As I finished childhood and became an adult, there were people concerned that I would repeat the cycle of Childhood Domestic Violence (CDV) that plagued my youth and become an offender myself. I knew that I never would because I looked at CDV the same way as I did getting bullied throughout school. I hated feeling that way when someone mistreated me, so there was no way I could ever do that to someone else. However all of the information that has been shared in the mainstream media validates the fears those people had for me. Many kids grow up to become offenders themselves and the cycle continues for another generation.
I am blessed because I didn’t repeat the cycle and now as a father myself I can do my best to make sure my son and stepson never have to worry about violence in our home. Since I did overcome that adversity and never repeated the cycle, advocates, professionals, and other survivors ask me how I did it. It wasn’t through therapy, medication, or multiple classes and support groups. Don’t get me wrong. Those ways are fine but for me the answer is through fitness…specifically lifting weights.
Although I didn’t want to repeat the cycle of violence or bullying, I still was affected by the stress that was caused by both. I needed an aggressive way to get that stress out of my system but I didn’t want to do something that would hurt anyone else or myself. Lifting weights requires intensity and aggression, didn’t hurt anyone else or myself as long as I was careful, and can be positive for me because of the health and fitness benefits that lifting provided. It made perfect sense and it eventually opened doors for me to establish a career as a writer in the fitness industry.
My main point here is that instead of doing something that released my stress and aggression in a way that affected others negatively, I found a way that was positive and helped myself as well as others through my work. I could preach why you should commit to a fitness program for those reasons and many others but instead I want to implore you to find your own positive way to overcome any negative issues that are plaguing your mind and emotions because of whatever you faced in your past. Whether it’s violence, bullying, drug abuse, or anything else that has affected your life negatively, you can find a positive way to overcome the effects of them. It could be lifting weights, running, other sports, meditation, speaking, volunteering for a group in need, or anything that can benefit yourself and others without affecting anyone negatively. Whatever way it is for you, find it and commit to it fully because it can help you live a better life and may even help others so they don’t have to face the issues you’ve had to face. There is no more positive way to overcome negatives than that.
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Roger Lockridge is an adv
ocate and speaker who has worked for over 15 years on behalf of survivors of childhood domestic violence. His story was featured in the best selling book “Invincible: The Ten Lies You Learn Growing Up with Domestic Violence and the Truths to Set You Free”. He’s also an award-winning fitness writer whose work has been seen around the world. Email him at [email protected] and follow him on Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, and LinkedIn by searching for Roger Rock Lockridge.
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