Archives for April 2015

Embracing Pain with an Open Heart as an Emotionally Sensitive Guy

Growing up, it was a struggle for me to feel a sense of belonging regardless of where I lived or who was in my life. It seemed like I was living in my own world most of the time and seemingly oblivious to what was going on around me. I always felt somehow different and disconnected. It felt like there was something wrong or missing in my life that I couldn’t quite grasp.
This presented me with a massive challenge throughout most of my life, as the core need I sought after was to feel loved and connected to others. But it seemed that no matter how hard I attempted to prove to others how “worthy” I was of their acceptance, it would only push people away.
This led to a lot pain and suffering as I could not understand why others would seemingly just gravitate towards each other in close friendships and romantic relationships and yet I was struggling to barely fit in.
My subconscious belief at the time was that people didn’t accept me because I was not “good enough” for them. I believed that if everyone simply saw how smart, resourceful, creative, and kind I was, that people would finally accept and love me.
But the harder I tried, the more people pushed me away. I was constantly ostracized by my peers and rejected by women that I conveyed interest in. These experiences further ingrained the belief that I was inherently unlovable and worthless if others would not accept me.
It was only later in my early 20’s, when I began to work on myself more seriously, that I realized how disconnected I was from my emotions and learned to shut myself down to avoid feeling all the pain and heartbreak I experienced in my life.
I actually took pride in my ability to remain completely emotionally detached from life and live up in my head. I believed that relying on emotions was a weakness and made us flawed and illogical which held us back.
This inclination towards valuing knowledge over emotion served to help me grow intellectually very rapidly. However, my relationships suffered immensely. I began to see that no matter how “smart” I got, or how much stuff I knew, it did not seem to win me any friends or make me any happier. I only managed to grow more lonely and depressed as time went on.
It was time to make radical changes in my life. I needed to shift my priorities and values to allow myself to begin truly experiencing my emotions and doing what it took to finally be “happy” and feel connected to others. This decision took me down the path of serious emotional healing work.

“… without a doubt the heart is an inexhaustible source of love, insight, and intelligence that far surpasses that of the mind.”
― Baptist de Pape

It felt like I had opened my own emotional Pandora’s box and was not prepared to handle what came out. All my old wounds involving my insecurities, abandonment, rejection, and heartbreak rushed to the surface screaming for my attention.
Growing up I had accumulated a plethora of experiences to ingrain the belief that I was worthless and unlovable, from regular bullying in school to mental abuse at home. I adapted to absorb it all by shutting down emotionally so I wouldn’t have to feel the pain. However, if you shut yourself off from feeling pain, you also shut yourself off from experiencing much of anything else too.
Until then, I never considered myself an emotionally sensitive person. But after beginning to navigate this unknown emotional landscape, my only impulse was to attempt to shut down again in the hope of avoiding the intensity of a lifetime’s worth of pain.
On this journey of healing, I recognized and began to embrace my emotional sensitivity as a gift. And the lesson that I am continually reminded of (often painfully) is that we must learn to keep our hearts open despite the pain.

“When you open to your heart, your entire world changes–it opens up around you. You see yourself as part of a friendly universe, one that is full of possibility, one that is generating and regenerating a positive energy.”
― Baptist de Pape

My greatest breakthroughs and lessons came from staying with the pain and continuing to remain present with my feelings rather than shutting down. As an emotionally sensitive person, it’s easy to become overwhelmed and simply to shut down and build up walls in attempt to protect your heart.
I had suffered many years before I learned this powerful lesson that completely shifted my experience. It didn’t shield me from other inevitable pain and disappointments, but it provided me with the capacity to continue feeling my feelings despite the circumstances.
It has made me and my heart stronger knowing that I am capable of moving through any experiences that may arise, no matter how challenging. In the face of great emotional turmoil, I will stand my ground and not run away or shut down.

“The power of the heart is to be connected with who you are at the deepest level.”
~ Eckhart Tolle

This is ultimately the path of true transformation and growth. If we truly wish to experience the fullest depth of our being and what is possible for us, then we must have the courage to face ourselves and continue to keep ourselves open.
 
