Masculinity

The Real Reason Men "Can’t Handle" Powerful Women

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The real reason women believe that men can’t handle our greatness? It gives us an excuse not to handle theirs.

 
When I first saw the headline, I balked a bit. Okay, a lot. Especially after clicking through and reading these ’10 reasons most men can’t handle a deep woman’. Because ‘deep women’ are honest! And know what they want! And are looking for a deep, intimate, real relationship!
 
In other words, the reasons are: because men are shallow, dishonest, distant, closed off, and incapable of real love. That’s what this viral article is really saying. And it’s not unique. It’s proliferated around the web, being republished over and over, in the few days since I first saw it, and there are thousands of others like it, with similar ideas about just how useless, unreliable, inherently disappointing, and frankly inferior men really are. The idea that most men can’t handle women, that men are letting us down, is everywhere these days.
 
Here’s the thing. These articles and ideas? They’re wrong. And they damage all of us in profoundly deep ways. In particular, these beliefs cause women to have terrible, unsatisfying and heartbreaking relationships with men.
 

This isn’t about men. It’s about women. It’s about unhealed pain. And these beliefs don’t just prevent healing that pain – they create even more of it.

 
Imagine an article titled ‘Most people can’t handle deep people.’ What would that really mean? It would mean that most people have difficulty meeting deep people where they are. Fully showing up, in the way that ‘deep’ people do, and want others to do, in the way that’s needed for true, satisfying intimacy.
 
In our culture, we have this story that men never show up for us. From the absent father and mid-life-crisis abandoner to the ‘best friend’ who secretly just wanted to get laid, the ghosting tinder date and the guy we lost our virginity to who didn’t know what a clitoris was, our very identity as women is shaped by stories of men letting us down.
 
Over, and over, and over.
 
Almost all of us have experienced that sense of abandonment, rejection and deep shame at some point in our lives. And in the context of a culture that tells the story that ‘good men are as rare as unicorns’, and that men are so unreliable, so unable to meet our needs that we must pretend we don’t need them, or need them ‘as much as a fish needs a bicycle’, that pain feels even more powerless, because it is tinged with fear.
 
The fear that no man will ever show up for us. That no man will ever provide us with what we need.
 
Now imagine an article titled ‘Most women can’t handle deep men.’ I don’t know about you, but I can already hear the outcry – that it’s misogyny, the hatred of women; that it’s just men who are angry they’ve lost a bit of power and privilege; that it’s sexist.
 
Those things are all correct. And it’s vital to understanding what happens when we as women believe that men will always let us down; to understanding why articles like the one mentioned go viral:
 

Because when we feel powerless, we have a choice. We can either look within, take our power back by taking responsibility for ourselves and our own actions, and heal… or we can blame someone else, and get angry.

 
The author of the original article wasn’t trying to be sexist against men. No, this belief doesn’t have hatred as it’s motivation – quite the opposite. It comes from powerlessness, which is based on fear that men will always let us down… And pain, from times that they have. It’s written from a place of woundedness, fear, and scarcity.
 
Not from a place of writing about reality.
 
Spoiler alert: men can handle deep, or strong, or smart, or otherwise powerful women just as well as women can handle powerful men.
 
But articles like that one, they act to confirm the belief, presented all around us, that men will never fully love us, for who we are, never give us what we need, never truly meet us.
 
And because we learn to believe that they can’t, our actions towards men change. We close our hearts, find what we expect, and end up in relationships where our deepness isn’t met, accepted and celebrated. It’s a self fulfilling prophecy, and a heartbreaking one: we learn to sabotage our relationships with men.
 
The truth is that, to the extent that individual men are able, based on maturity and experience, nine out of ten men are dying to share our real, deep emotional selves, to witness us, to be truly intimate. To be the one we choose, the one we give the chance to step up and be a great man, for the world, and for us.
 
Nine out of ten are so, so eager to do that. To love us. Truly and deeply. They won’t do it perfectly – no one can. But they will do it, they will give it their all, they will love us honestly.
 
