mdfrankanderson

-YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/FrankAndersonMD

***

Say no to subscriptions—and yes to a razor that’ll last you a lifetime. Visit HENSONSHAVING.com/MANTALKS to pick the razor for you and use code MANTALKS. You’ll get two years’ worth of blades free with your razor—just make sure to add them to your cart.

This episode is also brought to you by BetterHelp. Get matched easily with a therapist who can empower your best self. Visit BetterHelp.com/mantalks today to get 10% off your first month

Pick up my book, Men’s Work: A Practical Guide To Face Your Darkness, End Self-Sabotage, And Find Freedom: https://mantalks.com/mens-work-book/

Check out some free resources: How To Quit Porn | Anger Meditation |<a…

Talking points: monogamy, relationships, culture

Well, can they? This started with me wondering why certain men who are notorious for sleeping around are suddenly hopping on the monogamy train, and ended with me hitting the record button and getting curious.

And honestly, this is way more complicated than a binary “men must/can or must not/can’t be faithful partners”. Listen in and let me know your thoughts.

(00:00:00) – Intro and why I’m diving into this

(00:05:41) – Where does the idea that men CAN’T be monogamous come from?

(00:14:59) – Monogamous cultures can have benefits, even though modernity seems to disincentivize it

(00:16:22) – Most men ultimately prefer monogamy, but there are underlying issues

***

Pick up my book, Men’s Work: A Practical Guide To Face Your Darkness, End Self-Sabotage, And Find Freedom: https://mantalks.com/mens-work-book/

Check out some free resources: How To Quit Porn | Anger Meditation | How To Lead In Your Relationship

Build brotherhood with a powerful group of like-minded men from around the world. Check out The Alliance. 

Enjoy the podcast? If so, please leave a review on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, or Podchaser. It helps us get into the ears of new listeners, expand the ManTalks Community, and help others find the tools and training they’re looking for. And don’t forget to subscribe on Apple Podcasts | Google 

Podcasts | Spotify

For more episodes, visit us at ManTalks.com | Facebook | Instagram | Twitter

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Talking points: sex, technique, communication, relationships

From the foundational ideas to simple practices you can start literally right now, this episode has it all. Deeply appreciate the wildly intelligent insight and practical advice here, courtesy of intimacy and relationship coach Caitlin V Neal. She says the V stands for Victorious; listen to this and I’m pretty sure you’ll be feeling victorious yourself.

(00:00:00) – Intro, foundational pieces to a great sex life, and how to start those uncomfortable conversations

(00:11:03) – An incredible framework for communicating sexual issues

(00:17:35) – The best way to create arousal for your partner, and “erotic blueprints”

(00:26:38) – Responsive vs spontaneous desire, and helping your partner articulate what they want

(00:37:59) – Techniques specifically for men

(00:45:34) – The role and importance of breath for men

(00:52:55) – Meditation + masturbation

As a firm believer in the transformative power of sexual empowerment, Caitlin V takes a holistic approach to coaching, addressing not only physical techniques but also emotional and psychological factors that influence our sexual experiences. Through personalized coaching sessions, she guides clients on a journey of self-discovery, helping them overcome obstacles, embrace their desires, and unleash their inner sexual goddess or god.

But Caitlin V’s impact extends far beyond the individual. With a mission to destigmatize sexuality and promote healthy, fulfilling relationships, she shares her knowledge and insights through online programs speaking engagements, and media appearances. Whether she’s discussing the latest trends in sexual wellness or challenging societal norms, Caitlin V is a passionate advocate for sexual liberation and empowerment.

Connect with Caitlin

-Website: https://caitlinvneal.com/

-YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@CaitlinV

-Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/caitlinvictoriousx

-TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@caitlinvictoriousx_

***

Pick up my book, Men’s Work: A Practical Guide To Face Your Darkness, End Self-Sabotage, And Find Freedom: https://mantalks.com/mens-work-book/

Check out some free resources: How To Quit Porn | Anger Meditation | How To Lead In Your Relationship

Build brotherhood with a powerful group of like-minded men from around the world. Check out The Alliance. 

Enjoy the podcast? If so, please leave a review on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, or <a…

Talking points: mental health, mindset, diet,

Whether you’re just starting out with “the work” or you’ve snapped up a thousand books and podcasts, it pays to go back to the high-level now again again. This is a bird’s-eye view of my framework on mental health, plus straightforward tactics that have been proven time and again by science, history, and my own personal experience. Dig in.