27452285564476.LvXmKGeoHA8XFcMkttiQ_height640Alexanndre Levan is dedicated to living a self-actualized life. He shares his facility to bring wisdom and consciousness teachings down-to-earth to empower those on the path of spiritual awakening. He is especially committed to illuminating and activating the path for Millennial Leaders to live meaningful and purposeful lives, realizing their potential through embracing the higher-consciousness that is coming into the world today.
Connect with Alexanndre on his blog and Facebook Page

Being Comfortable in the Mystery

Tell me about your spirituality… Huh?! What? Um, OK…
Being asked to speak at ManTalks about spirituality, I asked myself do I have any more to offer about this topic than anyone else?!
What is spirituality, what is consciousness, why are we here, why does all of this even exist? Where can we begin? How does one describe the indescribable? How do you attempt to use definitive and limiting language to explain or convey personal, subjective experiences?
To me, spirituality seems to be the conscious (or unconscious) relationship we have with the present moment. No matter what that seems to be for each of us, there is a truth we can all agree on; we are here, now. We do exist. So that’s something. That is something we can build upon. And whether we are aware of it or not, we are still having a spiritual experience.
What is consciousness?
Well… I don’t know. But it seems to include a number of things: how we perceive the world, our thoughts, being aware, our intentions and more. I tend to lean more towards the notion that consciousness is a fundamental property of the universe, not something confined strictly to our brains.
It seems that a correlation between consciousness and our material world does exist in some way, shape or form. You can rationalize this by the notion of intelligence. I see intelligence as something that can respond to the environment in some organized way. This can be taken all the way down to sub-atomic particles interacting with one another based off of their various physical properties of mass, charge or polarity, velocity or trajectory. At some level consciousness could be a part of all that exists. And as these patterns of nature layer upon layer build on one another, the reactivity between matter and the environment evolves and appears more complex. And this layering of complexity could link those subatomic particles all the way to Miley Cyrus twerking on a stage!
“Everything in its most basic form is not matter but energy.” – Unknown.
I have always tried to be as open as possible to ideas, philosophies and phenomenon. But ultimately what helped me formulate my personal relationship with the present moment (all that is), up until this current point, comes down to the exploring my curiosity.
 
Travelling
Anything that takes you out of your daily patterns, rhythms, and behaviours can stretch your mind and touch your heart in unpredictable ways.
When I set out traveling, I did not have a conscious spiritual intention. But backpacking around the globe, be it solo or in small groups, shook me up so much that I couldn’t help but feel and experience the expansion of my consciousness.
When you travel, everything is new and different. The climate, the cities, the sights and sounds, the food and smells, the language and culture. You’ll get derailed from your usual automatized way of being externally and internally. It becomes easy to be present because you’re always able to observe the simple things of life that we often become numb to.
Plus you connect with others of our earth tribe, and that is always a rich connection to experience as well. It is for these reasons and more that traveling can become a spiritual experience, a prolonged period of deep connection to the earth, people, and the present moment.
 

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Photo Credit: Mike Zaremba (Yoga Practice, India)

