Archives for September 2015

What Does Depression Feel Like and What Should You Do? With John Nieuwenburg

Episode: 012

John Nieuwenburg attempted suicide and talks on the importance of talking about your depression and seeking help.

 
Introduction:
John Nieuwenburg opens up in a very vulnerable way about his attempted suicide and depression on today’s show. John is an award-winning coach and a TedX speaker. He talks on what depression feels like, his recovery after his suicide attempt, and how other people can prevent what John has went through. Do not be afraid to talk about your depression and to seek help. The only way to come out of your darkness is by shining a light on it.
ManTalks Podcast on iTunes
Listen to it on iTunes
Mantalks Stitcher podcast
Listen to it on Stitcher
Key Takeaways:
[2:55] Who is John Nieuwenburg?
[7:55] What was life like for John before the age of 45?
[13:40] What makes a great coach?
[17:55] What type of work does John do?
[23:25] Why did John attempt suicide?
[25:45] What does depression feel like?
[34:00] We give depression power by not talking about it. Talk about your depression. [39:35] With depression, you feel like you’ve run out of options.
[45:00] Statistics on suicides in Canada says that 3 out of 4 suicides are men.
[48:10] What happened after John’s suicide attempt?
[51:40] Remember, ManTalks is hosting a full one day event on Nov 7th. [55:20] How can you help people who are suffering?
[58:10 The only way to come out of the darkness is by shining a light on it. [58:35] Should you take medication?
[1:01:50] Should you talk about depression with children?
[1:03:40] What does it mean to be a man today?
[1:05:50] Do you have a written definition of the best you can be? Affirmations are important. [1:09:00] What is John excited about today?
 
Mentioned In This Episode:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jNScHdMMw8E http://w5coaching.com
Darkness Visible by William Styron http://www.ted.com/talks/brene_brown_on_vulnerability?language=en

 
Music Credit:
J Parlange & Latenite Automatic (jesusparlange.com – lateniteautomatic.com)
 
Tweetables:
“Coaching by nature is the desire to teach.”
“Commit to the time, to the process, and the money takes care of itself.”
“Mental disease often shows up as behavioral issues. We often think they’re character flaws.”
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“You’re not as alone as you think you might be.”

Man Of The Week – Light Watkins

Trust is one of the most critical, yet fragile, facets in every relationship we have. It can often be the deciding factor that determines how relationships unfold and how much we choose to invest. This weeks Man Of The Week, Light Watkins, learned this lesson from the very young age of seven, when he felt heavy discouragement because his coach did not trust him.
Today, Light is a meditation expert, a published author, blogger and TEDx speaker that teaches meditation as a way to trigger happiness, one that is rooted in the trust and love we have for ourselves. He has personally taught over 2,000 people to meditate and is currently inviting people to join him on a meditation retreat in Costa Rica New Years 2016, or learn meditation in LA, NYC and Chicago

Age: 42

What do you do?
I’m an author, teacher, and founder of The Shine Movement.
Why do you do it?
When I was 29, I made a vow to follow my heart relentlessly. I knew that if I could do that, all of my other needs would be met.
How do you make a difference in the world?
I feel that it’s my responsibility to have blind trust in life — and in the moments when I’m able to do that, everything and everyone that I come into contact with benefits.
What are 3 defining moments in your life?
1) When I was 7, my little league baseball coach instructed me not to swing, because he was afraid I would strike out. That experience taught me what discouragement feels like, and I vowed to never be that person who discourages people from taking a chance.
2) Discovering the Conversation with God books when I was 26 — it was my gateway into becoming a spiritual seeker.
3) Meeting my meditation teacher when I was 29.
What is your life purpose?
To continue following my heart and trusting in life.
How did you tap into it?
I believe it’s inherent within each of us. What I’ve found is that daily meditation refines my ability to detect heart messages with greater accuracy.
Who is your Role-Model or Mentor?
My father, an attorney, is my role model. He’s always been a hard worker, sharp as a whip, and one of the most insightful people I’ve ever met. He’s never lost a case.
Do you have any daily habits? If so, what are they?
Daily meditation. Exercise. Laughing.
When do you know your work/life balance is off?
When I’m reluctant to receive — it means I haven’t been giving enough.
Vulnerability is a challenge for most men – share a vulnerable moment from your life with us.
The process of accepting a new name, “Light,” and deciding to go through with changing it ten years ago.
What did you learn from it?
I learned that Westerners are the only culture to keep the name they were given at birth, and I received further confirmation that when you follow through with what’s in your heart, you always end up in a better position than you imagined for yourself.
If you are or were going to be a mentor for another man, what is one piece of advice you would give him?
Always leave a situation or relationship better than you found it, including your own body and life.
How do you be the best partner (Boyfriend/Husband- past or present)
When the going gets tough, remember that women communicate very differently from men (and often have different priorities as well), so instead of resisting those differences, learn to appreciate and honor them.
Do you support any Charities or Not-for-profits? (Which one(s) and why?)
I started The Shine Movement in Los Angeles as a community of micro-philanthropy. In other words, inspire a lot of people to use what they have now to make a difference on a local level.
If your life had a theme song, what would it be?
Bobby McFerrin – Don’t Worry Be Happy
Where do you see yourself in 3 years?
Still teaching and writing, and hopefully being a father
What legacy do you want to leave for future generations?
The truth about happiness — that it comes from within
What One book would you recommend for any Man?
My book, The Inner Gym: A 30-Day Workout for Strengthening Happiness. It’s a practical how-to guide for anyone who wants to stabilize happiness from the inside-out.
 