(00:00:00) – Intro, and defining “mental health”

(00:05:03) – My basic framework for what produces suffering

(00:09:00) – Anxiety and energy

(00:13:54) – Seriously, working out and meditation should be prioritized

(00:16:25) – Limit your sugar, gluten, and caffeine

(00:18:13) – Sleep, mother****er

(00:21:58) – Social connection and body/breathwork practices

(00:24:49) – Your body stores what you’re not conscious of

***

Pick up my book, Men’s Work: A Practical Guide To Face Your Darkness, End Self-Sabotage, And Find Freedom: https://mantalks.com/mens-work-book/

Check out some free resources: How To Quit Porn | Anger Meditation | How To Lead In Your Relationship

Build brotherhood with a powerful group of like-minded men from around the world. Check out The Alliance. 

Enjoy the podcast? If so, please leave a review on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, or Podchaser. It helps us get into the ears of new listeners, expand the ManTalks Community, and help others find the tools and training they’re looking for. And don’t forget to subscribe on Apple Podcasts | Google 

Podcasts | Spotify

For more episodes, visit us at ManTalks.com | Facebook | Instagram | Twitter

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit <a…

Talking points: neurology, biology, trauma, mindset

This was one of the most informative episodes I’ve ever recorded. As expected of Mastin Kipp, an old friend and incredible coach. We covered everything nervous system—and how there may be what you might call a “unified theory of trauma”. Wildly grateful for this one! Note: we had some audio trouble for the first bit, but it cleans up after minute 12!

(00:00:00) – Intro, and the fragmentation problem in therapy and coaching

(00:08:47) – Mastin’s take on trauma, and the role of the nervous system

(00:29:44) – Do men relate, store, and deal with trauma differently?

(00:37:11) – Where do you as a man begin working with trauma—and where you don’t

(00:49:13) – What if you’re worried it’ll mess with your productivity/relationship/abilities?

(00:56:11) – How to simply improve your baseline wellbeing

Mastin Kipp, life coach, entrepreneur, author and self-taught expert on the human mind who bridges the gap between therapy, coaching, and personal development. With over two decades of experience, he combines psychological research, neuroscience, evidence-backed concepts and practical tools to guide individuals in unlocking their full potential to live a life with passion and purpose. Through his international personal development company, Functional Life Coaching, Mastin has impacted over two million people in 100+ countries with his writing, online courses, seminars, and retreats.

Connect with Mastin

-New Book: Reclaim Your Nervous System: https://www.amazon.com/Reclaim-Your-Nervous-System-Post-Traumatic/dp/1401979157

-Website: https://mastinkipp.com/

-Functional Life Coaching: https://mastinkipp.com/what-is-functional-life-coaching/

-Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mastinkipp/

-Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/mastinkipp/

-YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/mastinkipp

***

This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a shot; it could be what changes everything. Visit https://betterhelp.com/mantalks to get 10% off your first month.

Pick up my book, Men’s Work: A Practical Guide To Face Your Darkness, End Self-Sabotage, And Find Freedom: https://mantalks.com/mens-work-book/

Check out some free resources: How To Quit Porn | Anger Meditation | How To Lead In Your Relationship

Build brotherhood with a powerful group of like-minded men from around the world. Check out The Alliance. 

Enjoy the podcast? If so, please leave a review on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, or Podchaser. It helps us get into the ears of new listeners, expand the ManTalks Community, and help others find the tools and training they’re looking for. And don’t forget to subscribe on Apple Podcasts | Google 

<a…

Talking points: fatherhood, mindset, perfectionism

To many of you, I’m still pretty new to the dad game, but it’s honestly boggled my mind how much being one has changed my life and perspective on things. These are just a few of the things I’ve learned—or you could say my son has taught me.

00:00:00) – Intro, and number one: masculinity is modeled

(00:07:51) – “I would die for my kids, but I won’t live my life for them”

(00:10:21) – Your anger as a man is necessary. Your aggression is not.

(00:13:48) – Structure and limitation actually give you freedom

(00:16:27) – The aim is not perfection, the aim is progress

***

This episode was brought to you by Mando. Control Body Odor ANYWHERE with @shop.mando and get $5 off your Starter Pack (that’s over 40% off) with promo code MANTALKS. Head to https://shopmando.com #mandopod

Pick up my book, Men’s Work: A Practical Guide To Face Your Darkness, End Self-Sabotage, And Find Freedom: https://mantalks.com/mens-work-book/

Check out some free resources: How To Quit Porn | Anger Meditation | How To Lead In Your Relationship

Build brotherhood with a powerful group of like-minded men from around the world. Check out The Alliance. 

Enjoy the podcast? If so, please leave a review on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, or Podchaser. It helps us get into the ears of new listeners, expand the ManTalks Community, and help others find the tools and training they’re looking for. And don’t forget to subscribe on Apple Podcasts | Google 

Podcasts | Spotify

For more episodes, visit us at ManTalks.com | Facebook | Instagram | Twitter

Learn more about your ad…