 
Practices
Much like traveling can catalyze a greater state of presence and connection to whatever is, there are pantheons of other practices that can ultimately do the same thing.
The act of deautomatization and bringing one’s self into the present moment, deeply connecting to one’s self, and the rest of the universe, through the portals of ourselves (our minds, hearts, and bodies), is ultimately what a consistent practice can bring you.
Practicing yogic asanas (physical exercise) and meditations (Vipassana, pranayama, and floating) can send you deep into altered states of consciousness, not usually experienced in our contemporary westernized world fueled by caffeine and alcohol.
Our whole lives exist along a spectrum of consciousness. Our state of consciousness is always in flux. Simple things like low-blood sugar will affect our state. Likewise a full nights rest will also affect our state of consciousness. Drinking alcohol, smoking cigarettes, running 20 km, will also alter our state of consciousness. It is our personal labels that decide if something is a positive or negative state to us.
It is only through putting yourself into clear, yet definitively altered states of consciousness; that will cause you to have a greater perspective on things.
Author, philosopher, and psychonaut Terence McKenna says that only when you PERTURB consciousness enough in certain ways do we notice that it is even there at all. He equates it to humans swimming in a sea of consciousness, and it is not until you alter your state that you are able to perceive the water. He cleverly says that whoever discovered water surely wasn’t a fish. It is not until we can shift our state of consciousness enough to perceive it from a different space that we can better understand the nature of our consciousness.
When I commit to a regular practice of asana, seated meditation or floating (I am often doing a constant combination of all 3) it usually sends me into a hypersensitive state of calm and stillness. It helps to cut through the habitual patterns of thought that may or may not be serving me and shifts me into a state of groundedness and/or elevates me into a state of floatingness. I find that each practice begins to synergistically affect one another as well. The various practices can bring me into a similar space, but each coming from a unique direction that generates a unique experience and understanding.
It is these sorts of practices that allow me to become so calm and peaceful that I can comfortably release and surrender into my current totality of myself in the present moment. And even when I notice some resistance, usually generated by the ego (my identification with form), they have taught me to release as much as I can each time. I have found this ability to surrender to be extremely helpful when reacting to something that hasn’t gone to plan, something perceivably negative, which can always be reframed into a lesson or greater understanding. I try to make every negative turn into a teaching that will then serve me.
 

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Photo Credit: Mike Zaremba (Peru, Ayahuasca Alter)

Entheogens
The lessons of surrender, releasing or letting go via the practices above have helped me to dive deep into my subconscious with acceptance, compassion and courage when I’ve explored the plant teachers of this earth.
Last year I came out of the closet, so to speak, about my personal use with these currently controversial and inappropriately illegal substances.
I don’t think that the use of substances like psilocybin mushrooms, Ayahuasca, or cannabis should be used in a recreational environment, but ideally regulated and safely used with the guidance of experienced elders or in a setting with a deeper intention.
Those who have been to the other side and back, and have a sound grasp of navigating, not only the deeper layers of themselves, but also into these deep, mystical realms that these plants seem to reveal when consumed, are ideally those who should introduce these vegetable allies to others.
The entire nature of our neurophysiological interaction with these plants is truly taking things to another level that I don’t recommend everyone to do. Just like I would not suggest a person with heart disease and high risk to a myocardial infarction take a hike up the Grouse Grind. But I do feel with the appropriate perquisites and intentions there are many who would experience massive personal benefits by using these Entheogens with respect, reverence, and guidance.
The term Entheogen is my preferred use instead of psychedelic or hallucinogen. It means generating the divine within. Personally, I can say that these substances have cultivated many profound personal insights, revelations, and understandings for me. They have revealed patterns of limiting beliefs that I was previously not aware of. They have opened my heart (the seed or gateway of our spirituality) in ways I did not know I could. And they have shown me by direct experience other planes of existence. I have encountered spirits and have come to my personal conclusions that this world is magic. I cannot say it any other way.
At the risk of sounding like a flake, I still say this; for the experiences I have had up until this point Magic is the best way I can describe it. The plants can talk, there are other Beings, and we have much to learn.
I look forward to any and all comments. Please don’t take my words on blind faith, put them to your tests. Develop your own models and relationships with your existence, your life experience in this infinite and beautiful universe. That is the only way.
In the words of Van Morrison: “No guru, no method, no teacher, just you and me and Mother Nature. In the garden, in the garden, wet with rain.”
Thank you.

27089502628343.LcfNP0c2TPW9uGxVfOzP_height640Mike Zaremba
is a Certified Strength and Conditioning Specialist who no longer works directly in this field, but rather is now the co-founder of Float House, Vancouver’s first commercial float centre in Vancouver in over 20 years. He and his brother, Andy, are now leaders within this rapidly growing industry with the ultimate goal of making floating into a mainstream practice and tool actively used by contemporary medicine. He’s an avid world traveller and is always looking to challenge himself by getting into those uncomfortable experiences in life. Mike is a Vancouverite transplant originally from Mississauga, ON and now calls North Vancouver home.
Connect with Mike on Twitter and Facebook

Recapping An Incredible Night! – ManTalks Role Models and Mentors

Well, we did it again… another epic, inspiring and sold out ManTalks Monday at our new event space at HOOTSUITE HQ! 
First off BIG thanks and appreciation to the team at Hootsuite, who opened up their space, helped us set up/take down and stayed off the clock to help make this all happen for our community!
If you missed the evening, read on for a quick recap of the night, and if you were there, we’ve highlighted our favourite moments and would love to hear yours.
 