If we let them.
__________
 
Hi! I’m Kathryn Hogan. If you liked this article, you’ll love my new book, which provides practical tools for overcoming the most common types of self sabotage. Your Big Life: Ground Rules to Get Unstuck and Stop Sabotaging Yourself, is coming now available! I’m a wellness and relationship coach, and author. I share powerful tools and mindful practices to help you live that Big, Rich, Satisfying life your heart knows you’re meant to be living.
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The Real Reason Men Lose Their Erection When Using A Condom

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That Awkward Moment When…

If you’re a man, you’ve probably experienced this. Everything is perfect, the foreplay is going great, and the stage is set for a throbbing, mind-blowing, heart-shattering lovemaking. Your erection is strong and powerful, and feeling it turns you on even more.
And then, that moment comes. Your lover looks at you sweetly but squarely in the eyes, and with a soft but firm voice says, “We need to use a condom.”
This makes perfect sense. The risk of STIs and/or pregnancy is real. So you’ve got to wear that condom.
But our genitals don’t understand logic. And, sometimes, it only takes a few seconds of this pause for your penis to soften. Her being sweet and comprehensive only makes things worse: something inside you tells you that you won’t be able to do it if you wear a condom.
I’ve gone through the same process. I used to consistently lose my erection whenever a woman asked me to wear a condom. It wasn’t pretty. I hate to admit it, but a couple of times I even lied to a partner, telling her that there were no condoms in the house, while I actually had plenty. I just was too scared of sexual failure. Boy, am I grateful that no one got an STI or got pregnant because of that dirty little lie of mine.
So why on Earth does this happen? Why do we men lose our erection because of condoms?

The Real Reason Condoms Turn Men Off…

You might try to fool yourself and others with explanations such as:

  • That you don’t feel enough pleasure with a condom.
  • That a condom squeezes your penis too much.
  • That the pause “takes the romance away”…

But deep in your heart, you know that those are not the real reasons.
As for sensitivity and comfort, you know well that your penis is not all that sensitive. In fact, the harder it is, the less sensitive it is. And as for the non-romanticism of the 2-minutes pause, you have fantasized or have been in way less romantic situations, where your erection stood strong and implacable.
So WHAT is the real reason why you lose your erection? And what can you do about it?
To answer this question, the first thing you need to understand is that your main sexual organ sits in between your ears or, if you prefer, inside your chest. It is your head and your heart that turn you on (or off).
So, the reason why we men lose our erection when a woman asks us to wear a condom is that some deeply uncomfortable thought and/or emotion arises in us in response to that request. And what might that thought or feeling be?
Although every man is different, that uncomfortable thought is virtually always a variation on the same theme: she asking you to wear a condom carries the message that she does not accept you inside her body. And this can be truly devastating for a man.

Some Truths About Male Sexuality

Men love to feel invited, welcomed, by a trusting lover that opens up to their force and thrust. When the body of a woman is welcoming, wet, inviting, this is a huge turn-on for a man. When the body and soul of a woman tense, close up, tighten – this is a turn-off.
Men deeply crave to feel accepted, welcomed, and trusted.
The request to wear a condom challenges that. It can seem to convey the following messages:

  • If you don’t wear it, I won’t let you inside me (you’re unwelcome)
  • I don’t trust you to be healthy, or to control your ejaculation (you’re not trusted)

This is the subterranean thought that runs into most men’s mind, and makes them lose their erection.
Understanding it is the first step towards liberating your sexuality from this blockage.
As a man, you need to realize that, even if you wear a condom, you are welcome and accepted. That she wants you just as badly. In fact, she wants you so badly that she wants to be fully trusting and surrendered. And in order for that to happen, she needs to feel safe. This conviction will take some time to build, but once it’s there, it will never leave you. Condoms won’t be an issue anymore.
In order to get there, the best thing to do is start practicing, both by yourself and with a partner.