If you know a Man that is making a positive impact on the world, we would love to hear from you! Contact us at [email protected]

Vikram Vij. Its all about finding passion.

Episode: 010

Vikram Vij talks on his core beliefs, his frustrations with prejudice, and striving for freedom.

 
Introduction:
Vikram Vij is an Indian-born Canadian chef and the co-owner of Vij’s Restaurant in Vancouver. Vikram brings his extreme optimism and passion for cooking right in to this podcast. He says passion is like your first love and your focus should be your second love. When these two loves are combined, it’s a great recipe for success. Vikram shares openly the challenges he has faced and his frustrations with prejudice. He also talks on the importance of freedom and respecting everyone, no matter what social class they may be.
ManTalks Podcast on iTunes
Listen to it on iTunes
Mantalks Stitcher podcast
Listen to it on Stitcher
Key Takeaways:
[1:25] Who is Vikram Vij?
[5:50] What does passion mean to Vikram?
[8:30] Why did Vikram go to Austria?
[11:15] Failure is a part of our lives.
[11:45] There’s no formula for success.
[13:30] What kind of challenges has Vikram experienced?
[19:00] What’s Vikram’s definition of success?
[20:20] Vikram talks about his mentors.
[23:15] What are Vikram’s core beliefs?
[28:10] Connor and Roger tell you about the 1-day event ManTalks will be hosting and how you can win free tickets.
[32:00] What people thrive for in life is freedom.
[35:50] Vikram is often frustrated by prejudice.
[38:45] Best resources? Travel the world.
[42:55] What does it mean to be a man today?
[48:00] One piece of advice? Respect everyone.
[49:40] What kind of legacy would Vikram like to leave?
[51:55] What’s Vikram excited about today?
[56:25] Love what you do and don’t take things for granted.
 

Mentioned In This Episode:
https://mantalks.com/
Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill.
http://www.vijs.ca/
https://twitter.com/Vijs_restaurant
https://www.facebook.com/Vijs-174255645924082/timeline/

 
Music Credit:
J Parlange & Latenite Automatic (jesusparlange.com – lateniteautomatic.com)
 
Tweetables:
“Passion has to be your first love and focus has to be your second love.”
“The first love and second love have to match. They have to live together in order to create something.”
“There is no pill for success.”
“Anybody else can tell you this is wrong, but if you believe this is right, then you’re going to go for it.”