9d098739-2cc8-4231-9da5-90a15963c68aManTalks Role Models and Mentors kicked off with a wonderful introduction by our founder Connor Beaton.
This month we brought four local speakers to our stage to share their journeys of mentorship, role models, and the impact fatherhood has had on their ability to lead, inspire and connect to purpose.
It was a night filled with laughter, deep insights and inspiration from each speaker and wonderful engagement from the community.
 
 
 
81feb756-2167-4db6-8699-9b0b46fc0b72Andy Zaremba
The first speaker to take our stage on Monday was Andy Zaremba from Float House.
Our four biggest takeaways from Andy:

  • Before you can become a role model, you have first to take care of yourself, deal with your “stuff” and learn how to become accountable to yourself.
  • Challenges are along your path for you to move THROUGH. It is in the darkest times that you are lead towards and through exactly what you need to face to become your greatest version of yourself.
  • Becoming a father while unexpected and filled with many unanticipated challenges has become Andy’s biggest access to experiencing unconditional love.
  • Being vulnerable takes great courage and strength. By doing so, you create the space for others to follow your lead, drop into their hearts, get real with themselves and have experiences that truly matter.

 
808f334c-bd48-4c25-9bc3-06266680d15bRicky Shetty
Our second speaker was Ricky Shetty from Daddy Blogger
Our four biggest takeaways from Ricky:

  • The best quality in a mentor is their ability to truly listen.
  • We always run the risk of repeating the patterns of our parents and early childhood role models and the ability to change patterns of dysfunctional behavior reside 100% in your willingness to freely choose to become someone different.
  • One of the keys to healing these past patterns is forgiveness.
  • Mentors have the capacity and responsibility of believing in you. They see things in you that you currently can’t. Their ability to see these qualities in you and remind you regularly leads to a life-changing tipping point where their belief in you helps you to begin believing in yourself.

 
5f0b240d-3474-4fb7-a644-f7dba8f49e36Horrasias Balabyekkubo
Our third speaker of the night was Horrasias Balabyekkubo Philanthropist and Inspirational Speaker.
Our four biggest takeaways from Horrasias:

  • The role of the masculine is to Protect, Provide and Preserve the love and innocence of the ones who look up to you for your guidance and leadership.
  • Becoming a father is one of the greatest ways in which he could directly give back to the world by loving extraordinarily.
  • We are so fearful of being excellent but you are born for great things and it is up to you to guide your purpose from within and not let anything or anyone take away what you are destined to become. Challenges and hardships have the potential to completely erode your positive life view any by remaining congruent with who you really are in those great times of challenge, you become an example of purpose, love and truth in action.
  • The importance of giving freely. To truly understand the nature of giving and unconditional love you have to be willing to be part of the experience. There is a difference between intellectualizing and experiencing. To become legendary you must be willing to dive into the experience of love fully and completely.

 
 69510dcb-324b-44b2-b164-801e98caccf7Dai Manual
Our final speaker of the evening was Dai Manual COO of Fitness Town Inc.
Our four biggest takeaways from Dai:

  • Making promises to others has no real significant impact until you learn how to make and keep promises to yourself.
  • Mentors truly want to know who you are and are equipped in asking the right questions to understand who you really are behind all the smoke and mirrors of your life.
  • The pain of living a dual life provides you with the opportunity to become more compassionate and a better listener- two fundamental qualities in role models and mentors who have the potential to make a profound positive difference in the lives of future generations.
  • Nothing is finite or determined. No matter what choices you have made in the past every moment is an opportunity to change something and in his words “become the type of man you would want your daughters to spend the rest of their lives with.”