Practicing By Yourself

Get familiar and friendly with condoms. Buy a pack of condoms and start experimenting. Wear a condom and play with yourself.
Now, I know that the condom instructions say that you should wear it only when you are fully erect. The reason they say this is that if your penis is not fully erect, then a condom can potentially slip away, which is not cool. But for now, you can forget about this. You are alone, and you can wear a condom even if your penis is completely flaccid. In fact, you should practice this skill. Wear a condom on your soft penis, and then stimulate your penis so that it becomes hard.
Familiarize yourself with the condom, and lose your aversion to it. This will be really useful once you practice with a partner.

Practicing With a Partner

This is potentially going to be scary, so you’ll need to set a firm intention: you won’t back off. You will wear a condom no matter what, whether you end up having intercourse or not.
Next time you have the opportunity, do not wait for your partner to propose using a condom. Once you have enjoyed your foreplay long enough, go ahead and say the magic phrase: “I’ll put on a condom now, just in case.”
That means that, whether you are going to penetrate your partner or not, you can wear a condom anyway and then continue with whatever you were doing. At some point you may even forget that you have a condom on.
Your partner also has a role in this. You can ask her to support you in a very simple way: by doing with your penis exactly what she would do with it if there were no condoms. Touching it, sucking it, teasing it—just as if that condom did not exist.
And now, if the moment is ripe for both of you, still wearing your condom, penetrate her. Don’t worry if your erection isn’t that strong. In that case, just make sure to hold the bottom of your condom with your fingers to make sure it doesn’t slip away. But do get yourself to the point where you can penetrate her while still wearing a condom.
This moment is a threshold, and after that, the rest will be much easier. The more you feel that things are going well, the more natural it will become to continue making love with a condom. You will notice that it isn’t all that different from not using it, and that wearing a condom will give both of you more confidence and a feeling of safety. Since you are practicing here, refrain from ejaculating inside your partner, even if you are wearing a condom. The purpose now is to gain confidence with condoms—not necessarily to have the hottest lovemaking of your life.
Every man on this planet should be able to make love with a condom, if necessary. We owe it to ourselves, and we owe it to our partners, men or women. Asking a partner not to use condoms just to protect our sexual pride is not an option. If two lovers decide to not use condoms, let that be a conscious decision, rather than a slippery workaround of a sexual blockage.
Have fun!
Read More By Raffaello Manacorda on the ManTalks Blog:
These 3 Expressions Will Destroy Your Sex and Love Life
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raffa_200x200Raffaello Manacorda (but you can call him Raffa, he likes that) is a Tantra teacher, author, and coach. After graduating with a degree in Philosophy, he spent more than a decade living in alternative communities and working as a radical activist. He discovered Tantra early in his twenties, and then went on to explore the deep secrets of sex and spirit. He is the creator of The Network of Love, an international workshop on conscious relationships, and a regular columnist for The Elephant Journal. His current obsession is human evolution in all of its aspects, and he loves to rant about Tantra, sexuality, and conscious relationships.

Check out Raffa’s Website or connect with him on Facebook, Youtube, or Twitter.

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When Your Partner Isn't Attracted To You Anymore

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Do You Feel Entitled To Your Partner Feeling Attraction For You?