How Death Transformed My Life

The world changed when my son Zain joined our family on an early morning in June 2005. And I became a different man. Or so I told myself.
Once the flurry of excitement died down, it didn’t take long before he became a burden. Diaper changes, feeding, and constant exhaustion – it was all too much. Don’t get me wrong, I loved watching him grow up and enjoyed many moments of discovery and awe, but it was hard.
Too hard. And too much.
Obviously, I didn’t share that with the people around me. From the outside, my son’s arrival was absolutely amazing, and an incredible miracle celebrated by ecstatic new parents and loving relatives. He was (and is!) still loved and cherished.
The fact was that as thrilled I was to become a father, I wasn’t ready for the commitment. I buried myself at work, and my wife was the one who took care of most of my son’s needs; except the few times I helped out and played with him.
Now, I wasn’t a complete asshole – I did try to help out and supported my wife as best I could – but what I’m talking about was what’s happening inside. I wasn’t present.
You’re waiting for the moment when I totally changed and became the best dad ever, and we lived happily ever after, right?
Keep waiting.
I was waiting for that as well for what it seemed like forever. I kept telling myself that I’d get better at this parenting thing. It’d be better when Zain learned how to talk, or maybe when he grows up a little, or maybe when I learned more about being a better parent.
I did want to be a better father. I read, I researched, I attended workshops… And then I realized one thing –this is life, not work.
This was my life. Not some job. Nothing I could prepare for, or a meeting to attend and then leave. It’s life, and it happens every day.
What the heck does that mean?
Well, you’ve heard the saying, it’s about the journey, not the destination, right? If you’re anything like I was at that time, a workaholic entrepreneur – it was all about the destination. Why else would I be busting my ass at work every day? Wasn’t the point to work hard enough so that someday so I can finally relax and enjoy the real life?!
I forgot about the journey I was on. Life.
Work harder, faster, and better doesn’t work in life, because there is only one destination in life – death.
As a much as I don’t want to ever think about it, the ultimate destination of my life, the lives of everyone around me, and even my son’s life – is death.
It’s a tragic thing to say and probably the most terrifying thought to ever cross my mind. But it’s just a fact of life, nothing can change it, and nothing I do can make it go away.
Everyone lives, and everyone dies. It’s what happens between that counts.
This realization didn’t cause me to leave my job, or go on a journey of self-discovery somewhere in Nepal. I just started doing the things I thought I had time to do “later.”
Because I now know the final destination of life is death, there is no “later” really. However we might think otherwise, we don’t actually have all the time on the world.
There is no later. Only now. And life.
This realization transformed my life and I started doing the small things that made a huge difference both in my life and the lives of the people around me:
 
1. Never leave home sad or angry
OK, there are still times I do this. But hey, I’m human, and I make sure to call or text as soon as I come to my senses.
The bottom line is I make sure that when I leave home, I leave nothing behind but love for my son, daughter, and my amazing wife. If I die, I die happy and content that my last interaction with my family is filled with love.
 
2. Stop the world for the sake of what matters most
What matters most to you? Family, love, and relationships top most people’s lists.
If we have an issue at home, I throw myself into it. I help resolve the problem as best I can, and the rest of the world can wait.
Yes, this meant there are many times I arrive late to work (and I *do* let coworkers know I’m delayed) but it’s a small price to pay compared to knowing that the last time I was with my family we made things work.
 
3. Showcase love in every way at every opportunity
Love really does make the world go ‘round, and the little things really do count. They may be clichés, but they’re true. I learned this wisdom from my little girl, Julie. She’s six and makes a big deal out of everything, and it’s so freakin beautiful you could cry.
Now I find every opportunity to celebrate the little things with a kiss, a hug, or an uplifting word.
 
4. See the bad, but focus on the great
There are many bad things in our world today. Tragedies happen daily. Scandal is everywhere. I see these things on social media, the news, and popping up in conversations. I do not ignore them or discard them, I see them and acknowledge them.
But instead I choose to focus on what is great in the world. Where there’s sadness, there are people spreading joy; where there is hurt, there are people healing; and where there is hate, there are people that share love and care.
I choose to focus on what’s great because I believe that although we can’t end sadness, hurt or eradicate hate; we have the power to spread joy, heal and love each other.
That is our power as human beings.
 
5. Take action
Since there is no “later” anymore, I started taking action and making things happen. I started writing daily – books, articles and blog posts – and working on projects I love.
Every day I moved forward toward my goals, taking bold steps at work and saying yes to initiatives that are beyond my comfort zone.
 
The results speak for themselves. I live a much happier life, a life full of the beauty of the ordinary, the joy of living the moment, and the engaged presence in the lives of those who matter most to me.
The thought of death, as terrifying as it is, and as much as I want to keep it at bay, is a little less scary now, because with every moment I live I keep falling in love with my life and the people in it.
And love is forever.
 

Hussein Hallak is a serial entrepreneur with 22+ years of startup experience in strategy, branding, marketing, and growth. Hussein started 6 successful companies, worked on projects for Fortune 500 companies and World’s Top 100 Brands, and was featured in Forbes, BBC, and Entrepreneur. 

Currently Hussein is the Director of Strategy and Marketing at 3 Tier Logic, a shopper marketing and engagement software startup out of Vancouver, BC. Hussein is also the Director of Marketing at TEDxStanleyPark, Advisor at Spirit Games Ltd, Head Instructor – Lean Entrepreneur Program at LaunchAcademy and Founder of InspirationInbox.com.

Hussein lives to inspire possibility, to enable people, to achieve the remarkable.

Connect with him through his websiteFacebookLinkedInTwitterPinterest, and Instagram 

 

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