 
Our final takeaway of the night was a question posed to the audience from our founder:

“Who do you want to have a deeper relationship with? What is stopping you?”

We want to hear from YOU!
Share your insights, takeaways and breakthroughs with us! Using the hashtag #mantalks on all social media forums will help us find you and keep the inspired conversations going!
Next ManTalks Monday will take place on May 25th at Hootsuite, where we’ll be diving into the theme: Masculinity and Purpose. Tickets go on sale soon so keep an eye on your inbox!
Team ManTalks

How I Became A Better Son

Imagine this: it’s your last conversation with your father. He’s sitting across from you and you need to say all the things you haven’t said or have always wanted to say to him but haven’t. I faced this reality, but not because my father’s life was in jeopardy (thankfully) but because I didn’t have the type of relationship with him I wanted. This thought changed everything.
What about you? What would you say? What would you reveal or ask if you KNEW it was the last conversation? Think about that while you read on…
Like 38% of children born in the 80’s I grew up in a divorced family, living with my mom (and her new family) and every second weekend with my dad (and his new family). He was, in many ways, my idol. I always wanted to be around him, ask him endless questions and, of course, gain his approval. Needless to say, my expectations for him were at times a little unrealistic.
I grew up wanting a different type of relationship than the one we had. I wanted more connection, more time, more advice, more everything. I thought since he was my dad that he should know and fulfill my expectations.
This led to frustration because for years I expected things without communicating. I expected phone calls, support, money, and time.
I got frustrated with our relationship because I felt he just didn’t care. So I called less, told him less, and expected less. It seemed like we were drifting apart which upset me.
It wasn’t until my late twenties when my life was on the verge of falling apart that I finally broke down and had a real conversation with my dad.
My relationship with my girlfriend of 4 years was falling apart because I had been unfaithful for over a year and couldn’t bring myself to ask anyone for help. I was carrying around a massive amount of guilt and shame and didn’t know who to talk to.
I visited my dad and family at the lake one weekend and communicated some of my fears, struggles, and dilemmas. I hoped that if anyone would understand and not be judgmental it would be him.
Standing on the pier overlooking the lake while drinking a scotch late one night I told it felt like I was failing at life. My relationship was a failure because of my choices, and I was hurting the woman I loved. I didn’t like the career I chose. I was miserable, ashamed, and I felt like “real life” was much harder than I had anticipated.
He shared some of his personal experiences and helped me see that we all have a path, we make choices and if they are not the right ones, we get a chance to make different ones (most of the time).
I told him I felt like an out of control monster who was trapped by the idea that ‘the grass is greener on the other side.’ He laughed and told me words of wisdom that are a constant reminder to this day. He said, “CB, the grass is always going to be greener on the other side because bullshit helps grass grow.”
We had a good laugh and at that moment I knew that — even though there might be an even darker time around the corner — he would be there no matter what.
Shortly after our talk I did fall into that darker place. The relationship came crashing down because I was caught in my lies. I left the music career I was working towards and found myself broke and alone.
During that time, I started to see how much I had been letting life and circumstances make my choices for me. I was playing the victim. I’m sure my dad saw it, but he was wise enough to let it run its course.
I slowly started to take matters into my own hands and realized that if I wanted a better relationship with him — or anyone else in my life — that it needed to start with me. So, I built a solid connection with my dad and through everything he has been a rock in my life ever since.
After many years of practice, here’s what I learned about how to be a great son and enjoy a great relationship with my Dad.  Remember — it’s never too late 🙂
1) Stop expecting shit from your Dad. If you want a relationship, make it happen. Want money? Make your own. Want to have a beer with him? Buy him one. Want his respect? Earn it — don’t just expect it.
Although asking for help from him is great and much needed sometimes, expecting things and not communicating them will only lead to frustration.
2) Understand what he’s interested in. This doesn’t mean you have to follow in his footsteps and have the same career (although I tried that). But it does mean that you need to understand what he’s interested in so you can connect about the things that matter to him. This shows you’re not selfish in the relationship.
3) Let him know what you need. Remember, your dad isn’t a mind reader. He may be intuitive and know when things are off, but ultimately he isn’t going to know what you need unless you tell him. If you want to have a call with him once a week to catch up and share your wins, tell him. Dads want to help and they want you to succeed.
4) Ask him for help. Dads are like any other guy — they want to fix shit. When you have problems, let them help you. They may not have the perfect answer, but at least they can help and feel of service. Dads want to feel useful, especially when it comes to their kids. This doesn’t mean you should ask for a new car or a bunch of money, but it might mean going to him for career advice while having a scotch.
5) Express your gratitude. Tell him he’s done a great job (this can be the hardest part). Sometimes all your dad needs is for you to tell him he’s done a great job and that he’s made a difference in your life.
Dads are proud, and they don’t expect anything from you. They are often so selfless and don’t ask for the gratitude they need, so when you give them thanks it can change everything.
With that in mind, ask yourself: What if this was the last conversation with my Dad? What would I do differently?
You don’t need to take all of these steps at once, but there is probably one that stuck out the most. Maybe it’s just a call to say thank you for being there. Maybe it’s a tough call about how you don’t have as good of a bond as you would like and are committed to making more of an effort. Either way, you know what action you need to take. So start now.
Read More By ManTalks founder, Connor Beaton:
5 Epic Questions to Help You Find Your Life Purpose
__________
Connor BeatonConnor Beaton is the founder of ManTalks. Connor credits his growth and success to the incredible leaders and mentors in his life.
A true believer in the power of reciprocity and that what you give to others you will get in return. Connor believes he is here to be of service to others and to contribute to your life.
 