“But I am his wife!”
“She is my woman.”
“He hasn’t slept with me in over 2 months.”
“She is always turning down sex.”
I often hear things like these in my dating, intimacy, and relationship coaching practice and although each relationship is complex and unique, I want to talk about attraction today and why we need to be aware of how it works.
There may be an attraction problem if our partner doesn’t desire us as much as they used to.
When it comes to attraction and desire we need to understand one thing, you can’t ask someone to desire you and be attracted to you.
Someone is attracted to you based on how you show up in your life and theirs.
A relationship label is never an excuse to assume attraction either.
Just because he is your husband or she is your girlfriend doesn’t mean he or she should desire you automatically and vice versa.
If your partner doesn’t desire you as much as you want, you need to take a deeper look at the polarity in the relationship. Are you both showing up as attractive to each other?
Not understanding the dynamics of connection and attraction is what often leads couples who began with a lot of passion into leveling out and over time feeling more like friends or roommates than lovers.
With a group of women I coach, I recently shared this example about a woman opening up sexually when masculine energy is around.
I asked them the following:
“Let’s say you meet a man and date long distance. The relationship progresses and now he asks you to move to his city to be with him. So you drop everything and move across the country to be with your man and when you arrive, feeling scared and unsettled, he is needy and asking you for sex everyday, and then taking it personally as he wonders out loud to you why you don’t want him… how would that make you feel?”
There was a collective distaste over every woman’s face. Many of their faces said, “heck no!”
Then I asked:
“But what if he was focused on making everything smooth, solving problems, helping you land and be safe, being the leader needed at that moment, what would that do for you?”
Every woman instantly smiled a sexy little smile and had a very happy look on her face.
There are many attraction triggers for men and women, but I’ll share one that is very strong for women.
When a woman has sex it increases her chances of getting pregnant. It is therefore in her biology to assess safety and assure herself of it before having sex, because if she gets pregnant she becomes vulnerable. If she isn’t safe, her child will be at risk.
So, if a man focuses less on his feelings of being rejected by his woman sexually and steps up as her man by funneling that energy into creating safety around her, it helps her feel like she is with a directional, grounded and strong man who is un-reactive at a time when she may feel reactive (scared, ungrounded, unsettled).
She will then feel at ease in his capable hands and soften out of her masculine energy, into her feminine, and open herself up sexually.
A shift in perception is sometimes required rather than the usual way people often deal with these situations — by taking them as a personal rejection.
These moments are always an invitation to step up into a greater version of ourselves and into deeper understanding of the attraction triggers in our partners.
Read More By Giordana Toccaceli
“Why Women Stay in Relationships with Emotionally Unavailable Men”

12966291_10153439436716332_855021454_nGiordana Toccaceli is an International Dating, Relationship and Intimacy Expert having worked with thousands of women and men around the world to become their most attractive and magnetic selves and attract incredible partners into their lives in record time.
Giordana has worked with a wide range of clients from Top CEOs, Billionaires, successful entrepreneurs, professional athletes, actors, models and every day men and women. She is a regular contributor to Univision TV’s morning show “Despierta Austin” and the Founder of Woman’s Allure and the Co-Founder of Embody Love Project.
Book a free Discovery Session today and find out what’s holding you back from feeling deep freedom, vibrant health, and alignment in your life. Access your free gift today: Get Giordana’s Heal Your Heart” 10 Minute Meditation.

 
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Man Of The Week – JuVan Langford

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Here at ManTalks Man Of The Week, we are constantly looking for Men who are challenging the status quo, pushing the boundaries and sparking conversations that are sensitive, but necessary. This week’s Man Of The Week ticks all of those boxes! JuVan Langford is a masterful storyteller, speaker and YouTube influencer. Since discovering his purpose, JuVan has made it his goal to spark conversations for men that help them redefine masculinity, breakthrough limits and help realize potential. JuVan’s legacy is to create a multigenerational cycle of inspiring mentors for young men and with his YouTube Vlog called ‘Thought Life’, which is a digital brotherhood that creates a space for vulnerable, powerful and authentic men to learn and grow from one another, he is well on his way to doing just that!
Age – 27
What do you do?
YouTube Influencer, Digital Storyteller, Speaker
Why do you do it?
Our boys have become broken men.
How do you make a difference in the world? (Work, business, life, family, self)
I create content, conversations and community for men to breakthrough the stories that are holding them back from realizing their potential, passion and purpose.
What are 3 defining moments in your life?
– Accepting my fathers death.
– Being fired for the first time.
– Writing my first book.
What is your life purpose?
To make vulnerability a second language for men. To redefine both manhood and masculinity.
How did you tap into it?
Ownership. The hardest lesson to learn is the one you were born to teach others.
Who is your Role-Model or Mentor?
Maya Angelou. She taught me the power of words and by the same token the impact and influence of my own story.
Do you have any daily habits? If so, what are they?
Prayer, and lots of it.
When do you know your work/life balance is off?
There is an overwhleming and declining shift in momentum.
Vulnerability is a challenge for most men – share a vulnerable moment from your life with us.
A conversation of forgiveness with my mother for giving me for adoption.
What did you learn from it?
We are all a constant work in progress, but it is through that work that we progress.
If you are or were going to be a mentor for another man, what is one piece of advice you would give him?
You don’t need the limelight, you are already well lit.
How do you be the best partner (Boyfriend/Husband- past or present)
By following a very simple personal philosophy, “I take care of me for you and you take care of you for me.”
Do you support any Charities or Not-for-profits? (Which one(s) and why?)
A four year mentor of the Earl Woods Foundation
If your life had a theme song, what would it be?
Bob Marley – Don’t Worry
Where do you see yourself in 3 years?
Traveling the world speaking, writing and facilitating transformative experiences for boys and men.
What legacy do you want to leave for future generations?
A digital brotherhood that creates a multigenerational and virtuous cycle of mentors for young men.
What one book would you recommend for any Man?
The Book of Proverbs, The Bible.
 

If you know a Man that is making a positive impact on the world, we would love to hear from you! Contact us at [email protected]

Man Of The Week – Mike Campbell

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Our newest Man Of The Week is somebody who has gone through a decade-long journey of evolution, realization and change. Starting off as a personal trainer over 11 years ago, Mike Campbell knew one of his strengths was in helping men. Being an astute observer, Mike noticed an opportunity to help beyond just the physical aspect as many of his clients shared their personal struggles in life. Mike saw a trend where men often pose as the biggest obstacle to their own success by accepting mediocrity as the hand dealt to them. A born problem solver, rather than stand idly by, Mike decided he was going to “be the difference [he] wanted to see in the world.” From being a bestselling author, to coaching and hosting workshops for men around the world, Mike makes a conscious decision to encourage men globally to become the best versions of themselves by showing men their true potential.
 
Age – 33
What do you do? (Work)
I’m a Man Coach. I help men get off the ‘Mediocre-Man Treadmill’ and become their own perfect mix of James Bond, Nelson Mandela and Batman. Well, that’s the snappy pitch that does the trick of creating the kind of questions that lead to meaningful conversations and work.
I do this via coaching and workshops based around what I call ‘Masculine Attraction’, essentially doing the work to uncover who you really are as a man, what drives your behaviours and what it is you really want your life to be.
Why do you do it?
I started as a personal trainer about 11 years ago, and being naturally curious, observant and quite practical, I soon figured out that not only was there more to helping people than just the physical, but the issues that were coming up were the same. It was also in men, who I largely worked with. So I dug deeper and uncovered an overwhelming conclusion; we’ve forgotten how to be men – and a strong fire in me; to help men realize their potential and actually love their life.
I couldn’t understand how so many men just accepted mediocrity as if it were “their lot”, so the natural evolution of myself as a man as well as a coach just led me to solving these problems for men.
How do you make a difference in the world? (Work, business, life, family, self)
As stated above, I am passionate about helping men become their best. To gain clarity and direction in their life so they can actually work out what is important to them and then go about making that part of their everyday life. So every part of my business is geared towards this. Now I know that I can bring every guy into my workshops or coaching, which is why my book: “Unleash Your Alpha – eat like a man, train like a beast, operate like a gentleman and become a legend” is such an important part of what I do, because it can reach anyone.
Outside of that, I truly believe that we are all a constant evolution, and I work to continually be a better man in every area of life; as a partner, a son, brother, mate, uncle. A big aspect of this for me is to practise what I preach and lead by example. I want to ‘be the difference I want to see in the world’.
What are 3 defining moments in your life?
Because I reflect and assess myself and my life a bit, I would say that I have moments that were defining in at the time, and then those that were defining upon reflection with more awareness. Having said that, a combo probably does the trick.
– The first isn’t a moment but a big selection of them. Undoubtedly my upbringing has been hugely influential in how I have turned out. My parents, sisters and the situations that became my earlier years provided the clay that eventually molded me into who I am today.
– A second more specific one would be my previous relationship and engagement ending about 5 years ago. I think I was improving as a man then, which opened me up to really take a look at myself when this happened. It wasn’t bitter or anything, it just made me really look hard at who I was and what I needed to work on.
– Three would be losing my mother to lung cancer (as a non smoker), which was around this time too. Always having had a high importance on health, watching her live with more balls for four years after being diagnosed than most do their entire life, really rammed home to me the importance of health, knowing what you want out fo life and doing your best to live it.
What is your life purpose?
I consider my purpose to be two fold; both holding up a mirror to the men of today that forces them to assess themselves and their lives, and then helping them to realize their potential.
How did you tap into it?
It was a process, a long one! One that involved my own work, allowing clarity in my head around what was important to me. From here I looked at who I was and what I am skilled at, best suited to do and what really lights me up.