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Role Models And Mentors: Why Are They So Important?

I believe there are many role models in the world but very few Mentors. A role model can be anyone you look up to, whose behaviors you might imitate. A mentor is a person with experience who acts as a guide for you.
We are shown examples of role models in the media constantly. Some are good, and others are not. Often the media highlights examples of role models when they are in the middle of some personal crisis or meltdown.
The problem is, human beings are sponges! Even if a role model behaves badly, there will be people who imitate and copy that behaviour, especially when those behaviours get a lot of media attention. That’s the reason media does not publicize suicides, or at least, shouldn’t, cause whenever there’s a high profile suicide, suicide rates will go up.
As adults, most of us can differentiate good behavior from bad. In fact, bad role models can demonstrate what not to do! And we can learn from their mistakes.
However, role models have a bigger influence over children and young people. Young people will often focus on the attention the negative behaviour attracts and may act out in similar ways for that reason. That is why the more publicity certain acts of violence or crime receive, such as high school shooting sprees, it’s very likely similar events will occur in other areas in the country or around the world.
I believe that if you are a parent you automatically become a role model for your children. Even if you are an absent parent, you will be shaping the views and beliefs of the child you have left behind and how they relate to people and the world. That’s not a judgment, just a fact.
As the father of a little girl, I am very cognizant of the fact that one day my daughter will most likely become romantically involved with someone very similar to me. She’ll also model her future relationships around the behaviour she observes in my current relationship.
The good news is, if I play my cards right, I won’t have to worry about the first guy she brings home (hopefully!)
As a parent, it’s my goal to become a mentor to my child. I hope to one day be able to share the accumulated knowledge from my life to help her avoid certain pitfalls.
Of course, I’m not so naïve to think that my daughter won’t make “mistakes.” But as long as I’m alive I’ll be there to help and support her when things don’t work out, like that first boyfriend!
And the one thing I’m sure of that I will always provide her with the unconditional love that only a father can give.
Having a mentor can help you reach higher levels of success. A great mentor will be there when your confidence is shaken or when you fall flat on your face! A mentor can prevent you from getting too far off course and get you back on track.
In a world where a Role Model might be a PGA Champion one day and then crash his Cadillac SUV into a tree while driving drunk the next (allegedly), having a mentor is a better bet. So be sure to hang on to that great mentor and to respect and honour that relationship.
Never take it lightly or for granted if you are lucky enough to have someone take you under their wing to help guide you through this life. And if you don’t have a mentor, make it a must to get one.
 