I can now say wholeheartedly that I believe every man was born with the potential to be a real masculine leader in our society, and it is my mission to help them realize that potential. It took time though, I had to keep working on it, digging, uncovering, refining. Trial and error. But the work is worth it, this gives my life purpose.
Who is your Role-Model or Mentor?
I have had a few of both. My father was very present as I grew up, in fact he coached my rugby teams until the age of 17, so this was very influential as both a role model and mentor of sorts. At the same time my mother helped mold the feminine aspect of me. However, as an adult and entrepreneur I’ve had a few mentors, one that stands out to mention would be Daniel Priestley (author of Entrepreneur Revolution)
Do you have any daily habits? If so, what are they?
My days can be quite different, but on the whole, yes. I try to meditate in the morning for 20 minutes first thing. Phone hasn’t been turned on. I then make breakfast, sit down to it and read a few pieces from a (big) book called ‘1001 ideas that changed the way we think’.
I try to move every day, be it training or just playing around on the ground with some bodyweight work or walking.
I love to cook, so usually make dinner and listen to music. And always aim to have some quality time with my partner.
When do you know your work/life balance is off?
When my partner and I are only talking about work/business (we both work from home a lot), when I haven’t seen my sister and my nieces much, or seen my mates.
Vulnerability is a challenge for most men – share a vulnerable moment from your life with us
Yes, this is one of my biggest messages to my clients/readers; vulnerability is courage – so happy to share. Long story shortened; I was at home in NZ with Nardia (my partner) at her brother’s place with all her family. Sitting round her father asked “So Mike, what are you intentions with our Nardia?” Everyone turned to stare at me expectantly. I put my hand on her leg next to mine, looked him in the eye and said “I’ll continue to love Nardia with all my heart and do whatever I can to make our lives together as good as they can be.”
What did you learn from it?
This was another thing to reinforce saying what feels naturally right, listening to my gut. But also to be vulnerable and show my strength.
If you are or were going to be a mentor for another man, what is one piece of advice you would give him?
I am and I have many pieces of advice… ha. But one of my main would be to “Drop the ego and get out of your own way, so that you can break out of what’s comfortable in order to grow and become your best”
How do you be the best partner (Boyfriend/Husband- past or present)
I do this by trying to truly understand her; what love language she speaks, when she needs attention/love and when she needs space. I do this by allowing her to be herself and do what makes her happy. I do this by being the best man I can be and creating a life that is meaningful for us.
Do you support any Charities or Not-for-profits? (Which one(s) and why?)
Yes I’m involved with ‘Project Futures’ whose mission is to end human trafficking. I see modern slavery and in particular the sex trade as something that starts and stops with men. I want to have more men having conversations about this issue, not just ignoring it. I’m passionate about men being their best/sorting their shit out, so this hits home with me. This year I’ll be participating in a cycle tour through Cambodia for this, visiting rehabilitation centres and raising funds/awareness.
If your life had a theme song, what would it be?
Shine on you crazy diamond. Not much because of some of the darker lyrics, but the concept of knowing your ‘crazy diamond’/weird and shining on as yourself.
Where do you see yourself in 3 years?
Married, one kid and thriving in this small family unit, supporting all of us, including Nardia to be living her passion as well. I see myself having authored one more bestselling book, delivered my 2 day workshop to 1000 men globally and started a movement for a new manhood, inspiring men every day to get off the mediocre-man treadmill and realize their potential.
What legacy do you want to leave for future generations?
I talk about legacy a lot in my workshops as I believe it’s important for every man to think about this for himself. For me I want my legacy to be around continually becoming your best, in all areas of life. Don’t accept the status quo, but search out what is right for you and make it happen.
What One book would you recommend for any Man?
Why my own of course! I say that part in jest, part not. I wrote this book to simplify the information around health, fitness and manhood in order to help men get in great shape, not just physically, but in all areas of their life. I sincerely believe there are messages in there for a large proportion of men who are looking to get more out of life.
That said, I’d also recommend ‘The New Manhood’ by Steve Biddulph. A great look at masculinity and manhood for the 21st century.
If you know a Man that is making a positive impact on the world, we would love to hear from you! Contact us at [email protected]

"Masculinity…?" – Just another label

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How many times have you heard the old phrase “Men don’t cry, crying is a form of weakness… crying is for wimps.?”
How many times have you noticed yourself apprehensive to someone else’s emotions of any extreme, and you may even recede or check out from the situation before you get emotional?
Have you ever been curious to understand why some males appear to be not as empathetic or compassionate as others? You probably linked it back to the nature of the hormonal balance that comes as a result of a man’s genetics.
There are men who are sensitive, emotional and highly attuned to higher vibration and frequencies. However, it’s not common to see emotional transparency in the male population in North American culture.
So, how did men become wired and programmed to be less revealing or open when it comes to their feelings and emotions?
All men have feelings and emotions, and we process them in different ways. But often they stay underneath the surface and we hide them until things boil over. Is this purely based on genetics and the way we were born into the world? Or perhaps this is just a matter of having a more implosive versus explosive nature?! Could it be related to the way we were raised, or the environment we grew up in, our family, friends, and social circles?
What exactly is ‘masculinity…?’
I went to Grindr and other dating apps to find out. And most of the time I would find guys who say ‘seeking a ‘‘masc’’ dude who is fit and active and is into (insert activities) and likes their beer and sports.’
There’s nothing wrong with seeking someone with those traits, interests or lifestyle. But does that actually have anything to do with being ‘masculine?‘ How did these traits become affiliated with being more masculine?
This idea that certain ways of expression, emotions and feelings are reserved for a gender or sexual preference has always baffled me.
When I was a kid, the littlest situations would bring me to tears. If someone looked at me funny or if a voice were raised to me I would cry. I am the same way today, especially if someone raised a voice to me.
When something like that happens, andI start to cry, people around me would say “stop being a girl, boys don’t cry!”
Yet tears are not always what they seem to be. Have you ever had those moments when you are purely happy, content, and before you knew it, there were tears rolling down your face, and the entire body ‘lets go?’
It’s not easy to be that open and expressive, to reveal yourself and be prone to judgment, criticism, other people’s opinions and perhaps ignorance.
When you are able to tune into your real emotion and vulnerability, a feeling of strength washes over you, you feel strong, confident and I guarantee you that you will be the most ‘masculine’ person in the room!
 

IMG_9887Hiiro Sigal Prince

Hiiro is the creator of The True Identity Project + Project Z: (Yoga | Resources for Adolescent Cancer Patients).
He currently offers public Therapeutic/Classical Restorative, Yin, Hatha and Vinyasa classes in the Lower Mainland through YYoga, Chopra Yoga Centre, and YMCA Robert Lee. Hiiro also is completing his SCHWINN Indoor Cycling training to teach Spin and completing level 1 and 2 of his Phoenix Rising Yoga Therapy Training with Shivani Wells in May 2015. In August 2015, Hiiro will be a presenter for the 2015 Yogathon.
Outside of his yoga practice and teaching, Hiiro enjoys his spare time pursuing his passion for photography, creative writing and visual/performing arts, enjoying float sessions, spin classes, guzzling cold-pressed green juices, wearing an awesome pair of Fluevog boots and indulging in reality TV and the occasional childhood video game session. He cares deeply for his community and is always wearing a smile on his face and arms wide-open to give the universe a hug.
Connect with Hirro through his Website, Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, YouTube and LinkedIn

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