Andy ZarembaAndy Zaremba is the Co-host of the Vancouver Real podcast and the Co-founder/ owner of Float House (Vancouver’s first Float centre in over 20 years).
No matter which realm he’s playing in, he strives to be the best man he can possibly be, bringing his greatest efforts forth to his family, friends, & community. His precious daughter, Ella Faith, is truly a gift & continues to be a significant inspiration & strength in his life.
Andy has a fascination for learning & a deep passion for personal growth whether it be through books, courses, public speaking, podcasts, floating, & the like. He believes that growth is infinite & stagnation does not exist; the journey is purely about expansion & living fully with excellence regardless of the “imperfections”.

Why Mentoring is Important for Life and Business Success

Paul Ratsoy, Corey Porter, & Gary Bizzo…
Those names might not mean anything to you, however, to me, these three individuals have changed my life. Why…you ask? Because Paul, Corey, and Gary are my mentors. They have given me guidance in life, in marriage, in fatherhood, and in business.
We all NEED mentors to succeed.
Growing up, I didn’t have a healthy family foundation. My parents were always fighting, we never ate dinner around the dining table together as a family and we never went on camping or road trips. Eventually, my parents had a divorce. Not having a strong father figure, I would look up to Hockey Players as my mentors and role models. I would send them Hockey Cards in the mail asking for autographs, I would line-up for hours outside the Pacific Coliseum to meet my Canucks Mentors, and I would seek guidance from these sports heroes.
However, they weren’t really mentors…they were more like idols. What I needed was not someone distant to look up to but someone close who would look into me, guide and shape me, and help me form my core identity.
It was only in my early 20s that I got my first mentor: Paul Ratsoy. For the first time in my life, someone believe in me, someone invested time in me, someone loved and cared for me in a way that I never found with my parents, my dad, or my hockey heroes.
Week after week after week for several years, Paul Ratsoy invested quality time with me at Bread Garden at Park and Tilford Mall in North Vancouver to make me the man I am today. He listened as I shared my personal struggles regarding my faith, my family, my school, my career, and my life. He never judged, never questioned, never doubted…he just listened, just guided, just shared his insights, experiences, and inner wisdom.
After Paul, it was Corey Porter who spend lunch hour after lunch hour guiding me and forming me while I was an undergrad at UBC. Corey helped me form my spiritual identity and my passion for people. Corey sincerely loved and cared for people, and he imparted this love for people in me too. And now, it’s Gary Bizzo who invests one hour of his time each week on the phone giving me Business Mentorship through the Futurepreneur Program. After years of running multiple successful businesses, Gary is willing and able to invest the time needed to make my businesses a success.
I am eternally grateful for Paul, Corey, and Gary. Thank you.
I can’t really pay them back. However, I can pay it forward…by mentoring others. So, that’s what I have done. I have mentored a little brother Stuart through the Big Brothers Program. I have mentored new immigrants Phil and Ali through the Mosaic Immigrant Services. I have mentored disabled people through the Kudos Experience. And, most importantly, of all, I now am able to mentor my two young kids Rianne and Ryan by giving them a strong family foundation, by eating meals around the dining table, and by taking them on road trips and being the father I never had.
Mentorship is important for many reasons:
1) Guidance – having an experienced friend to learn from and to guide you
2) Accountability – being fully accountable to someone to reach your goals
3) Support – knowing that there is someone who deeply loves and cares for you
This Monday, April 13, 2015 join myself and other dads who will share the importance of having and being mentors and role models at ManTalks!
 
Ricky Shetty - Photobin PhotographyRicky Shetty is the owner and operator of the family-friendly website DaddyBlogger.com which gives a father’s perspective into parenting! In addition, Ricky runs several events, workshops, and conferences in Vancouver. His next big conference is BlogMasteryConference.com
Ricky’s greatest passion is fatherhood and his two wonderful kids Rianne and Ryan.You can find out more about Ricky on his Daddy Blogger website: http://daddyblogger.com/

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